Gomez The Goat

Gomez The Goat
A love poem by Steven Wallace
Written on January 18th, 2003

Eat that tin can, oh goat!
Eat up the yard waste, oh goat!
Eat up my -- hey -- don't eat my sneakers, goat,
lest ye be torched and thrown from the roof come
New Years day!

I lived in harmony with Gomez,
a blissful eight months. But
it was not meant to be. Gomez
had crossed the line. Gomez
had eaten my lucky slice of
moldy bread! We could live
together no longer.

T'was New Years day. Gomez
slept like an imp. Tonight, Gomez
would pay.

I walked him up to the roof,
I told him that there was some
nice shingles to nibble on up
there. He fell for it, what a
dumb goat!

I gave Mr. Gomez
some flame retardant syrup
so that his innards would not
scorch. Then, I ignited Gomez,
and threw him from the roof.

Baaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

He flew to the ground, and
landed with a THUMP!
His goat skin coat was still
smoldering. He limped back up
to the roof, where I was looking,
laughing, and pointing at him.

Wh--What are you doing, Gomez?
DAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
He kicked me off the roof!
Stupid flaming goat!