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Spandau Ballet: Gold
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Philip Oakey/ Giorgio Moroder: Together In Electric Dreams
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ERASURE - HIDEAWAY
THE SONG WE DANCED TO AT CWM PENNANT!

Erasure MIDI Files
Freedom - [download]
Stop! - [download]
Love To Hate You - [download]
Love Is A Loser - [download]
A Little Respect - [download]
Chains Of Love  - [download]
Lay All Your Love On Me - [download]
Sometimes - [download]
La Gloria - [download]
Knocking On Your Door - [download]
Fingers & Thumbs - [download]
Yahoo! - [download]

All tracks composed by Clarke/Bell. Used with permission from The World Of Erasure

Erasure MP3
Tell It To Me (2003) - 139KB - [download]
Love Is A Loser (1985) - 187KB  - [download]
Both tracks written Clarke/Bell © Mute Records
More MP3 Files in the Erasure Page
Recorded by Steven Tattum. Please do not reproduce without permission. 

'The Simpsons' Sound Clips
Homer training a bodyguard school

Red Hot Chillie Peppers try to avoid Moe

Moe on a lie detector machine

Comic Book Man wants an IP Router which is compatible with his Token Ring Ethernet LAN configuration and Homer wants some money

Smithers: For the love of God sir, there are two seats!
Burns: I like to put my feet up

Moe: Hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt!
Barney: Ha-ha-ha ,That's a new one!
Moe: Wait a minute.

[phone rings]
Moe: Whoop, telephone. Flaming Moes!
Bart: Ah yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Gase , first name Hugh
Moe: Hold on I'll check, (to bar) eh Hugh Gase. Oh someone check the men's room for a Hugh Gase
Hugh: I'm Hugh Gase
Moe: Telephone
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Gase
Bart: Err, hi
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson
Hugh: What can I do for you Bart?
Bart: Look, I'll level with you mister this is a crank call that sort of backfired and I'd like to bail out now
Hugh: Better luck next time (Puts phone down). What a nice young man

The Monorail Song

Mr Burns sings 'See My Vest'

The Simpsons tell Sherrie Bobbin that they like it just the way they are

New: Homer sings: Yaba daba doo! Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree! Yahh!

New: Marge: Homer, there's a family of posums in here!
Homer: I call the big one Bitey!

 'One Foot In The Grave' Sound Clips
4291

What in the name of bloody hell

I do not believe it!

In The name of sanity

The Theme tune

One Foot in The Algarve theme tune

 Ah here we are, what did I tell you? My horoscope for the day. Do not under any circumstances go round for a meal tonight at Victor Meldrew's unless accompanied by a trained exorcist.

 What language you're talking in now? It appears to be bollocks. 

 Victor: keep away from me with that pastry. None of that pastry!

 The Honda Song

The opening theme

'Only Fools & Horses' sound clips
Del - Bonjour

Tony: Well I, I'm a victim of pwonunciatism. 

Boycie: Thank-you for calling Boyce Autos and Car Accessories, how..
Del: ...Boycie!
Boycie: Oh it's you Del Boy.

Trigger: Alright Dave

Mike: So
Trigger: What?
Mike: What name have they decided on?
Trigger: If it's a girl they're calling it Sigourney after an actress. And if it's a boy, they're calling it Rodney (pause) after Dave.

Del: You dozy old twonk!

Mickey Pierce: Can you see Del Boy standing in the kitchen cutting up all them loaves. He probably got some idiot to do it for him.
Trigger: No I made them for him

Del: hey Rodney! No-No-No! Rodney, ah-ah. Ring the doorbell.
Rodney: Hey?
Del: Ring the doorbell
Rodney: I've got my key.
Del: No, just ring the doorbell
Rodney: All right
{French National Anthem doorbell heard}
Del: Vive France! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yay!
Rodney: Del, what is that thing?

Boycie: Everything was going well, we were having a lovely holiday
Marlene: Shut up moaning
Boycie: And then they turn up and within fifteen seconds some sod's shooting at us!
Marlene: You've done nothing but moan ever since we left Washington 
Boycie: Get that bloody boat in Gawds Sake!

Boycie: No, I'll be about an hour. You'll notice me, I'll play Mexico Forever on the front door

Del (in sarcastic accent): Well during the war
Albert: During the war

Del: Oh sorry. I apologise for him sir. It's his religion. He's an orthodox tight arse

Albert: 'ere Rodney! Del's got some good news for you
Rodney: Oh yeah, what's that then?
Del: Hey, I'm comin' to Miami with you!
Rodney: No you bloody ain't
Del: hey?

Del: Hello, au revoir to you both!
Trigger: Del Boy!
Mike: All right Del, what you drinking mate?
Del: Just a Peach Decarie please Michael and chipolata sandwich.

Albert: I thought Raquel slept in there
Del: No. 
Albert: Where'd she sleep then?
Del: I don't believe him. She slept ..... somewhere else.
Albert: Oh I see

Rodney: Trotters Independent Traders, how may we help you?
Mickey (in foreign accent): Good evening. I am wishing to speak with managing director.
Rodney: Yes, this is he. My name is Rodney Trotter. I'm the managing director.
Mickey: I am representative of Sultan of Brunei
Rodney: Wow (To Trig) You'll never who's on the (to Raquel) You'll never guess who's on the phone. It's only the Sultan of Brunei.
Raquel: Yeah right.
Mickey: My name is Assid Hassain. 
Rodney: Well it's very nice to speak with you sir. 
Del: There we go Trig. Who are you talking to?
Raquel: The Sultan of Brunei.
Del: Oh yeah right. Hey, c'mon you.
Rodney: And erm, how may I be of assistance sir?
Mickey: You have advertisement in newspaper and his highness he would like to talk with you.
Rodney: Del, he's seen my advert
Del: Oh yeah? The Sultan of Brunei reads the Peckham Echo does he? What a mobee. (to Raquel) If you get me another brush I can do your other hand for you.
Raquel: Go away.
Mickey: His highness, he would like you to fly to Brunei and be his consultant.
Rodney: No problem! And what exactly what he like to consult with me about?
Mickey: Recently his highness bought a crappy old three wheeled van (in normal voice) and he wants to know how to start it on cold mornings!
Rodney: I had you going there didn't I? I knew it was you all along. I was just winding you up.
(Mickey, Boycie, Denzil, Marlene and Sid are in fits of laughter).
Rodney: Oh just shove it will ya, just shove it! 
(throws phone down)
Raquel: When the going gets tough, the tough get going
Cassandra: What's happened?
Trigger: Well Dave's just had a big row with the Sultan Of Brunei
Cassandra: Yeah right

Granddad: This is a cheeseburger! I asked for an Emperor burger. 
Rodney: I couldn't afford an Emperor burger.
Granddad: He got me a cheeseburger!
Del: What?
Granddad: I asked him for an Emperor burger and he brings me back a cheeseburger. 
Del: Hang on a minute Spiros, just hang on. Look, what's he going on about now?
Rodney: He asked me to get him an Emperor burger but I couldn't afford it so I got him a cheeseburger. 
Del: Bloody Emperor burgers and cheeseburgers! I'm trying to deal here. Now just shut up will ya! No, no, not you Spiros! No, no me old mate!

Trigger: Did you find your way out of the maze alright Dave?
Rodney: No, I'm still in there Trig
Trigger: I couldn't find my way out of there once
Del: You couldn't find your way in there once!

Mike: I remember me and my Mrs. We had eighteen blissfully happy years and... 
Del and Mike: ...then I met her!

Boycie: You are witnessing one of nature's great phenomenons. One that has sadly over the years David Attenbourgh has ignored. It's called the Trotter brothers trying to park a three wheeled van

Albert: Here, I can speak a little German. 
Del: Can you?
Albert: I was over there just after the war.
Del: Yes! Of course, sit down, sit down. Come over here. Sit down there. Now listen to me, I want you to ask her what her name is, y'know? Where she lives, her address. That sort of thing, alright?
Albert: Right, leave this to me (in German accent). Vot iz your name?
Del: Vot iz your name? Vot iz your name? He's winding me up ain't he?

Rodney: You git! You rotten conniving git! You're the most selfish bastard I've ever come across.

Damien: Do not touch me batty boy
Boycie: He's a character isn't he?

Boycie: We'll soon be in Miami. Let's hope it's better than Washington
Marlene: I liked Washington
Boycie: Yeah, wasn't much of a beach though was there?
Marlene: In the last fortnight we've been all down the East coast of America and you've done nothing but moan.
Boycie: I didn't moan in Atlantic City.
Marlene: That's because you were too busy gambling in the casino.
Boycie glances out of the window. He notices a very distant character on a ski jet (we all know it's Del but Boycie doesn't)
Boycie: That's funny.
Marlene: What is?
Boycie: There's a bloke down there on one of those ski-jet things.
Marlene: So what?
Boycie: So what? We're twenty five miles off the coast.
Marlene: Well, he must know what he's doing.

 Del: Let's get these drums into the back of your van.
Denzil: Hang on! Not so fast, what are these things?
Del: It's nothing to worry about. It's just, y'know, some gunge.
Denzil: Gunge! What sort of gunge?
Del: What do you mean? (in Denzil impression) What sort of gunge? Gunge is gunge ain't it?

 Mike: Ere Boycie. Do you and Marlene fancy something nice to eat?
Marlene: Yeah, I do as it happens Mike. Shall we pop down the Harvester in a minute?
Boycie: Ha-ha-ha-ha
Mike: I don't get much trade but I do have a good laugh. Bloody hell.

Del: Listen, he's got 250 electronic carpet steamers right. Now listen, they retail at a hundred and fifteen quid. He's gonna let us have them for twenty five knicker.
Rodney: Del, we aren't in the business any more.
Del: I know. Rodney, we can double our money on this.
Rodney: Derek, can you hear me over those trousers. We're not in the business any more mate.
Del: Hello Lenny. No, we're not interested. Trotters Independent Traders has ceased trading. Bonjour.

Yeah, yeah. Cushty! Cushty Monkey. yeah, alright Monkey. Alright, well we'll see you Monkey. Alright. Bonjour Monkey. That was Monkey.

Del: They've got no respect these days.
Albert: They've got no respect these days.
Del: You fought in the war didn't you?
Albert: I fought in war didn't I? So that kids like Rodney could have freedom. And what do they do with that freedom?
Del: Anything they bloody like.
Albert: Anything they bloody like.

Albert: Well during the...
Del: If you say 'During the war' once more I'm going .to pour this cup of tea right over your head.
Albert: I wasn't going to say during the war.
Del: Then that's alright then.
Albert: Bloody little know all.
Del: Alright. I'm sorry.
Albert: Thank you. During the 1939 1945 conflict with Germany...

Granddad: I don't wanna go in some home Rodney, I might catch somethink. 
Rodney: Don't you worry Granddad, we're stayin' put.

Boycie: I will go a pound
Del: Yeah, go on. I'll have some of that. Two pounds.
Boycie: Four
Del: Eight
Boycie: Sixteen
Del: Right, thirty two, go on!
Boycie: Sixty Four
Pause. Trigger looks at Del Boy blankly.
Boycie: It's gonna cost you a hundred and twenty eight to see me Del Boy

Damien: Uncle Rodders?
Rodney: Mmm?
Damien: What sort of teenage do you think I'll be?
Rodney: 'Horrible!
Damien: Yesss! Oh Mum, Uncle Rodders said I'm gonna be all horrible when I'm grown up.
Raquel: Oh did he?
Rodney: No, what I meant was all teenagers are horrible ain't they? They go through that 'Kevin and Perry' period.
Raquel: Yeah, I suppose they are a bit annoying. But when you reach 21 the man leaves those days behind him and develops into a sensible normal human being.
Del: Yeah, anyway so I squeezed this tube, I squeezed this tube of onion puree into his hair gel. So Boycie goes to the wedding smelling like a Big Mac!
Raquel: Well that's the theory anyway.

(Dogs barking)
Marlene: Get out of there Duke! Get out! Daddy will be cross!
[Phone ringing in background
Boycie: Marlene! That dog is in my aquarium again!
Marlene: I told him to get out but he don't take any notice
Boycie: He'll take some bloody notice when I piranha in there!

Boycie: For Gawds sake Marlene! I might be able to con people into buying my cars. I might be able to convince them that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat but how the hell am I going to persuade them my Grandad was Louis Armstrong!

Albert: I know a lot more about the sea than you do Rodney.
Rodney: Oh God, here we go.
Albert: You'd be surprised how quickly these whales breed.
Rodney: Three
Albert: And they're not all gentle as some people imagine.
Rodney: Two
Albert: You get a lot of them together they could be quite dangerous.
Rodney: One
Albert: During the war...
Rodney: We have liftoff.

Marlene: Del, what d'ya think he'd like for a present?
Del: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yeah, I do know that he does like a bit of fishing right. And he was talking about getting himself a proper anglers knife. But it MUST be made of Sheffield steel.
Marlene: Sheffield?
Boycie: GIVE US THAT PHONE!

Opening Theme

Closing Theme

Crying performed by Raquel and Tony