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Innocents Abroad - Quotes

-Oscar is in the car with a girl who has been charged with the possession of illegal drugs. If this girl helps Stone by introducing him to her supplier, she gets a good word put in for her.
Oscar: So tell me again, this Jeremy, your supplier?
Girl: Well he’s English. He likes English backpackers, that’s why he hangs round ‘ere. They don’t care what they do for a buck and they don’t stay long enough for the drug squad to pay attention.
Oscar: What else?
Girl: He’s Gay! Might help you if your that way inclined yourself.
Oscar: Give me a break.

-Church and Oscar are driving back from a drug dealer’s house, where they have just set up a buy. There are 2 young, English backpackers, Hannah and Claire, living with him.
Church: So you’re screwing her? (Hannah)
Oscar: Wha…?
Church: Peaches and cream, the English rose...!
Oscar: Hannah?
Church: (mimicking him) Hannah, yes Hannah!
Oscar: She’s got nothing to do with Jeremy.
Church: She shares his house!
Oscar: But…It’s a living arrangement, they do the cleaning, cook him meals.
Church: Come on.
Oscar: Hey she’s how I made the contact, she’s how I got his trust!
Church: So leave it at that.
Oscar: Don’t I get a personal life?
Church: Not on the boss’s time. She thinks you live in Queensland. She thinks you sell boats, she’s half thinking of joining you in Byron Bay! Are you comfortable with that?
Oscar: No not entirely. Come on church you know how it is. You develop a cover you play the part, you almost think its true.
Church: Except she’s the one you’re meant to fool! Finish it before you stuff the operation.

-Bernie's office, with Mac, Oscar who is on a sting.
Mac: But what if he knows you’re a cop?
Oscar: I’ll take the risk.
Mac: We’ve got nothing to loose? (Looks at Bernie)
Bernie: Except Oscar! All right, okay Mac. He's to have back up at all time, and wear a wire.
Mac: You’re sounding more and more like me.
Bernie: Don't push me.
Mac: No, no, I approve, I approve.

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