CHAPTER EIGHT - CONFESSION
“What the fuck?” Lance whispered to himself.
Lance’s problem had just doubled.
His head hurt and he had to rub his eyes to make sure that what he was seeing was not a mirage. What the hell was going on?
He peered out of the secluded shelter of his room and watched as Nick, Brian, Darren and… another Brian walked past him. The moment they passed he ran out of his room to stare after them. It was no mistake, there was two of them! Damn it, he had enough problems trying to get rid of the first one let alone a second.
He glanced about the corridor and saw that he was not the only one looking a little shocked at Brian’s double. He noticed Howie’s daughter watching them both curiously from her own room opposite. Slowly he sidled up to her. “What do you think is going on?” he asked.
She shook her head in bemusement. “I don’t know.” Her eyes took on a thoughtful look. “One of them looks younger, almost like that time he came back through time. Why’s he come back though?”
Lance shrugged, but his heart was beginning to jitter nervously inside of him. The younger Brian would probably be the same one who had come through time before and ruined everything for the Gerai. Lance remembered that all too well. They had thought they had won until they had figured out what was going on. His eyes narrowed in hatred. “Do you think he’s staying?” he asked, trying to keep the malevolence out of his voice.
“I don’t know, but I hope so. One Brian could probably rescue Sammy and B but with tow of them it will be easy.” She smiled happily and then sighed. “I hope they bring back B soon.” Her face took on a gloomy look. “I miss him.”
Lance rolled his slightly, but she did not see the gesture. He was pretty certain that there was something between her and B. that lucky brat got everything. Lance had been hoping he could catch this girl for himself, until he had realised how much she and B flirted.
“I’ll see you around,” he said, making a hasty exit. He did not have time to dwell on romantic desires. He had to inform his own base of theses new circumstances. Two Brians could be big trouble.
**************************************
Brian sat alone in the almost empty dining area of the base, a plate of vegetables before him. There were a few other people sitting at other tables, but Brian did not dare ask if he could join them. He was aware of the way people snuck fleeting glances at him every now and then. He tried to keep his head down as much as possible, but they knew he did not belong here. To them, he was an intruder.
At first he had tried to find a familiar face among the people. He had met several on his first visit to this time and it seemed like a good idea to make some friends. Unfortunately, he could find none of them though.
He sighed glumly. The only friend he seemed to have was Nick. Nick though was going with Bri on the rescue mission and they were somewhere else collecting supplies. When Nick left, there would be nobody Brian could talk to except for Darren. There was AJ in the medical centre though and perhaps he would be willing to be a friend. He would have to drop in and see him later, just to see if he was okay. Darren had told him that he had been injured while out with Sammy and Kevin. For some reason, Brian felt as if AJ were a connection with his son. He was the last person who had seen him before he was kidnapped.
He poked a piece of carrot with his fork, but he felt no heart to eat anything even though he knew he had not eaten properly for a while. He wished he were with Nick and Bri. He did not want to be the one to sit back while they were out there risking their lives for his family. Darren would never let him go though and neither would Bri. Bri wanted Brian to be as far away from B as possible it seemed.
Strangely, the hatred that he felt towards his older twin was not as strong as it first had been. Brian kept thinking about the haunted look in the man’s eyes and the slight scars upon his face. He could not understand how he had lived. Why had he not come back?
Brian had tried to recall the dreams he had experienced last time he came here. He had suffered from cold nightmares about events that he did not remember. Were they events from Bri’s life? The dreams were faded now but the one thing he could recall was the dust, the fatigue and the misery.
“Brian?” a soft voice suddenly asked nervously.
Brian turned, shocked that anybody would want to speak to him. He found a pretty, drak haired girl watching him nervously. She looked about seventeen, the same age as B but unlike his son she actually looked her age if not older. He recognised her from his previous visit, but it was the beautiful chocolate brown eyes that gave her away completely.
“Howie’s daughter?” he asked. “Tessa?” She had inherited her father’s looks.
“You’re the same Brian who came here last time aren’t you? You remember me?” she asked, smiling a little.
Brian smiled back, pleased that someone did not seem him as a freak. “Sure I do. How could I forget one of my best friend’s daughters?”
She bowed her head shyly. “Can I sit with you?”
Brian nodded, eager for company to stop himself dwelling on his own melancholy thoughts. “Please, it’ll be nice to have some company.”
She sat down opposite him, but she seemed nervous for some reason.
“Where’s your dad?” Brian asked, wanting to break a tense silence.
“He’s near the Gerai base with a spy team. I know he’s okay,” Tessa replied, certain that her father was smart enough to avoid being caught.
“I remember now, Darren told me,” Brian said, tracing back to the meeting. “He’s doing a good job as well.”
Tessa said nothing for a moment, but seemed to be thinking. Finally she said, “But he still hasn’t managed to figure how to get B back.”
Brian lowered his own eyes, not wanting her to see the tears there. He still could not believe that this had all happened. He had thought B would be safe once the Gerai were defeated. Instead they had returned with a vengeance. “You miss him don’t you?” he said softly.
She nodded. “We’ve been friends for years. We knew each other as kids as well. I…” she trailed off.
“What?” Brian asked gently.
She raised her head to look him in the face. “I saw B when he was running away. I walked into him, but he refused to come back.” Her voice had become thick and her eyes sad.
“Why not?” Brian asked, his heart hammering inside of him.
“Brian… our Brian… was hurt in an attack and he was in a coma. B blamed himself. He felt he was trouble and he thought that his father hated him. He was so sad and upset. He said he couldn’t come back yet. He promised me he was going somewhere safe and…” She stopped, tears starting o fall.
“You let him go?” Brian guessed softly.
She nodded. “But I shouldn’t have! He was attacked and could have - ”
“But he was okay. He came to my time,” Brian said soothingly. He could see her guilt though. If B had come back with her then perhaps he would have been safe. Maybe none of this would have happened…
“But I can’t help feeling guilty and I didn’t dare tell anyone! I couldn’t keep it to myself though! I’m sorry!”
“Shush, it’s okay!” Brian said, alarmed by the amount of tears that had suddenly fallen on her face. He reached out and clasped her hands comfortingly. “It’s not your fault! You tried to stop him and it was his choice!”
He felt no anger towards her at all. Nothing. He could not blame her for what had happened or for keeping this to herself. He knew B and he knew that if he wanted to go, he would have gone anyway. The only thing that still surprised him was the fact that he had left Sammy. There was also something deep and creasing that was alarmed that B had left Bri in a coma…
He closed his eyes, remembering the thousand tears B had cried upon his arrival in Brian’s time. He had thought something terrible had happened to Sammy, but he had been wrong. Something terrible had happened to… Bri, himself. That was what had driven him to run away and it was made even worse with the guilt.
As much as it consumed his chest with flaming jealousy, Brian knew that B loved his father in his own time. He tried to hide it, but the love was there. B must have been close to insanity when the attack happened, he was sensitive to the ones he loved. He probably had not even been in his right mind when he ran away.
“I should have dragged him back,” Tessa murmured. “He wouldn’t have been captured then.”
“You don’t know that,” Brian replied. “You had a Gerai spy in this base didn’t you? B told me that a close friend of his betrayed him and tried to kidnap him. It probably would have happened even if he had not tried to run away. The lucky thing is that he came to my time and I was able to fend the Gerai off for a while.” He gulped slightly. He was the one who should have tried harder. He should have tried so much harder to protect B. Why hadn’t he listened to Bri’s warnings? “But I didn’t try hard enough. If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“Don’t say that!” Tessa cried in horror. “He loves you and you love him! He was… messed up with everything that had happened. You were probably the only one who could help him.”
Brian closed his eyes. B had definitely clamed down while in his time, but by the end he had been pining for Bri and Sammy. As much as Brian hated to admit it, coming to his time had probably been a mistake. B should have confronted his problem, not run away from it. But another part of him realised that B could not have done that, not while he had been surrounded by the threat of Gerai. He had needed time to sort himself out.
The conflict would never end and Brian knew he would never reconcile it.
“If he had not gone to your time,” Tessa said, her voice trying to reason out the problem. “You wouldn’t be here now to help him. If you and Bri work together, you’ll be unstoppable.”
Work together? How could they work together when they could not even look at one another without feeling the urge to fight?
“What makes you say that?” he asked curiously.
She shrugged. “You’re good at fighting the Gerai.” She paused for a moment. “If anyone can get B and Sammy back, it’s you and Bri.”
Brian had never thought about this. He saw his winning experiences with the Gerai to be more connected with luck than skill. He was no warrior. He had not had any combat training like the others here. He had survived on pure instinct and… luck.
“I don’t know if we can work together,” he confessed. “We… hate each other.”
Tessa seemed puzzled. “Why?”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Brian replied, trying somehow to search for words to describe the strange feelings inside. “It’s like an instinct almost. The first time we saw each other, before I even knew who he was, we hated each other. We could almost sense it within each other. It’s just so strange… I wish I could explain.”
“It seems strange that you should hate him. He’s you. He is the one you will become in the future.”
There was a quivering feeling that shook his body. He could not see it. Bri was almost like an entirely different person. He could not imagine ever becoming him, he was so different, so old.
He sighed and stared about the room helplessly. “I wish I could help B and Sammy,” he said quietly. More than anything he longed to be with them or to help them in some way. It felt as if he were betraying them by staying here and doing nothing. “But Darren won’t let me leave the base. He says it’s too dangerous for me to help in case I die or something. History would be changed.”
“I guess he’s right,” she replied eventually.
Brian tried to impale some vegetables, intending to eat them but at the last moment he sighed and placed his fork down in frustration. “I just wish there was something I could do!” He covered his face with a hand. His head was beginning to hurt and he felt burning hot and freezing cold inside at the same time. There was a huge hole within him.
“I’m sure there’s something you can do,” Tessa said comfortingly. “Darren can find something for you to do to help.”
Brian shook his head. “It’s not the same. This is almost as bad as waiting in my own time. I can’t do anything.”
Tessa smiled weakly. “At least you are here.”
Brian smiled back, but it was a feeble effort. He knew he should be grateful that Darren had allowed him to stay, but he was still unable to sit comfortably anymore.
Tessa glanced up suddenly and her eyes watched a blonde woman crossing the area. Her eyes filled with sympathy. “You’re not the only one who’s worried about them and who feels hopeless,” she said. “That’s Lori.” She nodded towards the woman.
Brian’s brow furrowed. The name was familiar somehow. “Lori?”
“Sammy’s girlfriend,” she explained.
“Oh.” Brian immediately took a renewed interest in the woman. He remembered now. B had said they were engaged. He immediately subjected her to a father’s analytical gaze. She was pretty, he couldn’t deny it. She and Sammy would probably make a cute couple.
“Everyone knows they had a fight before he left,” Tessa said quietly as Lori sat down with some of her friends. “She’s not feeling too happy about the situation either.”
Brian stared at her for a moment longer, suddenly realising that he wasn’t the only one who cared about them, but it still did not stop him from feeling so sick. He was their only parent. He was the one who was supposed to look after them.
“I think she should talk to Bri,” Tessa said when Brian did not reply. “You’ll feel better when you call a truce. After all, he’s you and so in a way you are going to be the one who helps them.”
A truce? Brian did not know if he could hold a conversation with him without allowing his loathing to show. Darren may have given them both warnings but it did not just make the feelings go away. “I don’t know if I can do,” he whispered. “I don’t think we could ever learn to cooperate.”