CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT - CHOOSE
“Okay,” Darren said in a very business like voice. “We’re now certain that B used the time machine and Joe also found that he went to the year 2003. The problem is that B encrypted the readouts before he used it to stop his movements from being traced exactly. This means we can’t send anyone to the exact time and place where B arrived to head him off. Not unless we’re exceedingly lucky. The good thing is that the Gerai won’t have been able to either.”
But time was running out. Brian could feel it, even though the past was not going anywhere. The Gerai still possessed a time bracelet now. He could skip all over the place…
His head was hurting again. He had begun to feel much better since his awakening, despite the permanent crinkling pain that kept bubbling up like an explosion within him. He was aware of his loss at every moment by the raw, gaping hole that gouged his insides. After forty-eight hours though, at least the unease and disorientation from his long sleep was beginning to disappear. He had been confined to the medical centre for those hours but finally he was invited to a meeting with Darren and Nick to discuss what the next step was.
Brian’s hands were moist with nervous perspiration as he clung to his seat. At last he was doing something instead of being like some weak and hopeless shade.
Darren stared at them both to make sure that they were listening and understanding the situation. “We may not know exactly when or where B went, but we can make a pretty good estimate. Someone will have to find him though in that time.”
For a moment his deep brown eyes rested upon Brian’s and Brian stared hard at him, daring him to tell Brian that he would not be that person who went after B.
He wanted to remain calm. He knew that Darren was watching him for any signs of tiredness and he did not want to give the older man an excuse to make Brian stay where he was. However he could not stop a deadening weight from hitting his stomach whenever he thought about B or Sammy. He just wanted them back home and safe with him.
“What about Jonathan?” Nick asked suddenly as he leant forwards. “He’s still going to be chasing B in that time.”
Brian closed his eyes and cursed his own stupid self. He had sensed something dark and malevolent about Jonathan from the beginning. There had always been a gleam in his eyes that made Brian dislike him. Since awakening he had ran over his painful fight with Jonathan in his head over and over again, blaming himself for not being strong enough to stop him. He should have fought harder, he should have retaliated, he should have done something…
“We just have to hope that B can give him the run around until we find him,” Darren said slowly. “B’s a fighter.”
“But he’s stuck in a time he knows nothing about!” Brian cried. “He’s never even seen that time before!” He could see B wandering the streets and watching with wild eyes while the cars zoomed about the roads. He knew nothing…
“He knows someone,” Nick said softly, his brow creased as he thought hard. He looked up at Brian. “You. He knows you. That’s who he’ll look for! That’s why he chose that time! It’s less than a year since the Brian in that time met him! He’ll look after him until we find him!” Nick beamed, content that B would be safe.
It was then that Brian felt something wriggling inside of him, like a vile worm or a snickering snake of hatred. His insides were burning and writhing as if they were alive and ready to pounce upon and menace his alter ego. He could not think about it, B with another Brian, without feeling such an overpowering surge of malevolence and sickening jealousy. He could suddenly see B crying into his own arms, only he was watching from a distance because it was not him with B but some impostor who looked identical. He shuddered slightly, trying to rid himself of nausea and flaming envy.
“He’s a smart kid,” Darren replied. “You’re probably right, Nick.”
Brian’s hands were suddenly cold and clammy. He curled his fingers and dug his stubby nails into the palms of his hands while giving nothing to the conversation now but moody silence.
Nick paused for a moment. “But what about Sammy? We still don’t know where he is.” He looked dismal as he leaned his head into his hand.
“We soon will,” Darren replied with a triumphant smile. “The sentries spotted a group of Gerai heading back towards their base. I’ve given the go-ahead for them to start searching the local area in case something turns up and they’re going to try and follow these Gerai. Hopefully they’ll have Sammy and the others with them.”
Brian’s uneasy mind now shifted from one nightmarish image to another. He was no longer thinking of B calling somebody else ‘dad’, but imagining Sammy in the hands of the brutal Gerai. It had been three days now since his disappearance. They could murder him… Suddenly he was seeing that blond hair splattered with blood and icy grey lips that could not even whisper for help anymore. Kevin’s strength was suddenly drained as his glassy eyes stared out of a ghost lit face and then AJ was sprawled upon his back, blood dribbling from a corner of his mouth.
“How… How do we know that they’re… safe?” Brian asked eventually, his voice quiet and yet ringing as the terrifying thought that had been lurking within all of their minds was suddenly unleashed.
The heavy silence was bruising all of them before Darren slowly shook his head. “They won’t,” he said softly. “Or they wouldn’t kill all of them.”
“You sound awful certain of that,” Brian said, his eyes glaring hard at Darren’s.
Darren seemed to be collecting his thoughts together for a minute or so before he slowly began to speak, choosing his words carefully. “The Gerai have been kidnapping people for a while. A nearby resistance base claims that several of its members have been missing.”
“The Gerai could just be picking them off one by one!” Brian snapped. He did not want to be burdened with the deceiving friend of false hope. He did not want to believe with all his heart that Sammy was okay only to find that he was… The pain would be too much. It would tear him apart and he was so fragile now after years of torture.
“I don’t think they are,” Darren contradicted. “I think they are gathering prisoners to work for them or they could be planning a barter. We have many of their comrades in prisons. When we were attacked a few days ago, a prison was broke into at the time. Some people have already heard about it no doubt. No one escaped but they were trying to free people. They would either try to blackmail us or they would simply be using our people to do their work for them.” He looked up at Brian, meeting his gaze. “Like they forced you to work in their mines.”
The horrific images crumpling his mind were now so vivid and painful that it pummelled his head with a painful thump that he had not felt since Nick had prescribed him various medicines. His experiences in the Gerai mines still haunted him. He could hear the screams as the Gerai punished those who were too weak too work and smell the stale sweat and utter hopelessness in the air. Now suddenly he could see Sammy crawling around in the dark trying to give orders to frightened workers to try and keep them alive. The tunnel was darkening though as the roof of the tunnel they were working in began to crumble and fall…
Brian jerked slightly as he felt a hand upon his shoulder and spun round to stare at Nick wildly. He had almost expected to see a Gerai there or see the hand of a dying man as he clasped onto Brian in the vain hope that he could somehow save him.
“Are you okay? Your mind suddenly just went wandering,” Nick said in concern.
Brian nodded while he sucked in a deep breath. “I’m okay. Just… distracted.”
“Bri, are you sure you’re well enough?” Darren asked. “You haven’t been awake for long and you should be resting. Nick said - ”
“I’m fine,” Brian interrupted. “I’m worried about them, that’s all. I can’t help it.”
“So what are we going to do? We’re all worried about what’s going to happen, the whole base is talking about this,” Nick said to Darren. “I think we’ll all feel better once we have B back and find out what the Gerai are up to. We can’t wait any longer waiting for the Gerai to make the first move. We have to go in there.”
Brian leaned further forward in his seat. He needed action to prevent his mind from wandering to Sammy and the thought of him working for the Gerai. He knew what those monsters were like. They would push a man to the brink of death and laugh as they saw his eyes bulge in fright.
“We have to get B,” Darren replied. “We can’t let Jonathan get that virus.”
‘And Sammy?’ Brian thought miserably.
“And what about the others?” Nick asked. “We need Sammy, Kevin, Aj and Carl. They were pretty important members of this base. Besides, I don’t want to think of any of our people being held by the Gerai.” Nick’s face was pale and his hair was matted and dull after running his hands through it so many times. Brian knew how he felt. His own gut was trembling insides of him in anxiety for his friends and Nick would be feeling the same. He had known them all longer than Brian had…
He wished that thought had not wandered into his head the moment his mind voiced it. He remembered B’s reaction to him. He had hated Brian because he had never been there when he was a kid. The feeling was cold and icy. No wonder B resented him so much. His father was supposed to be protecting him and instead Brian had been slaving away for the Gerai. He had been risking his life for them instead of for his own family.
Darren was murmuring something about a rescue mission and an attack team to be sent to the Gerai base, but Brian was hardly hearing anything anymore. The burning hot pain that had once marked the loss in his heart was now suddenly cold. He was freezing with numbness. B had not run away because he, Brian, was hurt. No, B had seen it as an opportunity to escape from a world and life which he so desperately hated. He hated his life because Brian had not been a part of it.
Suddenly he could see B again, only this time he was remembering the expression that had been on his face when Brian had found him after the Gerai had infiltrated the base. He could hear his own voice yelling at B in angry relief as the tears slid down his face. He could feel the fear that had bubbled at the thought of losing him. He had yelled at him and B had looked so frightened as he’d shrank back from his father’s rage with red eyes. ‘He hates me.’ B had not wanted to be shouted at. He had been scared during the attack and Brian had made it worse…
B was in 2003 now and Brian did a mental calculation. It would be about a year since B had met the Brian from the past. That’s where he had gone. He shuddered again, a quivering wave of hatred washing over him so deep that he felt like screaming and smashing the room about him.
“What do you think Bri?” a voice asked suddenly.
Brian’s head snapped around and he gazed about him. He had almost forgotten that he was in Darren’s office instead of the black realm of hatred, envy and pain that had been trying to swallow him whole. “What was that Nick?” he asked.
He saw Nick and Darren exchange a knowing glance between them and he frowned in dislike at their silent conversation. He knew what they were thinking. They were thinking that he was still tired and distant because of the coma. Brian admitted that at first it had been disorientating to leave the medical centre but he reasoned that after sleeping straight for several days that it was time that he walked about. He still felt a little weak and dizzy maybe, but he was ready to fight. “What?” he snapped as he stared at them both.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep and recov - ” Darren began.
“I am fine!” Brian cried. “Can you blame me for feeling a little thoughtful at the moment? My best friends and family are lost out there!” He found that he had risen from his seat, his clammy hands pressing face down upon the table. His stomach was constricting within him and he wanted to cry. He could see that eerie, strange, younger version of himself holding B and taking care of him. It shouldn’t be him though, it should be himself from B’s own time!
“Bri.” Nick softly placed a restraining hand upon Brian’s arm. “We were just talking about who will do what and we thought that maybe you should stay - ”
“No!” Brian cried. “How can you suggest that I stay here and wait? I want to help! I want to feel like I’m doing something for my family!” His voice was rising now in desperation. He could not clear the images from his mind. Sammy was dying in a mine. B had found a new father. He lowered his head as he felt his eyes grow heavy and then he was slumping back into his seat with a hand over his face. He wanted to do nothing more than to break down and cry. Even though a human knows that tears can never help, they always seem to let them fall.
Nick’s arms were about him, silently holding him and supporting him. “I want to help,” Brian begged. “Please…”
He heard Darren sigh and he slowly opened his eyes to stare at the older man, willing him to allow Brian to help out. Eventually Darren nodded. “On one condition,” he said. “That Nick passes you as fit and well. I don’t want you collapsing ill or anything.”
Brian smiled and pulled away from Nick, noticing a smile upon his friend’s lips. He nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“The question is,” Darren said, “is who you want to go to first.”
Brian froze. The coldness was returning again. “What do you mean?” he whispered, his lips barely moving.
Darren paused for a moment and then carried on, his voice careful and controlled. “Bri, you can’t help both of them. You have to go to one first and then to the other.”
“Are you asking me to choose between them?”
Darren paused for a moment. “No,” he said finally, although he did not sound too convinced. “No, but you have to choose who you want to personally help.”
“Both,” Brian replied, his voice was quiet and shaking. He could see two doors before him and behind both of them he could hear the screams of B and Sammy, each crying for help.
But B wouldn’t be crying for help because he would have a brand new father to take care of him… ‘How could he?’ He had tried so hard to please him and now B ran away to find someone he liked better.
“Bri, both these operations need to be done as soon as possible. Nick and I think it best if we only send one person after B as there is only one Gerai there and we don’t want to attract attention or let Jonathan know we’re after him. It’s also a lot simpler to send just one. While that person is finding B, I’ll dispatch the team to the Gerai base to rescue the others.” Darren was staring at him, his brown eyes as composed as ever. “You have to pick.”
“You can’t make me choose between them!” Brian’s voice cracked and wobbled with the water of tears. “That’s not fair!” He was on his feet away, ready to scream at Darren if he had to. He couldn’t choose…
“Bri! Take it easy!” Nick said, leaping up beside him. “Look, you’ll go after one and we’ll get the other. You trust us don’t you?”
Brian stared at him and gulped as his throat grew thicker. “Of course I do, but I want to - ”
“Bri,” Darren interjected. “I would never make you choose, but you want to help and you either go on a team or stay.”
Brian stared up at the ceiling as if he could somehow find an answer for this problem. He could see both in his mind. Jonathan was hunting B with an evil cackle burning upon his lips and Sammy and Kevin were dripping with sweat and dying of thirst in dusty mines. He closed his eyes as if he could somehow stop all of this from happening. ‘Just stop.’
“Maybe there is another way,” Nick said. “Bri could go after B and then we could program a time bracelet so that when he comes back, he’s in time to go with the team to get Sammy and the others.”
Brian looked back at Nick, hope glimmering slightly at last. Darren thought for a moment. “But we don’t know if we can make a calculation that precise. If Bri’s not back in time then we’d have to go without him.”
“Then I’ll wait for him and take him out to meet the team if I have to!” Nick replied determinedly. “We’d need all the help we can get so there’s no problem with sending two teams.” He folded his arms.
Brian’s head was spinning. He felt dizzy and reached back to clutch the arms of his seat. He could still see them… One suffering and one causing Brian to suffer with rejection.
“Okay,” Darren said finally. “As long as Brian’s back within a few hours of the team leaving. If he’s back before they go then great, if not then I’ll only let him go if he’s a few hours behind. The Gerai might have spies on us by then.”
There was no guarantee he’d be there for Sammy. There was no guarantee that he could help him, but could he truly leave B when the boy thought that he didn’t care about him? He could never let anybody else go but himself…
“Is that okay Bri?”
He felt sick. The room was turning faster and faster while it filled with choking heat that seized his throat and forced the air from his lungs. He could see them either side of him and he was being asked to pick… He was being asked to pick B over Sammy.
His hands curled into fists and he could not speak. He thought of B in his new time and once again the tears were looming. He gulped and closed his eyes slowly as he lowered his head and nodded. The decision had been made. He had chosen one over the other. He was going after B, the one who hated him.
‘Sammy… I’m sorry…’