ATTITUDES OF FELLOW PUPILS TO HOMOSEXUALITY

The majority of pupils had heard their fellow pupils making derogatory comments about homosexuals and homosexuality

The derogatory comments about gay people that young gay people hear from their school friends seriously damage the self-esteem and self-confidence of many of them.

It also delays them from coming to terms with their sexuality

All respondents were asked if they heard their fellow pupils talking about homosexuality.  The results are shown in the table below

Although the numbers of some groups are low there seems to a fairly consistent proportion.  Taking all respondents together 38 out 54 (70%) had heard about homosexuals or homosexuality from their fellow pupils.

All respondents were asked what they heard from fellow pupils about homosexuality.  The author has included most of the comments made by the young people as they give a vivid picture of the pressures on young gay people at school.

Derogatory comments about gay people 

4 lesbian/bisexual women       2 heterosexual women

23 gay/bisexual men               7 heterosexual men

What the gay and bisexual pupils heard:-

L1   -  "I heard people talk about homosexuality but it was usually to slag off someone or to say how disgusting they thought it was."

L2 -    "Mostly derogatory jokes which I don't think reflected my friends' genuine feelings about the whole issue.  It appeared that it was funny simply because it was still relatively 'taboo' as a subject, especially in an all-girl's school."

L9  –   "I didn’t hear about the way they lived.  It was more about what people thought of them and it wasn’t very nice."

L10 -  "[About] gay men most of all.  The usual - they were poofs, queer, dirty bastards and straight men had to walk with their bum to the wall.  That was a big one as there was a gay guy in my class (and a lesbian they knew about).  Lesbians weren't too bad as guys got turned on at the idea and the girls just laughed at the idea - no real slagging but out of the quesstion for them.  At the end of the day this was wrong."

G1 -    "That you could get HIV from kissing a gay man and if you came in contact with a gay man he would try and get you into bed and gay men raped children."

G4   - "Mixed views; positive and negative.  The positive views tended to come from people who were self-confident, secure within themselves and mature eg. "So what? You're still the same person, you've one life to lead, so lead it." The negative comments (from people who are immature, no self confidence etc.) Stephen, the usual - gays are sick perverts, paedophiles, dirty bastards etc."

G8 -  "Basically I heard the usual prejudices and stereotypes.  I would usually stand up against these views, though pretended I was straight and merely 'open-minded'.  I knew gay people (ie. family, friends etc.) who didn't know about me and I knew from them that the playground gossip about gays was all lies."

G9 -   "Mostly the usual stereotypes/myths.  For example, the old adage that no man was safe to bend over in the presence of a gay man; that lesbians were quite permitted to behave any way they pleased as long as a heterosexual man could watch."

G12 - "Just that it was an unnatural way to live and that gay people were discriminated against in a very big way, which made it more difficult to 'Come out' because you could almost expect to get a lot of abuse about it."

G13 - "Just comments of how people refer to homosexuals eg. queer bastards etc. and things they would do if they found a homosexual."

G14 – "[That we were] AIDS carriers.  [That we] abuse children."

G17 - "Just odd remarks when out with mates; "he's gay"; "he's a faggot'; "he's a pervert"; "Don't go near him, he's queer" sort of thing which did hurt as inside I knew I was gay myself and was not the same kind of pervert.  Just attracted to the same sex."

G19 – "All I ever heard was gay people being slagged off and laughed at."

G20 – "That gays were disgusting people.  It was all about sex; big groups of them all having sex; all gay men had AIDS.  It was made very clear that being gay was not O.K.  I thought I would loose all my friends if they ever thought/found out I was gay."

G22 – "I heard that being gay was unnatural, disgusting and somewhat tantalising."

G28 - "Very derogatory references from the so-called 'lads' at school.  Snide remarks - "Queer, Faggot bastards" and so on.  Also told by friend of two gay men who lived beside them in Drumahoe - usually in a very 'Nudge, nudge.  Wink, wink' manner - signs of disapproval and sneering.  Also rumours circulated about a teacher.  People were saying he had a nervous breakdown because he was gay.  If he was in a crowded room people would shout taunts and abuse at him about being a 'Faggot' etc."

G29  - "Normally insulting.  I was known as a 'bum chum'."

G30  - "Only gay people got AIDS and HIV and they all die alone."

Comments from Non-gay pupils

F1   -  "That lesbians are butch, how they made themselves  pregnant with donated sperm in a syringe. Also of detail of lesbian sex life.  Gay practices - rimming etc. Which I found incomprehensible and disgusting as I couldn’t imagine myself doing it."

M2  -  "In general there was the slagging of each other calling each other faggots etc., to insult each other but in general it was not a big issue. We didn't really think there was a big community. Everyone is only coming out now."

M3  -  "That AIDS was a homosexual disease; gay people were different."

M4  -  "Homosexuals are dirty and would stick one up you without a second’s thought."

M8  -  "The usual stereotype that boys who are shy, bookish or considered in any way effeminate are labelled gay - Also, the general idea that gay men are predatory and promiscuous."

M9  -  "Even at an early age (14) I knew people who were gay and lesbian but it never bothered me.  People were very narrow minded of this sort of thing at school and, to be honest, I felt the kind of 'Odd one out' or different  from the other kids because of my open-minded views."

Not all pupils heard derogatory comments.  Two heard gossip about gay people and they did not  say whether it was derogatory or not.

Gossip about gay people - 2 lesbian/bisexual women

L3   -   "If any of their family or relatives were gay and who was openly gay at school."

L4   -   "That our home economics teachers were gay but we had no proof.  I now believe they are."

Three heard their fellow pupils discussing the subject rationally

Positive discussion

1 lesbian/bisexual woman 1 gay/bisexual man 1 heterosexual woman

L7 –    "It wasn’t all positive.  Mostly girls at my school would say it’s okay but they wouldn’t be too comfortable around lesbians."

F3 -    "Mixed reactions, some said it was O.K., some said it was unnatural."

How did their fellow pupils' comments make them feel?

It is evident that most of what young people hear from their peers at school is derogatory.  This is especially true for the boys where 97% of the reported comments were negative. 

The survey asked the gay people how these comments made them feel.

Why it made you feel better.

L2  -   "Sometimes I felt 'stronger' for elevating myself above their narrow-minded views but more so for their lack of sensitivity towards the whole issue."

L7  –   "I guess I wasn’t confident or always comfortable with who I was.  I was shy when it came to discussing sex or boys. I withdrew pretty much into myself.  I suppose a bit angry and ashamed about who I was."

G3  -   "Because I knew that I was alright and was going to be O.K.  It was them who had the problem."

G4 -    "I did not have gay feelings at grammar school.  However I sensed that people should be given more credit for their attitudes to gay people.  Most people really don't find it disgusting, sick etc.  I still believe it's a small immature minority who can't accept this.  I have come across these people who are homophobic but only because they can't handle their own gay feelings.  I believe the more homophobic one is, the more they can't accept their gay feelings."

Why it made you feel worse.

L1  -  "If people that I went to school with and hung around with felt so negative towards homosexuality, what chance would I have if they ever found out?  I thought it best to keep my mouth closed and my head down and get on with things."

L2  -  "Sometimes I would find myself feeling completely isolated.  The jokes, etc., merely compounded that feeling."

L9  –  "It just made me feel wrong and [made me ask] how am I going to live my life?"

L10  - "Because I felt so lonely for myself and the gay guy in my class.  It also made me try to deny myself to myself and that takes a long time to come to terms with; even when you're out!"

G1  -  "Because by the time they were saying this I knew that I was gay and it upset me.  I didn't want them to come near me because I wanted to beat them senseless."

G2  -  "At my school to call someone gay, fruit, etc. was the ultimate insult."

G6  -  "It was made out as a very unacceptable thing to be.  I worried how teachers, principal, parents and people who know me would react."

G9  -  "Although I knew myself to be gay, I couldn’t relate myself to the gay men my peers talked about.  I was not interested in young boys etc.  I believed the myths etc. and was convinced that I was totally alone."

G12  - "Because I felt that I couldn't be me.  I had to pretend to be someone I wasn't and I craved to show people what I was really like."

G14 -  "It made me question everything I said to see if I let anything slip."

G17 -  "I felt quite lost all of my years at secondary school because of the hatred towards gay people; remarks etc. from my mates about other people; no one to turn to for help."

G18 –  "It made me feel even more isolated and also made me feel false.  Constantly living a lie was a strain."

G19 –  "Because I thought I was different at the time and this made me think I was an outcast as no one else seemed to have the same feelings as me."

G20 –  "I sort of believed half the stuff they said.  I was scared stiff of AIDS.  I was very afraid of being isolated and being on my own as I did not know any groups or places until I phoned Cara-Friend in Derry/Londonderry."

G21 – "The only reference points to the way I felt were all negative.  This made it incredibly difficult to come to terms with the way I felt."

G28 -  "Made me feel I couldn't be and wasn't gay because I would not be able to stand the taunts nor would my family who would be ashamed of how people thought about gay people - thus ashamed of me."

G30 -  "Because it made me feel dirty that only people like me could die of a STD and it also made me feel lonely to think I was going to die alone."

Why it made you feel no different.

G26 –  "It could easily make you feel less of yourself but it didn’t.  I knew there was nothing wrong with me.  The idea that I could show love and affection for another male was a good feeling."

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