Practical Jokes
Take the top off the toilet tank. Inside, there is usually a vertical plastic pipe about 1 inch in diameter. Going into the top of this pipe is a little plastic tube. Turn the tube outward and, if it is long enough, then put it toward the toilet bowl with the end just sticking out. Replace the tank cover, making sure that the little plastic tube is just sticking out. When someone flushes, the tube will squirt water.
Propose to the victim a co-ordination test, and tell him that it has been taken by the brightest people around you (quote some scores!). You sit in front of the victim and put your palms about twelve inches apart. The victims task is very simple. With eyes closed, his palms clasped together, he should cautiously take his palms between your palms, remove them, and repeat the process. Of course he must not touch your palms otherwise he "looses". Each cycle counts as one point and "any average person can get 100 points". As I said, tell him the scores of some other people you know. Let him paractice a little with his eyes open. Then blindfold him (to avoid the "natural" temptation of cheating) and say START. After a while leave. it is a hilarious sight to see a person rock his clasped palms back annd forth for no obvious reason.
Next time when you are having dinner, keep an empty water jug on the table. When somebody asks you to pass the jug, pretend while picking it up that it is full of water and heavy. Keep the jug on the table near the victim. The victim will apply what he/she considers is appropriate strength needed to pick up the jug. This will cause the jug to jerk up to a significant height. The sight is very funny and so is the victim's face.
1) Take an old record album cover.
2) Fill the insides with shaving cream.
3) Place it halfway under a locked door to the victim's office, home, room, etc. with the open end inside the room.
4) Jump on it.
Tape down the little white things that spring up when you lift the receiver. (another alternative would be to open up the phone and remove two little spring things so that the white things don't come up at all.) Of course all this should be done in the victims absence. When he arrives, dial his number from a nearby phone and don't hang up.
Dump a whole bottle of detergent into the toilet tank. This produces great billowing suds out of the bowl on first flush. Especially great if first flusher is sitting at the time.
Use a clip lead to connect the brake light switch to the horn relay on the targets car. Every time they step on the brake the horn blows. It's amazing how many people can't associate the horn blowing with using the brake. They just report that the horn blows at random times. This is especially useful joke to watch in parking lots when work lets out.
I know of a variation of the fake workmen digging the street that worked well. In the original (very risky) you masquerade as real workmen and dig a hole in the street and leave. When this was first done in NY in the fifties it was days before anybody realized something was wrong and traffic was a disaster until the street department patched the hole. In the variation, the jokers observed real workmen digging the street and reported to the police that college students were again digging up the street as a joke. The police thanked the tipster and headed for the dig. In the meantime the jokers approached the workmen and toldthem that the college had freshmen dressed up as cops as part of fraternity initiation and that they would be around soon to give the workmen a hard time. The workmen thought this was great and agreed to give the "cops" a hard time back. It was a long time before this mess was sorted out.
Blue shampoo, and a few drops of methylene blue (available in pet stores)
Switch the "MEN" and "WOMEN" signs on a pair of public bathrooms while they're occupied. Great at airports, hotels, and bars.
Take a sheet of cardboard or a throw away magazine, form a cone with it. Take the cone, a coin, and a liquid refreshment (water causes least damage) in a bottle or a cup, of course you will be pretending its your drink. Challenge the victim (bet a sum), that they can not drop the coin, placed on their forehead, with their eyes closed, into the top of the cone shoved into their pants at the waist within so many tries. To prove that it is possible, demonstrate the procedure a few times, you'll be supprised that it is possible. (practice before hand) When the victim tries it, as soon as the eyes close, pour the liquid down the cone.
Take one of those musical greeting cards (the type that play a song when opened) and carefully rip out the part that actually plays the music. This is only about the size of a quarter. When the victim isn't watching, plant this somwhere near him/her. Since it is so small, it is relatively easy to hide in a pocket, purse, etc. Afterwards, watch the victim become maddened by the recurrence of Jingle Bells, Happy Birthday, etc. in the background.
Reprogram the speed-dials in the office of a co-worker to all call "Dial-a-prayer."
If someone goes out of town for the weekend get access to their room. Lay down plastic wrap all over the room. Around furniture, under the bed everywhere. It is easiest if you remove all furniture then lay down the plastic. Fill the entire room with sod. Now they have wonderful green growing carpet. :) Replace all their furniture, exactly how it is supposed to be. Have farm animals moved into their room right before they get home. Sheep, goats, anything that grazes and is small enough to fit in the room will work. Lock up and leave. Preferably the country.
Call someone up and say you are the utility man on the roof dealing with the "High Voltage Phone Fibre Optics", and that because of the work you are doing, the phone will ring a lot. Tell them, no matter what, to NOT PICK UP THE PHONE OR ANSWER IT for ANY reason, or you or I might be electrocuted.
Hang up, wait a minute and call again. Let the phone ring and ring until it is picked up. Give a blood curdling scream.
If you can get hold of your victim's paying-in book, cause him a little trouble at the bank by writing 'Hand over all your money and nobody gets hurt!' on the back of a few paying-in slips. Make sure you disguise your writing.
Try to find a fresh, intact road-killed animal. Tie one end of a rope securely around the animal and the other end to the rear-towing loop of your victim's car. Hide the animal under the vehicle so that when your victim drives away, the dead animal will be pulled along and will start bouncing around behind the car. Guaranteed to attract the attention of other drivers and the police.
If your victim ever goes out drinking and driving, teach him a lesson by smearing some pig's blood or ketchup over his car bonnet and stick some human hairs to it. When he gets up the next day, and before he has seen his car, chat casually to him about there being an horrific hit-and-run incident on the news last night.
If you are planning on throwing a party, before the party begins, take a video camera and record a still shot of your toilet (get a good close up). Invite your victim to the party and later that evening when they go to the toilet, play the tape you recorded earlier on the largest television in the house. About 30 seconds after your victim has entered the bathroom, get all your guests to start laughing hysterically. When your victim comes out of the bathroom, he or she will see all your guests staring at the screen and will imagine that it is a live picture. They will probably storm out of the party in embarrassment. Swear your guests to secrecy never to tell your victim the truth.
If your flatmates ever steal your milk, put laxatives in it. Remember not to drink it yourself of course.
Laxatives slipped into your victim's food does wonders. Try this on his dog's food too - what a mess!
If your victim gets a parking ticket, get it before he sees it. Write a message on the back insulting the police and send it in with no money.
If you know your victim is going to throw a party, arrange for him to find out that somebody is going to crash his party dressed up like the police. On the night of the party, go to a phone booth and call the police telling them that a really rowdy party is going on and drugs are being taken.
Around Christmas time, run an advertisement in your local paper with the following message: 'I need all used Christmas trees. Leave them on my lawn and I will pay £5 for each', then give your victim's address. The paper will take your money and print the advertisement no questions asked. This trick works best if your victim is on holiday at Christmas. One dead tree left on his lawn will serve as a catalyst to create a tree mountain to rival Everest.
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