CHAPTER SIXTEEN We all stood. Staring at him. AJ pretended he was contemplating. Kevin looked like he was going to bust up laughing. Howie’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “Guys, this is seriously not funny anymore. I’m tired, I’m sweaty, I’m smelly, I’m hungry, I have to piss…let me go.” “Man, he does whine a lot doesn’t he?” Kevin smiled. “But he’s right about one thing,” AJ remarked, holding his nose. “Fuck you Aje,” “Back at you,” AJ winked. Nick swallowed nervously, afraid someone else caught that. No one did. “I think we should leave him here,” “Me too,” I chimed in. Nick glared at me. “You guys resolve everything?” Kevin asked. Nick rolled his eyes. “Nick I meant it,” “Yes daddy, we hugged and now we’re gonna go paint our nails together,” Nick smiled exaggeratedly. Kevin looked at me, I smiled and nodded. “Wow, haven’t seen that in a while.” I blushed. “You know what? I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we all leave again? Leave Brian to get back at Nick, you know, give him a taste of his own medicine, what he put us all through.” Everyone agreed. I swallowed hard. I knew what AJ meant, what he was implying. I was scared Nick did too. “Whip his ass good,” Kevin laughed cluelessly walking out the door with the other guys. “I will,” I mumbled. “What?” “Nothing,” “I’m serious now, I wanna be untied!” “I know you do. But I wanna have some fun first, and seeing how I’m more in a position of dominance, what I say goes, huh?” “Fun?” “Fun,” “What kind of fun?” I smiled devilishly and approached the boy. “Brian,” Nick warned. “I’ll only go as far as you let me, I promise,” I leaned in slowly, brushing my lips softly against his. We were in no rush whatsoever. He responded, pressing his lips against mine. My head began to spin again, I couldn’t believe his affect on me. This time he asked for entrance, gliding his soft tongue over my plush lips. I opened welcomingly, allowing both our tongues to explore each other’s. He was nervous, I could tell, and so I brought my tongue into his mouth, his own teasing mine along the way. I explored his mouth, slowly, tasting, feeling everything that was Nick. I heard a soft moan, and my heart pounded in my ears. I couldn’t believe what was happening. God, this felt so right. My hands, which were planted on his chest, began to move. First, I rubbed his chest and then my hands went over his broad shoulders and down his back. My fingers went back up and lightly traced his neck. I felt him shudder and I laced my fingers in his golden hair. It was his turn, he wanted to take control of the kiss. He pushed my tongue back into my mouth and followed it just as eagerly. Massaging the sensitive spot I had hit on him earlier, I moaned, fisting my hands unconsciously in his hair. I felt him hard against my stomach. I wanted to do something, anything, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted. How he was going to react. Reluctantly, I pulled away from him, but smiled when he followed my lips, eyes still closed. His eyes fluttered open, glazed deep blue orbits stared back at me. “Holy shit…” he whispered huskily. I nodded. I brought my shaking hands down to show him how much I understood. “I know,” I whispered, my voice just as husky. “That fucking floored me,” he smiled. “Let’s do it again,” And we did. Over and over. His hips began rotating against my stomach, unconsciously. I looked up at him questioningly and he blushed. Adorable shade of red on him I might add. I was asking permission, “Nick?” “Soon,” he answered. Our lips met once again and our bodies pressed tightly against each other. I was trying so hard not to cum, it was so embarrassing. But every movement he just made me feel that much weaker. “Nick,” my voice broke as he continued to suck on my neck. “Fuck…Nick, I can’t-” He looked at me, almost in amazement, it was my turn to blush. He knew what I was trying to tell him. He didn’t seem to be disgusted, only in awe. He leaned in closer to me, making me shake. “Brian baby, come for me…please Bri,” his breath tickled against my ear. My hands landed on his hips, bringing him closer as he rotated hard against me. My head fell into the crook of his neck. “Come for me Bri,” His tongue darted out uncertainly, tracing the outline of my ear. That sent me completely over the edge as I whispered his name as I came. Not in a million years did I think that would happen. That I would come in Nick’s arms…well, so to speak. “Bri baby…untie me, please,” his teeth nibbled my ear and I became hard almost instantly again. “I don’t know…it’s so hot to see you tied up like this, should I?” I asked playfully. “Brian,” he sighed. “Nick, can I?” He took in a sharp breath. “What?” He whispered. He knew. “Can I touch you?” “Brian… I-” “Shh…Nicky, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I understand completely,” I looked down at his painfully hard erection, “I just wanted to help.” “Soon,” his voice cracked. I leaned across him and he held his breath, almost as if my presence affected him. Both my hands worked on the tight knot Kevin formed. Once I got his arm free I massaged his wrist, seeing how red it was. He sighed in relief. “Jesus that feels nice,” he smiled. I undid his other wrist. Both hands came up immediately to my head. He ran both hands over my face, memorizing. His thumbs brushed lightly against either side of my cheeks. He brought me in for a hug. “Holy fuck, this feels even better,” he murmured. My heart soared. My eyes watered. I was in heaven. “Nick…” I whispered. “Shh…” he whispered back. The door flew open. “FRICK AND FRACK ARE BACK!” AJ decided to yell across the entire hall. “Yes we are,” he smiled pulling away from me. He winked, and my stomach flipped. Oh my God. This was fucking paradise. - - - - - - - - This was surreal. I knew I was dreaming, but I was gonna live it to it’s fullest until I woke up. I sat on my bed, nervously pulling at my shirt. My hands wouldn’t stay still. I was trying to keep myself occupied. He needed time. I knew. I really did. I just…I couldn’t stay away from him. I needed to touch him. Now that…I can…I just can’t keep my hands off him. I found myself at his door, knocking lightly. “Nick?” I whispered. Moments later, I heard lazy footsteps trudging to the door. I smirked. The door swung open and a disheveled Nick stood before me in his boxers. Only his boxers. Messy hair…my smile faded and I swallowed hard. He smiled at my awkwardness and motioned for me to come in. We walked silently to his bed where he pulled down the covers and climbed in. I sat on the edge near his feet. “Nick?” “Hmm?” “We need to talk,” “I know,” “You first,” “You brought it up,” I sighed. “Nick, I know…” I took a deep breath, “Nick I know this is so new to you…hell it’s new to me. I just…I want to do this right.” He smiled. That gorgeous Nick Carter smile that made my heart flutter. “Me too,” “This is so weird,” “I know,” he laughed. “You told me you had feelings for me, then told me it was wrong. Are you sure?” Nick sighed and looked away. Shit. My heart began to ache, I didn’t like this. “I-” “Nick, what do you want?” “I want you,” he said simply, finally looking at me. “You do?” I whispered, relief washing throughout my entire body. He nodded. “Say it again,” I needed to be sure. I needed to hear it again…to make it true. “Brian…” “Please Nick?” He sighed. “Brian, I want you. I did. For a long time now. I just, didn’t want to, didn’t know how…I didn’t know what to do. Can…we try?” My eyes were wide in shock. I hadn’t expected that. Him so blunt. He just confessed his feelings two days ago. I felt as if I was the experienced one, the confident one. “Long time?” He nodded. “How long?” “Long enough,” “How long?” “Around a month,” My turn to nod, I tried to will my heart to stop beating so hard, it was starting to hurt. He wanted me. ‘For a long time now.’ When I looked back at him he closer than necessary. Too close. I felt my breath quicken. “Brian,” he whispered seductively. “Hmm?” I managed. “I want you. I want you so fucking bad, please let me have you, all of you, only you…” he captured my earlobe between his teeth. If I was standing, my knees would have buckled. My eyes rolled back and I leaned my head against the head. Fuck. Those words got me hot and hard all over again. “Please Bri, tell me you want me too.” “God Nick, you know I do,” I whispered, suddenly losing my breath again. “Say it,” his deep voice whispered against my ear, repeating my pervious words. “I wanna hear you say it,” his tongue darted out and outlined my ear. “Fuck…Nick, God…I want you too,” I whimpered, practically begging him. “We have to take it slow,” he leaned his forehead against mine. I nodded. He smiled. Good. He fell back against his pillow and pulled off the covers. I felt my heart slam into my chest as I lay down beside him, his body spooned mine so perfectly. His arm slid shyly over my side before landing on my stomach, I shuddered from the delicate touch. He pulled me closer as my eyes fluttered closed. Yes. We fit. Everything…everything was finally as it should be. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN I became aware of the arms wrapped around me slowly, waking up from a deep perfect sleep. Something I hadn’t done in ages. The heat radiating from the body wrapped around me became overwhelming. I needed to see him. Carefully I rolled around in his embrace. I have never felt so content in my entire life. I stared at the most beautiful creature beside me. His sandy eyelashes fluttering in his sleep, his perfect plush lips forming a pout…my breath caught in my throat. Stunning. My hand reached out and lightly traced his beautiful cheekbones, down to his chin. I brushed my fingertips over his lips. So innocent. I was so engrossed with his lips that I didn’t see his eyes open. His lips formed a smile, and I mirrored him. “ ‘Mornin’,” Nick’s hoarse morning voice whispered. I smiled and sighed in content, turning around and fitting myself back in his arms, against his body. His arms went tighter around me. I moaned lightly. “Nick,” I whispered. . “Hmm?” “I love this,” I felt him nod his head, “me too.” His lips pressed against my neck, over and over. My eyes fluttered shut, and I titled my head so he could get better access. His lips traced down to my collarbone as his tongue snaked out. My head began to spin and my heart raced with love. “Nick…” I moaned his name again. “Yes baby?” his kisses were still feather light. “I…oh God,” I moaned when his hands began to glide over my shirt on my stomach, he lifted my shirt and his fingers danced along the waistband of my boxers. My breath came in short gasps as my hands blindly searched behind me for his body. “Turn around,” he whispered against my ear, sending shivers throughout my body. I needed to see him too. It was an overpowering urge. I was met with crystal ocean blue eyes. As I gazed into his eyes, everything fit into place. We were the only ones in the entire world. On this bed. In each other’s arms. This is how it was supposed to be. It was too good to be true. A loud shrill broke our intense gaze as Nick reached over me for his phone. My heart sped up when he leaned in towards me and blew hot air against my neck. “Hello?” I watched Nick, seeing how I obviously couldn’t hear the other line. He lifted off of me when he heard the voice and tried to turn away from me. I felt a pang against my chest. That hurt. It was like just a second ago he was engrossed with me, now he won’t even meet my eyes. He checked his watch and groaned. We were obviously late. I just couldn’t remember what it was we were supposed to do. He frowned and his eyes finally locked with mine. “He’s uh…he’s here,” Nick blushed. He actually turned red. Who had he just admitted that too? Panic began to rise in my throat. What would they think? What if it was Kevin? Shit! “No…come on man, that’s nasty. Stop it. Aje,” he rolled his eyes, “drop it buddy. Nasty boy….No…no you cannot talk to him.” Thank God. Thank you AJ! Relief surged throughout my body. Thank God. I don’t think I would be able to handle everyone finding out. We haven’t even figured it out. It so wouldn’t be good. Nick was also visibly looser, leaning against me again. Then it clicked. Nasty boy? AJ? What was he thinking? Why had Nick not wanted me to talk to him? “Yeah okay…that sounds…no no, I get it. That’s good. I’ll see you soon.” Nick hung up and sighed, before turning back to me. “AJ?” He nodded. “What’d he want?” “He um…wanted me to know that I was late…and that um, you were missing. Everyone was looking for you,” I could feel the awkwardness in his voice as he blushed for the second time. Damn. He was just getting used to this. “So what happened?” I decided to drop the nasty boy part. “He said he’d think of something.” Nick got up and moved to his suitcase where he failed to unpack from when they first got there. I laid there in the bed. Our trance was broken and cold reality settled in. This was not going to be easy. And Nick was going to make sure of that. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Think of something my ass. You know what he thought of? Nick had a nightmare and wanted me to keep him company. Fucking idiot. Do I have a sign on my forehead that says ‘Go ahead Aje, spell it out for them?’ I shook my head, walking out of the elevator, leaving Nick, AJ, Kevin and Howie to talk for themselves. Ever since that call, Nick’s been well…completely distant. He wouldn’t even look at me, let alone touch me. And that hurt so much. But I guess…that’s part of the whole secrecy thing. I mean, not only is he scared, but he’s gotta accept it and figure it out. As much as it kills me, I’ve gotta let him get through that part alone. With the bodyguards by our sides, we made our way through the lobby and into the van. Past the thousands of screaming fans. No matter how many times I get to pass through them, I still feel the same rush, you know? Those screams are for us. I just can never get over that. Those people are outside there, all hours of the night, waiting for a glimpse at the most. Of us. It’s just…whoa. I wanted to stop and sign some autographs, but I was pushed they entire way through ‘cause there were too many to handle. I waved instead and sat in the back of the van. AJ followed me in and sat beside me, and Nick beside him. Howie and Kevin were in front of us and then we were off. Stealing glances at Nick every now and again, I came to realize he hadn’t once looked at me. Instead, he continued to stare out the window. He made it a point not to look at me. I couldn’t understand what I had done. It seemed like only two seconds ago we were wrapped up in each other’s arms, and now he wouldn’t even look at me. I felt my eyes water. I felt so used and pathetic all over again. I didn’t want to feel like this dammit. AJ looked up, thinking I was looking at him. He saw the pained expression in my eyes and looked at Nick, who still refused to look inside the van. AJ looked back at me and frowned his question. My gaze fell to the floor. Shit AJ, why do you have to be so observant? I didn’t answer. He didn’t press. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Our rehearsal was fine. As fine as it could be with Nick and I missing our cues and AJ trying to cover for us. Nick was clearly in his own little world, and I was determined to find out where that was. Three days. Three days of pure bliss, and Nick was the cause of it. I was not going to lose him without a fight. When our rehearsal was over, I stepped on Nick’s shoelace so it would untie, leaving him behind. Once the other guys were out of sight I sat down next to Nick and waited for him to look up. When he did, I felt my heart speed up again. I tried to will it to stop, but since when does your heart listen to your mind? His eyes quickly glanced away from my gaze and he stood up, ready to leave. “Nick…” I began, but he was walking to the dressing rooms. Watching his back go, my knees began to feel weak. This couldn’t be happening again. I couldn’t go through it again. I just got him. I couldn’t let him go. “Nick, please…don’t do this to me again,” I whispered. I didn’t think he heard me, but I wish he did. When I looked up, he had stopped walking. Hope seeped through into my mind. He didn’t want to let me go either. But he still made no move to turn around. Ignoring his inability to have a normal conversation, I began, sounding a lot more desperate then I needed to. “Nick…I just…what’s wrong? What did I do?” Nick turned around, eyes brimming with tears. It broke my heart to see him so torn. “Please Nick, talk to me.” I begged, stepping closer to him. My arms wrapped around his broad shoulders as he broke down, sobbing. His head fell into the crook of my neck. I ignored the shiver that ran down my spine. “Shh….baby, just talk to me. We can figure it out,” I tried to soothe him, rubbing his back rhythmically at the same time. He pulled away, just enough to look into my eyes. His forehead rested against mine for support, “I can’t do this. It’s too hard. The feelings, the emotions? I’ve never felt anything like this…and I’m…I’m scared.” He paused, talking a shaking breath, and then continued to rip out my heart from my chest, “I tried, I really did…Do you realize how hard this is for me? I can’t…I mean…you used to be my best friend. My best GUY friend.” He stepped away, and the warmth left my body entirely. “I just…I don’t understand my feelings for you. I can’t. I don’t know if I want to.” He finally confessed. I watched as his shoulders relaxed slightly, like a load had been taken off. But all he had done, was put it on me. BACK NEXT |
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