Editorial
Telling it as it is!
In the history of motion pictures there has never been a remake that could have been as good as the the original but fall flat on it's ass like Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes!
Set in the near future astronaut Leo Davidson leaves an orbiting space lab in which they are training Chimp's to pilot pod type crafts to rescue a chimp. Not so surprisingly he is caught in a time rift and lands on the Planet of the Apes of the title.
With a new story, a twist that makes no sense and a story which falls a million miles short of the original movie this is movie making at it's best and it's worst.
Following the impressive Mars Attacks and Sleepy Hollow, Tim Burton has made a 'studio' flick that lacks the imagination and creativity of his previous efforts (including Pee-Wees Big Adventure). Gone is his dark, moody and surreal look for a more mainstream looking sci-fi adventure which lacks the substance of the original Apes.
Not that this is all a bad movie. Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter and Paul Giamatti all put in great performances behind Rick Baker's incredible Ape make-up.
That aside, Mark Wahlberg is miscast as the hero astronaut and the story is a case of painting by numbers with a few bits left forgotten about.
I'm sorry but there are more plot loopholes in this film than in any other in recent history. If this was a sequel to a better movie then it might be forgivable. But for a 2 hour and 20 minute movie this is unforgivable.
Not that I am one of these people who looks out with nerdish glee for such mistakes, but, when they are rammed in your face they are hard to avoid.
Humor comes which cameos from original apes alumni (which includes Cahrlton Heston) and the use of classic lines form the original.
This aside, the ending/epilogue of this film is truly unforgivable and plain and simply not making any sense what so ever.
Apes had the potential as being one of the best movies of all time, but the script lets it down so badly that it is not even a mediocre one.
Rating: ** (for the make up, Carter, Roth and Giamatti!)