There's always plenty of big, box office blockbuster movies hitting our cinema's these days. How many times have you gone to see a hyped movie where all the reviews have been fantastic, everyone's going on about it and screenings are actually booked out weeks in advance, only to be somewhat disappointed when you actually get to see it?

That's because the big blockbuster movies are missing a little something, a little something that would lift their hit movie status and make them an instant classic. They're missing Tightrope Walker-man and Stilt-boy.

Not that I've seen it, but imagine how much better X-Men 2 would be with yours truly and the other one in it...

You wouldn't be waiting for that one to come out on video, would you?

We might have to tweak the plot a little though:

With mutants being ridiculed by the evil Dr. Innuendo, and the rest of humanity soon to follow in his evil plot for world innuendo domination, the only people who can stop him are Stilt-boyverine and Kerry Anne Kennelly.

Tightrope Walker-man (TWM): Hey! I'm not Kerry Anne Kennelly, I'm Storm!

Stilt-boy (SB): You can't be Storm, I'm sure that'll be infringing on some Copyright. You can be Storm Boy.

TWM: I'm not being a friggin pelican. It's just Storm.

SB: Just Jack!

TWM: Very funny. I'd just like to point out that I'm not the one referencing Will and Grace here.

SB: Whatever. You are aware that Storm is female aren't you?

TWM: So... I'm just trying to live my childhood dream of being a weathergirl.

SB: Hmmm. That might explain why you make us wear our undies on the outside.*

Anyway, let's check out a sample scene in which 'Just Storm' has an epic battle with Mystique, played by Rebecca Romjin Stamos, over Rebecca's husband – 80's teen heartthrob Jon Stamos.

TWM: Ok, that's it! Will you please stop insinuating that I'm gay! I'm getting suggestive emails from Eddie McGuire.

SB: Eddie McGuire? I had no idea.

TWM: Hello!? He owns a harem of buff, scantily clad men and he's into ball sports.

SB: Well, that's enough for him to be convicted by the gay jury.

TWM: It's not funny. Quit nailing me Eddie... MAILING, I meant mailing.

SB: Lock it in Eddie.

 

*For the unaware, this is a reference to the Japanese movie 'The Weathergirl' in which a young intern at a small TV station in Japan fills in for the weather girl one night and becomes a superstar when she flashes her undies to the camera.

 

You can email Stilt-boy at jimjimbo75@yahoo.com.au

Go ahead, ask him a question... or offer him sexual favors, he'd like that...