Disclamer: It was about 2 a.m. when I wrote this and thus I have no Idea what I'm talking about. Please pay no attention to this page
ELVES!!!
What can we do? they are all around us. Surely you must know I speak of the elves. Elves are strange creatures who can be blamed for almost every unexplained occurrence in history. For example: Brandy had an acting career? This was the work of elves. Spam is regularly consumed by people who could afford real meat? Elves. It's all about the elves.
Now it is a common misconception of Americans that elves are cute, pointy-eared people who exist only in children’s stories. WELL YOU WERE WRONG BITCH!!! The fact is elves are real and they are dangerous! Some are pointy-eared and cute, you would call them squirrels. But they may take ANY form. The band “Hanson”, for example, is all elves. Tony Danza... an elf. Steve Urkel... not an elf, but he may have been created by elves, they do shit like that.
So by now you should be asking yourself, "Gee, so how do I recognize an elf?" WELL THAT'S A DAMNED GOOD QUESTION BOY! GLAD YOUR PAYN' ATTENTION!!!!!!!! You will always know an elf by their attitude toward you. If someone is too cheerful toward you they are probably either an elf or a member of McEvil (who often are elves)either way, STAY CLEAR! The worlds most dangerous elf would have to be the Taco Bell Chihuahua, he is more evil then any other elf on the planet. ~DO NOT TRUST HIM~ he is evil. beware of people who are too friendly, they are over- compensating elves and members of "McEvil" (The vile organization that is better know as McDonalds(TM)) You have been warned now, only trust easy going, laid back types, be wary of all others! VIVA DON KNOTTS!
