CHAPTER THIRTEEN - MEMORY LOSS
B lie in a protective foetal position upon the table of his bed with a blanket clasped tightly to his trembling body. The fever seemed to have dissipated slightly, but he had been left feeling deathly cold. His skin was a pale shade of unnatural grey and rivulets of icy cold seemed to trickle throughout his body to make him shudder.
He felt weak and he kept his eyes tightly closed so that the room would stop spinning about him. It did not seem to be working very well. The darkness which he now inhabited seemed to mingle about him and assault his dizzy mind with a montage of colours that whirled in his sight and made him feel just as bad as he had been before.
He may have been cold, but his head still seemed to think it was too hot. He could feel the heat slowly filling his mind and making his skull expand until he was almost frightened that it would pop.
Marlowe had untied him a few hours ago and now he was sat in front of a computer screen with a clipboard in his hand. He had attached cold, metal discs to B’s head, arms and even on his chest beneath his shirt so that he could monitor his progress. The discs seemed to remotely send information to the computer.
B had refused to speak to him again and Marlowe had not yet pushed him to talk. B had cried to himself for hours after Sammy had been dragged away. He had been looking forward to being back with him and now Sammy had been captured. He did not even know what they were doing to him. What if Marlowe started doing his experiments on Sammy as well? B did not want his adored brother to go through what B had.
Marlowe suddenly turned on his chair towards B. “B, I want you to talk to me,” e ordered bluntly.
B found his eyes drawn to the rabbit. It was lying down and not moving anymore. Its suffering appeared to be over. B had a feeling that his was about to get worse. He rubbed his eyes for a moment and then raised his head to look at Marlowe.
“About what?” he whispered hating himself for cooperating. He did not want to work for this man. He did not want to be a lab rat, but he had no choice anymore.
Marlowe smiled at him as if they were friends. “Tell me about your brother?” he said shortly.
B looked puzzled. Sammy? What did he want to know about him for? His heart suddenly lurched sickeningly within his chest and for a moment the room spun again. He stared at Marlowe in horror. “Y-you’re not going to sue him for experiments are you?” he asked, his voice begging him to say no.
Marlowe burst into a fit of hideous cackles. B shrunk himself into a ball at the voice and gave a slight sob as he buried his face in his sleeve. His nails dug into the palms of his hands and his body grew even colder until he felt as if parts of him were numbing and falling away.
“Don’t!” B begged, his voice barely audible when his face was buried. “Please!”
Marlowe’s laughter abruptly stopped and b waited silently, expecting a sharp slap because he had looked away from the scientist. Marlowe did not like it when B looked away from him. Instead there was a hand on his arm.
“I won’t, unless you make me,” he whispered.
His voice was so nice and friendly. It was the voice that little children loved, but the words were chilling and heartless. B raised his head and nodded in understanding. He sniffed slightly and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
“I just want you to answer some questions about him. It’s a little bit of research on people close to you. Tell me, your brother. What does he look like?” Marlowe had seated himself back down in his chair and was awaiting B’s answer with interest.
B stared at him. “You’ve met him, you tell me,” he grumbled.
Marlowe stared at him and then slowly and deliberately picked up a syringe from his desk. “Tell me,” he whispered.
B’s eyes were mesmerised by the needle for a moment as the light played upon it’s dangerous point. “Blonde hair,” he breathed. He remembered how he had loved Sammy’s hair when he had been a baby. It was always so bright and he had loved to pull on it, much to Sammy’s distress. “Blue eyes. Tall…” he was pulling Sammy’s image into his mind, but more and more tears were coming as he did. He tired to say more but all that came out was a choke. “Can I see him again?” B begged. “Just for a few minutes?” He felt like a child asking for another cookie.
Marlowe waved his hand. “Maybe later.”
B’s heart soared slightly and he smiled as he wiped the tears away. Slowly he sat up, ignoring the way his head protested and sent sickening twirls to his stomach. He would be good. He would do as Marlowe asked so that maybe he could be rewarded at the end of it.
‘I’m pathetic,’ he said inwardly. Marlowe had him exactly where he wanted him.
“Okay, let’s move away from Sammy. Tell me about your mother. What did she look like?” Marlowe had his clipboard at the ready.
B tilted his head in puzzlement, but began to answer the question. “She was…” he paused. He remembered she had cared deeply for him, but suddenly he couldn’t see her anymore. He had always thought of her, always remembered her but suddenly it was all gone. He frowned slightly.
Marlowe smiled and made a note on his clipboard. “What did she look like?”
He remembered. He remembered her holding him but he could not see her. He had always remembered though… He had never wanted to forget her. You didn’t forget about your mother. “I-I…” he stammered.
“What about her name?” Marlowe pressed.
That was easy. Kevin and the others talked about her all the time. She had been called… He froze. It was all blank. Nothing. “Mommy?” he whispered faintly, as if he could somehow talk with his memories of the past and ask why they had deserted him. He placed a hand to his head and suddenly his heart was roaring as it pounded hard in his chest. He was shaking. How could he have forgotten her? Where was she? Where were his memories?
He stared at Marlowe and shook his head.
Mother. Mom. Mommy. He knew the words, but there was nothing to go with them. When had he forgotten?
“Now let’s move onto daddy,” Marlowe said as he turned a page over on his clipboard.
“Why don’t I remember my mom?” B whispered more to himself than to Marlowe. He pressed his fingernails into his hands as if he could rip the memories out of his flesh. Panic was rising. Panic and guilt. How could he forget his own mother? He had loved her so much…
Marlowe waved a hand again. “Don’t worry about it. She died when you were what? Just turned five?”
‘Don’t worry about it?’ She was his mother! He placed his hands to his head and closed his eyes as tears began to trickle down his cheeks. “Mom.”
“Now to dad. What does he look like?”
B sniffed miserably and his voice was barely audible as he spoke. “Small, like me. Blonde hair and…” he paused and frowned “Green eyes?”
Marlowe glanced up sharply, a smirk on his lips. “Green?”
B nodded. “Yeah, green.”
Or were they blue?
“Okay, then green,” Marlowe said, still smirking. “Now, tell me more about Brian,” Marlowe insisted.
“Like what?” B asked faintly, still partly thinking about his mother. Why was Marlowe so interested in his family all of a sudden? He disliked giving this man information about his loved ones.
“When did you first meet him?” Marlowe said professionally.
B smiled slightly, feeling a little better a he thought of his father but it soon faded as he thought of him lying in that medical centre all alone with no B or Sammy to look after him.
“B?” Marlowe asked, jerking B out of his worries. “When did you first meet?”
“When he came from the past,” B replied instantly. Brian had saved him. He had been at a loss in his life. The only good thing he had had been Sammy, but he had entered the most darkest cloud of despair he had ever known. Brian had saved him.
“Tell me more about that. Exactly how did you meet him for the first time?”
B rolled his eyes. He had thought that Marlowe was more interested in the virus and he could not comprehend his change of tactic. He gritted his teeth though. He had to tell Marlowe everything he wanted though, even if it was private. Sammy’s welfare might depend upon it.
How had he met Brian? It had been when… when… He froze again and chewed on his lip. Brian… he had met him…
“Do you remember?” Marlowe asked softly. “Do you?”
B opened his mouth and then closed it. He began to tremble as he fought for memories and images that wouldn’t come. Sweat was building on his forehead. Meeting Brian had been one of the most important events in his entire, short life. He had to know it…
“You don’t remember,” Marlowe mocked.
B lowered his head and hot tears of frustration rolled down his cheeks. He felt sharp anger at Marlowe’s mockery, but it was overpowered by fear. He tried to force the memory to come but it was like staring at a blank slate. He screwed his eyes up in concentration and then he thought he had something. “A battlefield!” he said. He opened his eyes. A battlefield. He had been upset, but he couldn’t remember why…
“Are you sure?” Marlowe pressed. “Then what happened?”
He tried to think. He tried to remember, but even though he clamped onto the battlefield image he could see nothing else. He tried to remember the battle that had preceded the encounter but there was… nothing. “I-I-I… I don’t know,” B admitted weakly.
Marlowe ticked another box on his clipboard and then B screamed as loud as he could. Marlowe was treating everything as if it did not matter. He did not care that B could not remember anything. B was only an experiment.
B covered his eyes and gave another cry. He couldn’t remember. “Mom, dad…” Was he going crazy? He almost began to think that the virus was eating at his brain.
“What’s wrong with me?” he gasped. “I don’t remember anything! What’s happening!” His voice was frantic and filling with tears. He felt both cold and hot at the same time. His skin burned with heat, but inside his blood had turned cold and the pummelling of his heart only served to give him a headache.
Marlowe nodded as he placed his clipboard down. “Nothing to worry about. It’s natural,” he said perfectly calm and composed. “The memory loss is just kicking in.”
“Memory loss?” B asked faintly. He had felt sick before, but now it was worse. Ice seemed to have covered his body. Memory loss. He was about to lose everything he had ever known. ‘Dad, oh god help me please! Sammy!’
“A symptom of the virus. It represses memories. You’ve been forgetting things for days and days without even realising it, but now you’re beginning to forget much more important things.”
B shook his head furiously, begging for it not to be true. “My mother…” he whispered. “What was her name?” he stared bitterly at Marlowe. He had to know her name. He did not remember it… He would remember it… He would not allow himself to forget his family.
Marlowe smiled. “Why would I tell you that? I don’t want to jog your memory do I?”
“NO!” B screamed. He covered his ears with his hands. “I won’t forget! I won’t forget!” he closed his eyes. ‘Dad! Sammy!’ He would never forget them. If he forgot his own name he would not forget them ever…
“Give me your arm,” Marlowe said.
B remained still, but it was no use. Marlowe grabbed his arm and before he could protest a needle had been jabbed into his soft flesh and Marlowe had squeezed a green substance into his blood. He yanked his arm away instinctively as it stung slightly and rubbed the mark.
“Will that slow it down?” he asked softly as he began to wipe away the tears.
Marlowe shook his head. “No, it will accelerate the process.”
B stared at him and his mind could not seem to grasp what he had heard. He stared at his tormentor in horror. “W-what? Why!” he cried. “I don’t want to forget!”
Marlowe laughed slightly. “B, you’re going to forget everything! Pretty soon you won’t remember your dumb, blonde brother or your father or anything and then you’ll belong to me and my people completely! You will assist us in the further experimentation with the virus!”
B leapt from the table and backed away towards the far wall. “I won’t!” he screamed. “I won’t forget my father and I won’t forget my brother ever!” He was sobbing. “I won’t forget! I’ll never serve you! My brother, my dad…” He shook his head madly. “I won’t forget.”
“You already are!” Marlowe snapped. “Your father has blue eyes, not green eyes. You can’t even remember what he looks like!”
“NO!” B screamed. He suddenly swung his arms out and smashed the nearest objects, which just happened to be a series of glass vials. “I won’t let you do this! I won’t let you take them away!”
“B!” Marlowe said, crossing over to him urgently.
“Get away from me!” B cried. He made a run for the door, but there was no handle and there was only a panel which needed a code to open it. He thumped his fists upon it and screamed again. He had to get out, out, OUT!
He could feel memories slipping away. He was suddenly more aware than ever of what was sliding out of his mind, like water through fingertips everything was swiftly leaving him.
Marlowe grabbed his arms and picked him up easily, ignoring the way B kicked and punched him furiously. He forgot all his sickness and pain at the illness and all he could feel was blinding pain as his heart wailed at what it was losing. Surely it couldn’t take away his love? Surely he could cling onto it?
B screamed in the scientists face as he was pinned down upon the table before Marlowe was tying up the restraints again, ignoring B’s begs and pleads to be let go.
B cried, sobbed and struggled, pulling frantically at the ropes. “Let me go!” he begged. “Please!” His voice was suddenly lost in a frenzy of tears. He did not want to forget. He loved Brian. He loved Sammy. Sammy had been there for him always and B had always been terrified of losing him. Now he would be gone forever. And Brian… Brian he’d had so little time with.
Marlowe placed a hand upon his face and B cried and turned away from the monster’s fingers, shuddering as they pushed back his fringe.
“It’s okay,” he said lightly. “I’ll still be here. I’ll be here even when you forget all about your father and your brother. When they’re gone, you’ll have me.”
“Sammy!” B spluttered. “I want to see Sammy!”
“You think I’m going to let you see him again?” Marlowe asked. “No, I won’t let you see him. I want you to forget. You don’t need them.”
He wanted this to be a dream. He had lost his mother. He had no memories and that meant she was gone from him forever. Brian would be next…
“Don’t take them!” B sobbed. “Please!”
“Aaww B, think of it this way. You always wanted to forget what happened to you as a child and now you finally will. You can have a new life with the Gerai.”