Oscar Stone is at a gay nigthtclub, working undercover in search of a drug dealer who is importing eckies. The music `Size Does Matter' can be heard blaring in the background.
The nightclub is totally packed out with a mixture of Homosexuals and Lesbians dancing away. Church, Angie and Regie Masters are all working on surveilance in the Com-V, which is parked just outside the nightclub.
And the size does matter,
in the face when it's big is better,
etc, etc, etc...
REG: What are they singing?
ANGIE: Size Does Matter! SIZE DOES MATTER!!
Church breaks out laughing.
ANGIE: (Laughs) It's a zoo in there!
REG: It's worse!
OSCAR: (Approaches the bar) Vodka-tonic thanks, mate. (A gay guy standing next to Stone at the bar blows him a kiss, resulting in him blushing and shying away)
REG: What's he doing now?
PETE: I'd say he's... asking someone for a DRINK! (Angie smirks)
REG: He's spose to be buying bloody eckies.
OSCAR: Hey! Do you know where I can get something a bit stronger?
BARTENDER: (Places a finger to Stones lips and gives him a pinch on the chin) Wouldn't know, mate. Ah! try craig.
OSCAR: (Looks over at the bold bloke standing over across the other side of the bar with the black T-shirt) Thank you. (Hands the bar tender a five dollar note).
REG: Can't you filter out this background crap?
PETE: Oh what! with our Hi-tech crap filter?
CRAIG: Hi there sweet. Aren't you a tall one.
OSCAR: How you doing?...
REG: What did he say?
OSCAR: Reckon your the bloke I see if I want some pills.
CRAIG: Why don't I suck this? (Grabs his crutch)
PETE: (Cracks up laughing) Oooh! that's gotta hurt.
ANGIE: (laughs) Must be those pants he's wearing.
PETE: Ooh! Archy Fetshion.
REG: I must have told him, he's a bloody professional. If this is the dealer he's got to stay undercover.
Oscar is standing over in the corner of the club looking out for the dealer when Ricky approaches him
RICKY: Jason!
OSCAR: WHAT?
RICKY: I said! Are you Jason?
ANGIE: Hang on! hang on!
OSCAR: Yeah! I'm chasin'. What have you got?
RICKY: Everything I need. Come with me. (Grab hold of Stone by his T-shirt, leading him away)
REG: That's him, that's the buyer.
PETE: He hasn't given us the word.
REG: You heard him. He's made contact.
PETE: He hasn't given us the WORD! I DON'T...
REG: This is Masters, code-three move in.
Police swarm in and gate crash the party.
RICKY: (Leading Stone away as police raid the nightclub for eckies) COME! COME! COME!
REG: We've been tracking those Eckies sine they left Norway.
RICKY: Come, come, come...
PETE: Dick head! A-grade dickhead.
OSCAR: What are we going out there for?
ANGIE: Hang on! Oscars on the move and he's not alone.
PETE: What?
RICKY: Shit! That was close. Come, come... (The pair run around the corner and hide from the cops just as a couple of them come out the door hustling one of the gay's from the club).Who are those cops after?
OSCAR: No idea!
RICKY: Come on.
OSCAR: What have you got a stash?
RICKY: Got a parked.
PETE: Either Gray Street or Dalgety. My bet's Dalgety.
RICKY: Lucky, I found you when I did, Jas. Looks like a few seconds later and the biggest job of your life could have gone down the dunny. Come on, I'll drive for now, come on.
ANGIE: Please don't get in the car, Oscar.
(Stone steps in the car and the pair drive off into the night).
MAC: Still go no idea where he could be?
ANGIE: Ah! We lost his signal after a couple of blocks.
PETE: He'll be right! He wouldn't of got in the car if he thought it was risky.
ANGIE: Yeah! He's probably trying to salvage the bust.
PETE: How's Ferret? Stupid Prick!
MAC: Oh Pete!
PETE: Mac, He stuffed the whole thing up. Whit did drugs end up with, small change and a pub full of screaming queens crying police brutality.
ANGIE: Who want's a coffee?
OSCAR: (Enters) Yeah, I'll have one.
PETE: Hey! Where the bloody hell ahve you been, sunshine?
MAC: Are you OK?
OSCAR: Yep!
PETE: I thought you might have got lucky.
OSCAR: Yeah right!
MAC: So what's the story?
OSCAR: Ricky, I don't have a last name yet.
ANGIE: Well, was he the drug dealer?
OSCAR: Nope! but he thought I was a bloke called Jason.
MAC: What?
OSCAR: I said I was chasin'. He thought I said Jason.
PETE: So now he's chasin' Jason. (Stone laughs)
MAC: Hang on! Who is Jason?
OSCAR: Some driver for a job; `Armed Robbery'. I don't know anymore details yet. But he's talking a lot of cash.
MAC: You think he's more than just talk?
OSCAR: Oh! Dead-set.
PETE: That's good work, mate.
MAC: Armed robbery, huh?
PETE: Why don't you, umm?..Do you want to go and get changed?
OSCAR: I'm going to go and try and find my sleeves. (They all crack up laughing).
Later at Bryan Grays Office at HQ. Gray is reading a news report regarding the drug bust at the gay nightclub the night before and laughing out loud to himself whan MacKenzie and Masters enter.
MAC: Bryan!
BRYAN: Morning Mac! Reg. Looking a little long in the face there, Reg.
REG: Yeah, knock it off, Gray.
BRYAN: Hey mate! If you don't want to be here.
REG: Hey! It was my intensive two-month investigation that led to this development.
BRYAN: Of cause, I understand and now there all squelling at Armed-Robbery squad, and ah, we'll make sure we don't drop it, alright!
MAC: Guys, come...
BRYAN: Nice colour by the way, Reg.
REG: I'm going to be in my office. I'd appreciate a full briefing before you leave.
BRYAN: Right! Sure Reg. Whatever you say.
MAC: (Taking a seat) Bryan!
BRYAN: Come on! It's not my fault if the Ferret can't take a joke. The word is that he choked and called a code-three before the buy went down.
MAC: I couldn't say. I wasn't there.
BRYAN: I understand (using a hand gesture, taps his nose) Anyway the thing is his misfortune is our good luck, isn't it? (Mac, gives him a funny look) Well the A-teams back together again. Fan-bloody-tastic. Ok! So We've got one poof called Ricky who's planning a job and you're going to use one of your guys as a driver. Is that right?
MAC: Pretty much!
BRYAN: Ok! And your guys...(using a hand gesture)
MAC: Is he what?
BRYAN: You know! (using a hand gesture) Bit like that is he? Bit of a pillo' biter? (laughs) Bit of a woolly-wofter, you know? Is he a switch-header?
MAC: Bryan!
BRYAN: What? I'm just trying to get the full picture, that's all...
MAC: As far as I know my operative is straight. Not that his sexual orientation is any of our business.
BRYAN: Of cause it isn't. I understand. OK! So I guess that we get some pictures of little Miss Ricky, put it to the works, see if he's got any form.
MAC: So far?
BRYAN: Alright good! Alright, so we get some more details and then we can put an operation together. Great... and until then...
MAC: We wait.
BRYAN: Oh! Well I suggest we go out for a coffee or lunch, sorry.
MAC: Bryan!
BRYAN: How'bout dinner. Something casual!
MAC: I don't think so.
BRYAN: Oh, sorry! Well I guess you're still missing Bill, right? Under the grieving process of cause, I understand that...
MAC: It has nothing to do with, Bill.
BRYAN: Oh! So it's me, isn't it? Well I understand your reluctance of cause but I want to assure you, Mac, that I am no longer, umm, a... SEXIST BUFFOON! (laughs) I think that's what you called me. Umm! Really, I know it's hard to believe but I, I have changed...
MAC: Bryan!
BRYAN: Most...Hang on. Seriously, Mac. I have reformed, OK!
MAC: We have a professional relationship and that's all. It can never be anything else, E-V-E-R!. I'm sorry.
BRYAN: Well if that's the way you feel.
MAC: Hey! I'll let you know when I get those surveylence shots.
BRYAN: Ok, sure! sure...
At Ricky's place. Stone is waiting just outside at the bottom of the stairs behind a bush. He is wearing a light blue shirt. Church and Danni are waiting just up the road in Church's car.
RICKY: Hey!
OSCAR: Hey!
RICKY: So why didn't you want to come up?
OSCAR: It's a nice day. Thought we'd go for a walk and a talk.
PETE: Here he is.
DANNI: (holding a compact camera) Oscarlooks good in blue. (Pete laughs). Come on, Stone. Get him away fromthe plants.
OSCAR: What?
RICKY: Got a better idea. Let's see how you can drive. (Hands Stone the car keys).
PETE: Come on girls. (The two men go an get into a black sports car). Here you go snap away... Here we go again.
Back at the factory, Angie is going through her photo album, trying to find a decent portrait for her parents thirteith wedding aniversary.
MAC: Hey! Any news?
ANGIE: No, no not yet.
MAC: What was that?
ANGIE: Oh! My parents thirteith wedding anniversary and they want a proper phot of me to put on their wall.
MAC: umm! proper?
ANGIE: Yeah! You know. One of those portrait shots where everyone looks like they've got a thumb up their bum. I can't imagine anything worse.
MAC: Parents will be parents.
ANGIE: They cost five hundred bucks.
MAC: What?
ANGIE: Yeah! I've done some ringing around. That's pretty standard.
MAC: You're kidding!
ANGIE: I wish. I think mum and dad are going to have to make do with a set of salad servers.
MAC: Look, I can take them for you.
ANGIE: (laughs) What?
MAC: The portrait shots. I can take them.
ANGIE: Oh thanks, but I'd be way too self consious. You know sometimes it's better with a total stranger.
MAC: Well it's up to you but...umm! I've got my equipment in the car. (Goes to leave)
ANGIE: Thanks! (Gets up to chase after her)
MAC: Umm!
ANGIE: Maybe it would be worht a go. I mean if you're sure you don't mind.
MAC: I'm sure.
ANGIE: OK! How about after work tonight?
MAC: Yeah great! Ah! Hey Ange, better get a bottle of wine.
ANGIE: OK! ah! Make it a couple.
Later on Oscar and Ricky are going for a spin in Ricky's car down town.
RICKY: In, in! Just in, in here, here.
OSCAR: Yeah! yeah, yeah.
RICKY: That was nice driving, Jas. Very Smooth!
OSCAR: Traffic was a bit heavy to really show off.
RICKY: There's plenty of time for that. How'd you find the slit-shift?
OSCAR: (trying not to crack up) A bit stiff.
RICKY: Umm! Can't be a bad thing.
OSCAR: So what are we doing here?
RICKY: Just wait I'll just be a sec. You keep that car running.
Just at that point Stone turns around to see Church and Danni pull into the vacant car park behind the red wagon, which is parked just behind Ricky's black sports coupe.
DANNI: Well another contact maybe? (holding her camera ready to take some happy snaps)
PETE: Just get some happy-snaps when he comes out.
Suddenly the shop alarm goes off and Ricky comes running out)
DANNI: Oh no! no, unbelieveable.
OSCAR: Ricky?
RICKY: (Gets in the car) Drive!
OSCAR: What are you doing?
RICKY: Drive BITCH! (The pair speed of in the vehicle)
Back at HQ. Mac is visiting Grays office.
BRYAN: Never, ever, ever, in twenty-three years of service. Forget about calling you undercover. Why don't we just call you the bloody help of criminals squire?
MAC: Oh come on, Bryan.
BRYAN: What do you mena, come on?... What am I suppose to think? You're got one of your operatives aiding and abeting an armed robbery, when the others just sit back and take photos.
MAC: What did you expect them to do?
BRYAN: Well not that.
MAC: Firstly, Stone had no prior knowledge of Ricky's intensions.
BRYAN: Well! that's good police work.
MAC: Secondly, you got your photos, right? And thirdly, all Ricky took was an ornimental ring of dubious value.
BRYAN: Oh What? So he's a stupid poof no, is he, huh?
MAC: Do you know how offensive that is?
BRYAN: What?
MAC: Using that kind of language. In fact your whole attitude.
BRYAN: Hey Mac1 I'll tell you what's offensive. Three police officers..knock! knock, knock (He's interupted by a knock at the door) Not now! Come back later will ya'... Three police officers sitting on their asses during a bloody armed robbery. That's offensive.
MAC: This man's planning a major job and you want to charge him for pinching a cheap ring?
BRYAN: Ah look!
MAC: My operative is meeting again with Ricky tonight. I'll log any new information and send it to you first thing.
BRYAN: Make sure you do, Mac, cause I'm telling you thing thing is getting bloody rediculous, bloody ridiculous!
Pete, Oscar and Danni are all gathered around at the factory, talking about the events of the previous night. Osar is still wearing his light-blue shirt from the day before as is suffering a from what appears to be a major hangover.
OSCAR: Our target's an armed car.
DANNI: ThAt's big!
OSCAR: Yeah! But that's all I could get out of him before he went toes up.
PETE: Oooh! Did you tuck him in as well, aye!
OSCAR: I tell you, I've got nothing against their sexual preference, It's the music; Ricky Martin, Striessan, Kylie, The VILLAGE PEOPLE!!
PETE: I like Ricky Martin.
DANNI: I love Ricky Martin.
OSCAR: You would!
PETE: Oh! You hated it so much you were in ther for five hours.
DANNI: Yeah! Dancin' like a DEMON. (Starts doing a funky dance)
PETE: Oh no don't! I've seen him dance. I feel sory for Ricky... Your Ricky, not Ricky Martin.
OSCAR: Yeah! yeah, go, Have your fun, but I'm telling you it took me that long and a bucket of Cosmopolitans to get him to open up.
PETE: 'Ulp! So to speak.
(Oscar sighs, shorty after Angie enters and walks past them in a pair of dark sunglasses)
DANNI: Hi! (Angie waves, laughing nervously in embarrassment)