THE ARMY OF STEVE!!!
Gather Round kiddies, and I will tell ye the tale of what the bloody hell The Army Of Steve is. Here are some frequently asked questions about us.
Q: Sooooo... what is your army fighting against?
A: Reality it's self! The world is only what you perceive it as. our theory is: Whatever the majority of people is the real world, is reality. Right now, CNN and MTV are what controls our reality. So, if we can get enough people to believe that the world is a wonderful place filled with magic and people who don't have to feel inhibited and general happiness, then maybe such things will appear. Well, atleast maybe those things will exist more then they do now, which is a good start becouse the world is what you make it. Atleast, that's why I'm in it, some people are just in it for fun and adventure, which is okey.
Q: what specific goals do you have?
A: Goal no. 1: The non-violent non-sensical overthrow of reality.
Goal no. 2: To make people Laugh
Goal no. 3: To make people Think.
Goal no. 4: To have a good time doing numbers 1- 3.
Q: Are you on Drugs?
Answer: NO! We do not believe in the use of drugs to temporarily alter reality. We believe in the use of the mind to do it permenantly!
Q:How can I join?
A: Well, the only thing you really have to do is let go of all the programing we're fed and accept the fact that the world is as fun as you make it. When someone mentions reality, ask "who's?" Also, we believe that you should shop at good will when possible and drink more lemonade, don't ask why, it's just helps to drink lemonade. I prefer to initiate new members by makeing them chose what they will do to prove themselves if they have not yet done so. However, there are other ways in. I just got in by E-mailing Rob Bender (one of our founders) and saying that I really loved the ideas put forth by the army and that I had been telling all my freinds about the site and could I please join. He let me and even helped me choose my steve name. I however, am a bit more of a hard ass when it comes to inducting, I like to see proof becouse I've inducted about a dozen people, and only about two of them take it seriousely, the others treat it like being a member of Yahoo!
Q: "Steve Name"
A: Yes, when you join the Army your first name among us becomes Steve, and your last name is something decriptive yet somewhat nebulouse about you. Like, my name is Steve Spoon becouse Iove and identify with the charactor "The Tick"
Q: Are you sure you arn't on drugs?
A: YES We do not do drugs and we are not insane, nor have any of us ever been part of the U.S. Postal Service.
Q: SPOON!
A: Well... that's not really so much a queston, but... SPOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
Q: Can you see a vampire through a two way mirrior?
A: ... damn, good question...
Q: Where do you guys get these Ideas?
A: 80's TV, pop-culture, music... theres more but... it's classified, you'll just have to join and find out.
Q: This page has lost it's novelty. May I go now?
A: Yeah ok, just remember: Ronald McDonald is EVIL!!! And Squirls are really elves in diguise.
Q: Are you SURE your not on drugs?
A: Yes, Now Be Gone.