Getting The Best From Those Who Are There To Help You
I think I have the best doctor and cousellor in the world but it wasn't by luck. I have been through hell to get to this position. My cousellor was the last chance for me as I had given up on the others (and let's just say I've seen some doctors who if I saw them never again it would be too soon). I took a big risk but it was the best thing I ever did. Now I have someone who is compassionate and is one of the wisest people I have ever met in my life. Without them I'd be lost, though of course during the desperately bad lows I think they're as bad as the others... but that's depression for you.
Having someone treating you who you can get along with is vital. If you just don't click with them how on earth are they supposed to help you? Having seen so many people who I just wanted to get away from, my counsellor was a breath of fresh air for me.
I'd just like to point out that I'm in the UK so I'm writing this from that standpoint (our waiting lists are very, very long unless you can afford to go private) - I don't have any experience of what counselling is like in any other country and don't know how anyone else's health system works in detail. Your country's health system may differ wildly from ours and some of the suggestions here may not be possible or they may have better ways of dealing with them.
I place a few words here to offer hope to anyone stuck with a doctor or counsellor that they can't stand and is doing no good and I also offer the following advice:
Counselling:
There are different types of counselling available - talk to the person assessing your case about which is right for you. If you already know which type you want, go for it. If you're not sure or if you're waiting a long time for the type you want you can get some sessions with another counsellor just to tide you over (if your depression is severe, trust me, they will find someone - I speak from personal experience).
Sessions are to discuss anything. Even if you think it would sound trivial to your counsellor it is worth talking about if it is worrying you and you need to get it off your chest. It can give you a different perspective on the problems and people in your life and actually show you something you have missed (or in some cases know all along and just don't want to see). Sometimes these little things are actually huge things in disguise and need to be talked about.
Be honest with the way you're feeling and don't try to disguise when you're having a really bad day - these people are here to help you. To be honest they're the ones that can see right through you - I can fool the people around me that I'm ok to try and protect them (unless they catch me crying my eyes out of course) or myself, but I can't get a thing past my counsellor!
Keep a diary, even if it's not required for your counselling - it will help you remember little things that crop up that you want to discuss in your session.
Lastly, and most importantly: even with anyone who you've been seeing for sometime there will be times when you are just so down that you suspect them - either their ability to help or whether they are truly on your side. If you have been seeing them for some time and are having these thoughts, stick it out with them - you've invested time and courage to build up trust with this person and they've seen you through this far. If on the other hand you haven't been seeing them long and are having doubts as to if they can help you, stick with it a short time longer and if you're still feeling they can't help ask about seeing someone else while holding the option open with them at the same time.
Doctors:
Usually people think that the doctors are there to handle the physical side (meds, side effects, keeping an eye on your weight and sleeping habits to guage the depth of your depression etc.) and that the counsellors are there purely for the emotional side of things, but I don't think that's how it should be. A good doctor will also touch on the other things going on in your life and not treat you like a lab rat - they get a clear picture of what is going on and will actually talk to you like a human. My counsellor has a lot of nutritional knowledge and really knows their stuff about all the physical symptoms that depression causes. A crossover of the two is really important for me - it lets me know that they know exactly what they're doing.
Some doctors are selectively deaf when it comes to their patients though - the phrase "I don't want these meds - they're not working" are something they just don't hear. If you're stuck with one of these, try and find someone else - you need someone who you feel is on your side. If your meds don't work (for around 25% of depressives they don't) and you know the only thing that will work is counselling, force the issue until they have no choice but to listen.
A good doctor will be keeping a close eye on side effects of your medication and will be flexible with their attitude.
Ask as many questions as you feel you need to. If you know what's going on it will ease your worries a little. Any stress removed from an already stressful situation will help your health.
Last little piece of advice for doctors is the same as I listed for counsellors - move on to someone else if you need to, but only after making sure it isn't just the usual insecurity associated with depression.
IMPORTANT NOTICE AND DISCLAIMER: This information is just that - information. This is not intended to be used instead of qualified medical advice. If you think you have moderate to serious depression you must seek medical advice from a qualified professional.
This is a section of the Steve Clark In Loving Memory Website. If you would like to learn
a little more about Steve, please visit the main contents page via the above link. Thank you for visiting.