Work resumes tomorrow and for the very first time in ages, I am NOT looking forward to it. I don't care if I would see her as I know I won't she her much as she goes home an hour after my shift starts plus, lately we have been plotted on a different floor. Doesn't help that I do not even know her personally. Nothing can get you worked up more than being close to someone you actually know.
What the hell?
I just wanted to say that I am not looking forward for work tomorrow as I have found my one true love.
Made up with my one true love seems a more appropriate statement.
In the last post, I was contemplating which game I'd start to play.
Niche messaged me about Shadow of Colossus, asking how to defeat the Sand Colossus. I said I haven't even started playing the game. So once I had the time, I tried. Met the first Colossus and found out that this is not the type of game I'd really sink my teeth into and play every chance I have.
Ejected the DVD and inserted Magna Carta. Gave it sometime to grow on me. It's no Shadow Hearts. Am not sure if it's my PS2 but the load times turned me off. I would not want to wait for 20 seconds to go in and out a battle.
Ejected the DVD and inserted Dragon Quest VIII. Played it for a couple of hours Sunday night and I instantly got hooked. Damn nostalgia, nothing feels like a good old traditional RPG.
Woke up early with a few hours to spare as I initially had plans of going out with a couple of girls. Normally, I'd waste this short span of time (2 hours) doing nothing and just bouncing around. This time, it was different. There was an itch and it was in so much need of a scratch.
Come 11 in the morning, it was time to get my ass off the couch and into the bathroom to prepare myself. Deep inside I was praying she would message me and say she would not be able to go. I wouldn't have cared what the reason was, I just wanted to play more.
Before stepping out the front door, I received a message which answered my prayers. I was all dressed up at that point so my mom asked me if I'd go with her instead on some business deal. I asked what time we'd be back and she said around 6 or 7 in the evening, and I quickly declined saying that's 7 hours of my life wasted. Even the thought of another girl my mom is trying to introduce to me would be there.
I mean, videogames over girls. Man, do you really need to ask me to choose? The answer would only change if we're talking about the girl I truly adore.
So I spent the whole of Sunday afternoon in front of the TV playing Dragon Quest VIII and I still want more. If I didn't need to sleep, I'd be playing right now instead of blogging. There is still some control as I require sleep in order to function properly at work. This basically means I still have quite a way to go before I reclaim my old self.
Now, I am having second thoughts about this seminar after work tomorrow. This ones different though as it is not only because of this renewed love but a number of things which I do not really want to think about right now.
No one said life was easy, but no one said it would be this hard.
Sheesh. Am making such a big deal about things when I am happy. Crazy but still happy.
Torn Apart By Rabid Wolverines
It is that time of the year again when videogames (good ones at that) are being released one after the other faster than you can say, "Holy-guaka-moley."
The sad part is all of these games are magnificent and require dedicated alone time. With work and time wasted traveling, this is near impossible. Scratch near as it is impossible.
Last year, I purchased copies of MGS 3: Snake Eater, GTA 3: San Andreas, POP 2: The Warrior Within and LOTR: The Third age. Two of the four discs did not play back on my PS2 properly, skipping every so often and having insanely long load times, a probable cause of a defective disc or a dirty lens. MGS 3 worked but without a proper introduction as I was not able to finish MGS 2: Sons of Liberty as it was skipping midway, not that smashing the disc in half did any help. So the only game I was able to play for more than a couple of hours was Prince of Persia 2: The Warrior Within. Sadly, I did not have the strength to finish the game due to some obscure reason which I forgot by now.
This year, I find myself in a very familiar predicament only this time, it is far worse as there are 2 RPGs involved.
Last Saturday, I had the chance to purchase copies of Magna Carta, Dragon Quest VIII, Resident Evil 4, and Shadow of the Colossus. Add copies of Ultimate Spiderman and Indigo Prophecy which I purchased a few weeks back. None of them have been played yet, and the sad part is all of them actually work. So here I am at a point where I have to make a very important decision.
As much as I loved swinging around in Spiderman 2, I feel I'd have the same experience in the Ultimate Spiderman and even though Venom and Carnage would be present, they do not entice me as much as it is pretty much the same experience.
Indigo Prophecy plays like a movie and you can interact with almost every character wherein changes would affect them as well. I heard you can make your character commit suicide based on these actions. Awesome.
Shadow of the Colossus is a colossal game (pun intended) but as much as I tried, I never really got Ico.
Resident Evil 4 has this particular bind which prohibits it from being played when the sun sets. Yes, I just purchased the game and tested it out and it is already giving me the creeps. It is that good.
On to the RPGs.
Magna Carta is a visually stunning RPG from Korea and does have some game play potential akin to Shadow Hearts and I do not want to make the same mistake of writing it off as another lame-ass RPG.
And of course there is Dragon Quest VIII which is hugely phenomenal in Japan as it was a direct rival of Final Fantasy that is until Dragon Quest VII got delayed for almost forever. I did get to play Dragon Quest VII on the PSOne and although I did not finish it, I loved it.
So here I am in dire straits on which game I should play first. Am thinking one of the shorter ones, but in my experience they actually take months before I could complete them as I keep repeating scenarios. This was proven by God of War which took me 4 months of on and off playing to complete.
For a good RPG with balanced story and action mixed in, I could play in burst and progress further in the game.
I love wasting time talking about things I want to do and complaining about the lack of time.
Now, it is time to sleep once again.
Oh, I watched Flightplan yesterday and was actually impressed by the twist in the movie. Excellent. It was just draining to watch Jodie Foster like that.
Over the week, I finally had the chance to watch Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, House of Wax and Stealth.
House of Wax wasn't so bad after all. It was quite decent enough but there were are few ideas placed in the movie which was built on to. Things that were just said which absolutely made no sense. What's the use of having a 3rd brother? Paris Hilton was ok, nothing special. Some shots in the movie were seen through a video camera, and it was more natural to see Paris through them.
Stealth was another movie I avoided but since there were DVDs in the office which I could borrow, I decided to borrow them and give them a spin. The planes were cool, some off which defied normal aerodynamics but it was still an entertaining movie. Certainly not Top Gun, but decent. It's just sad that Jamie Foxx was sort of wasted in this movie, I really thought he was the star of the movie.
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is a movie I regret missing at the theaters. There was simply no time when it was released for me to see it. Thankfully, the copy was quite clear and had bonus features of the Oompa Lompas. I swear I am never going to miss another Tim Burton movie at the theaters ever again.
I also started watching Firefly, a space-western sci-fi created by Joss Whedon who is mainly known for Buffy and Angel. The show itself features a few faces from Buffy and Angel. It had the feel of Cowboy Bebop and is extremely fun and entertaining, with witty dialogue which Joss Whedon has been known for. I cannot understand why they would can the series in the US.
Watched 7 episodes today, and wish I had the time to finish the other 6 but due to time constraints, I would have to put it off until the next day-off or try to squeeze in atleast 2 episodes a night after work.
After watching the series, I'd be prepared for Serenity, the movie based on the series.
Work starts tomorrow morning. Early morning.
Another seminar after work and every Tuesday from this point on until the end of the year. It's starting to grow on me with some of those questions being answered already.
Received some excellent news when I got in for work last Thursday night, we are officially back in the morning shift with Sunday and Monday offs. I am not entirely sure for how long but I 'd assume it would hold out for at least a month. I hope.
The hours would most likely stay for a month or two, but the offs are a little sketchy as they fall on Christmas and New Year, and that is asking too much already. I really don't believe we would be that lucky but if we are I'd be grateful about the whole thing.
It's still a welcome change though, as I have never been in the morning shift during the Christmas holiday period.
Advantages of being in the morning shift revolves mainly in having longer hours to do more things. This does not really hold true if you count the number of hours but a 4-hour sleep (or less) during the night charges you up more than a 6-hour sleep during the day.
Morning shifts also make it easier for me to watch movies again. During the previous months, I had only seen one movie before my shift started, which was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last Wednesday. I was not totally devoid of movies though as I still made it a point to go out on weekends and have a Movie Day. This time around, I'd get to watch movies as soon as they are released on Wednesdays. Awesome.
I can once again walk inside malls and shop (I shop?!). Seriously though, I really need an update to my mediocre wardrobe and what better time than during Christmas time.
It also comes with the opportunity of going out on dates again. Damn, it was so hard to say that without flinching.
Of course, with every advantage there are equal disadvantages and trade-offs.
During the night shift, I spend more time going to work, usually setting aside 2 and a half hours to 3 hours travel time. I can do it in the early morning in 2 hours, but with a greater likelihood of being late if I chance an unlucky jeep. This may sound more of an advantage but the real issue here is getting home. 3 in the afternoon is rush hour. Add the Christmas season to the equation and we have added more than an hour to the hour and a half ride home which translates to breathing more pollution everyday.
Let's not forget about the monetary compensation we would be missing out. No more night differential. With the promotions I had during this year, I'd still be able to bring home a 5 digit number every payday, so things are not that bad.
I mentioned attending a seminar last week for a religious community. There are succeeding seminars, one during this weekend for Maturing In The Spirit and another which would be held every Tuesday for at least 4 weeks, Equipping The Saints.
This maybe a surprise for most people who know me, heck, it even surprises me as I still do not know what I am doing here aside from the obvious one which I wouldn't be mentioning here. When I told my mother about this, she summed up the main reason in a single statement. Ouch! I cried and laughed.
Still, I believe there is a bigger reason than the obvious one, especially when my schedule opens up to accommodate participating in more of these seminars.
Nonetheless, no matter how this one would end, it would be a fruitful experience with my questions hopefully being answered or at least being enlightened.
Spent the weekend in the most unimaginable and unexpected way. Attended a seminar for Spirit Empowerment at The Lord's Flock in Quezon City. It was a 3-day event and I was not able to do anything else aside from this, though I was still able to watch Initial D: 4th Stage on Animax.
It was an enlightening experience and I could say that certain things are a little clearer now but some things did not change, they just grew on me further.
Am sleepy and tired right now, and am not doing the seminar justice by this. I am thinking of writing a new monologue for this sometime, when I have the time.
Time, if only I could purchase more of this, I'd be happier. I waste too many hours traveling to and from some place. It would be so nice to leave home and go somewhere significant and not use up the whole day.
A trip to the mall for some people would take an hour including grooming. For me, it's more like 2 hours if no one is waiting for me, and at least 3 hours to be insanely early for appointments.
Enough of this, I really spend too much time on the Interweb whining and complaining when I should be doing other things like sleeping and dreaming wistful thoughts.
I am both hungry and sleepy.
Normally, I'd give the latter much more weight as eating would mean staying up for atleast another hour.
Lately though, I'd choose to eat first before sleeping. This means sleeping past one in the afternoon and in my case, waking up at 6 to prep up for work.
5 hours of sleep is more that enough for me if spent sleeping during the night.
5 hours during the day is an entirely different thing. It is no where enough to nourish the body and energize oneself for a full day of work. It's actually amazing that I am still breathing and healthy (touch wood) after such a demanding lifestyle.
Thing is I waste atleast 3 hours everyday traveling to and from work. Let's say on average, a normal employee would spend two to three hours a day, I on the other hand who lives in the plains of Rizal, spends atleast 5 hours a day to do the same bloody task.
If I lived an hour closer to work, I'd have 2 more hours to do things which I would love to do like play videogames or watch DVDs. This additional time can also be spent on things I need to keep myself healthy like eat and sleep more.
Amazing ain't it? It sucks more when you do the math and add up all those hours wasted, sitting on my bum ass traveling home. I am not a big fan of sleeping in public transportation due to the dangers associated with it nor a fan of sleeping while traveling at all, so all this time is spent with my mind thinking all sorts of things.
I am so glad that I am over that way-over-my-head depressed mode I was in a few years ago, but still thoughts of this nature find it's way through now and again.
It's not all bad though as there are some excellent ideas that pop out here and there. Sadly, like bubbles, they burst and get lost in transportation.
This is sick. Here I am mumbling about time being so important that I am wasting some good quality sleeping time blogging senseless thoughts in this journal of mine. Sad.
First day of the work week was pretty smooth. Am sure the rest of the week would be pretty calm as well. The hard part is getting enough sleep. I waste too much time travelling.
Yes, time spent on the Interweb while at home is time used wisely. Then again, maybe not as I could really play some videogames instead. Blood CSI Sunday Marathon fucked up my sleeping habits yesterday.
The weekend was spent watching DVDs. Didn't even touch the PS2 even for a second.
Was able to squeeze in Citizen Kane, The Man, Wallace and Grommit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit, and Doom.
Was finally able to cross Citizen Kane out of the great-movies-I-must-see list. I can vaguely understand now why it is rated as one of the best pieces of motion picture work. Everything was top-notch about it. Definitely worth the money I spent to have the copy shipped in from the US.
The thing is, it is so massive, I couldn't absorb everything in one sitting, but love what I did absorb. I wish I had more time to re-watch movies, as this goes on top of the list of movies I'd be seeing again once I have nothing to do. Then I'd watch it again, with commentaries. Orson Wells is such a genius.
The Man was an entertaining and fun movie. None of the slapstick humor found in most comedy flicks nowadays. Eugene Levy and Samuel Jackson have a real good chemistry onscreen.
Wallace and Grommit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is like the first clay-mation movie I have seen since, uhmmm, I don't remember. Never was I the Chicken Run fan, am not sure why, but it had something in it which really turned it off. Maybe someday I'd give it a chance. Someday.
Wait, I was supposed to be talking about The Curse of the Were-Rabbit and not Chicken Run. They just happen to be created by the same people. Anyway, Grommit is quite the character even though he did not speak at all during the whole movie, he was still awesome.
Doom. Now, what can we say about Doom? Hmmmm. It was doomed from the start. Pun shamefully intended.
Nah. There was actually some hope before as Uwe Boll was not attached to this movie in any way. After seeing it, well, am being too harsh on Uwe Boll but to be honest, I have not seen any of his videogame to big screen adaptations, two of which rank amongst the top 100 worst movies over at IMDB.
Enough of Uwe and more of Doom. I watched it on a bootleg copy which was hopelessly bad as we all know how dark these bootleg copies can be, and if you are in anyway familiar with Doom (especially Doom 3). you'd be aware on how dark it should be.
I guess this made the movie seem worse than it could be. Then again, you wouldn't be able to hide a mediocre story no matter how bad the picture is. The trailers did look good in all their glory, so visually the movie would hold up. Especially if you think that most of the monsters where not computer-generated (CG).
The BFG (Big Fucking Gun) ruled but was not used as much as I wanted it to be used. The first-person perspective was a pretty cool gimmick but felt more of a cut-scene from Doom 3. And of course, Rosamund Pike shined through all the darkness.
Sadly, with all those gimmicks the movie they were not able to save the movie from the cheap thrills and weak story.
"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." -- Norm Papernick
Love the quote. So which am I then? The former or the latter?
Doubt it would be the former as I haven't found anything. Heck, I wasn't searching even. Maybe I have already found it but don't realize what it is yet. Or maybe. Nah.
So it's the latter then? Well, it's most likely the case with all this conversations with myself. No sane person, talks to himself out loud just to analyze his own life and what decisions he should make.
Now, why the hell am I even blabbering on about this. Who ever said I could laugh without cause. Who ever said I was happy?
Well, I am happy to a certain extent but truly (madly, deeply) happy, no. I am just happier than I have ever been in my life, and considering how depressing and miserable my life has been with this journal as my witness, that is saying a lot and is a definite improvement and a welcome change.
There is one thing though that would make me smile no matter how bad my mood is, and I doubt I'd ever let go off it.
It's lunchtime now, but I'd rather skip it and sleep.
I was talking about suffocation in jeepneys a few days ago. Yesterday was the worse, and it didn't happen in a jeep but in van.
There are still shuttles out of this town at 7 or 8 in the evening, and have been taking them to work everyday. Not worst exactly since that would imply death by carbon monoxide poisoning.
Last night I got in a van whose exhaust pipe was bent and blowing all the smoke back into the air conditioned van. Windows were opened a little but it was too late already. I was way bad.
When I got to work, I couldn't believe how black my nose was due to the inhaled smoke. Was developing a cold already at that point, my bodies reaction I guess to all the dirt inside. After cleaning it all good until there tissues would be clear, my nose suddenly felt a whole lot better. The cold is almost gone with the help of two neozep tablets during the shift.
My nose does not get that dirty when I arrive home in the morning after a long jeepney ride. Sick.
Was supposed to pay for the DVDs I ordered but when I got to Metrobank at a quarter to 9 in the morning, there were already 40 people outside, all of which had their own number. I decided to just go home as I was so freaking tired.
Tired? Right. And here I am in front of the PC for 2 hours now.
Most people have a week off due to the long weekend caused by the holidays. At work, holidays is a non-bearing term which only translates to additional pay and free leaves (for official and real holidays, not those mandated by the government). We do get to dress down for the whole week. Excellent trade-off, ain't it?
October slipped by faster than September did and it was relatively better due to a few things.
It's November once again, two more months until the end of the year.
What better way to start a month than with a little bad news. It seems that promotion at work has one too many strings attached to it and by neglecting one, you'd be unable to get it and keep it for yourself. Tiny ones.
I was aware of it, but was hoping they'd overlook it, but they simply couldn't despite meeting and exceeding all other metrics. This one metric rolls up scores for the quarter but tied in to that is the need to meet the target for each and every month of the quarter.
Silly me overlooked the fact wherein I could actually get promoted again so the roll up score for the first month was pretty wild. I am talking about just one metric here. What the hell happened in July anyway?
Promotion requires balanced metrics for a period of 3 consecutive months. October could be used, but another metric dipped way below average. It could be scrubbed off, but that already happened during the last promotion so I am not counting on that anymore. We could use November, but with me all over it, I'd be too conscious about it and ruin it right away. I'll try hard to simply forget about it. Same thing happened last time and I was surprised that I actually made it, so I may still have luck on my side. Just one last hurrah for the year. It seems I'd never get the gift I dreamed of ever since last year anyway.
Of course I am a little disappointed about the whole thing. I mean, we were almost there, again, and fall short on one particular area, for a month. I guess this is a way of bringing my head back to the ground as it has been up in the sky for far too long. Humbling myself, so to speak. The same cannot be said about my heart though.
Thing is, I already feel pretty confident about what I am capable of and I really don't need another promotion to solidify that belief. Of course, recognition of this through promotion gives certain bragging rights.
Plus it opens the possibilities I inadvertently closed due to thinking I would actually get promoted.
The DVDs finally arrived, they actually arrived on Sunday evening which is when work resumed. Awesome ain't it? Now I have to wait until the end of this week to watch them. Poor me.