By Clio N. Sachem
Stewie: I'm sitting here with Mr. Adolf Hitler. Who I may say is absolutely, positively misunderstood. Well, Mr. Hitler, people always say what an evil person you are, but today we want to hear your side of the story. Can you tell us your story for starters.
Adolf Hitler: Thank you Stewie. Yes, I am very misunderstood. You see, people think that I just killed the Jewish people because I am racist against them. But, I actually killed them in self defense.
Stewie: Really, self defense?
Adolf: Yes, you see I was walking down the road one day in Germany. I was going to give candy to the orphans. Or maybe they were lepers...I just love everyone so much! When all of a sudden every European Jew started chasing me and screaming bad names at me!
Stewie: But...I thought your hatred was unprovoked...?
Adolf: No, you see they were screaming at me and chasing me, so I did what I had to do. I saw some concentration camps so I ran in there...and all of a sudden the Jews started to die!
Stewie: My God! You poor, poor man!
Adolf: Yes, so I started to cry and everyone saw me and I said something in English which actually sounds the same as "Let's start WWII" in German!
Stewie: So, it was all just a big misunderstanding?
Adolf: Completely! I tried telling them! No, no I love Jewish people, I do not want to hurt them! But everyone was trying to start WWII...so I just went along with it.
Stewie: I sympathize with you completely.
(Lois walks in and she's holding a history book)
Lois: What the hell!? I've been listening to everything! None of that is true! Hitler really was a dirty bigot!
Adolf: I really must be going...It was good chatting with you Stewie!
Stewie: Ah...burn in hell you coward...At least I wouldn't lie about it if I started a war!