CHAPTER NINETEEN - FURIOUS DESPAIR
It is difficult to tell the time of the day when living underground. There was no morning sunlight that could filter through a window and awaken the weary sleeper.
Brian was trapped in a deep sleep, plagued by dark dreams and illusions of armoured Gerai fighters with weapons that rained fire down upon him. There was nothing to pull him form it, no light to show him that it was early morning.
There was a suffocating blackness closing in and preventing him from escaping. He was pinned, his chest could not even rise and fall to take in life giving breath. Out of the darkness now rose huge burning arcs of flames that seared the sky to open up orange and red wounds that shed light upon the blood stained mud of the battlefield where he could see the Gerai marching. Then suddenly everything was closing in and he could no longer see anything but the blackness. He could hear screaming, too far away and faint to distinguish whose voice it was, but close enough to hear the terror echoing within it.
He wanted to help but a heavy load was crushing him and forcing precious air from his lungs as he gasped to breathe in the heavy air, filled with thick dust. He could smell the dry dirt that floated about him like the shattered pieces of a tortured soul.
He shivered as he felt his mouth baking as if it were gaping out on a hot rock in the burning desert.
He gasped and then suddenly found his eyes staring up at the rocky ceiling, the cracks seeming to form a leering face that mocked his claustrophobic fears as everything closed in upon him.
He slowly sat up and found the glass of water from the bedside table to dampen his dry mouth. He glanced about him nervously, trying to ignore the way his heart hammered as he thought of the rocks that enclosed him.
He wasn’t sure how much longer he could remain underground with the fear of being buried and trapped constantly ripping at his mind. Every second he was aware of the rocks above him and about how they could fall and crush him.
He glanced towards the door knowing that he would need a walk to dispel his anxieties. He would prefer to be able to go outside and feel an empty sky above him instead of heavy boulders but Darren would never allow it and it would be unfair to for Brian to go out when B was permanently locked inside.
He turned his head abruptly at that thought, suddenly realising that B was no longer in his bed. He groaned slightly as he recalled last night. Another row over nothing… it seemed that fate and destiny were cruelly conspiring to keep Brian and B at war, even though there was nothing to fight about.
Brian sighed as he fell back onto his bed and covered his face with his hands in exasperation. Darren’s base was clean, bright but Brian could not feel uncomfortable so far underground where his mind recoiled at the walls about him. It was affecting B as well, he was bound to be frustrated at being stripped of his freedom.
“Another fight?” a soft voice said.
Brian opened his eyes and allowed his hands to fall by his sides. Slowly he nodded. “Another fight,” he confirmed. “I’m sorry Sammy, I just can’t get it to work.”
He turned his head and watched as Sammy sat himself down on B’s bed and stared at Brian. “What was it about?”
Brian threw his arms out into the air. “Nothing. “
“Really?” Sammy raised an eyebrow.
“Something just doesn’t work…”
Sammy was still watching him with the same impenetrable blue eyed gaze. Brian could feel it drilling into him and already he was crumbling under the silence. “He’s immature! I can’t do anything right! I try to help, I get shouted at!”
“And you shout back?” Sammy guessed.
“I…” Brian trailed off as he thought for a moment. “Yes.”
Sammy shook his head and lie back on B’s bed. “You have to be more patient with him! He’s seventeen and he wants freedom. He wants a little space so that he can grow up and explore the world on his own without someone constantly peeking over his shoulder! He’s frustrated at being down here because he can’t do anything! He’s bound to explode and you need to learn not to retaliate!”
Brian sat up and wrapped his arms about his knees. “It’s hard.”
Sammy sighed as he stared about the room. “He can be difficult sometimes.”
“He’s fine with you.”
“We’ve had our moments. He gets bad tempered, he takes it out on me but I let it go over my head and don’t react,” Sammy said simply. He sat facing Brian again. “Dad, he’s had one of the worst lives imaginable. He was traumatises as a child and he’s never recovered from it. How could he when he’s constantly being pursued by Gerai?”
Brian closed his eyes. Sammy was referring to the cruel experiments which had been performed upon b when he was only five years old. The Gerai had tortured him and infected him with numerous diseases before experimenting to find a cure. They had never let him rest since and B could never escape his past when it still haunted him.
“I try…” Brian whispered as he stared above him. God it was killing him to stay in these caverns and the only reason he was doing it was for B’s sake. He had realised his claustrophobia in the mines and he knew that it related to the tiny shafts he had been forced to crawl into as well as the incident when he had almost been crushed to death beneath the rubble of a house. He still dreamt about it, felt it sometimes…
He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and realised that Sammy had crossed to sit beside him. “I know you do,” he whispered. “And I know it’s not easy.”
“He hates me.” They always shouted, B always took it out on him…
Sammy smiled slightly. “No he doesn’t. He cares about you, that’s why everything is flung at you. You’re his father, it’s your job to deal with his anger. Look, I know he is a pain in the butt at the times, but can you blame him? How would you feel if you were in his situation? You finally get your freedom and then its snatched away and your home burnt to the ground.”
Brian fell back again. “I’ve made a mess of this. I don’t mean to get angry.”
“Just take it easy next time he shouts and don’t take it personally. It will stop soon. By shouting back, it only makes everything worse for him. He needs you to help him through this.”
Brian nodded. He turned and smiled at his older son. “What would I do without you? Me and B would have killed each other by now!”
Sammy smiled shyly and looked at his feet. Brian sat up and placed an arm about him. “Thank you. For everything.” Sammy was an angel. First he had somehow managed to survive in a hostile world and keep B alive and now he was helping to heal the rift between Brian and B. Sammy had not even given up his protection of B when they had been separated. B had been taken into a lab for experiments where as Sammy, a sixteen year old, had been locked up in a prison cell.
“I haven’t done much…” Sammy murmured.
“You kept B alive.”
“Of course I did. He’s my little brother.”
The warning klaxon that suddenly erupted and filled the room sent both of them flying to their feet in a rush of alarm. Brian froze and felt an odd cold, soaking wall of icy water rushing through his stomach in panic. He recognised the sound that screamed from the corridors. A warning alarm that meant only one thing; they were under attack.
“What’s going on?” Brian whispered, even though he knew Sammy would have no larger idea than Brian himself did.
Sammy’s voice shook as he spoke. “I-I don’t know… This has only happened once before!” He stared at Brian with read in his pale face. “We’re under attack.”
Brian pulled a handgun from a drawer in a desk and made sure it was charged and ready. He had no idea if there was a true threat or only a warning but he intended to be prepared.
“We have to find Darren,” Sammy ordered as Brian tossed him the spare gun.
Brian nodded, but something else was burrowing into his mind, destroying the secure knowledge of safety and security. “Where’s B?”
Sammy stopped mid step as he was heading for the door. He turned to Brian and gulped. “He was in my room but he said he was going for a walk…”
“We have to find him!” Brian said as he strode through the door and into the grim rocky corridor where the alarm was almost at a deafening volume. If they were being attacked then B would not be safe.
“Wait!” Sammy cried. “He’s not stupid, he will have gone to look for someone who knows what’s happening. He’s probably with Nick or Darren. We have to go see them so that we know what’s happening.”
Brian gritted his teeth to prevent and outburst from escaping. He could not help but worry when the air was saturated with the wail of the alarm He slowly nodded, knowing that Sammy was right. The alarm was bound to have frightened B and he would have returned to find someone…
Sammy grabbed his arm and both of them took to running down the corridor. As soon as they turned the corner they found a rush of nervous people hurrying forward with anxious eyes and steps.
“Keep moving!” a voice called form the back.
“AJ!” Brian cried in relief, but he was surprised at how much his voice was cracking. This was no drill, no accidental alarm set off… this was real.
“AJ, what’s going on?” Sammy asked.
AJ was at the back of the crowd with his daughter’s hand in his own. His face was a ghastly mixture of grey and dirty white tension. He turned towards them, but his face remained grim. “Three sentries outside were killed and we believe that one of the entrances has been forced open. I have to get these people down to the caverns below so that they can be out of the way if there is any fighting,” AJ explained, gesturing to the people before him who consisted of rescued villagers and family members of some of the resistance fighters. “You two better go help! Bri, you gotta find B! They might be after him!”
“He’s not with you?” Brian asked faintly as his eyes desperately searched amongst the crowd.
AJ saw Brian’s horror but regretfully shook his head. “I haven’t seen him all morning.”
“Oh God…” Brian whispered, his legs were suddenly trembling as he realised something so precious could be lost.
Sammy grabbed his arms. “Dad, don’t worry. I’m sure he’s with the others. Come on, we have to hurry.”
Brian nodded and heard AJ give a quick ‘good luck’ before he and Sammy were running down the corridor again, dodging around clusters of civilians. Brian scrutinised every face in every group but there was no sign of B’s childish face. The only good point was that Sammy was relieved of his fiancée’s well being when he saw her being herded towards the security caverns by some of the resistance members. Of B though there was nothing.
The crowds soon thinned and he was feeling sicker with every passing moment. His legs were becoming heavier and heavier so that he could hardly move, his mind dreading that awful news would be awaiting him the second he met Darren.
Sammy was a little calmer but Brian could see an urgent spring within his steps and saw the blue eyes travelling about the corridors like Brian’s were. Every corner they turned they would both anxiously stare about but B was nowhere.
“He should be down here,” Brian whispered as he saw one of the rapidly dwindling civilians hurrying to catch up with the others. “All non essentials are supposed to go to the secure caverns below! B knows that! Why isn’t he here?” He was rambling desperately.
“He’ll be with the others,” Sammy said, bus his voice shook.
“He shouldn’t,” Brian croaked. “It’s dangerous.”
They dashed up one of the upward sloping corridors that led to the main section and Brian’s stomach was growing tighter and tighter as cramp joined with aching, cold worry to form one intense pain that threatened to pull him to his knees any moment.
B… Where was he?
He stopped as he suddenly heard laser fire whining in high pitched tones through the air and instinctively himself and Sammy pressed themselves up against the tunnel walls. Brian fumbled with his own weapon, his fingers working uselessly slow as they shook. He found the correct setting and then slowly followed Sammy as they crept closer towards the bend where the sounds were coming from.
Suddenly a man in a dark uniform appeared. He leapt about the corner intending to use it as a shield as laser fire was aimed at him. Sammy quickly raised his own weapon and the mans seemed to sense his presence and sun around again but he only had time to widen his eyes in surprise before the beam form Sammy’s weapon had pierced his chest.
“Who’s there?” a familiar voice called from the corner.
“It’s us Nick!” Brian cried as he dashed forward to stare at the fallen Gerai. Blood was bubbling from a hole in the chest but at least he was dead and no longer suffering. Brian may have hated the Gerai but he had seen men slowly fading and dying in waves of agony as the wound consumed them. He had seen it too many times to ever wish it upon any human being, even if the Gerai were far from that definition.
Nick’s head suddenly appeared from the corner and his eyes widened in relief. “Thank God! I was wondering where you two were! A small group of Gerai killed our sentries and broke in! Are there any down there?” He gestured to the corridor Sammy and Brian had just used.
Brian numbly shook his head, sweat plastering covering every part of him as he realised the danger that had suddenly arrived to swoop them all up in a clinging, consuming grasp.
“Good,” Nick replied as he crossed to a panel set into one of the walls. “I’m sealing it off to protect everyone down there. This is the only way in.”
Brian watched as he keyed in a code and then there was a whirring noise as a great metal door began to slide down to seal the tunnel away. Similar doors were used in several areas of the base to contain any hostile attackers or problems.
Brian wiped his damp forehead on his sleeve as he checked the settings upon his gun. “Nick,” he said desperately. “Sammy and I don’t know where B is. We didn’t see him on our way up!” He was shaking at the thought of an invasion inside the base. He knew exactly what they were looking for.
Nick’s face turned pale and Brian knew in one wave of anguish that he too had no idea of B’s whereabouts. “Nick, we have to find him,” Brian whispered. “He could be in trouble!”
“Do you think he’s with Darren?” Sammy asked urgently as he stared about the corridor, watching in case anymore Gerai were nearby.
“We better check before we go looking for him. We have to get this threat contained!” Nick said looking down at the dead Gerai on the ground.
Brian gulped and wrenched his eyes away from the sight, his mind screaming at him for killing another, but sometimes acts of brutality were necessary for survival. “How many?” he asked.
“Very few,” Nick said. “But they separated to make it more difficult to find them. I followed this one down here. All the others are on the main level.”
“Let’s go then. We’ll seal the security doors on the way up,” Sammy said.
Brian felt his eyes growing heavy as splashes of tears threatened to spill out his despair and fear any moment. His feet were heavy, so heavy that he could not walk without pain splitting through his knees. He wanted to find B, but how could he in this place? The base was a giant maze and it was easy to hide in. The Gerai could be anywhere and so could B…
Nick led the way through the corridors, all three of them trod agonisingly slowly and carefully, watching for Gerai and making sure each section was clear before locking down the security doors.
Each second lasted an hour and each empty corridor only brought Brian trembling even closer towards the teetering edge that awaited him. He could see Sammy beside him, the blonde’s hair plastered to his forehead and his eyes anxious and watchful. Both of them feared the same thing.
Brian watched the rocky walls, wondering how they seemed to be creeping closer towards him each moment he spent wandering through them. He could feel the weight pressing down. If the Gerai set off an explosion, it could bring half of a cavern crumbling in upon them.
“Dad are you okay?” Sammy whispered, touching a hand lightly against his shoulder causing him to jump.
Before Brian could lie to give a positive response he heard the dull explosion ahead of them and a cry was rupturing from his dry, broken lips.
“Get down!” Nick cried as he flung himself to the ground.
Brian was quick to follow, trembling as he waited for the rocks to rain down upon him like a shower of hard, crushing death. He was gasping, the heat of his own paranoid body too much for him as he curled himself up.
When his breath of life was not snatched away by the dust and crumbles of falling rock he raised his head to see that Nick was creeping forward again with his gun ready. He turned and motioned for them to follow him.
Brian turned his pale and blotched stained face to see Sammy watching him in concern. “This is not the time to be claustrophobic,” he whispered gently. “We have to help the others and BB.”
Brian nodded and took several deep breaths while he clenched his hands tightly. “I’m okay,” he breathed. “Let’s go.” There was no choice but to go on. He either pressed on or became a terrified fool trapped in a psychological world of irrational fears that would be only too eager to rush in and sear his soul with insanity.
He clambered carefully to his feet and hurried silently forward to catch up with Nick. He could see smoke gushing from ahead and his breathing grew shallower as he thought of the fire he had saved B from.
Nick tried to peer around a corner but the second he did he found laser fire greeting him and quickly pressed back against the wall juts in time. “Three of them!” he hissed. “They’ve blown out one of our science labs with something!” He frowned as he suddenly realised how ghost like Brian’s colour had become.
“I’m fine!” Brian insisted.
“You look like you’re gonna have a panic attack,” Nick whispered anxiously.
“Nick, he’s claustrophobic! He’s normally fine but it doesn’t help when we’re being attacked!” Sammy said.
“I’ll be okay! I’ll be fine once we get out of these narrow corridors,” Brian replied, knowing that the main section of the base was much more pleasant to his mind than these cramped tunnels.
Nick nodded and was about to say something when a dark haired head suddenly peered from around the corner. Quicker than anything Sammy and Nick were both firing, but the Gerai easily retreated.
“We’ll rush them!” Nick said. “Ready?”
Brian checked his weapon again and nodded as he took another long breath. Nick counted to three quietly before all three of them sprang around the corner firing.
Brian trembled as he awaited a laser blast to tear open his chest but nothing came and he realised that they had successfully hit all three Gerai but Nick was hissing in pain and curing under his breath.
“Let me see,” Sammy insisted as he took Nick’s arm which was now covered in burnt fabric and flesh. “It’s not too bad.”
“But it damn well hurts!”
“Sammy and I can go on,” Brian said as he stared at his friend in concern.
Nick shook his head. “No, we’re almost there now.”
Sammy now led the way and Brian took up the rear to keep Nick in the middle. He tried not to think about being unable to breathe when buried or the narrow corridors as they slowly and nervously hurried up the slope that led to the main level of the base. He breathed in relief, his chest suddenly much less tighter as the corridors widened.
But ahead there were sounds that again made his stomach contort and squeeze in upon itself to try and stop the fear from flooding it and filling it like a swollen balloon. High pitched whines of furious lasers were exploding in the distance, lots of them.
“They need help,” Sammy whispered. “Hurry.”
All three of them checked their weapons and Brian found his mind reciting a prayer to God, praying for Him to keep them safe and praying that B would be with Darren, alive and safe.
“We have to be careful,” Nick said as he cradled his burn hand close. “We don’t want to get caught in the cross fire.”
“But we have to help them!” Brian blurted out. He did not know how much he could stand waiting here not knowing what was happening.
“Dad,” Sammy said gently. “I’m worried about B as well and God knows I want to know if he’s okay, but we have to be careful.”
Brian could see the despair in the blue, wet eyes and he felt a little ashamed at his own reactions. Sammy was as close, if not closer, to B than Brian was. He would no doubt be screaming inside at not knowing about his brother’s whereabouts.
Nick turned towards them. “Maybe we could…” he trailed off as he raised his head in curiosity as the laser fire ground to a sudden halt. “It’s stopped,” he whispered.
Brian counted the beats of his heart, expecting the cacophony to begin again any moment but it remained eerily silent. Sammy gently placed a hand on his own as both of them crouched in the dull corridor, each hoping that the silence was a good sound.
Nick took a deep breath after a few moments. “We better go see what’s going on… Be careful though.”
Sammy slowly began to lead the way and Brian could feel his heart hammering hard in his tight, cold chest. The questions whirled about his mind incessantly wondering if the Gerai had triumphed… but they couldn’t have, could they?
Sammy turned to stare at him and Brian saw his own fear mirrored there. Slowly Sammy gripped his gun and then began to head along the side corridor to the main level. He walked slowly and Brian could see that his legs had turned as heavy as Brian’s.
“I hear voices,” Nick whispered suddenly.
Brian froze for a moment and sure enough he could make out the murmur of voices. His brow furrowed for a moment and then he smiled in relief. “It’s Darren!”
He heard the sigh of relief from Darren and then the three of them were running. The voices grew louder and Brian grinned as he found he could make out other familiar voices. As they whirled around the corner they all broke out into smiles as they saw members of the resistance escorting Gerai prisoners to the prison cells.
“Hey guys,” one of them greeted. “It’s all clear now up here. Have you seen anymore?”
“We shot four lower down but the lower places are clear and sealed,” Sammy said as he placed his gun in his pocket. “Is Darren in there?” He gestured to the door on the left where more voices could be heard.
The guy nodded. “It took us a while, but there weren’t many at all. I think they were hoping the surprise element would be enough to catch us but it’s lucky we had already increased our security. We’ve looked everywhere up here but there doesn’t seem to be anybody else. We need to do a few more checks though before we let everyone back up.” He smiled at them all and then proceeded to push his prisoner away.
“It’s over now,” Sammy whispered to Brian.
Brian smiled and closed his eyes in relief. He passed a hand over his had, wiping away the dribbles of sweat that had collected there. He thought of B and then passed into the room.
Darren was seated at a table reviewing a report and talking with a man and a woman Brian recognised as resistance members. He stared about him wildly and felt something thick and suffocating rippling down his throat as he realised B was not there.
“Brian?” Darren cried in relief. “Are you all okay? And B as well?”
Brian felt sick. A hard lump sunk through his body filling him with pain. “He’s not with you?” he gasped.
“He’s not in the security caverns either!” Sammy said as he too saw that his brother was not there. “We thought he was with you!”
Darren’s face had turned pale in stark contrast to his dark hair. He rose to his fete and turned to his companions. “Sal, Ryan, I need you to scout around for B!”
Sal turned to him, a helpless look on her face. “But we looked everywhere for Gerai and we never saw him or anybody! They’re all in the security caverns!”
“But he’s not there!” Brian screamed frantically.
“Bri!” Nick said as he took Brian’s shoulder with his good hand. “We’ll find him! We won’t let them get away with him!”
Brian looked up and saw that Sammy’s tears had finally got the better of him as well. He watched as he slumped into a chair, his head held in his hands.
“Bri, you sit down and let Sal and Ryan look,” Darren said quickly. “I’ll get a team to check the surface for Gerai. Ryan, you tell Kyle and Josh to check the other entrances! The Gerai might have snuck B out of one of them.”
“Oh God…” Brian murmured. This couldn’t be happening… The moment he had been dreading these past few days had come as he heard Darren making plans. “B…”
He lowered his head as tears began to fall. His trembling hands would not be still as covered his face.
He felt warm hands on his shoulders and he leaned back into Sammy’s embrace, hearing the slight sniffles that betrayed his older son’s anguish.
“They’ll find him dad,” Sammy whispered. “They will…”
“And if they don’t?” Brian sobbed. He suddenly had a vision of B being pinned to a table by Gerai officers and then he was being strapped while they pulled malicious medical equipment to probe the chip in his arm. He gasped as he heard the screams of pain in his mind.
Why had he shouted at him? Why had he driven him away? Why had B not stayed in his room? Brian was supposed to be looking after him.
He wanted to fall to his hands and knees as he heard Darren screaming frantic orders to anybody in the corridor. Sammy wrapped his arms about him tightly, keeping what was left of their family close together.
“They’ll find him, they’ll find him,” Sammy whispered over and over again. “They’ll find him.”
“Why wasn’t he with the others?” Brian said faintly.
He saw Sal and Ryan return after what felt like hours of foreboding and the tears only flowed even more as he saw them shake their heads.
Everything was caving in and it was like a twisted dream where nightmarish shapes mingled to form one hideous scenario. He could hardly breathe through sobbing and choking as images of the Gerai spun about his mind. Nick was trying to comfort him in vain and there was Sammy screaming desperately at Darren to search more, but Brian could not even find his voice as he sat motionlessly at the table, eyes red and bloated from painful tears. It was over. He’d lost B.
“We still have to wait for the search parties on the surface to get back!” Darren said. “It’s not over yet!”
“Darren, they’ve taken him!” Brian screeched. He stood up and turned his back away from the others. The room had now rapidly filled up as reports on the Gerai were exchanged and people checked and rechecked the damage that had been caused. His eyes stared about the room vaguely, wishing to God to let B appear.
And then suddenly he was there.
He was there walking into the room casually as if nothing had happened. A son bubbled from Brian’s mouth.
‘Thank you.’
“B!” Brian screamed as he saw the boy staring about the room, obviously looking for someone he recognised as a friend. “B!”
B suddenly caught sight of him and his eyes lit up with a happy smile. “Dad, you’re okay!” he cried happily as he rushed forward eagerly.
Brian angrily caught him by the shoulders. His entire body was trembling and his eyes were still wet with the tears that had dampened his cheeks. “B, where the hell where you?” he screamed. “We were looking everywhere! Why weren’t you down with AJ and the others!” The sobs were in his voice and then suddenly he was dragging B into a tight embrace, gripping him so hard and whispering a prayer in his mind. He pulled away and then grabbed B’s wrists. “Where were you? I thought you were dead!” he cried.
B’s eyes flickered in a slight fear at the shouted words, but Brian barely saw anything through a cloud of thick tears and worry that had burned every part of him. All he could feel was anger that mingled with desperate, crying relief to form a rippling mixture of the two held together by sickening tears of concern. B knew the drill for an attack, he knew he should have been with the others. B knew that Brian would be worried!
“I-I was in the…” B stammered, his words swept away by the flood of emotions his father was pouring out to him. He gulped and tried to stare behind Brian at Sammy, but Brian side stepped him to prevent him from leaving.
His stomach was still twisting itself in nervous pain, still numb after the dread that had billowed there before. “I was worried to death! What if you had been caught? There was Gerai here!” He could hear the desperate scream in his voice and he gripped B’s shoulders harder to reassure himself that he was alive and not snatched by Gerai, leaving Brian with only a wistful imagination.
“I was in the lower caverns!” B spluttered finally as he began to shake himself. “I heard the alarm and then heard people coming so I hid! I didn’t know what else to do!” He was beginning to turn limp and Brian could feel his shivers in his own hands.
Brian felt cold at the words. The lower caverns were easily reached from the main entrances besides that, they were dangerous. B had almost fallen to his death down there once. He was gasping as he hung his head and his fingers dug tighter into B’s arms until the skin began to turn red with a swelling bruise.
His hands were tight and damp with dribbled perspiration.. .something between a sod and a scream ruptured from his mouth. “What the hell where you thinking?” he cried. “It’s dangerous down there! You could have been killed! You know you almost fell once!” The tears were running freely. “How could you be so careless?” He remembered climbing down a cliff after B had fallen once. “You’re not supposed to be down there!”
B tried to mutter a reply but was stopped when a sob broke form his own mouth. His face was pale and his eyes rapidly growing dark and red. “I-I…”
“The important part is that you’re okay,” Sammy whispered as he suddenly wrapped his arms about his brother, tears falling freely from his own eyes as he kissed B on the head.
B suddenly gave a sob. “I’m sorry!” he wailed. “I didn’t know what to do!”
“It was an attack B!” Brian screamed. “If a bomb had have gone off or anything you could have been buried!” He could suddenly feel the oppressing weight of rubble and life sucking death crushing in upon him and he gasped in pain to imagine B going through the same thing. “Those caverns are unstable! One blow and they could collapse! Is that what you wanted?”
“Dad!” Sammy snapped as B began to cry even harder, frightened at the anger directed at him.
“He could have died!” Brian yelled, his voice spluttering through a river of tears.
“Bri, calm down!” Darren said as he gripped Brian’s shoulders. “You’re upset and I know you were worried, but B is okay! No one’s going to take him and nothing is going to hurt him!”
Brian began to cry in relief, the sobs shaking his body. It had truly felt like he had lost him and the worst part was knowing that if they had have taken him then he would have been unable to do anything but run around like a helpless old man. He remembered the feeling in the burning village, running and hoping that somehow he would find him but what if he had searched everywhere and found nothing? If they ever took him…
He wiped his face from tears even though a sob still echoed in his empty stomach. “B, I was so worried! If anything had have happened to you…” He reached out towards B in Sammy’s arms.
For a brief second B raised his head and allowed Brian to see the gleaming tears that ran like rivers from terrified and innocence eyes that filled with shame and dejection. He looked at Brian’s hands and then was pushing Sammy away, but he did not go to Brian.
B was sobbing and half crumpled as he ran for the door, ignoring Brian’s pursuing pleas. “B!” he cried.
“What did you do that for?” Sammy cried. “He was sacred during the attack! It wasn’t his fault!”
“Sammy, he was worried!” Nick replied. “We all were! You saw him, he was almost dying because he was so scared about B! And he’s right! B should not have been in those caves! He could have died! It doesn’t take a lot for those walls down there to crumble!”
Brian gave another sob as he fell into a chair. That was what frightened him the most. The thought of B going through what Brian had experienced. Blinding pain and dusty darkness that threatened to choke you at any moment. Incessant fear of having every bone broken and smashed like china while your thoughts cried out for help… help that you knew was never coming.
And then there was the Gerai… If they got that virus… And what if B was subjected to it? And then there was the experiments and…
He covered his face in his hands.
“Bri, calm down,” Nick’s voice soothed while hands rested on his shoulder. “He’s all right…”
Brian raised his head and saw Sammy’s wet eyes watching him. His outburst had affected everyone, but Sammy was right. Brian had shouted at B again and this time he had driven him away with tears on his face.
“I was scared…” Brian whispered. “I need to find him…” He tried to stand but something heavy in his legs dragged him down again.
“No,” Sammy replied. “I’ll catch him and talk to him.”
Brian clasped his damp hair with a tense hand. “He’ll hate me for this,” he whispered quietly as he realised what he had done. He had been unable to control his fearful anger and now look what he had done.
Tears on B’s face… red, swollen eyes that did not understand the anger, love and worry that had been tangled so tightly together. And B would never understand now how much Brian cared about him.