My Cheesecake Was Eaten By The Giant

My Cheesecake Was
Eaten By The Giant
A love poem by Steven Wallace
Written on December 18th, 2002

Oh terrible day! Woe is me! The giant of Ufgivorab has eaten my cheesecake! I was walking through the woods of Kubwi when it appeared before me. A great beast was he! The hulking mass that was he towered above the wee little me. I wet myself, I did. I wet myself good and long. Then there I was, face to face with the giant. There I stood in my warm puddle, as the giant came at me with his monstrous Hands of Death™. Swooping forth they came, after me and my cake 'o cheese. Trees have been lifted from the ground by the roots from such hands, and such hands lifted the cheesecake from me. T'was a pitiful sight, really, seeing me, cheesecakeless, damp, and cold, after the Ufgivorabian giant had stripped me of my joyous treasure of dairy goodness. I wept some, I did. I wept good and long. Cheesecake gone, I returned home. I knew that I could not show my face there, nor anywhere for that matter. My cheesecake was gone. I was nothing. I am nothing. I will continue to live my life alone, no cheese, no cake. Woe is me. Woe am I. Thus spake the prophet.