CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR Angela tried her hardest to imitate the macaroni and cheese that Brian makes to perfection for her. She also made chicken and carrots to go with it, along with some sparkling apple cider that Krista bought for her. She wasn't sure how good it was going to be, so she had some TV dinners in the freezer just in case. She was putting the finishing touches on the table, setting p the music, and looking herself over when 7:30 rolled around. She was a bit nervous, but more excited than anything. "I hope everything goes well tonight," she said to herself. Ten minutes later, Brian still hadn't showed up. "I wonder where he's at," she thought. 7:40pm turned into 8pm and that turned into 8:30pm. "That's it!" she said aloud. "I'm calling him." Angela dialed the familiar number to his house. It just rang and rang though; he never picked up. "This is not happening!" she cried, as she hung up the phone. She sat back down on the couch in hopes that this was a bad dream and that Brian would just knock on her door. He never did though. All she wanted to do was share her pregnancy with him. The news that they had created something together. But now, it seemed like it wasn't going to happen that way. Eventually, she blew out what was left of the candles on the table. The dinner she made never got eaten. Angela just wandered into her room, fell onto her bed, and cried herself to sleep. The following day.... Krista came home later that morning. She has crashed at Nick's house last night. She knew what happened to Brian last night and why he didn't show up. "Angela's gonna take this so hard," she thought. She didn't call and say anything because she didn't have time and she wanted to tell Angela in person so she could be there for her. Her heart was breaking as she walked towards Angela's room, knowing what she has to tell her. She took a deep breath and went in. Angela was rolled over on her side. "You awake?" "Yeah. I didn't sleep much last night." "I know." "Really?" "Yeah. I know why Brian didn't show up last night." Angela bolt right up. "You do, huh? What's his excuse that he couldn't tell me himself?" "Brian is.... Angela, Brian is in the hospital." "What happened to him?" she choked out as the color left her face. Krista saw the worry, confusion, all on Angela's face. She felt even worse than before, but knew that she had to be the one to tell her. "From what I understand, some guy was robbing his house. When Brian went out to go see what the noises were, the guy shot him. He was shot three times; twice in the chest and once in his right shoulder. As of right now, he's slipping in and out of consciousness. He really want to see you," she gently explained. "Oh God! Oh my God!" Angela screamed. "Now what?" "Get dressed and I'll take you to the hospital. The rest of the guys are already there." "OK," she said, going into shock. "Why didn't anyone call me? How did you find out?" "Calm down Angela. Nick and I were on our way over here so I could get a couple of things, but we saw the cops and the ambulance at his house. One of the neighbors called the cops when they heard the gunshots. Didn't you hear them?" "No," Angela replied, tears streaming down her face. Krista wrapped her arms around her best friend. "When we got there, we helped to identify him and explained who we were. They allowed us to ride in the ambulance and then we were at the hospital most of the night. Nick and I went back to his house to get a couple hours of sleep. The doctors don't want to operate until he's a little more stable; they're afraid that they'll lose him if they do now. So for right now, they are keeping him in ICU monitoring the bullet wounds. Angela I know you don't want to hear this, but he's not doing that well. We need to leave now, OK?" "Alright," Angela whispered, tasting her tears. She felt guilty for being mad at Brian when he was dying at the hospital. She was worried that he would never know that he was going to be the father of their child. She was scared that she was going to lose him. With Krista's help, she stumbled out the door, in a complete daze. CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE "Hello," the nurse said from behind the nurse's station. "You're here to see Brian Littrell right?" "Yes. And I have his girlfriend with me," Krista responded. "Her name please?" "Angela Connors." "Alright. One visitor at a time and just show this badge to the security guard at the door." The nurse handed both of them to Krista. "Thanks," she said and left to take Angela to Brian's room. They walked down the hallway until they came room 407; the room with the guard in front of it. Krista showed both of the badges to the guard who nodded at them. But before they could go in, Kevin came out. Angela saw his red-rimmed eyes and started crying again. He just wrapped her into a big hug and let her cry on his shoulder. "Angela, it's OK," he whispered to her. "Brian is strong and will come out of this. We just have to pray and be here for him. He knows that we're here. Go in and visit him. He needs you." "Thanks Kev," she sighed. "You always know what to say." "No problem," he said, putting on his best smile for her. "The rest of the guys and I will be in a special room they have set up for us on the floor above this one. There's also a guard in front of that one. I'll see you guys later." With that, he turned and headed for the stairs. "Ready?" Krista asked. "It's now or never." Krista led Angela into the room. But once she got in, she couldn't go any farther. There, all by himself, on the other side of the room, lay her other half, the love of her life. He was hooked up to so many machines and countless tubes in all places. His hair was messed up in a weird way and his eyes were closed in what Angela hoped was sleep. His face was as white as the sheets he laid upon. He looked almost dead. "Come on." Krista tugged on Angela's arm gently. "I can't!" she cried out as she fell to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably. "Get up right now!" Krista demanded. Angela just looked up at her. "Now is not the time to be feeling sorry for yourself. I understand that you are upset, but you need to be by his side. He needs to know that you're there for him. Now get up and get over there!" Angela slowly got up, walked over to the chair next to his bed, and sat down. She turned around and mouthed a "thank-you" to Krista who then left the room. The sight in front of her was just too much, but she promised herself that she wouldn't cry again. She was going to be strong for Brian. She had to be. She stroked his hair and kissed his cheek. There was no response. Angela could feel her heart being torn apart at the fact that there was absolutely nothing that she could do. She just sighed in frustration. A nurse came in to check on Brian's vitals. "You must be Brian's girlfriend." "Yes I am," she replied. "My daughter would be devastated to know that he's here in the hospital. She loves the Backstreet Boys and Brian is her favorite. You must be one lucky girl," the nurse smiled. "I consider myself one. Brian is everything I've ever wanted," Angela admitted. "I'm Molly. I'll most likely be taking care of him while he's here." "I'm Angela." "Well, he looks OK for now. His stats haven't changed." "Is that a good thing?" "Yes and no. Yes because he's become stable and no because they really should be up higher. But, if he stays this way, maybe they will operate soon." Angela forced a smile at Molly. "Don't worry. He'll pull through." She gave a reassuring smile to Angela and left. Angela watched her leave and then turned back to Brian. She took his hand in hers. "Brian," she started. "I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart. You have to make it. I don't know how I could live without you. I was mad at you for not showing up last night, but I'm not now. I swear. I had no idea what happened. I just wanted to tell you something that's so special to the both of us. And now.....now I may not be able to. You can't leave me now that I have you back again. I wouldn't be able to stand losing you twice in this lifetime." And even though she swore she wouldn't cry again, she felt the tears crawl down her cheeks. There was a response though. Brian squeezed her hand and slowly opened his eyes. "Don't cry Princess," he whispered. CHAPTER THIRTY SIX "Brian! Oh thank God!" Angela leaned over and gave him a gentle hug. "How do you feel?" "I'm in alot of pain. What happened?" "Sweetie, "she started. "You were shot three times by a man who was robbing your house." She watched his eyes widen. "The neighbors heard the shots and called the police. Luckily, Krista and Nick were driving back to my house and they saw the ambulance and police. They stopped, identified you, and rode with you to the hospital. AJ, Howie, and Kevin came soon after them. They were here all night. Earlier, Krista came to get me and brought me here." "So did they take the bullets out of me?" he slowly asked. Angela sighed. "No, not yet. Bri, I know that this is alot for you to take in right now, but you have to relax so that you can a little bit better and they can operate." "OK," he said as he tried to sit up. He winced in pain at every move. So Angela helped him until he was comfortable. "So what was this big news that you had to tell me?" he asked curiously. "Well, these aren't the exact conditions that I wanted to tell you under," she teased. Brian went to reply, but fell back on the bed. The heart monitor let out a loud, continuous beep. Angela looked up to see the straight line that indicated lifelessness. She panicked and ran out of the room. "Somebody help me! My boyfriend isn't breathing!!" The guard got up to calm Angela down while a couple of doctors and nurses ran into the room. They performed shock therapy on him and gave him chest compressions. Angela tried to run into the room, but the guard held her back. "You'll have to leave," he said to her. "Once the doctors get everything under control, they'll send someone up to let everyone know what's going on." She slowly turned around and walked toward the stairs. On her way she passed the nurses' station and Molly was sitting there doing paperwork. "Angela, what's wrong?" "Brian stopped breathing," she whispered. "Oh sweetie...." She got up and gave Angela a hug. Even though Molly didn't know Angela very long at all, she felt so bad for her. She seemed to really love her boyfriend and was taking all of it very hard. Molly decided that she would look out for them. "Are you going to be OK?" "Yeah," Angela said slowly. "I need to go up and tell everyone else." "OK. If there's anything I can do, let me know." "Alright, I will," Angela replied distantly. Molly watched her stagger towards the stairs and hoped that everything would turn out alright in the end for the two of them. She absolutely hated seeing young couples in love like this. Angela eventually wandered upstairs and to the room that everyone else was in. She flashed her badge her to the guard who let her in. Nick jumped up as soon as he saw her walk in. "What happened to Brian?" "Brian stopped breathing," she choked out again. Saying it again made it very real to her. Nick felt those words slap him across the face. His best friend had stopped breathing. Meaning that he was no longer living. "Brian...." he mumbled. Nick felt himself fall back onto the couch with Krista and just let himself cry. She stroked his back and let him cry on her. "Damnit!" AJ shouted and punched the wall. He stormed out of the room. "I'll go after him," Howie said and left the room as well. Kevin got up and sat Angela down. "What else happened?" he asked her. She took a deep breath. "I was talking to him when he suddenly fell back and wasn't breathing or anything. So I ran out and shouted for doctors. They came in and started doing shock therapy and CPR. I tried to see what was going on, but the guard made me leave." "Do they think he'll be OK?" Krista asked. "I'm hoping that he will be because-" "Brian will pull through," Kevin interrupted. "He's a strong kid. But for right now Angela, you need to just sit down and take it easy. Just remember that sometimes no news is good news." "I know. I think I'm going to go get some coffee to help calm me down." And with that, she left. After Angela left, Krista leaned over to Kevin and asked," Do you really think that Brian is going to pull through or were you just saying that?" Kevin looked over at her and said, "Oh, I know that he's going to pull through." Six hours later..... It took Howie a while, but he finally managed to calm AJ down and bring him back to the waiting area. Nick and Krista were both asleep on the couch due to lack of sleep the previous night and being emotionally drained. Kevin couldn't sit still and was constantly pacing around the room. Angela just sat curled up in a chair in the corner and had the same blank stare on her face since she walked into the room. They were all waiting for some sort of news. "Howie, why don't you take Angela, Krista, and Angela back to your place for a while? It's not doing them any good just sitting here. AJ and I can stay here in case we hear something," Kevin suggested. "That's a good idea." They both woke up Nick and Krista. "I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on," Angela refused. "Come on Angela. It's the best thing for you right now," AJ gently coaxed. "No," she said flatly. Finally, Krista grabbed her arm and dragged her down the hall with Howie and Nick following her. "We won't be long!" she called to Kevin and AJ. Krista just rolled her eyes. Not long after that, a doctor approached them. "Hi. I'm Dr. Thomas. You two are with Brian Littrell right?" "Yes, we are," Kevin answered. "But you have to do me a favor and hold off on telling us how he is. I just sent his girlfriend and a couple of my bandmates home to get some rest. Is it alright if I can get them back here so we can all hear his condition?" "Sure, no problem. Just have one of the nurses page me as soon as you're ready." "Thanks alot." Kevin said. "I'll call them," AJ volunteered. It wasn't long before they returned, all very eager to hear Brian's condition. "Where's the doctor?" Angela demanded. "Calm down Angela," Krista said. "I have to go ask for him," Kevin replied. "What if everything isn't OK?" Nick asked randomly. "Don't say that!" AJ snapped. "He's going to be fine. "Everyone needs to calm down," Howie said. "Being at each other's throats isn't going to help Brian." "He's right guys," Krista agreed. "The doctor will be here soon," Kevin said, returning to the waiting room. Suddenly, Angela started rambling about the baby and how she was mad at herself for being mad at Brian. Krista looked up and saw four confused faces. "What is she talking about?" Nick asked. Krista hesitated before saying, "Angela is having Brian's baby. And she got mad when he didn't show up last night." She suddenly felt bad for betraying her best friend's trust, but she knew she had to tell them. Looks of surprise replaced the confusions on all of their faces. But before they had a chance to question Krista, Dr. Thomas came in. "Hi. I'm Dr. Thomas," he said, re-introducing himself to everyone else. He then sat down in the only empty chair in the room. "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we have Brian stable and breathing after extensive surgery." They all sighed in relief, but knew there was more coming. "The bad news is that although he's stable, he has a weak pulse. We took only two bullets; the one that was in the shoulder and the one farthest from his heart. He wouldn't have made it through surgery had we tried to take out the closest one. We have him back in the ICU under close monitoring. We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable and...." "What's the point to all this?" AJ interrupted. Dr. Thomas sighed. He hated telling people this. "Things aren't looking very good for Brian at all.” CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN Nobody moved for a few seconds due to the fact that what Dr. Thomas had just said was still sinking in. Dr. Thomas looked around at all the faces staring blankly at him; he was almost afraid to say anything else. He was going to finish telling everyone about Brian's condition when he got interrupted. Nick sprang off the couch and headed right over to Dr. Thomas with fire in his eyes. "Don't sit here and feed me that bullshit. Brian is going to make it whether you want tell us that or not. He's pulled through more than you know." Dr. Thomas remained calm. Nick hasn't been the first person to react like this toward him. "I assure you that we're doing all we can. And I know that you don't like to hear that Brian isn't doing well, but I have to come tell you how he is doing whether it is good or bad." "It just better be good from now on." Nick growled and walked away. "Nick! You don't need to talk to Dr. Thomas like that," Kevin warned. "And who are you Kevin? My mother? What am I supposed to do with myself if it so happens that Brian doesn't make it? Huh? He's my best friend. My brother. I wouldn't be able to handle it. And I don't need this guy here handing me information that Brian might not make it. I need a definite answer along the lines of that Brian will make it." Nick shot back, his voice getting louder with each word. "We all want that Nick, but it's not gonna happen that way. And you need to accept that," Kevin retorted. "Nick, you need to understand that everyone here is just as upset and you do need to clam down. Brian is Kevin's cousin, is also best friends with AJ and Howie, and boyfriend to Angela. Kevin, you need to back off a little bit in the father figure area. Nick is a big boy and can be responsible for his own actions. We all need to be here for each other and not keep jumping down each other's throats," Krista scolded. "Didn't I say this once before?" Howie said, trying to lighten up the mood. Everyone shot him a look and he knew that wasn't exactly the right thing to say. "Anyway," Krista continued. "I'm sure Dr. Thomas wasn't finished telling us about Brian." He shook his head to confirm her. "And then after that, Nick, you and I and leaving so I can calm you down. I'm counting on Kevin, AJ, and Howie to take care of Angela for me. Cool?" All the guys nodded. Angela had her head buried in her hands and didn't give a response. "Anyway," Dr. Thomas continued. "I'm looking for a decision from an immediate family member. The last bullet that is still in Brian is very life-threatening. As his surgery went on to remove the other two, we noticed that the last one is moving slowly toward his superior vena cava, which is one of the main veins that moves blood back toward the heart. What this means is that if it keeps moving in the direction that it is, it will crush Brian's vein preventing any blood from getting to the heart along with internal bleeding. It would be something beyond repair and would mean his death. Brian is still very weak from the surgery and isn't ready to go back into the operating room. But if we don't remove this bullet now, it will kill him. So what I am looking for is a decision on whether to let him ride it out until he wakes up and take the chance of the bullet crushing the vein or taking him back to the OR room and chancing it there knowing that he's not strong enough and may not make it." Kevin sighed heavily and brushed the tears from his eyes. "It's time that I called Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold and told them anyway." "Please let me know as soon as we reach a decision," Dr. Thomas said before leaving. "I'll be right back," Kevin said and gave a nod toward Angela who was rubbing her stomach and whispering "Oh Brian" repeatedly. AJ sat down next to her and rubbed her back. "Angela, are you gonna be OK?" She looked at him with painful eyes and said," I will be, but Brian may not. And he needs to be here for the baby." "I know sweetie." He swept her into a hug. Krista gently took Nick by the hand and stood up. "We won't be long. I'll make sure that Nick has his cell on if anything comes up." They both left. Howie sat down on the other side of AJ and Angela. "Do you want one of us to take you back to AJ's place to get some rest?" "No," Angela said quickly. "I need to see Brian right now. I can't wait any longer." She jumped up and ran out the door with the ICU as her destination and Brian being the only thing on her mind. Nothing was going to stop her from seeing him. Nothing. Meanwhile.... "We'll be on the next flight," Jackie Littrell said through tears. This wasn't the first time that Brian has been in a life-threatening situation and it wasn't getting any easier on both Jackie and Harold. "Please don't let anything happen to him Kevin," she almost pleaded. "I'm trying my hardest Aunt Jackie," Kevin promised. "Thank you for doing all that you can Kevin. It means a lot," Harold said. "Come on Jackie. We need to pack and get going." "Have a safe flight." They exchanged good-byes and Kevin knew that his aunt and uncle must be going through hell. At the same time... As Nick and Krista walked through the door to Krista's house, Nick spun her around and gave her a very hungry kiss. He caught her by surprise, but she returned it. "What was that for?" she asked after they broke apart. "Don't ever leave me," he said, almost like a child. "Nick, I promise I won't and Brian won't either. He'll pull through just like you said. Not just for you or Angela, but for all of us. He knows how much we need him, how much his family needs him, how much the Backstreet Boys fans need him." Nick sighed. "You're right. But it still just eats away at me." They laid down on her bed. "I just get this feeling." "Sweetie I can understand that," she said, stroking his hair. "But you have to keep going and you have to be strong for him. Keep him in your thoughts and he'll know that you're there for him. Brian loves his life and everyone in it. You know that he'll be fighting as hard as he can to pull through for you guys more than himself." She looked over at her boyfriend and saw that he had fallen asleep. She sighed in relief that he'll have his mind off of this for a couple of hours. Krista curled up next to Nick and it wasn't long before she fell asleep as well. CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT "Angela, Brian needs his rest! This may not be the smartest thing to do," Howie ran behind her, trying to persuade her to stop. "I'm not stopping Howie," she said trance-like. "He needs to know about this baby." AJ grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. "Please listen to us. We all want to see Brian and I know that you want to tell him about your baby, but he needs all the rest he can get. He needs to have this surgery granted his parents give the permission. But Angela, please wait until he wakes up." "No. You listen to me," she said through clenched teeth with tears in her eyes. "I don't just want to see him, I have to see him. It's not about me. It's about the baby. He has to know now." "Angela come on..." She tore out of AJ's grasp and ran toward the stairs as fast as she could. She flew up the two flights of stairs to the ICU. The nurses yelled at her to walk, but they were a blur to her. The only thing she was thinking and seeing was Brian. Her eyes scanned right and then left until she saw the guard in front of the door. She took off again toward the door. "Miss, you can't go in there," the guard leapt up in front of her. "Oh yeah?" Angela retorted. "Watch me." She attempted to run past the guard into Brian's room, but he was too quick for her. "Let me go!!!" she screamed. Howie and AJ came out of the stairwell in time to see this happening. They ran over to the guard. "It's OK. You can put her down. This is Brian's girlfriend," Howie said. "OK, but I still have strict orders from the doctor not to let anyone in." "We know," AJ replied. "We'll take her from here." The guard let her go and Angela collapsed to the floor. "Why is everyone against me?" she cried. "We're not against you Angela. We're trying to protect you and Brian. If you keep this up, they'll never let you in." As AJ was saying this to her, Dr. Thomas walked by. She scrambled off the floor and ran after him. "Dr. Thomas! You have to let me see Brian! Please! I am begging you!" "I can't right now Miss Connors. He needs all the rest he can get to prepare him in case of surgery. Only immediate family members are allowed in at this time." "She's immediate family," Kevin said, walking out of the elevator. "She's carrying his baby and his parents have given verbal consent." "Oh God Kevin! Thank you!" She gave him a huge hug and made her way back to Brian's room to see her boyfriend. She opened the door slowly to see him in the form she had seen him in not even twenty-four hours ago. The only thing is that this time she had a huge pit in her stomach telling her that things weren't going to turn out as she hoped. As she slowly walked over to him, she saw him stir and open his eyes. "Angela," he whispered. "My Princess." "Brian," she choked out as she hugged him. "How do you feel?" "My chest hurts so much," he moaned. "I know baby, I know. I have to talk to you. Your parents are gonna be here soon so they can decide whether you need more surgery or not. If that last bullet isn't taken out of you soon, it will kill you." She watched the tears form in his eyes. "But you're going to be fine." "I hope so." "I have some good news for you though." She took a deep breath. "We're gonna have a baby!" Brian was speechless. All he could do was motion for her to lean over so he could give her a loving kiss. "Angela, this is great news! I wouldn't want anybody but you to be the mother of my children. So we have a little one growing in there?" he asked as he poked her stomach. She nodded with tears in her eyes. All she needed was Brian to survive this. So their baby could meet the man she loved so much. Sometime Later.... "We want him to have the surgery," Jackie said to Dr. Thomas. She had discussed this with Harold on the flight down to Orlando. In the waiting room sat Jackie, Harold, Harry, Angela, Krista, Nick, Kevin, AJ, and Howie. They all wanted to be there for the Littrells. "And you realize the risk that you're taking with this?" Dr. Thomas asked. Yes," Harold replied. "We'd feel better sitting around here knowing that at least something was being done for our son." "OK. His surgery will be scheduled for 1:30pm tomorrow afternoon. I will give time for everyone to be with him before hand under the circumstances. I suggest everyone goes home tonight to get some sleep if you all plan on staying here until you hear some news because it will be a long surgery process. Have a good night." As Dr. Thomas exited, everyone just looked at each other. "Well, I agree with Dr. Thomas." Jackie spoke up. "You guys haven't slept in more than 24 hours. You're gonna need it for tomorrow." As everyone got up to go home, Jackie said," Angela hold on a minute. I'd like to talk to you." Angela was confused but nodded her head. "I'll wait for you outside," Krista said to her. Jackie swept Angela into a hug after everyone left. "Angela, it is so good to see you and Brian back together. He's the happiest when you're with him. I missed seeing you around the house all the time. You're....you're like the daughter I never had," she cried. "Jackie, you know you have always been like my second mother. And now you're gonna see me all the time again because Brian is gonna make it. I know he is. He's gonna pull through for both of us." Jackie pulled her into a tighter hug and they cried together in the waiting room where they knew that they would be spending what would feel like hell tomorrow. BACK NEXT |
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