how do i reach him?

Disclaimer: The paragraph extracted here has been taken from a book titled "The way of a Pilgrim". The extracted paragraph mentioned herein could be studied independently and hence I have it extracted. I have given it a title "How do I reach him?" since that just sums it up all well.

Background of the book: The main character (philosopher) of the book is an anonymous Russian peasant who calls himself a "Pilgrim". The Pilgrim wanders from place to place in search for the wisdom that would teach him to pray ceaselessly…

Pre-requisite: You must have had skimmed through the "Revelation" as written by St. John in the Bible.

In his quest for getting an explanation on ceaseless prayer the Pilgrim met a woodsman who was responsible for guarding the forest through which he happened to pass by. After exchange of greetings they hit into a friendly conversation and came to know about each other. After learning that the Pilgrim was a religiously motivated guy the woodsman thought about sharing his experience with the Pilgrim.

"I was a respected citizen in my village," he said. "I had my own business; I dyed cotton and linen fabrics. And I was satisfied with my life, though I was not without sin; I cheated my customers, I swore and drank and quarreled. There was an old lector in our village who had a very old book about the last judgment. He would make the rounds among the orthodox Christians, and for a small donation he would read to them from this book. He visited me also. For ten kopecks he would read through the night till the cockcrow. And as I worked, I heard how the angels would blow their trumpets and God will judge the living and the dead; how the leaving will change and the dead will rise. I heard about the sufferings of hell; about the fire, the pitch, and the worms. Once, as I listened, I was overwhelmed with a sudden terror and I began thinking of changing my lifestyle. Perhaps I could make up for my sins. I thought and thought and finally gave up my business, sold my house and took up this job of forest guard. I only asked that the community would provide me with bread, clothes and candles for the services.

"So this is how I have lived for more than ten years. I eat only bread and drink only water once a day. Every morning I rise at cockcrow and make prostrations till dawn. When I pray I light seven candles in front of the icons (means 7 angels). During the day when I guard the forest, I wear heavy chains next to my skin. I do not use abusive language, do not quarrel with anyone, do not drink beer or wine and I have never had anything to do with women.

"At first these thoughts appealed to me but lately I have been plagued disturbing thoughts. God only knows whether it is possible to make up for one's sins, and life is full of hardships. Is what I heard from the book really true? Do people really rise from the dead? Even the dust has been gone from the people who died hundred years ago. And who knows whether there is a hell? No one has ever returned from the other world. It seems to me that when a man dies, his body decays and he disappears without leaving a trace. And it is possible that the book was written by the clerics and spiritual leaders to frighten us ignorant ones so that we could live more humbly. Life on earth is difficult; there is so little joy in it, and if there is nothing in the next world then what is it all about? Isn't it better to take life more lightly and live more happily? Thoughts like these war against me and I wonder whether I should not return to my former work.

The Pilgrim felt sorry for him when he heard all this and he thought, they say that only the educated and intelligent ones are freethinkers who do not believe in anything, but here one of the peasants is full of doubt and skepticism! It is easy to see that the world of darkness has access to all and perhaps even more to the uneducated ones. For this reason it is necessary to, as much as possible, to acquire wisdom and strengthen oneself with the word of God against the spiritual enemy. So in order to help this brother and strengthen his faith, the Pilgrim took the Philokalia out of his knapsack, opened it to chapter 109 of Venerable Hesychius, read it, and then began to explain to him that abstaining from sinful actions and fear of suffering are not sufficient for spiritual life; that only the guarding of mind and the purity of heart will free one's soul from sinful thoughts; that inner freedom can be attained only through interior prayer, and he repeated, not through fear of sufferings of hell or even the desire of the bliss of heaven. The holy fathers even consider heroic deeds as the act of a hireling. They claim that the fear of suffering is the way of the Slave and the desire for a reward is the way of the hireling. But god wants us to come to Him on the path of a son; motivated by love and zeal for his glory, we should conduct ourselves with honor and enjoy His saving presence in our hearts and souls.