Amusing Signs
Sign in a Laundromat:
Autowashing mashine reads:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT
BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG. 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF
On a church door:
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
(THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE
DOOR.)
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Outside a disco:
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand:
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER
OF
THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish:
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK
ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO
KEEP
THEM IN ORDER
Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH
MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CARS
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE
ON
THE FIRST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES. RUNNING ACROSS THIS FIELD TAKES A MAN 12 SECONDS, BULL DOES
IT IN
10.
Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST
LEFT
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
On the return trip the "Welcome to New Jersey" sign has been altered to include "YOU'VE SEEN IT, NOW GO BACK HOME"
Sign seen hanging on a recent but bitter divorcee cubicle:
"I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving!"
A guy went into the menæ„€ room, and while he was at the urinal he looked up and saw a hand printed sign that read: "your future is in your hands"
On a wall in central Johannesburg:
"JESUS LIVES....."
Underneath someone had added
"Does that mean Easter is cancelled?"
Sign seen at a urinal:
"Get closer, it's not as long as you think/wish it is"
BACK TO MAIN PAGE