CHAPTER TWENTY THREE - DESPERATE FEELINGS
‘He needs a doctor, he needs a doctor,’ Brian thought to himself over and over again as he watched B sleeping beside him. After the incident in the bathroom Brian had tucked B up safely into his own bed where he could stay with him throughout the night in case the boy needed anything.
B did not say anything but he knew that he was grateful. He was frightened by what was happening to him. Not only did he have the Gerai looking for him, but also he was suffering from a strange new illness. A doctor was out of the question. B did not want one or the attention that would come with it. He was scared in case the Gerai came after him again.
Still there were no more messages, but Brian knew he had to get their follower to come forward. He might be the only one who could help B and shed light for Brian on the entire situation.
He knew it might be a risk but he sent them another message, telling them that B was sick and that he needed help. Cough medicine had not helped B before and Brian doubted that it would help stop him from vomiting more blood. If he had been ill in his own time then maybe the people there knew something about it.
He placed the phone back down on the bedside table and leaned over to check on B. He was breathing quietly in sleep and there was no hint of any bad dreams or restlessness.
Careful so as not to wake him Brian clambered out of bed, knowing that he had the house to clean for Sammy’s return. Sadly he stared at B, knowing that he had hardly had any treats since he had arrived.
Downstairs Brian dusted the entire lounge but refrained from using the vacuum cleaner in case it woke B up. Tyke knew what was coming and waited anxiously for Brian to get the strange black machine out of the closet so that he could have another attempt at savaging it but to his surprise it never came, so he set about trying to wrench the duster from Brian’s hands instead.
Brian laughed as the dog chased him, but the entertainment did little to clear his troubled mind. There was still an ache in his head and he kept glancing towards the stairs and thinking about B.
After cleaning Brian glanced at the time and decided to make B some breakfast, knowing that he had hardly ate anything yesterday. Brian filled a bowl full of cereals and placed it on a tray with milk and orange juice for B and then carried it all upstairs. As he passed Sammy’s door he couldn’t help but feel a wriggling in his stomach as it bubbled with excitement at the fact that he would soon be home. For the first time he would have B and Sammy together in his own home. Now if only they could track down the older Sammy, everything would be right and he need not worry anymore…
Carefully he pushed the door open, but B was awake and the pale face turned towards him as he heard the sound.
“Dad?” B asked, his voice faint.
“I’m here,” Brian replied swiftly. “I brought you some breakfast.”
“Thanks,” B whispered. “But I’m not hungry.”
Brian sat down on the bed beside B and laced the tray on the bedside table. “You hardly ate yesterday,” he said softly.
“Yeah but I still threw it all back up.”
“Please, just eat a little bit.”
B slowly nodded and struggled to sit up as Brian helped him to prop the pillows up behind him. He handed him the tray and smiled as B began to nibble on the cornflakes.
“What time is Sammy home?” B asked.
Brian glanced at his watch. “I have to leave to pick him up in just over an hour. Don’t worry, you’ll still get attention,” he added with a slight smile to try and cheer B up.
B smiled as he sipped his orange juice. He froze for a moment and then looked up at Brian. “I’m going to miss you so much when I go home.”
There was a pang in Brian’s heart and for a moment he was reminded of the destructive feelings that had threatened to consume him the time he had left B. It had almost been like his heart was collapsing in on itself as it contorted in agony. He felt the same pain threatening to rise up again. He had become closer to B then ever.
“Don’t think about it just yet,” Brian said as he placed a hand on B’s face. “I’m not letting you go until I know you’re going to be safe.”
“I wish things were like this in my time,” B whispered, so faintly that Brian almost did not hear him.
“Cheer up, you’ve got Sammy.”
“Yeah.” B’s eyes closed and he smiled. “I was going to wait until he came, but seeing as he seems to have decided to stay behind, I’ll tell you anyway, he’s getting married.”
“What? Really?”
B nodded. “He was so happy. She’s called Lori and she’s real nice.”
“Wow,” Brian said smiling at the thought of his family living on. It was juts a pity that Brian wouldn’t be there to see him get married…
B crunched down the rest of his cornflakes and then placed the empty bowl back on the tray while he downed the rest of the orange.
“You feel better?” Brian asked.
B nodded. “Yeah, I do actually.” He yawned. “Uh, thanks for staying with me last night. I was scared.”
“That’s what parents are supposed to do,” Brian said softly.
“You’re pretty good at parenting you know?”
“Is that really such a surprise?”
“No, it was just a compliment!”
Brian laughed slightly. “Thanks, and I really hope you’re not being sarcastic!”
“No I mean it! How many dads actually come through time to save your butt?”
“Well you’re special aren’t you?” Brian said as he placed an arm about him. “Because you’re mine.”
B smiled shyly. “I’m glad you like me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“… No reason. I’m just glad. Do you want me to move back to my room?” B asked. “I feel much better so I can walk without collapsing.”
‘My room?’ Brian smiled slightly. It was becoming B’s room, he was almost beginning to forget that B didn’t belong here. He was getting too used to having him around.
“If you want. Why don’t you go and I’ll bring the portable television in for you so that you don’t get bored.”
“Okay.”
Brian watched as B slowly slipped out of bed, wobbling slightly as his legs adjusted after the long period of sleep. “Is it okay if I have a shower?” B asked.
“Sure.”
While B showered Brian moved the small television into his room and then retrieved the Nintendo from downstairs. B would more than likely have to stay in his room the entire time after Sammy came home and Brian wanted to make sure that he was comfortable.
He glanced at the time and realised that he would have to leave to pick Sammy up soon. He remembered the present that he had brought him from the seafront and placed it on his bed where he could see it when he came home.
B was yawning as he exited the shower, wiping away at his damp blond hair with a fluffy towel. His eyes lit up when he saw the television in his room, positioned so that he could easily see it from bed.
“Oh wow, TV! And Nintendo!” B happily scampered into his room and began to shift through all the computer games.
Brian grinned. “You gonna be all right now?”
“Yep!” B said as he jammed a cartridge into the console.
Brian laughed and went to finish tidying Sammy’s room when he suddenly remembered B’s words from last night.
“I wanted to come and see you. I have to talk to you…”
“Hey B, what did you want to tell me last night?” Brian asked.
“Huh?”
“You said that there was something you wanted to tell me.”
“Oh.” B glanced down at the controller in his hands and then placed it down. He sighed and then sat down on the edge of his bed, his hands brushing against his head for a moment in a sign of stress. He waited for a moment as if gathering his thoughts up and then looked up at Brian. “That person who saved us the other day from the Gerai, I – I think I know who it is.”
Brian slowly sat down beside him. “A friend of yours?”
B nodded and Brian suddenly realised the haunted look that had entered his green eyes. It was a look of desperate pain and confusion as well as one of love and hate. “Someone I didn’t get on with very well in my time… He was the one who was hurt. I thought he was going to die…”
“B, come here,” Brian said gently as he wrapped his arms about him. “This is the one you think Sammy stayed home to look after?”
B wiped at his eyes in vain to try and clear away the tears, tears that bubbled out in a confused sob. He nodded again as he fell into Brian’s arms. “He hates me and he thinks I hate him. We don’t get on. We always fight. I thought he was gonna die!”
Brian thought back to the stranger and for the first time he felt guilty about the hatred and jealousy that squatted in his heart.
“You really care about him, huh?” he said softly.
“He hates me,” B said wretchedly.
“I’m sure he doesn’t.”
“He hates me!” B repeated. “He hates me, he hates me!”
“If he hated you, would he come looking for you like this?”
B said nothing, but he did not pull away from him. He remembered B’s mixed feelings towards him when they had met in 2023, the hatred, the love and the confusion of the two conflicting emotions. It was the same here, but B would never admit it.
“Who is it?” Brian asked after the silence had hovered in the air cackling for long enough.
“I can’t say,” B replied faintly.
“Do I know him?”
B nodded, but said nothing. There was something about his reluctance to speak that sent a chill through Brian’s body. B really did know more about what was going on than Brian did.
“Why can’t you say?” What was so bad that B was keeping it from him?
“I… I just can’t. Please don’t make me tell.”
“Okay, just tell me this. Does this person have something to do with why you ran away?”
B began to cry again. “I was scared! I thought he was going to die!” he wailed. “And it was all my fault!”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Why does he hate me?”
“I’m sure he doesn’t. You don’t hate him.”
“Yes I do.”
Brian could not help but smile slightly at the stubbornness that came out of B’s emotional confusion. “Yes you do. You care about him just as much as you do Sammy. He sounds like a part of your family.”
“I’m not going back with him.”
“If we see him again then we’ll have to talk to him. He can tell you where your brother is.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Speaking of your little brother, I have to go pick him up,” Brian said as he noticed the clock reading on the wall. He rubbed B’s shoulders. “You’ll be okay?”
B nodded. “Yes… Just lock the doors.”
“I will. When I get back we’ll talk about this a little more. I think we need to find this person and have a talk.”
“That wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“We need this sorting, B.” Brian slowly untangled his arms from his son and kissed him on the head. “I won’t be long.” And God did he pray that B would be safe.
B looked thoroughly miserable at the thought of meeting his friend again, but this had to be sorted. B was miserable without him and Brian could not bear that. If they could meet up, then maybe Brian would be allowed to keep B with him for a little longer.
“What if someone does come?” B asked.
Brian pulled the small cell phone from his pocket, the one he had been using to send messages to B’s friend. “Take this.” It did not look as if he was going to get a reply and besides, B would not know how to access a text message. “It’s a phone.”
“Duh,” B said, trying to banish some of his tears and despair with humour.
“I’ll take my second phone and I will call to check up on you when I reach the station. If you need me then you can call me and I’ll come back straight away, okay?”
“Okay,” B affirmed carefully placing it in his pocket.
Brian hurriedly scribbled down everything B needed on the notebook by the bed and handed it over. “Here’s instructions of how to make a call or answer a call from me and it has my phone number on it.”
“Right.” B scanned the paper. “Seems simple.”
Brian clasped his hands in his own. “I won’t be long.”
“Don’t worry. I got Tyke to protect me.” But he still seemed a little nervous.
Brian kissed him on the head. “I’ll be back soon.”
* * * * * * * * * *
Brian kept his eyes on the clock in his car as he sped along the roads. He was nervous about leaving B alone, especially after the incident with the Gerai. There had been nothing in the paper about any crashes so presumably the Gerai had survived and was unhurt. That meant that he would still be on the prowl. Still, Brian would be gone for less than an hour while he picked Sammy up.
When he reached the train station he gave B a quick call and received a very grouchy reply as he had just dragged B from his MarioKart game. Yes he was fine, Yes he felt much better, No he wasn’t upset anymore, No he did not feel any worse, Yes he still hated his friend, No he would not answer the door to strangers and Yes he did really want to go back to his game.
Well, at least he had improved since last night. Perhaps his illness was just caused by stress and fear. It hadn’t been easy for B lately and Brian knew that a lot of feelings had been kept buried inside where nobody could help him out with them. A break from his own time was what he had needed.
He placed his sunglasses on, despite the fact that there was little sun about on the grey day and hurried towards the train station. His face split with a huge smile as he saw the family exit the stone building. There was a blond little boy with them.
It only took a moment for Sammy to recognise him and his tiny face was suddenly alight with happiness.
“Daddy!” Sammy cried. Immediately the little legs were running as fast as they could as he eagerly dashed towards him.
Brian leant down and Sammy leapt into his arms. He laughed and kissed him lovingly on the cheek, his heart hammering inside of him as he held him close. “I missed you baby,” he whispered.
“I missed you!”
“Everything all right?” Jon asked.
Brian looked up, having almost completely forgotten about Jacob’s family. “Yeah, thanks for looking after him. It sounds like you had a great time.”
“We did!” Sammy and Jacob cried simultaneously.
“He’s a wonderful child,” Julie said.
“I know,” Brian said proudly kissing Sammy on the cheek. “Sorry to be ruse, but I can’t stay and chat. I need to get home.”
“So do we,” Jon said as he shook hands with Brian. “We’ll see you soon! We can’t keep Jacob and Sammy apart for long!” He handed Brian the large bag full of Sammy’s clothes.
Brian laughed. “Come on Sammy.”
“Byeeeee!” Sammy called to Jacob, waving at his friend.
“Bye Sammy!” the dark haired boy called back happily clutching the hands of both of his parents.
Brian smiled as he bundled Sammy into the back of the car, giving him another kiss as he did so. “I really have missed my little buddy.”
Sammy giggled and fidgeted about until he had pulled a brown dog from his coat pocket. “Look!”
“Aaww, I missed Rocky too!” Brian said playfully as he kissed the furry dog much to Sammy’s delight.
He shut Sammy in the back and then climbed into the front, anxious to return home where B could be safe under his own protecting gaze. His stomach was already beginning to churn, despite B’s assurance that he was fine. The Gerai was still at large and just waiting to pounce on his sweet son…
He drove them form the train station and onto the freeway, happily listening to Sammy’s chatter about the holiday. The beach had been fun and he had liked making sandcastles and he also liked a big wheel where he had seen the ‘whole world!’ He’d had a wonderful time and Brian was glad.
“Oh Sammy, I need to tell you something. We have a visitor staying with us,” Brian said carefully, thinking how to phrase everything. Sammy would soon realise that there was an extra person staying in their home and Brian did not want him to mistake it for a monster.
“Oooh who?” Sammy asked excitedly. “Nicky Nicky Nickers?”
Brian laughed. “You better not let Nicky hear you say that! No, it’s my friend’s son. He’s not very well though so I don’t want you trying to sneak into his room. He’s really not well. I just want you to know so that you don’t get scared if you hear somebody else in the house beside us two.”
“Can I play with him?”
“He’s a lot older than you. He’s seventeen. He’s staying in our spare room and you probably won’t see him around. You promise me you’re not going to bug him?”
Sammy nodded.
“Sammy this is serious. He’s really not well and he needs rest.”
“Okay,” Sammy said. “I be good. He real sick?”
Brian nodded sadly. “Yeah, he’s not well and he’s been pretty sad lately. I need to look after him. He needs quiet and rest.”
“Okay.”
“Good boy.” Sammy would be good, he had never caused any trouble and he always did as he was told. If Brian explained it to him now, then Sammy would behave rather than being frightened that Brian had hid the secret from him. He would no doubt be curious, but even if he did get a glance of B, it shouldn’t cause any problems in the future. The chances of a six year old remembering were exceedingly slim.
“Is he nice?”
“He’s a sweetie… most of the time.”
“Can I see when he better?”
Brian smiled. “You’ll see him one day.”
* * * * * * * *
B tried not to think about anything as he stared at the glowing television screen, watching the tiny pink car as he steered it about the bright green terrain.
Brian had made him think about too many things
A sudden ringing sent his car skidding into a pool of water as he jumped at the sound. He stared at the miniature phone Brian had given him accusingly and then snatched it up. It would only be Brian calling to check up on him again.
“Hey dad,” he said instantly.
“B, don’t hang up,” a familiar voice said.
B’s brow furrowed in confusion before he suddenly clicked. For a moment he felt his heart flicker unpleasantly inside of his chest as he fought not to give in to the emotions inside. What did he do? Was he happy? Was he sad? What did he do?
“B, say something. Please.”
B’s mouth was dry and the tears were coming to his eyes. He gulped slightly, unwilling to show weakness in his voice. He was better here. He loved Brian and Brian loved him. “What do you want?”
“Want? I’ve come to take you home!” the voice said desperately.
“But I like it here!” B said. “And… And I don’t want you around!” he tried to sound angry, but the tears were already spilling out onto his cheeks. He could hardly believe that he was alive and all he wanted to do was to cry in relief.
“B, don’t say that!” the voice was hurt, deeply hurt.
“It’s true!” B said, desperately trying not to sob.
“You can’t stay here! I know you’re happy and that’s all I want you to be! If I could I would let you stay because I know you care about him more than me!”
B could not fight the strangled cry from bubbling from his lips but he took a deep breath to prevent any other sounds from coming out. That wasn’t true… things were just different here.
“B, you’ve got to come home. I can’t find the Gerai and I know he’s still after you. Please just come home with me. We need to sort this out between us two and I would rather that Brian did not see me. We need to settle his without him.”
“Why?”
“He knows I’m here, he’s aware of my presence and he doesn’t like me. We’re too close to one another and it’s not right. Do you really want him to freak? Because he will when he realises exactly what’s happening.”
“How do you know he doesn’t like you?”
“Because we’ve been sending each other messages.”
“What? He never told me!” B wailed. ‘Traitor!’ How could Brian do this?
“He thought I was a Gerai. He probably didn’t want to worry you!”
B felt the tears sliding down his face. “Please, just leave us alone.”
“You can’t stay there forever.” He could hear the emotions in his voice now and hear the tears at the other end. B wanted to break down and cry. He wanted him to come over so that B could hold him and be reassured that he was alive and safe… but he couldn’t lave Brian. He already felt guilty for using him like this.
“I’m not going with you! Send Sammy instead,” B said. That would at least make Brian happy and B did not know what he would do if he saw this person again.
“Sammy is missing,” the voice said softly.
B felt his body turn cold, so cold that it hurt him. His soul shivered and his heart crumbled as he realised his instinct had been right. “What?”
“The Gerai took him. I’m getting you first then I’ll rescue him! Darren and the others are already working on it.”
“Why me first? Why don’t you get Sammy!” B screamed accusingly. Why? Why wasn’t he with Sammy? B was safe but Sammy wasn’t…
“He’s alive and safe. The Gerai will not harm him, we know that. You however, they are still looking for. B I only just made it in time in the street to save you! It’s getting too dangerous and I would die if anything ever happened to you.”
“Get Sammy!” B screamed, the sobs clear in his voice but he did not care anymore. The love and misery was replaced with anger.
There was a sob at the other end and the voice was overburdened with tears. “B, please! I want you to come home! I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted but - ”
“Leave me alone!” B screamed. “I hate you!”
B cut the signal and then hurled the phone across the room, watching as it hit the wall and fell to the ground in pieces under the power of the blow.
He curled himself up into a ball and began to cry, desperate sobs of agony. He had tried not to think of him while he was with Brian but the permanent reminder was there. He had missed him and he felt sick that things had not turned out how they expected. He wanted him back, he wanted Sammy back…
The sobs shook his body. Everything that had happened was his fault. He should never have come here. Everyone he loved had been hurt.
He pressed a pillow to his chest and sniffled miserably as thoughts of his family plagued and tortured his mind.