CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN - FATHER AND SON

“B?”

It was like a dream. The weariness, exhaustion and fear Bri had felt building within him over the past few days suddenly fell to leave him breathless and tired. Finally he could relax as he saw B before him. It was over. His shoulders sagged with relief. He barely had the energy to move anymore.

B was standing before him, his face streaked with tears and his eyes red and swollen. He was pale, but clearly very much in one piece and alive. He was staring at Bri with those green eyes that he loved so much because they were a reminder of B’s mother.

He smiled at B. His mouth had turned suddenly dry and he could no longer speak or even think of what to say. His heart was restfully murmuring happily in his chest, no longer assaulted by the frantic poundings that had ruled it over the past few days as he’d sought to reach B as quickly as possible. He found his mind wandering to Brian’s, glad that his twin had been there.

‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’

“B?” He didn’t know why he kept repeating the name. A part of his mind seemed terrified that this would turn out to be nothing but an illusion or a dream caused by his weary mind.

B nodded slowly. He was staring at Bri silently. He began to carefully walk forwards, his arms held behind his back.

As B walked towards him, a part of Bri’s mind lurched with suspicion. There was something about the way B carried himself that was unfamiliar. He strode so confidently and powerfully and there was a distant look within his eyes.

He remembered what Brian had told him. He remembered what the Gerai had told Brian. ‘I wonder if the little one will even recognise you anymore.’

The virus. Memory loss.

“B… do you know who I am?” his voice was nothing above a whisper. He found that he could not summon the courage to speak any louder. His eyes were fixed with B’s, begging for him to know him, love him. Everything he had fought for was about to come down to this moment.

B nodded again. “Yes,” he replied, his voice eerily faint, but still just as Bri remembered it to be. “Yes, I know who you are.”

Bri’s eyes closed and the last shred of strength drifted away from him. He found himself falling forwards and wrapping B into a tight embrace, crying out slightly as he held him and felt him breathing. It had felt as if he would never see him again.

“I was so worried about you,” he whispered. Cold tears ran down his cheeks and fell onto B’s shoulder. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I took so long. It wasn’t easy, but I found you at last. Thank God…” His voice was burbling out of control as the words flew from his mouth, desperate to escape and to ease some of the thick guilt that was still pasting Bri’s gut.

“It’s okay,” B’s voice replied quietly. His hands were motionless at his sides.

“B,” Bri whispered. “I’m sorry for everything. The way we argue and fight. I swear things will be different from now on. And I promise that I won’t let the Gerai catch you ever again.” Again, more words were flying from his lips. He didn’t know if the Gerai were finished or if they would try to take B again, but he knew that he wouldn’t let them. He wouldn’t let anyone like Lance or Jonathan trick him again. This time he was going to be beside B and this time he wouldn’t pressure B so much that his son felt the need to skip through times to escape.

It was going to be different this time.

B was silent and Bri hugged him closer and fiercer to emphasise his promises and apologies. Weakly he clung to him, he doubted if he had the energy to stand alone anymore. He was so tired… Lack of food and sleep were beginning to reap their toll upon him.

“I waited for you for so long,” B whispered.

Bri pulled away from him for a moment and placed a hand upon B’s shoulder. More tears had found their watery way onto B’s face and his eyes were filled with troubled confusion. Bri felt something digging into his chest as he saw the hidden pain within those orbs. He gulped, knowing that he could probably never, ever make up for what B had suffered in this base. And he could tell that there had been suffering. The Gerai had had their way with the experiments. Bri felt himself screaming inwardly. He should have come so much sooner.

“You don’t have to wait any longer now, I’m here for you. We can find your brother and go home now.”

B’s eyes had closed and he sobbed slightly. His body had begun to tremble and he clasped his hands tightly behind his back. “I-I’m confused,” B confessed.

Bri tilted his head and reached out to hold B again. “It’s all right. You don’t have to worry about the Gerai.” B’s eyes betrayed his feelings and pain. He wasn’t right. He was shocked after his experience with the Gerai and probably a little unprepared for this sudden reunion and the fall of the base. B probably didn’t even have a clue what was going on at the moment. Bri didn’t know either, but he was still guessing that the prisoners the Gerai kept had decided to take control. He had to get B out of here quickly and then come back for Sammy. He didn’t want B to remain in this sickening place any longer. He could take him back to the valley and leave him with Brian. “Don’t think about the Gerai anymore,” he said.

“I’ve killed most of them anyway,” B replied calmly.

Maybe it was the quiet, calmness of the voice but for some reason Bri didn’t register what B had said at first. He sounded so casual about it and then Bri’s slow, sleepy mind jerked awake at the words. “B?” he asked as he pulled away, his brow creasing as he stared at B’s pale face, devoid of anything but the tears and confusion. “B, what do you mean by that?”

B shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “I killed most of them. I want to kill this doctor called Marlowe as well because he was doing experiments on me.”

Bri felt cold. Something freezing had trickled into his head and was slowly oozing down to his toes to fill him with cold shudders. B’s voice was… just calm. He didn’t seem to care about what he was saying. He didn’t seem t think there was anything in wrong in being so casual about death and killing. B had killed Gerai before, but never with this lack of emotion and never as if it was something as normal as going to the bathroom.

He didn’t want to talk about the deaths. He didn’t want to realise what his mind was already screaming at him. He didn’t want to realise that there was something wrong with his son. “Experiments?” he mumbled slowly and stupidly.

B nodded and moved one hand from behind his back to wipe his face on the back of his hand. The tears were drying now to leave angry red blotches on his cheeks. “Yeah. Marlowe used me as a lab rat. Something to do with a virus. I was infected with it and he kept he strapped to a table so that he could monitor my symptoms. I think I’m over it now. I feel much better, but I still want to kill him.”

Bri opened his mouth but for a brief moment nothing came out. He couldn’t speak. He cleared his throat. “B, you’re not well. We need to get you out of here and back home,” he said softly, not wanting to startle B who was obviously feeling a little fragile and vulnerable. Bri could tell by the far away look in his eyes that showed his fear and the quiet voice.

B jerked his arm away as Bri reached out to take it. His face darkened and creased with anger. “I’m not well?” he spat. “Oh and what makes you think that?” He flung his arms up and then Bri heard the bang from behind him.

He gasped and spun around to see that a small panel embedded in the wall was now spewing smoke and sparks. He turned back to B and the coldness began to sink even further into his body. “B,” he said slowly and carefully. “Did you..?” Somehow, even though he knew it was impossible, somehow he knew that the explosion had not been a coincidence. There was a dark look in B’s eyes.

“Everybody keeps saying I’m not well,” B mumbled angrily. “But no one really wants to help me.”

“I do!” Bri protested. “You’re my son and I’ve almost killed myself with exhaustion to get to you! I want to help you and I can’t believe you’d think I wouldn’t!” He suddenly realised that he was starting to tremble again. This wasn’t how he had imagined his reunion with B. Something was wrong with his son, something mentally was wrong.

“You didn’t come for me!” B cried, his voice becoming louder. He pointed a finger at Bri accusingly. “I’ve been here for moths and you didn’t come for me!”

“Months?” Bri asked. He could feel his numb lips shaking as he spoke and a desperate and futile wave of tears was threatening to engulf his eyes as he stared at B. ‘What have they done to you?’ “B, I know it feels like it’s been a long time but it hasn’t! I came as fast as I could! You’ve not even been here a month, not even three weeks!”

B was beginning to back away, his face had taken a lost look. “How can I trust you?” he whispered. Tears had begun to fall. “How can I trust you?”

Bri saw the tears and ran to embrace B again. He felt the boy sob and fall into his arms. “Please, B. I don’t know what they’ve been doing to you but you’re confused. You’ll feel better when you’re home. I promise this will all stop.”

B was leaning against his shoulder. “Marlowe did experiments on me. I forgot myself and everything for a while, but I remember now. And I remember…” B trailed off. Bri felt his face filling with heavy sadness. He had to get B away from here. He needed him to see Nick or another doctor as soon as possible. Gently he rubbed his hands on B’s shoulder soothingly. At least he had clamed him down slightly. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.

“I remember being tied down and screaming,” B said emotionlessly. “I remember pain… and I remember you.”

Bri felt his chest filling with relief as he breathed deeply. He smiled. B may not have been himself but he still recognised his family.

“I remember you,” B breathed. There was a strange edge to his calm voice. There had been something wrong with it the moment he had first spoken but Bri had chosen to foolishly ignore it.

He had thought that B was all right. He had thought that he could look after him.

The moment he felt a blade tearing into his side he knew that things would never be the same.

Bri groaned. Pain was searing through his lower back and as he clutched the wound he felt his fingers mingling with sticky, warm blood and torn fabric. He could feel the edge of the knife still lodged inside of him and he screamed slightly as B twisted it. He turned his head to stare aghast at B. His face was still so emotionless. Like he wasn’t even human anymore. “You… B…”

B smiled, not one of his usual bright smiles, but something that was scarily happy and satisfied. “Hey dad,” he said quietly. I think I forgot to tell you something.” He pushed the knife further inside of Bri. Bri felt his eyes burning with pain as he squeezed them closed and his hands convulsed as they curled themselves up. B yanked the knife out of the wound and Bri half stood, half crouched in pain. Even though the knife was gone, he swore that he could still feel it inside of him tearing away at his insides. B threw his hands against Bri’s shoulders and then viciously pushed him up against the wall. He brought his face close to Bri’s. “I hate you,” he whispered.

The tears were gone from his voice and his face and all that remained was a deadly seriousness. Bri shook his head frantically. B didn’t mean that… he couldn’t. He thought of all the leering Gerai faces that would be laughing if they could see this moment and his throat contorted with a sob. “B… why..?”

“You see what I have become?” B screamed as he backed away from Bri. He threw his head back and screamed again. Bri heard the cracking, banging noises and saw panels further along the corridor exploding in funerals of grey smoke. “You think I’m normal anymore? Look what they did to me!”

Bri could see what they had done to him, even though the effects were psychological. B’s face was filled with anger, fear, confusion and hatred. His eyes glowed with a light Bri had only ever seen in a madman.

But Bri refused to think that there was no hope left for him. “We can still go home,” he sobbed. “I still love you. I fought for you.”

B laughed and the sound sent another knife into Bri’s gut. “Love me? You left me here! You abandoned me! I was locked up and tied down with a dead rabbit for company and I screamed and screamed for you and you never came! You forgot about me and look what’s fucking happened!”

As the words spurted from B’s mouth, Bri felt something invisible slamming into his chest to make him cry out again as he was pinned to the wall. He gasped and his eyes grew wider as he saw the hatred running freely across B’s face. He tried to move his arms, but they had were being pressed back against the wall by something that he couldn’t see. He stared at B incredulously.

“B, how do you - ”

“I’m not normal anymore!” B screamed. “I’m a freak, a monster and… I can’t control myself anymore.” His eyes were blinking, as if he were trying to blink back tears. “This isn’t normal. This is what the Gerai have done!”

The pressure on Bri’s chest began to slowly increase. He gasped and his mind spun as it became harder to breathe. The experiments… the virus… these effects had to be a combination of the two. A conversation with Nick suddenly seemed to be standing forefront in his mind. B had always been emotionally unstable. Bri had never wanted to believe it, but it had always been there before his eyes. And now under further experiments and stress he could see that B was about to break completely.

“B please,” he cried, desperate to reach him. “I didn’t leave you, I’m here now.”

B shook his head. “It’s too late. You left it too late! You and that fucking brother of mine! You forgot about me!”

Sweat was dribbling down Bri’s arms and his chest had grown hollow and empty, only intensifying the pain of the knife wound even more. He had never heard B say a bad word against Sammy before and to hear him speaking and swearing so violently about his brother only made Bri’s mind weep even more. There had to be a way to reach him somehow. “Why do you…” he gasped as the invisible restraints about his chest tightened until he felt that he might burst. “… hate Sammy?” he asked.

Another expression filled B’s face. Bri saw the unmistakeable shadow of more tears moving to claim his eyes. “I was locked in a lab!” B sobbed dryly, trying to force the tears back. “I was a prisoner and Sammy was here the whole time and he never came!”

“He would have been a prisoner of the Gerai!” Bri cried, seizing the available handhold to try and climb back up to B’s trust. “he would have come for you if he could!” His chest heaved and rippled in pain and lack of oxygen. His mouth had grown dry and his tongue appeared to have inflated and begun to try and choke him. Sammy would die for B and if he’d had the single chance, he would have taken it to try and save B. “He loves you!”

He saw now what they had done to B, without even realising it. In B’s eyes, they had betrayed him by leaving him in the hands of the Gerai for so long. It may not have been that long, but for B it had been an eternity. B’s mind had already been muddled so much over the years and now it had seemed to close down completely.

B was crying. He covered his face with his hands and began to sob. The invisible force holding back Bri was suddenly gone and he gasped as he breathed again. His limbs felt heavy and stiff as if he had been dragging heavy weights and it was difficult to move. He clutched his side with a hand and then stared at B.

He was crying. His body heaved with the sobs and he slowly sunk down to his knees with his hands clasped about his body protectively. “You both left me,” he sobbed.

Bri shook his head. “We never left you. We never once forgot about you.”

“It’s too late,” B replied.

Bri tentatively began to approach B, still conscious that the boy was holding a blood smeared knife in his hand. “It’s never too late,” he said.

B raised his head and once again it was filled with anger. “Don’t try and suck up to me now!” he roared. He flung his hands out and Bri, again, felt something hit him and fling him back. He cried out as he fell to the ground on his injured side. “I know what you’re doing! You’re trying to manipulate me as well, just like they did! You’re like all the others! You just want to hurt me! I hate you! I fucking hate you!”

Bri screamed as he felt something hot and sharp searing inside of his chest. He wrapped his arms about his body, not understanding how the pain was being caused. One glance at B’s face, creased in concentration though, and he knew exactly why he was feeling such agony.

“I don’t need you anymore. I can take care of myself,” B snarled. With each word the pain inside Bri intensified until it was screaming inside of him, and then Bri realised that he was the one who was screaming. “B…” he choked, “stop it.”

B was still crying. He shook his head and twitched. “No, no, no! You’re like Marlowe. You even look like him.” B paused. How do I know you’re not him? You have the same hair, you’re the same size…” his voice had become murmurous.

What had they done to him? Bri could do nothing but repeat the question over and over in his mind. He couldn’t focus on anything else any longer with the harsh pain splitting into everything, and it wasn’t just physical torture anymore. Tears were flying from his eyes, squeezed forth by the pain. He saw B’s eyes burning at him with confused, and Bri knew to be misplaced, hatred. His worst fear had been realised B hated him. But it wasn’t B’s fault. B wasn’t in control of himself anymore. This was all caused by the Gerai.

B was staring at him and his face had grown pale. “Marlowe?” he whispered.

Bri stared back at him and shook his head. B was growing even more confused. Bri’s appearance had only made everything worse. “I’m Brian. I’m your father,” he said. “B, you’re confused. Let me help you…”

B began to scream at those very words. He wasn’t looking at Bri anymore but at something inside of his mind. His eyes had grown wide and he was shivering. “No, no, don’t hurt me!” he begged. “You’re Marlowe! You always said that to me! You always said you wanted to help me but you made everything even worse! You tortured me, you confused me and you made me hate my family!”

Bri shook his head. How could B mistake him for someone else? “You’re confused!” he cried.

“No I’m not!” B yelled in protest. He staggered back to his feet and began to back away from Bri. “You always told me that I was confused. You always told me I needed you, but I don’t need you Marlowe!”

“I’m not Marlowe!” Bri screamed. Blood was pouring from the knife wound and his chest was twisting and ripping inside of him as if something were trying to eat him alive. “B, it’s me!”

B flung his arms up into the air and threw the knife away from him. “I know who you are!” he screamed. “You’re the one who did this to me! I want you to die!”

Bri felt the burning, wriggling pain burst inside of him and he felt something vital tear as it was ripped. He closed his eyes as pins seemed to pierce into his eyes and he began to scream crazily like a man insane.

He writhed and clasped his arms about his chest, screaming and screaming in pain. “B!” he screamed. “B!”

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. He flailed helplessly on the floor. He opened his eyes but everything was a blur of his own tears. He stared about him, desperately searching for B, but he couldn’t see him.

“B?” he whispered, crying. “B!”

B had gone. B wasn’t here anymore. He’d run away. Bri could hear the footsteps echoing down the corridor. He closed his eyes and began to cry. Everything had been building over the past few days and now he could do nothing but sob and break down like a small child. “B, I’m sorry,” he murmured.

Everything was turning black and even the pain seemed to be muffled slightly. This wasn’t B’s fault. The Gerai had done this. This Marlowe had destroyed B’s mind and now B couldn’t even tell who he loved and who he didn’t.

“B,” he whispered, not even sure if the words were in his mind or in his head. 2I forgive you.”