CHAPTER FOUR Well, like Nick said, I pretty much hadn’t had a choice in the matter. I spent the entire day with him. And I mean entire day. Mind you, it was incredible, just being around him was enough at times. Thank God I wore a long shirt to cover up my crotch. We went out to eat, his treat. So obviously it was Micky D’s, nothing like treating a friend to a 5-dollar dinner. Then we shopped for hours. Now, knowing Nicky, he was really the one shopping, me being his portable rack to stack all his bags on. And now we were at the club Nick had been ranting about for so long. It was good. The music was good, the drinks were fine, but the company was better. We were both sitting at the bar, already having downed a couple of beers. I have to say, the alcohol did wonders for my nerves, I didn’t feel like I was gonna trip over my own two feet every two seconds or anything. Nick looked hot. And I mean fucking hot sitting there on the stool. His hair was gelled and messed up just right, his black shirt hugged his biceps and chest perfectly, and his tight black leather pants send my mind reeling. He was wearing his ‘I wanna get fucked tonight’ outfit. Shit. I could feel myself getting hard. So not what I needed with him less then a foot away from me. My eyes followed the outline of his plump lips, down his exposed neck, to his chest. I licked my lips unconsciously as my eyes traveled down his firm body to his pants. Those damn black leather pants that just scream ‘fuck me.’ I swallowed hard. “You there?” I caught Nick waving a hand in front of my face. Oops. Spaced out again. “Y-yeah.” He nodded and took another gulp of his beer. A breathtakingly beautiful woman sauntered up behind Nick. No. Fuck Nick don’t turn around. But I obviously caught his attention, whatever I was glaring at he wanted to see for himself too. He turned around. Nick’s eyes widened, and I could feel my cheeks getting flushed by the thought of him getting turned on by a woman. I was jealous. I was jealous of something that should have been absolutely normal. But it wasn’t. I guess I wasn’t either. She asked if he wanted to dance, he looked at me as if to ask permission. When I nodded ‘yes’ he winked at me and took the woman’s hand and led her to the dance floor. I didn’t take my eyes off him the entire night. Song after song. Grinding with that woman, practically fucking her on dance floor. It wasn’t fair. I took in a shaky breath and ordered another drink. He was pressed so hard against her. I shook my head and grabbed the drink, finishing it in seconds. I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve, my eyes never leaving the sight. I saw him whisper something in her ear and shivered involuntarily, feeling his breath on my neck. She smiled and turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips began to suck and nip at the base of her neck and she threw her head back. Damn. Even if it wasn’t me up there with him, that was still hot. I felt myself get hard and shifted uncomfortably to try and hide it. The songs got faster, and so did they. When his hand began to rub up and down her waist, to her hips and lower then up again I about fell out my seat. She responded by grabbing his ass and pulling him closer, making him close his eyes. His arousal was obvious, even if she hid it well, it was written all over his face. Which made it that more sexy. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore I saw him excuse himself and make his way through the crowd back to his seat. When he got closer my heart sped up and I couldn’t breathe, he was all sweaty and hot, not to mention his hard cock showing through his tight leather pants. “You ready to go?” He asked throwing himself back onto the stool. I smiled, damn was he beautiful. I nodded, not sure if I could make a coherent sentence and got my coat. We walked out of the club into the cold night air. I began rubbing my hands together to keep myself warm. “You didn’t take her home?” I knew my voice wavered slightly, but I chose to ignore it. He laughed and shook his head sticking his hands in his pockets, “nah, saving that for someone special.” He glanced at me briefly before hailing a cab. I stared at him, completely shocked, before slowly getting feeling back in my legs. What was that? What did that mean? He got into the cab that swerved up to the curb and hollered, “Come on B! You gonna stand there all day?” CHAPTER FIVE As soon as we got home he was in the shower. I tried not to think of that, but it was hard. Very hard. I shed myself of my clothes and climbed into my bed, and closed my eyes. Again, Nick in the shower flashed in my mind. I bit my lip to stop a moan. The door opened and I pretended to be sleeping, I can’t seem to master the ability to talk and have an erection at the same time. They both need all my concentration. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Since the minute I woke up, the only thing that was on my mind was Nick. And what that meant when he said he was waiting for the right person. I mean, he looked RIGHT at me. What else was I supposed to think? I felt butterflies in my stomach at just the thought. We had rehearsal. Fun, fun. After Fatima worked our asses off we got a 10 minute break, the way that woman can go on and on is beyond me. I leaned against the wall and slumped down to the floor, while I twisted the cap off my water bottle. I took my place, sitting in between a sprawled out AJ and a standing Kevin. Nick had been watching me the entire time. How was I supposed to concentrate on dancing when he was watching me? My mind drifted back to my earlier thoughts. What if that was a hint? What if he wanted me to ask him out? Or at least tell him about my feelings. My stomach muscles tightened. Maybe not. What if it wasn’t what he meant? What would happen? How would I even go about doing it? I dropped my head into my hands and began to rub my temples. Would he be supportive? Would he be grossed out? Could I ruin everything? When I told him about my plans to marry Leihanne he about flipped out. I guess he was upset that we wouldn’t be spending so much time together, but still, he didn’t take it very well. Well, he did, just not right away. This is a big deal. He’ll understand. He’s really in tune with my emotions and feelings. He’ll know that this means a lot to me and that it would crush me if he didn’t stay with me through this. “Up up up!” Fatima yelled. I groaned. Why me? CHAPTER SIX It had been two days. And nothing’s changed. Nick hasn’t looked at me like the way he did when we were out. He didn’t bring anything up. I’m planning on telling him tonight….don’t know exactly what I’m going to say, but I’ll think about it. He won’t push me away. I mean, it may be weird at first, if he doesn’t like me back, but hey, this is Nick we’re talking about here. He’d never do anything to make me feel bad. He’s my best friend. It would all be okay. I fell against the comfy bed I was getting so accustomed to. Nick was in AJ’s room playing Nintendo. I told him I needed to think about stuff and then take a nap. He understood and let me be for a bit. Maybe he does feel the same way. Maybe he’ll tell me how long he’d been waiting for me to say something. That it was killing him too. It would make sense. I mean, that’s what the looks in rehearsal meant, the meaningful glance at the bar. I smiled at the thoughts running through my head and closed my eyes. I fell into the first fitful sleep in forever. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* After about an hour and a half, I woke up with the feeling that someone was watching me. I opened one eye, but closed it immediately once the bright light hit it. “Hey,” a soft, husky voice greeted me. I opened my eyes to see Nick on my bed, simply staring at me. My heart was in my throat and I couldn’t speak. “Come on, get up. Get in the shower, we’ve only got 15 minutes,” Nick smiled. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The routine was the same as usual. Hot water. Clothes off. When the water hit my bare chest I closed my eyes, damn that felt good. I saw the curtain of the shower move slightly. I turned around when I realized I didn’t open a window. A hand on my face turned my head back around to face the wall. Holy shit! I knew it wasn’t Nick, it couldn’t have been…could it have? I felt a body press up against mine and I moaned. Fuck. “Shh, not a sound.” He whispered. It was Nick. My head began to spin and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. His strong hands landed on my shoulders lightly and traced the water droplets on my back. I shivered and closed my eyes. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand for much longer. “You were so hot watching me that night at the bar,” he whispered against my ear. Oh God. My mind still wasn’t registering the fact that Nick was in my shower. I was so hard at that point I thought I was gonna burst before he even touched me…if he even touched me. My hand rested on the wall in front of me, supporting me so I wouldn’t fall over. His arms wrapped around my shoulders as his hands explored my chest. His finger outlined my navel, and I felt my knees get weak. He did too and brought his other hand to my hip to support me. Nick’s other hand began to move downward. I braced myself for his touch. First he brushed himself against me slightly, to let me feel how hard he was. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up,” his breath against my neck sent another shiver rippling down my spine. The water was beginning to be too much, it was too hot and the heat radiating from Nick didn’t help much. I began to sweat. His hand grazed my cock making me moan before he turned me around to face him. Fuck he was hot. His hair was matted and wet, his cheeks were flushed and his whole body was gleaming from the water. His lips were instantly on my neck, nibbling softly and sucking at the base of it. My eyes rolled back as he licked his way down my chest. His tongue swirled around my nipple taking it in. My head was swimming, I couldn’t breathe. My fingers laced through his golden hair, bringing him closer to me. He pressed his body further against mine, I almost cried out at the feeling of him against me. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled away slightly so we could both watch as he grasped both our hardons in one hand, his other hand lightly on my hip. “Fuck,” I groaned thrusting my hips into him. He moaned at the friction it caused and spoke, his voice cracking, “Brian…don’t speak. Someone’ll here us.” I nodded, he was right. But I couldn’t seem to get over the fact that I made him moan. His thumb moved back and forth over me and I had to throw my head back to keep from yelling. “Brian…” He moaned against my ear. “Nick,” I managed to whisper back. “Brian,” his voice was louder now, I couldn’t believe I was making him feel this way. Suddenly I was smacked hard against my head. What the fuck? I opened my eyes and Nick was staring at me, a look of horror on his face. I frowned, what the hell? I knew he was taller than me but… oh my God. No. My head lifted and my eyes darted around the room. I wasn’t in the shower anymore. I was in my bed. I locked eyes with Nick’s. He looked absolutely terrified. He began backing away…the realization suddenly hit me. I had been dreaming. And by the look on Nick’s face it was out loud. “N-” I started, but his hand went up and he shook his head fiercely. “No. Don’t.” His voice was cold. I blinked. This can’t be happening. “No Nic-” “STOP IT! I don’t wanna hear it Brian!” Nick yelled. I began to shake. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. “But…” “You sick fuck!” Nick screamed. I closed my mouth, tears burning the back of my eyes. Those words hurt. I wasn’t sick. I was only in love. “I can’t believe you!” Nick’s face turned from frightened to pissed off. He began to pace. “You’re disgusting! What happened to all the preaching you went off on! Huh?!” I closed my eyes, and let a tear fall. That was harsh. I was still a religious man and he knew I wasn’t against gay relations even from the beginning. I couldn’t believe Nick was digging that deep. “You don’t see that in the bible do you? DO YOU!!” Nick stood in my face now, screaming. I looked away. “You’re a fag! How could you even think about that! I’ve been your BROTHER for so long!” He stopped and stared at me for a second. Making my blood run cold. “How long have you been like this, huh? Since I was a kid? Since we started?” He pointed a finger at me, “I bet you wished you could pounce me when I was like, thirteen! Pedophile!” “Nick…” I whispered. “No, don’t you Nick me! I’m not listening. I can’t believe I ever confided in you! This whole time I thought I had a friend I trusted, but you were just out to fuck me.” “That’s not true,” my tears were running freely now. There was no sense on stopping them now. “Look at you. You’re a wuss. Our entire friendship has been a lie.” He looked at me one last time, as if giving me the once over, made a face of pure hatred and opened the door. I was desperate. This couldn’t be it. I jumped out of my bed to catch him, but stumbled between the sheets and fell. He laughed bitterly and didn’t even look directly at me when he said the words I feared most. “Don’t EVER speak to me again. If I catch you even looking at me, it’s over. BackStreet is over.” And with that, the door closed and he was at the door. My body racked with sobs. I couldn’t control them. I was in a heap on the floor, tangled in sheets, having the love of my life completely rip my heart out and stomp on it a couple of times for good measure. What I couldn’t believe most, was that those words actually came out of Nick’s mouth . BACK NEXT |
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