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"We're Going to Cheesyland"
Written by: Greg Blair
Produced and Directed by: Tom Tataranowicz
Executive Producers: Rick Ungar and Tom Tataranowicz
INTRODUCTORY SUMMARY NOTE
One of the first season two episodes, "Cheesyland" is, in addition to being action-packed and hilarious, a scathing parody of the Disney Comapany. The focus isn't so much on the content of its movies (there's a clever Tigger reference), but rather, on the Mouse's House's crass commercialism. Two executives at "Dizzyland" sell their theme park to Limburger for a small fortune, then fight over the check as they depart. Later, when Modo accidentally destroys a shooting gallery and some nearby children tell the manager that the culprit was dressed as a mouse, the frustrated adult remarks, "That company really hates competition, don't they?"
EPISODE SYNOPSIS
As usual, our story opens in Chicago, but a viewer could hardly be faulted for thinking that this episode was beginning on an alien world. Instead of the usual high-rises or burnt-out buildings in the middle of town, we see a deserted beach, one where wind-whipped dunes rise and fall in an endless purple sea (it's night-time, if the color threw you). But as the camera pans right across the scene, we find that the beach isn't totally unoccupied--a pair of deep wheel ruts run across a nearby hilltop. A second later, we find out who's responsible for them as Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie come shooting over the crest of the hill, each of their bikes now boasting four wheels, thanks to some modification (nothing permanent, mind you; just a quick fix for a little four-wheel fun). They seem to be racing, with Modo in the lead, followed by Vinnie, and Throttle bringing up the rear.
Suddenly, Vinnie shoots past Modo, wheeling his bike around in an almost balletic pirouette.
"The world's baddest hero, Vinnie, cops the lead!" he crows.
"Come on, come on, Lil' Darlin," Modo says, patting his bike's crankcase and tightening his grip on the gas. "Let's show 'em just who is the baddest!"
With that, Modo quickly passes Vinnie, grinning and waving as he takes the front spot. Surprised, Vinnie tries to pass, but finds Modo blocking his path.
"Hey! Out of my way!" he shouts. "I can't see around your big ol'--"
"Button it up, wrenchhead!" Modo chuckles.
The three mice run nearly neck-and-neck as they leap off a short cliff. They round a corner, nearly crushing each other as they do in their urge to get ahead.
"Keep on 'em!" Throttle says firmly, apparently to his bike.
As the threesome approaches a huge hill, Vinnie shouts, "Last one past the sand dune is a nasty pair of Plutarkian underwear!" Throttle and Modo (quite rightly) wretch at his choice of words, Throttle grumbling, "Oh, well, you'd know, wouldn't you?" Vinnie, however, just laughs, asking, "Hey, have I got a way with words, or what?"
With that, Modo and Throttle quickly shoot forward, each taking opposite paths around the dune. Vinnie, however, decides on a far more direct approach, plowing straight through the middle of the thing, bursting out of the center in a hail of sand. He quickly passes both his bros, then races to a small hill overlooking the rest of the beach, where he pulls to a triumphant stop.
"Aooow!" he shouts. "The baddest!"
A very frustrated Modo pulls up beside him, snapping, "Foul! Foul! You can't violate a course hazard that way, come on!"
"Vinnie is a course hazard, bro!" Throttle laughs as he joins them on the right.
"Not to mention one of your major scenic attractions!" Vinnie adds, trying for suave.
"Yeah, well, if you'd move your swelled head for a minute, Mr. Warmth, we could see the real reason we're here!" the leader of the mice interrupts. Slightly embarassed, Vinnie turns, and behind him, we see a fleet of Limburger's vaccuum trucks sucking up the beach's sand. Greasepit, as usual, is at the helm.
"Ha ha!" he laughs. "This reminds me of the sandbox at kindergarten!" Greasepit sniffles, then adds nostalgically, "Happiest ten years of my life..." He blows his nose noisily.
"Since when did Limburger take over the sandman franchise?" Vinnie asks as he and his bros crest another nearby hill.
Throttle mulls it over.
"Hmmm...Sand...Plutark probably needs cement, bros. And from the looks of things, lots of it!"
Suddenly, the sound of revving engines draws the mice's attentions away from the beach and to the higher dunes surrounding them. While they were watching Greasepit, a huge squad of goons managed to creep up on them, each riding the typical goon dune buggy. The odds don't look good for our heroes.
"Hope you boys are feelin' cool..." Throttle begins.
"'Cause we're in for a hot time in the old town tonight!" Vinnie concludes.
"Oh momma!" Modo moans, clicking on his helmet's screen.
Vinnie turns his bike around, then shouts, "Okay, you madmen, let's PARTY!"
"Ah ah ah ah!" Throttle chides him. "Business before pleasure, Vincent. And our first order of business is those vaccuum trucks!"
"Yeah!" Modo agrees, smirking. "There's a sucker taken out every minute!"
Throttle flops forward onto his bike's crankcase (striking his horn in the process), muttering, "Oh, please!" Modo grins sheepishly.
"Who writes your lines?" Throttle laughs. "Let's rock--"
"--AND RIDE!" the three mice chorus. The weapons systems pop out on their bikes, and they race up the nearest cliffside, easily leaping over the waiting goons. They head straight for the vaccuum trucks, and Greasepit is quick to notice their presence. He grabs a microphone and quickly warns the truck drivers to beware, but is cut short by laser fire into his own vehicle. Greasepit crashes into the side of a dune. When his head emerges from the other side, a crab is hanging on his nose, and another quickly sinks its claws into his butt.
"Yeow!" Greasepit shouts crossly. "Don't get fresh!"
Throttle quickly dispatches a pair of gas trucks with one missile, while Modo punches another's driver out of his seat and straight into a lifeguard's chair. An "Out to Lunch" sign lands in the goon's lap before the sling chair supporting him snaps. Vinnie, meanwhile, races straight at a truck, its driver seemingly unafraid of the mouse's approach.
"Go ahead," Vinnie says coolly as he exposes his bike's laser cannons. "Make my day."
He and the truck stop just a few feet from each other. The terrified trucker turns tail, leaving a triumphant Vinnie laughing his head off.
"That was a great line!" he chortles. "Oh, gosh, I should use that more often!"
"Oh gosh?" Who's writing Vinnie's lines?
"Yeah, personally, I think we're all getting a little tired of that one," Modo remarks as he and Throttle pull up on either side of Vinnie.
"Yeah," Throttle agrees. "Why don't you try it out on them?"
He points to a trio of goons approaching fast from twelve o'clock. Vinnie decides to take the challenge. As his two bros splinter off, he pulls over and plucks a piece of long-stemmed grass from the ground. He puts it between his lips, and with a near-perfect Clint Eastwood stare, hisses, "Go ahead. Make my day."
Unfortunately, the line isn't quite as effective here. The goons are only too willing to make Vinnie's day, firing three missiles directly at him. The force of the resultant blast knocks the surprised mouse so far into a sand dune only his hand and a little of his arm stick out.
"Vinnie, you gotta watch what you're dune!" Throttle chuckles. "Failed the audience reaction test."
"Yeah, yeah," Modo agrees. "See, the trick is, you gotta keep your teeth clenched like this." He demonstrates for Vinnie, popping out his arm cannon and growling, "You feel lucky, punk?"
However, Modo's technique is apparently also lacking, because he gets the same response: the goons fire a volley of missiles at him as well, and the gray-furred mouse goes flying into the same dune as Vinnie (knocking the white-furred mouse down just as he was getting up). As the goons continue to approach, Throttle remarks, "What we got here is a failure to communicate. I think I got a sure-fire line for this situation!"
"What's that?" Modo asks as he and Vinnie climb to their feet.
Throttle draws both pistols from his hip holsters, spins them, then crosses them over his chest and fires backward, shouting, "It's tail whippin' time!"
Both blasts hit their targets (although I see only two of the three goons being blown out of their buggies). The drivers crash into another sandy hill (this is getting kinda repetitious...).
"Aoow!" Vinnie shouts, pumping his fist. "Time-honored and tested!"
"Yeah, well, here's another!" Modo shouts as the mice mount their bikes. "Let's RIDE!"
The three mice quickly begins taking out goons left and right, until just a few are left. Our heroes ride between them and then pass them, causing the goons to turn and follow.
"So, still wanna rock n' roll, huh?" Modo asks.
"How about we take 'em dancin' on Rumble Street?" Vinnie quips.
"Your lead, Vincent!" Throttle answers. "Shed 'em and shred 'em!"
With that, each of the mice fires his rear jets. They shoot forward, giving them enough of a lead to execute the maneuver they had in mind. Throttle quickly turns to Modo and asks, "Operation Crazy Eights?"
"Modo maverick, huggin' your wing!" the gray-furred mouse answers.
"On my mark...now!" Throttle shouts, and with that, the two mice quickly begin making figure eights on their bikes, turning hard to the outside, then darting past each other so quickly and narrowly as to leave their hapless pursuers no time to get out of each others' way before they smash directly into each other. They do this a few times, until it appears that all the goons have been taken out (isn't it amazing that the goons can never stop before they smash into one another?).
"Should've looked both ways before crossing," Modo observes sagely.
"Yeah," Throttle agrees. "Before crossing with the Biker Mice from Mars!"
Greasepit, having mounted his bike, tries to make a break for it, and stupidly decides to ride through the gap between Modo and Throttle. He nearly makes it, but then the two mice join hands and clothesline the goon. Greasepit goes flying once again. Vinnie, who had been conspicuously absent for the last minute or so (hey, with Mr. Ego, it's a conspicuous absence when we don't hear anything out of him for several seconds), jumps a nearby hill and blasts Greasepit's bike, making his quick escape an impossibility.
"King of the Road, comin' through!" the white-furred mouse declares as he lands. He leaps his bike nimbly over Greasepit (missing his up-thrust ass by mere inches) and joins his bros.
"I'll bust them beaver teeth of yours, Biker Bunny!" Greasepit snaps after Vinnie as he rises. At that moment, however, his own teeth crumble to dust in his mouth! Frustrated, the goon scoops what's left of his incisors out of the sand and grumbles, "This line of work could sure use a dental plan..."
"So you failed," the fish sighs from behind his desk. "Again. How typical."
"It was them barn-storming Biker Mice, boss, really!" the goon stammers. "I-I-I-I couldn't have--"
"Calm yourself, my sloppy secondary," Limburger interrupts coolly. "I'm not angry with you."
"Duh, you ain't?" Greasepit asks hopefully.
Limburger puts his hands on his desk and answers, gradually growing more and more enraged, "Oh, my, noooo. I am, however, intensely infuriated at your incredibly idiotic incompetence!"
"Well, just as long as ya ain't mad," a sublimely unaware Greasepit answers happily.
Limburger, further stunned at his employee's lack of intelligence, sighs and flops down in his chair. He picks up a remote control and turns on a nearby monitor.
"What's the use?" he asks, flipping through the channels. Each click reveals a different part of Chicago--the slums, riverfront property, downtown--that have been kept from the Plutarkian's clutches by the Biker Mice's efforts. "It's those intergalactic guinea pigs! Why must they always foil my plans? Can no one suggest a site where those ruinous rodents won't unearth my mining operations?"
Somewhere in that oily trunk of his, Greasepit obviously has a heart, and here he proves it by trying to cheer up his boss. He stumbles over and grabs the remote out of Limburger's hand, saying, "Duh, here, boss, let me help! I know just what you need to relax! Some big-time wrestling'll do the trick!"
He changes the channel, but instead of wrestling, we see a pair of clowns in front of a blue background that reads "FCC." Greasepit cries happily, "Whoah! The educational channel!" Obviously, this is a dig at the Federal Communications Commission, which, as many readers should know, mandated that so many hours of children's television a week has to be educational (and, as a result, a great deal of children's programming is absolute garbage).
"Give me that, you maliput(?) moron!" Limburger shouts, trying to snatch the remote back.
"W-wait, boss, I'll fix it!" Greasepit answers, trying to keep control of the clicker. He and Limburger struggle for several minutes, each trying to get their hands on the remote. As they do, they accidentally change channels, and we see a variety of programs. In one, a purple Bullwinkle-esque moose eats its squirelly companion. In the second, a Fred Flintstone look-alike is eaten by a dinosaur. In the third, the typical Tom and Jerry situation is turned on its head when the mouse eats the cat! I think we're seeing a theme, here...At any rate, each of the eaters belches loudly after their meal (the mouse's burp seems to be courtesy of Dorian Harewood, Modo's voice actor).
Eventually, Limburger succeeds in taking back his remote control, and Greasepit is thrown headfirst into the aquairium on the side of the room, where he becomes firmly lodged. While the goon watches the denizens of his watery new environment, Limburger changes the channel once more. This time, we see a commercial featuring a pro basketball player. He spins the ball on his finger, does some rather creative dribbling (including while on his head), and, in an obvious Micheal Jordan parody, floats to the basket. In an equally creative Shaq parody, he accidentally pulls down the backboard after his slam dunk. Limburger watches it all with a bit of wonder in his expression.
"Major Jumper," asks a journalist character in the commercial as the star continues spinning the ball on his finger, "now that you've three-peated the NBA championship, what're you going to do?"
Jumper looks puzzled for a minute, until the reporter whispers his lines.
"Oh, oh yeah!" he says quickly. "I'm going to Dizzyland!" As he's handed a large endorsement check, he adds, "You can bet on it!"
"That's it!" an inspired Limburger declares, turning off the television."
"You're gonna take a vacation, boss?" Greasepit asks, still stuck in the aquairium.
"In a manner of speaking, you greasy gargling glutton," the Plutarkian answers, opening his desk drawers (from which fly a succession of moths). "Now, where's my checkbook...?"
Limburger apparently finds it, because the first thing we see in the next scene is a check for $100,000,000 dollars, signed by Limburger (and drawn from the Bank of Plutark), being presented to a pair of greedy-looking businessmen in an odd-looking office. One of the men is tall and black-haired, while the other is a bald midget wearing glasses. I have no idea who they're supposed to be, except that one is probably Disney CEO Micheal Eisner (in keeping with the Disneyland/Dizzyland deal). They fight over the check the whole way out the door. Limburger and Karbunkle watch them depart from a nearby window.
"My consummate congratulations, Karbunkle, for altering this astounding amusement arcade in an amazing amount of time," Limburger purrs.
"Anything for you, your lucious lactativeness," Karbunkle replies. "And now, prepare to witness your newest criminal venture!"
Karbunkle presses a button on a small remote control. At the same time outside, a series of metal clasps releases the sheet hanging over the gates to the park, revealing a sign reading:
"Cheesyland," Karbunkle concludes in an ominous tone.
Instantly, the scene changes to nighttime. Fireworks explode in the sky, illuminating the large, cheese-themed amusement center. We can hear the shouts of happy park-goers over the Roman candles' crackles.
"Ahhh, Cheesyland," Limburger sighs, wiping a tear from his eye. "A dairy-tale kingdom of my very own. A doubly delicious delight. In purchasing this profitable playground, I have produced perfect privacy (he pronounces it "priva-cee")!"
As the time shifts to day, we see more of the park, including some of its rides. One is the Cheese Whip, which resembles Disneyworld's Tea Cup ride. A nearby roller-coaster ride patterned on the toasted cheese sandwich takes its riders (sitting in a sandwich-shaped car) into an oven-like building where melted cheese is slopped on their heads, follwed by two slices of bread and olives on spears.
"Yes, your cheese-whizz-iness," Karbunkle agrees. "And who would suspect that, beneath this park's placid exterior, we've hidden all your mining operations?"
Now the viewer sees what Karbunkle is talking about. A cutaway view of the merry-go-round reveals a huge drill bit churning through the soil. Nearby, a ferris wheel-like contraption scoops up dirt as it rotates.
"Ahh," Limburger sighs, walking over to a mirror. "And I am the fairest one of all!" He laughs, then joins Karbunkle at the window, pointing to one of the rides.
"And what does that little amusement do?"
"That, your Cheddar Cheeseiness, is Freefall," Karbunkle answers. "While our guests are deep in their dairy-land delusion, we shall be collecting mountains of lava to ship back to Plutark!"
As Karbunkle explains, we see how he's rigged the ride to assist with pilfering the red-hot rock. As the riders of the roller coaster-style amusement slide down the track, their momentum trips a lever hard enough to hammer a long tube deep beneath the earth's surface, until it reaches a bed of magma, which it promptly sucks up.
"Wonderful, my dear, demented doctor!" Limburger declares triumphantly. "And with my operations completely hidden, the plundering of Chicago can begin in earnest! But remember, I want more than the desecration of the Windy City! I crave the complete destruction of those weasals on wheels, the Biker Mice from Mars!"
He and Karbunkle laugh sinisterly as we go to commercial.
Signs seen along a highway:
CHEESYLAND 20 ML.
JUST 15 ML. TO CHEESYLAND
CHEESYLAND ONLY 7 MILES!
CHEESYLAND! THE CHEESIEST PLACE ON EARTH! NEXT EXIT!
Before long, the Biker Mice and Charley arrive at Cheesyland, and on a rather fortuitous day, as it turns out. A banner hanging across the park gate reads, "FREE HOT DOG DAY." One can't help but wonder whether they came to stop Limburger or for lunch.
"Free dogs?" Vinnie asks as they four of them sit idling outside the gate. "Now that's barkin' up my tree!"
Charley leans up behind him and says, "Yeah, I could go for a good cheese dog." Naturally, the mice cringe at the mention of their least favorite food (cheese, for those of you not paying attention), and the mechanic remarks, "Sorry I brought it up."
"Well, here's something else that'll leave a bad taste in your mouth, bros," Throttle says, calling their attention to a sign depicting a motorcycle inside a circle with a red bar streaking diagonally across it. "This place makes our bikes off-limits."
"Aw man!" Modo grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. "There oughtta be a law..."
"Smells like a mousetrap to me," Throttle continues. "With Limburger all over it."
"A trap, eh?" Vinnie asks with a grin as he steps off his bike. "Hmm, well then, what're we waiting for? Let's scope it out. This could be a fun day after all, guys." Of course, with Vinnie, any day involving deadly peril is fun.
The mice enter the park, and Vinnie grabs a free hot dog from a nearby stand.
"Let's rock--and RIDE!"
Unfortunately, Vinnie's twin lusts for hot dogs and fast rides don't go together well, and soon, he's leaning over the side of a flying reindeer ride green-faced and on the verge of throwing up (adding insult to injury, it looks like it's the first ride in the entire park, and Vinnie's first of the day).
"One hot dog too many, Vinnie?" Charley asks with a grin.
"Ooh, are we there yet?" Vinnie groans. Suddenly, he grips the side tighter, leans further over the side and--well, let's just say that I really hope the people walking under the ride at that moment had an umbrella.
As the afternoon progresses, the mice go on other rides and find other amusements. First, a haunted house ride. The horror is cut short for Charley, however, when Throttle (her current riding partner), spurred by force of habit, jumps up out of the coffin-shaped car and punches out one of the phantoms. Later, we see Modo enter a shooting gallery. He watches for a bit as boys and girls take aim at the moving targets, and then, all in the spirit of fun, he takes a shot himself--which blows up the entire back of the gallery! The kids are all amazed, and as Modo blows the smoke off his arm cannon, one offers to buy the gun from him for a quarter. "Sorry, bros," Modo answers with a grin, "but I'm kinda attached to it."
The mouse pulls off his helmet and brushes smoldering chunks of wood off it before turning on his heel and leaving. The kids are doubly amazed by his appearance, and when the arcade manager arrives and demands to know who caused all the damage, one answers, "Some guy, dressed like a mouse."
"Ah, man!" the manager grouses, gazing at the ruined stand. "That company really hates competition, don't they?"
Limburger, meanwhile, is still observing his park happily from a centrally-located tower (in keeping with the park's theme, this Limburger-Tower-away-from-Limburger-Tower is shaped like a huge stack of wheels of cheese).
"Ah, my entrepenurial endeavor is working wonderfully," he purrs. "Only one more ingredient is needed to make it magnificent."
As if on cue, a nearby alarm goes off. Limburger grins happily and turns to a huge monitor behind him. Karbunkle's face quickly appears, and he informs his employer that the Biker Mice have been spotted in the park (wonder how Limburger would feel knowing that one of them threw up in his park?).
"Ahhh. Life is good. But, let the games begin!"
Having never gotten sick on an amusement park ride before, I honestly don't know how long it takes for the nausea to wear off. An hour? Two? Well, whatever the normal duration, Vinnie's is still sticking with him when he and his bros (and Charley) ride Cheesyland's mammoth roller coaster. As the hot dog-shaped car (hey, that's new) lurches over the rolling track, he groans, "I don't think my stomach thinks this is such a good idea, bros." He actually belches the last word, once again on the verge of upchucking.
"Turn your head the other way, would ya, Vincent?" Throttle asks. Then, he adds, "Just think of it as a cycle on tracks.
"Hey! Yeah!" Vinnie says nervously, tugging at his bandanna and working hard to keep lunch down. "That's right! Must all be in my head."
"Nice to know there's something in there besides ego," Charley quips. Vinnie glares at her.
"At any rate," the mechanic continues, "these things are perfectly safe!"
Of course, as we all know, that was a setup. And, true to form, we see the mice's peaceful ride (well, peaceful except for Vinnie's throwing up) about to be interrupted by Greasepit and his goons. They scaled the side of the roller coaster, and just as our heroes reach the top, they spring up from below and stop it dead in its tracks. Oh, and did I mention they're all dressed like park mascots? One goon is sporting a block of swiss cheese, another is wearing rabbit ears and big dopey suspenders, a third is dressed as a warthog, and, in the coup de grace, Greasepit is wearing a little pink fairy costume. You gotta see it. I still can't believe the mice don't crack up laughing at the very sight of him.
"Well, look who slid in on an oil slick," Throttle says casually.
"This time, I got the drop on you rodents!" Greasepit growls. In reference to the roller coaster, he adds, "And I do mean, 'drop!' Over the side with 'em, boys!"
BAM! Modo leaps up to the front of the car and headbutts Greasepit. The greasy fairy goes flying, and with only three goons to hold the car in place, it suddenly goes shooting down the tracks! The remaining goons still cling to the conveyance, even as the Biker Mice try to push them off. Of course, a vehicle meant for four is going to be unstable with seven riders, and when Greasepit lands on the rear of the car, it becomes dangerously so.
"Whoah!" Vinnie shouts as he tries to shove the warthog off the car. "This ride's got more curves than a pitchers' duel!" His motion sickness seems to have been cured by the quart of adrenaline just dumped into his blood. The warthog falls off a few seconds later, landing relatively safely on a waterslide.
"Whoah! Talk about takin' a major fall!"
Throttle, Knuke Knucks blazing, grabs the rabbit-eared goon, whirls him in a circle above his head, then pitches him off the ride directly into a cotton candy machine. All we see of him is his ears and his eyes, and the resemblance to a certain battery-toting bunny prompts all three mice to quip, "Still going..."
But the goons aren't the only ones having trouble staying on. While Greasepit is able to maintain his greasy hold on the rear of the car, Charley falls out as they enter a double loop. She screams as she streaks toward the ground.
She doesn't need to be so worried, though; the Biker Mice are already on the way, preparing to do their coolest aerial rescue of the entire series (at least, that I can think of at this moment). I'll describe it (of course), but you really need to see it for yourself to see the fluidity of it. Seconds after Charley's unintentional exit, Throttle jumps out of his seat and says, "Vincent, if you please, the Double-Tail Trick." Modo whips his tail over the seat, then pulls it taut, for use as a brace. He and Vinnie grasp each others' forearms tightly. Vinnie whips Throttle off the car with his tail, wrapping it around the tan-furred mouse's wrist as he falls. Gracefully, Throttle falls toward Charley, whipping his tail aruond her feet. She stops falling bare inches from the ground, and is jerked upward with him. As the car starts down a hill, Modo releases Vinnie's wrist, and he, Throttle, and Charley go flying through the air, still linked like a chain. As they sail away (still about a hundred feet in the air, mind you), Modo seizes the last of Greasepit's flunkies (although Greasepit is still clinging to the car) and throws him off. The goon lands stomach first (OUCH!) on a track support just as Throttle, Vinnie, and Charley fall past. As the car continues on a straightaway, all three of them land safetly in their seats.
"Welcome back to the culture club, Charley," Vinnie says with a grin.
"Yeah, great to see you got back on track," Throttle agrees.
"I am not amused," the mechanic grumbles.
Greasepit, who has heretofore been pretty patient (and let's commend him for that), pulls a large bazooka out of nowhere and shouts, "Well, maybe this will tickle your funnybone!" as he points it squarely at the mice and Charley.
"You know guys," Throttle remarks jovially, "we had so much fun with that Double-Tail Trick..."
Vinnie's face lights up.
"We could have even more fun with..."
"...the Triple Tail Trick!" Modo concludes.
"Too late for tricks, mousie!" Greasepit snaps, aiming the bazooka. "Three fried furballs, coming up!"
I wouldn't count on that, because even before Greasepit finishes his sentence, the mice have already leapt into action. All three of them stand up and grab the track with their tails (Modo on one side, Throttle and Vinnie on the other). Their tails pull taut, and bring the car to a screeching hault. Greasepit is thrown off and goes flying through the air. When he strikes pavement, his momentum is so great that he passes right through it, crashing into Limburger's subterranean mining operation. Greasepit actually lands head-first in a small bucket, and wanders around blindly for a few moments before he's knocked down by a passing truck.
"Greasepit never looked better, bros!" Vinnie laughs as the mice look down through the Greasepit-shaped hole.
"Yeah, but the rest of that stuff is looking major ugly," Throttle adds, pointing out the backhoes and such running around beneath their feet.
"Let's go take a closer look-see," Modo says as the mice rise to their feet.
"No, not right now, bros," Throttle disagrees. "We need our bikes and some peace and quiet for a proper investigation."
"Yeah, and peace and quiet's about to be in real short supply," Vinnie agrees as he looks over his shoulder. A huge army of goons has amassed around the four of them, surrounding our heroes on three sides.
"So what do we do now?" Charley asks nervously as Limburger's troops close in.
"BAIL!" all three mice shout.
"About time you guys made a sensible decision!" the mechanic snaps as the four of them dash for the wall. Modo clears it in a single graceful leap, planting his hands on the top of the wall and swinging his legs over sideways. Throttle leaps directly to the top, and leans down to help Charley over (who gets a boost from Vinnie). The white-furred mouse is the last to make the jump. Vinnie, of course, can't resist a parting barb. Perched on the wall, he calls out to the goons, "Don't hunt what you can't catch!"
And I bet you can guess what happens next.
...
Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Vinnie's pride always goeth before a fall, and in this case, it causes him to fall. As he stands there, laughing at the goons, a few lucky shots blast the wall out from under him, causing the white-furred mouse to fall to the ground comically. Hey, if you can't kill 'em, at least make him land flat on his ass, right?
"Oh man," Vinnie moans. "I hate it when my dramatic exits get screwed up like that!"
Night falls in Chicago, and at the Last Chance Garage, our heroes are preparing to re-enter the park and shut Limburger down. Each assesses his weapons (rather dramatic shots, too, by the way, especially Throttle's).
"Armed and ready!" Modo says, popping out his arm cannon.
"Knuke Knucks charged!" Throttle shouts, turning on the small green discs on his right glove, which glow brightly.
"Flares ready to fly!" Vinnie caws, spinning a pair before slipping them into his bandoleers.
The mice mount their bikes and ride to the front of the garage (thankfully opening the door ahead of time, so Charley won't have to deal with that bill this week).
"You guys got a taste for another helping of Limburger stew?" Throttle asks.
"I'm already in line, bro!" Modo replies. "We got a plan?"
"Mmmm, the usual. Make it short--"
"--sweet--" Vinnie chimes in.
"--and loud!" Modo concludes.
"AOOW!" Vinnie aoows, pumping a fist in the air. "Then let's rock--"
"--AND RIDE!" Throttle shouts.
And so, they do. By the time the mice arrive at Cheesyland, a fat white moon hangs overhead. They bypass the gates and leap their bikes over the wall. As the three of them ride through the now-silent park (hey, wouldn't a big Disney-esque amusement park be really creepy at night, when there's nobody there?), Throttle knocks a hot dog cart out of their way, perhaps in retaliation for those free dogs turning Vinnie into Mr. Upchuck that afternoon. Upon reaching the Greasepit-hole, they simply drop down through it, smack into Limburger's underground mine.
"Yep, looks like all of Limburger's machines are right here," Throttle remarks, looking around the cavern.
Suddenly, a spotlight shines on the mice.
"That's right, my esteemed enemies," Limburger's cackles from a video monitor overhead. "But you'll forgive me if I don't sign you up for the grand tour. SEIZE THOSE RODENTS!!"
Immediately, a swarm of goons tackles the mice, and a huge fight breaks out. When the dust clears, all of the thugs have been beaten into one large, unconscious pile, with the mice standing casually atop it. Limburger gapes at them.
"Say there, Uncle Larry," Vinnie asks the monitor cockily, "is that the best you can do?"
"Well," Limburger answers casually, "since you asked so politely, no. This is!"
With that, the Big Cheese picks up a remote control and clicks it. At the same time, above the mice, the Cheese Whip ride suddenly transforms into a giant, heavily-armed robot (I feel like I just wandered into an anime...). The platform it stands on slowly sinks into the cavern below, where it confronts three very stunned Biker Mice.
"Sorry I asked," Vinnie whimpers as he and his bros slowly inch away from the metal monstrosity (before the commercial, of course). When the Cheese Whip Bot starts to fire, they're narrowly able to avoid its shots.
"Imminent annihilation!" Vinnie laughs, obviously pleased with the prospect of an untimely yet exciting death. "I live for moments like this!"
"Me, I prefer just to live," Modo replies as he rides up beside him. "So let's get rockin'!"
"I heard that!" Throttle shouts from just ahead. "Blast that can, bros!"
The mice circle around and open fire on the Cheese Whip Bot. Their combined fire knocks the giant mecha through a thin wall in the cavern. Additionally, the impact knocks loose a huge pipe carrying--what else?--hot lava. Its weight pushes it right through Limburger's cheese tower, spilling red-hot rock all through the park. Some leaks back into the cavern, dripping in from its roof. And while Limburger's goons may be stupid, they're smart enough to realize that they aren't fireproof, and make their escape through the Greasepit-hole.
"Uh, heh, we got kinda carried away, huh?" Modo chuckles weakly as he looks around at the destruction around them.
"Well, we hit it with our best shot, buddies," Throttle reminds him.
But in this case, the mice's best just wasn't good enough. The Cheese Whip Bot rises to its feet and easily shakes off its beating.
"It's comin' back for more!" Modo remarks (how observant).
"We gotta put him away before we're all lava lugnuts!" Vinnie shouts. "Hey! Metal mouth!" He whistles loudly, and Modo grimaces. "Over here!"
With that, the robot turns and fires another volley of missiles and lasers. It misses the mice, and a huge cloud of dust errupts. But the Cheese Whip Bot isn't so easily deceived; it quickly turns, finds the mice, and proceeds firing once again. As the mice dodge its onslaught, Vinnie turns to Modo and says with a grin, ""Well, ya gotta admit, this park does have some exciting rides!"
"Yeah, well, I'm ready to get offa this one," Modo grumbles.
"Then let's take this wrench-head down!" Throttle interrupts.
Just then, the mice realize they're headed straight for the hole again. But all that lava from up top has started seeping in, and now a waterfall of lava is dripping down through it--almost on top of our heroes!
"Yeow!" Vinnie shouts. "I've heard it's better to burn out than fade away, but this is ridiculous!"
The mice pull to a stop bare inches from the growing puddle of lava. Throttle whips out a grenade and throws it at the hole, where it explodes. The blast actually causes the hole to reverse itself, changing it from a drain into the cavern to a short tunnel leading up to the lava lake collecting above. Not that any of this has an impact on their battle with the Cheese Whip Bot; it's still following close behind, blasting away at the mice. Once again, they find themselves on the run from the metal monster, with it no longer being their only concern.
"Hey, man, we gotta stop that hot stuff before Chicago can't stand the heat!" Throttle exclaims.
"Ah always said this town was cookin', but this wasn't what ah had in mind!" Modo agrees, ducking more laser fire.
"Come on, you motor jammers!" Vinnie shouts, pumping his fist. "Time to put a damper on this fire!"
"Mm mm mm," Throttle says, shaking his head. "Vincent, you're just so predictable. Let's rock--"
"--AND RIDE!"
With that, the mice split up. Vinnie takes it upon himself to deal with the lava problem, and so, he blasts his way out of the cheese tower, where Limburger and Karbunkle are watching the lava flow through the park.
"This could work out quite well, your blue-veined richness," Karbunkle wheezes. "Once the lava destroys Chicago, you can mine as much as you like, with no one left to oppose you."
Limburger considers this for a moment. Finally, he agrees that it's a rather excellent stroke of luck, but still expresses concern about the Biker Mice. Could they still foil his plan?
Is grass green?
"Not to worry, your sweet-creaminess," Karbunkle chuckles. "The Cheese Whip Bot will handle them. Observe."
With that, Karbunkle changes the channel on the nearby viewscreen away from the river of lava outside to the caverns below, where Throttle and Modo still have their hands full with the cheddary robot. Limburger laughs gleefully, then turns to his doctor and says, "Karbunkle, make sure the videotape machine is running. I wish to add this to my personal video collection."
"But of course, your velvet video-ness," Karbunkle coos, sliding a blank tape into the slot.
Outside, we see Vinnie racing side by side with the flowing lava as it approaches the gates of the park and the city beyond them. He's actually so close that his tires catch fire, leading to the obvious "burning rubber" joke.
"Time to bottle this hot sauce!" Vinnie quips, using his bike's lasers to knock down the large cheese wheel sign atop the gates. It works surprisingly well as a dam. A wave of lava courses up against the walls of the park, but quickly settles within.
"Yes!" Vinnie shouts proudly (great blooper moment here: the animator drew the mask on the wrong side of Vinnie's face!). He uses his cannons again, this time blasting a path through the lava, one which stays open just long enough for him to leap his bike back through the hole and into the cavern.
Throttle and Modo, meanwhile, are still having a tough time of it with the Cheese Whip Bot. It pursues them endlessly through the cavern, bringing down a hail of constant fire as it does.
"Man, doesn't that thing ever need to reload?" Modo grouses.
"Only one chance, Big Fella!" Throttle shouts. "Cross and Crash Number Three!"
"You got it!" Modo agrees.
The two mice turn toward the robot, one on either side of him, and then situate themselves so that they're facing one another at the robot's feet. They leap their bikes toward one another, and the robot's sensors cause it to mindlessly fire at its twin targets. When they cross each other's path in mid-air (high-fiving one another as they do), the android simply blasts its own head off!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Limburger howls from his office.
Underground, the robot falls to the ground, battered and broken beyond repair. Modo pulls to a stop, takes off his helmet, and says in mock solemnity, "Rust in pieces, metal man."
"Ain't no time for sentiment, Modo," Throttle interrupts. "That thing's gone critical! It's gonna blow!" As if to prove his point, the remains of the robot begin flashing bright orange.
"Oh, you think that's something?" Vinnie asks as he joins them. "That lava's backin' up like a patio dinner at Cinco de Mayo!" As Vinnie says it, we see it: the lava has now risen to such a level aboveground that it's starting to come in through the hole once more.
"And we're in the drain!" Modo laughs, putting his helmet back on.
"We gotta put a hurt on this hot stuff!" Throttle declares. "And I think I know just how to do it! Yank and Flank, now!"
The mice attach their grappling lines to the Cheese Whip Bot and begin dragging it through the cavern, the lava following close behind. They reach the far end of the passageway and release the robot, allowing it to smash into the central lava pipe. As it hits, it sets off a series of huge explosions, blasting the lava upwards.
"Oh yeah!" Vinnie shouts as the mice race up a girder to safety. "Now this is the way to hit the slopes!"
A second later, the mice burst out of the side of the cheese tower, shooting off their bikes' jets to give them that added aerial boost. They soar past Limburger's window, waving as they go. Vinnie laughs, "Tah tah, tubby!" Limburger waves back numbly as his new office is racked by a series of explosions.
"I'm afraid this is going to be yet another indestructably ignominius ending," the Big Cheese sighs. "Time to flee!"
He bolts for the emergency exit, picking Karbunkle up and actually throwing him out of his way. Limburger throws all his weight at the doors, shouting at them to open. It isn't until after the whole office takes a tilt sideways and he's hanging off one of the door's handles that he realizes that it's a PULL door, not a PUSH door. The handle snaps off due to his weight, knocking himself and Karbunkle into an opening elevator shaft. They land on top of Greasepit, who's waiting at the bottom (and is now clothed in his normal gear). Seconds later, the tower collapses on the three of them. When the dust clears, we find them sitting in a pool of lava! The villains run screaming back to Limburger Tower, their bums ablaze.
At this point, if one were to spy the ruined Cheesyland from overhead, they'd see what would appear to be a glowing mouse-head logo. That's probably not what attracted the huge crowd that's standing outside when our heroes land (I imagine that was the lava), but who knows, maybe they'll pick up on it anyway. At the moment, said onlookers are much more interested in the three leather-clad motorcyclists that have just dropped out of the sky. One reporter in particular is. He rushes up to the three of them, putting a microphone in their faces and shouting, "Hey, you biker bums! You've just become the new heroes of Chicago! Now that you've saved Chi-town, what're you gonna do?"
"What are we gonna do?" Vinnie asks curiously.
"That's simple," Throttle replies. "We're gonna rock--"
"--AND RIDE!" the mice shout, riding off. As they do, they sing, to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club song, "B-E-I-K-E-R-M-I-C-E from Mars!" Well, they may not be able to spell, but at least the city's safe once again.
(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!)
MY FEELINGS ON THE EPISODE
It's probably pretty obvious, but I've always loved "Cheesyland." It's one of my all-time favorites (I almost never say an episode is a favorite because I love so many of them for different reasons). In part, I suppose it's because, for me, the episode itself is always intermingled with the joy I felt at discovering that there were new episodes of "Biker Mice" out there. But on top of that, it's just a fan-freakin'-tastic 30 minutes. "Cheesyland" is one of the first purely fun episodes, where characterization and other tasks are by-products of the writing, not its goal. It's all about playing around, from the plot (the mice having fun in an amusement park) to the writing and animation.
The writing is definitely a cut above in this episode, especially the snappy dialogue. There's much more interplay between the characters, with them teasing one another. My favorite instance is Throttle's response to Modo's "sucker" line at the beginning of the episode. It's perfect. Likewise, there's Modo and Vinnie's exchange over the fun of imminent annihilation.
Of course, the high point of this episode is probably Vinnie's weak stomach. You know as soon as the mice set foot in the park that Vinnie is going to get motion sickness, and the hot dogs make it a certainty. Still, it's fun to see Mr. I Can Take Whatever You Throw At Me barfing over the side of wimpy little amusement park ride.
On top of that, there's the Disney parody, which works beautifully on two levels. First, there's the obvious, rather benign one, where it's obvious that the park is supposed to be a sort of BM-universe Disneyland. The second has teeth, ridiculing the Disney corporation that cares more about profit than the quality entertainment that made the studio famous. Greg Blair really turned in a great script.
"Cheesyland" also features some great action scenes, ones which in some way expand the mice's repetoire of equipment and attacks. The four-wheeler stuff at the beginning hints at the adaptability of the mice's rides (which we'll see more and more of in coming episodes). I've already mentioned the "Double Tail Trick" scene, which has to be the most graceful attack the mice have.
As far as animation goes, this episode is a little better than average. PASI is obviously more familiar with the characters than they were last season, and as a result, facial expressions and small movements are much smoother. Modo adjusting his helmet in the cavern comes to mind, as well as Vinnie's double take on the beach come to mind. Direction is good, and the music works pretty well.
"Cheesyland" is a little atypical in some ways (the super-snappy dialogue, the strong parody element), but it represents the best you're likely to see in an episode of "Biker Mice." Highly recommended viewing, to say the least.
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