Tightrope Walker-man & Stilt-Boy
in
Backyard Blitzkreig

 

Coming soon, an exciting new reality program that will have you revelling in it’s backyard make-overs and German military tactics. Tightrope Walker-man and Stilt-boy bring you... BACKYARD BLITZKRIEG.

Tune in every week to see Tightrope Walker-man and Stilt-boy carefully choose their target, draw up some attack and renovation plans, storm the household from the ground and the air simultaneously, disable all communications to the outside world and then do a backyard make-over you won’t believe.

Tightrope Walker-man will amaze you with his breathtaking wall murals, water features and sculptures made from old automobile parts...

SB: Holy Pascal-Fox’s-hair-hasn’t-changed-since-Wonderworld, Tightrope Walker-man, what are you making there?

TWM: It’s a wire chicken to decorate the pergola.

SB: No! That’s going too far, Tightrope Walker-man! I will quit this sorry excuse for a show if you put that abomination anywhere near the pergola.

TWM: Fine! If I can’t put the wire chicken under the pergola, you’re not allowed to put a bain-marie in there either!

SB: I hate you!

Go weak in the knees at the sight of Stilt-boys rippling muscles as he digs up the P.O.W.’s back lawn.

SB: Monica, what the hell are you digging that ditch for?

MONICA TRAPAGA: I was just looking for potatoes so I could make some potato prints on the garage wall.

SB: Holy second-rate-celebrity! If you don’t fill that up right now, I shall be making a Monica Trapaga print on the back wall.

And marvel at our special celebrity guests. This weeks guest is the one and only... Hitler.

TWM: Hitler, Achtung!

HITLER: Gesundheit.

TWM: Everyone’s a comedien! Just stop swinging that thing around you’ll have someone’s eye out, probably your own... cut it out... stop whipping the wire chicken! You’ll go blind!

SB: For the love of God, Tightrope Walker-man, this is a family show. Would you please at least attempt to think about what you’re saying BEFORE you speak.

TWM: How about you just never mind what I’m doing and get back to filling Monica’s crevice.

Join us for the fun, hilarity and military maneouvres of BACKYARD BLITZKRIEG! Coming soon.