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Ever since primary school, the SIB crew have done and been involved in some pretty piss-funny (yet often stupid, immature, pointless and dangerous!) moments. All, however, will remain in our memories and below is a compilation of just a few of these. This is by no means a complete listing - if you can think of any more SIB memories then please email them in or write them in the Guestbook. It was a bit hard to put all of these events into chronological order too, so if anyone can remember otherwise then let me know!
Primary School
Early High School
Later High School
2002
Around grade 5 or so, Jarred managed to slip on the "fort" in the play area one lunch time. He cut himself and had to be taken up to the sick bay in the office. He had a few days off school and after the second or so day, Colin told us that he saw bubbles coming from the blood where he was cut, therefore meaning he had gangrene. The sad thing was that we actually believed him...
Grade 6 - Wade's sister began the catchphrase "Wade Doodles."
Most people had taken to wearing caps at school because it was the cool thing - all except Wade, who wore a "sunflower hat" (a hat with a full, floppy brim) right up until grade 7. We must have tortured him about it pretty bad, because to this day he will not be seen dead in a sunflower hat of any kind!
Grade 6 - One morning outside the classroom we found Alister swinging from a pole in the eating area. Showing a great example in friendship, we moved the chair from underneath him and replaced it with a bin. He had no choice but to fall in.Grade 6 - We were lucky enough to go for a ride on a steam train from Yabulu to Rollingstone, as part of VP50 celebrations. As the train passed the school, we were greeted by waves and cheers from those who could not make the trip. When we returned to school, we found out that one of the teachers was so excited by the passing of this train that she jumped out of the window and broke her ankle!
Grade 6 - Jarred admitted to his teacher (the same one that broke her ankle) that he despised her. This teacher even had her own little one-lined jingle written on her behalf: "Dreams can come true, Miss Kidd on a barbecue..." And to top it off, on the day that she left the school (due to a transfer), Colin told her that she was a crap teacher and she started crying! She wasn't that bad, was she?
Grade 7 - One lunch break while playing handball we all started yelling out "Yeah Wade, you're stupid!" As a result, he chucked a psycho by spinning his arms around in circles.
Grade 7 - Wade got forcefed salt from the bottom of a popcorn bag. He spewed it up.
Grade 7 - The art of breaking into classroms during the lunch break was perfected by a Grade 6 boy named Matthew. He had really skinny arms and could squeeze them through the louvres to unlock the classroom door. We made use his skill on the afternoon of the annual féte - we broke into our room and basically trashed it by littering and moving desks around. I think it was the principal who came in earlier that day and told us that we should set a good example to the community by tidying up our part of the school.
Grade 7 - An unpopular kid called Shane tried to make friends by offering people Red Rooster vouchers. However by not giving out the 100 or so vouchers that he ended up "owing" certain people, he remained as unpopular as he was before the offer of vouchers was made.
Grade 7 - We were all little shits, which was proven by the fact that we went through 3 teachers in one year. The second one taught us two subjects in one term - politics and permaculture. We did absolutely nothing otherwise.
Grade 7 - The first teacher of the year took us on an excursion to the water meter at the front of the school. A year later he later died in what was quite an un-bee-lievable circumstance (no pun intended).
Grade 7 - After years of having Apple and Macintosh computers in the classroom, our second teacher for the year finally brought in a PC. We installed heaps of cool games on it like Commander Keen and Duke Nukem, but the best one of all was Wolfenstein 3D. Our teachers didn't really mind at all that we were playing violent Hitler-related shoot-em-up's, but they should have been because we took to speaking German war phrases and calling each other Nazi's. One day we had an old relief teacher who was very shocked to see that there were a group of Grade 7 students making up paper arm-bands depicting the Swastika...
Grade 7 - Nearing the end of the year, we were given the harmless task of writing Christmas cards to people in our class. Jarred innocently wrote and personally delivered a card to Wade, however it returned a moment later with the words "Fuck you" written on it. Just to be a smart arse, Jarred showed the card to the teacher and Wade got in trouble!
Wade was in the garden for some reason and Mrs Hickmott told him to get out. Brendan yelled out "Get out of the garden!" and from that moment on for many years to come, we would amuse ourselves by pushing somebody into the garden and then telling them to get out of it!
The Pole Root and Space Man made their first appearences during late primary school. There were many fine Pole Rooting moments throughout Grade 7, including Joshua chasing Daniel all the way to the back oval, Nicole telling the teacher that we were about to Pole Root her (if we had succeeded she would have been the first and only female Pole Rootee) and Jarred's record of 4 Pole Roots in one lunch break (later broken by Eric in Grade 11). Space Manning involved putting a bin over somebody's head - most people had this done to them at least once throughout the year. The art of both Pole Rooting and Space Manning became much more refined during the high school years...
Early
High School: (Yr. 8-10)
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Brendon got suspended for telling the librarian she was "full of shit."
The likes of Gavin and Brendon amused themselves by sliding library books underneath the shelves and cupboards. No wonder there were so many books missing after stocktake!
Brendon and James had a fight in maths class. The teacher yelled out "Stop It Boys!" Gavin continued the tradition of yelling out "Stop It Boys" for years to come.
A popular pastime of ours was to pull the hollow rubber doorstops from off the wall and stick them to each others foreheads. The janitor eventually glued all the doorstops to the wall, but until then the fact that someone had a dick-like object stuck to their head was quite entertaining.
A guy called Bradley was walking along outside the Resource Centre one day when - completely out of the blue - he jumped up and punched a hole in the roof. It took the janitor about a week to patch it up, but in the time that it was left uncovered we threw just about any conceivable form of rubbish up into the hole.
Daniel purchases his pencil case, which he said will never be graffitied on. Later on, Kerin offered 10 bucks for Daniel to keep the case till the end of grade 10. It ended up lasting all the way through to grade 12.
There were two computers in the Resource Centre called OPACs, which were used to access and search through the library catalogue. One of the many ways to piss the librarian off was to hold down the escape key on an OPAC for a long period of time, as the computer would start beeping and often wouldn't stop for a number of minutes. It was also funny to unplug the network cable from the back of an OPAC and watch people try to work out why it wasn't able to search for anything.
Derek put epsom salts in Amanda-Jo's milkshake.
Daniel stole Ben's ruler out of his pencil case and gave it to Jarred one afternoon on the bus. When he got off at Mobil he flushed the ruler down the toilet.
Derek dared us to tie him up with rope, claiming he could get out of any knot. After tying him up, we dragged him around on the grass and left him with the a bunch of grade 8ers. The only reason he got out was because a teacher made us untie him.
During science class one day in grade eight, Brendon and Amanda Jo were having an argument, calling each other "stupid bitches," etc. Brendon got fed up with her so he ran out in front of the entire class and kicked Amanda Jo's bag across the floor, the contents sprawling out everywhere. The teacher proceeded with angry ravings and asked Brendon to apologise. Brendon turned to Amanda Jo and said "I'm sorry... you COW!"
Gavin got caught trying to unlock the Resource Centre door with a pair of scissors. When he was told to go to the office, he exclaimed "Brendon come too!"
Shit Bottles (bottles with rotten milk, softdrink and food in them) began making appearances. They were often kept in the rafters in the roof for many weeks but somehow always get found out by the cleaners.
Brendon's birthday party: Kerin sprayed deodorant on his hand and then lit it up to create a cool visual effect. Unfortunately, he forgot that he had deodorant under his arms so when he went to put his hand out his shirt caught on fire. Eric also got flicked in the forehead that night.
Eric went psycho when he realised that someone had put a brick (taken from the pathway) into his bag.
Gavin won a teddy bear in the vending machine at the shops. It didn't take long before its stuffing was ripped out, its ears ripped off and the remaining material shoved into a Sprite bottle. We used the teddy-bottle as a variant of a football and kicked it around during our lunch breaks; all was fine until some bastard kicked it on the roof.
We managed to get our hands on a huge piece of wood - kind of like a mix between a railway sleeper and a garden post - which we named "Ben's Toothpick." It remained in the Resource Centre garden until we left school, and it would occasionally be taken out and hurled onto the pavers, where it would make a loud noise. After we left school, the children that took over our area renamed Ben's Toothpick to "Stumpy," as they believed it had a stumpy-looking penis on it. It has since been removed from the garden.
Jarred broke the record of continuous whirly-twirly blowing. From memory, he lasted around 1 minute 34 before a more hyperventilating high than any drug could offer...
Chris lent Mick his set square one day, but it came back in two pieces. From then on, every time Mick walked by our area Chris would remind him about what he did... "You snapped the set square, you're a set square snapper!" He never heard the end.
Rodger had long hair!
Kerin came to school one day with a sports bottle full of alcohol, containing something like rum & coke from memory. Everyone who was there had a sip and we went to class in a surprisingly good mood.
The early high school years saw an attempt at collecting "blue things," which are the small round seals found inside the lids of soft drink bottles. Around 300 were collected and stored in the side pocket of Daniel's bag. When we decided we had enough, they found their way into Eric's bag, only not just in the side pocket, but all throughout his books, pencil case, lunch box, etc. He discovered and disposed of the multitude outside the manual arts block; there were blue things laying around there for days!
Kerin definately wasn't the English teacher's pet. One day he walked into the class, and without even doing anything he was told to get outside.
Daniel had a transparent yellow "Shatterproof" ruler in his pencil case. Brendan scraped off the A and replaced it with an I, then removed the R. The ruler then became known as "Shitterpoof." When it finally broke down the middle (after countless hours of testing to see if it really was shatterproof), Daniel attatched the broken halves to a hinge. It was the first ruler that could fold away into the pencil case for easy storage.
Kerin bought a 2 Litre milk from the tuckshop but couldn't manage to drink the whole thing. So he climbed on someone's shoulders and placed the half-full bottle in a kind of "hole" in the ceiling created by four poles joining together. Nothing much was thought of it until we returned from school holidays two weeks later and found a huge bite mark in the bottom of the still-elevated bottle that had been eaten out by rats or some other such creature. We could only imagine the poor rat taking a nibble into the bottle only to be drenched with a gush of rotten milk!
Brendan began to place his unwanted vegemite-covered biscuits on a pole outside the Resource Centre. This was later to be known as the "Mouldy Pole."
We establish an exclusive club called "Jump Club." This is where everyone put large items such as school bags in a big pile on the ground, after which people would take a run-up and jump over the pile. Eric could well be noted as the most enthusiastic jumper and he would make a fool of himself by actually taking his membership in the Jump Club seriously.
Farmer Joe, the New Zealand sheep farmer first appears in Science class.
Jarred took to drawing "Mr. Platinum" symbols everywhere - this was a stick figure of a Chinese man who appeared on the logo of Mr. Platinum blank CDs.
On one of the computers in the Resource Centre, somebody opened up the "LOGOS.SYS" file (the file that displays the sentence "It is now safe to turn off your computer") and changed it to say "Turn me off you fucking idiot." Around 2 months later, one of our teachers took Brendon aside in class and told him "I know what you did to the computer in the library... blah blah blah... you could get into big trouble... blah blah blah... change it back." It wasn't Brendon who did it and we never changed it back.
One day in Science, Mr Allan mentioned that he hadn't fed his pet fish in over a week so they were probably starving. Animal rights activist, Kerin, unwisely threatened to dob Mr Allan into the "RACQ!"
Gilbert used to come over to the Resource Centre area, where he would be instantly swarmed with people trying to tackle him and bowl him over. Sometimes we would all end up out on the grass in a pile-on situation, with Gilbert either on the bottom being squashed or Gilbert on the top squashing everyone else. Some people even found enjoyment out of jumping on his back and have him spin around to try and get them off.
Kerin invented a movement known as "The Foot Thing." In performing The Foot Thing, he would run up to someone, leap off the ground and wrap his feet around the legs of the unsuspecting victim. They would both in turn fall to the ground, causing a great deal of humiliation on the victim's behalf. This move was often the icebreaker for a pole root or a pile on.
In the case of an unsuccessful pole root, possibly due to the victim crossing their legs or starting to cry, somebody would yell out "Steal his shoes!" The unfortunate young man would then be rendered without footwear for quite some time. Later on in our schooling career, people such as Duce automatically got their shoes stolen regardless of whether or not they were in for a pole root. We would often throw the shoe(s) up into the rafters in the ceiling and the victim would have to work out their own way to reclaim their footwear.
One time on a Saunders Beach camping trip, Daniel and Graham chased Chris and Kerin a kilometre up the beach with a bucket of water, with the intention of getting them back by wetting them. Little did they realise that there was a whole frigging ocean off to the side and they probably would have wet at least one of the guys if they didn't run with a full bucket. On another night at Saunders, Chris did something to upset Daniel, who got him back by taking an egg out of the esky and squashing it all over him. Daniel awoke the next morning with egg stains all over his shirt. On yet another Saunders night, some drunk bastard pissed all over Jarred's fishing rod...
We held a going away camping trip for Kerin by the creek at the back of Daniel's place. Wade got drunk off one cup of Passion Pop and Kerin upturned the canoe, hid himself in it and started yelling out "I'm a potato!". We ended up walking through someones property in the middle of the night because a drunk Brendon wanted to find the beach. Kerin passed out on a bus stop and Brendon almost ran in front of a car. It was decided that Daniel's parents had to be called to pick everyone up from the road on the other side of the creek. Kerin didn't even end up bloody leaving.
Later
High School: (Yr. 11-12)
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Daniel, Kerin and Justin went camping down at Bluewater beach. Some pissed bastard at a beach party thought Kerin and Daniel were trespassing on his property so he held them both up by the throat and threatened to beat up Kerin in a boxing match.
Another camp down the back of Daniel's place, again to say goodbye to Kerin. This is where Wade drank the petrol! Kerin actually left this time, but unlike SOME people he actually bothered to keep in touch with us.
Brendan and Daniel went for a ride to the dump one afternoon and found an old but working guitar, a box for CD storage and a perfectly good animal cage. We opened up the cage, tied it to the back of the bike with a piece of rope we found and pulled it back home along with our other new toys.
A girl that nobody liked called Swan was trying to sweet talk Kerin by saying "hey, baby" along with other such flirtatious and enticing phrases. Graham and Chris started laughing and making fun of Kerin, who then threw a hot dog at Swan. She still liked Kerin afterwards and probably still does to this day.
Jeremy had a fair share of vandalising one day after he pulled the entire irrigation system out of the area that we sat in. There were uprooted pipes laying around in the garden for weeks.
A shit bottle that had been fermenting for many a week was taken down from its resting place by Daniel. Unfortunately, he dropped it and the rotten contents splashed all over everyone; Brett ended up having to go home. Daniel only just managed to escape the major pole root he was to be given that day.
After a One Act Play rehearsal one weekend, Daniel and Brendan went to the shop to wait for their lift home. Brendan was happily swinging on a pole out the front of the shop when some tough-looking guy walked up to him and said - completey out of the blue - "You're a fuckin' poofter, you know that!"
Graham managed to "melt" the imprint of a prize-winning blue thing into a blank blue thing and scored two free Cokes from the tuckshop.
Geography classes in grade 11 saw the advent of the Justin Files, where Chris and Daniel would record every stupid thing that Justin said or did in the back of their book. We had no idea at the time that they would ever find their way onto a website such as this one.
Mr. Hourigan got bitten by a fish.
Graham got in trouble in Science one afternoon and was told to leave the room. He left the room... and never returned again! The little bludger decided then and there to leave school altogether!
Eric got eleven pole roots and one arse drag in a 20 minute lunch break!
A pot plant made its way into Eric's bag. It created the same psycho effect that the brick-in-the-bag episode did earlier on.
Alcohol and fire are two very illegal things to be dealing with at school, but we made fun with with both of them in the one go! It was found out that Coke bottle lids filled with isopropyl and set alight create this awesome effect where the plastic melts, but you can't actually see why it's melting because of the clear flame that the alcohol gives off. We went though quite a few batches of isopropyl in performing this little trick, during which we also discovered that a few drops of the substance on the tongue produces a cool tingly sensation. So not only were we setting fire to it - we were drinking the shit as well!
Brendan got sick of eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, so in true Stop It Boys spirit he would rip bits off his bread and throw them straight upwards so they stuck to the ceiling. Everyone would gather around and wait until it fell, then we would all go crazy and throw another one up hoping it would stay there for longer. The peanut butter stains are still there today!
A game known as "Keep It Up" was invented thanks to those who drank Breaka milks. It involved a group of people standing in a circle, trying to keep a milk carton off the ground by tapping it up towards someone, volleyball-style. Eric could never master the art of the upwards tap - for some reason he always spiked it down to the ground.
Whenever a Breaka carton was finished with, it would be thrown up towards one of two areas in the middle of the roof where the gutters and rafters met. The aim was to get the carton up in the roof without having it fall back down. At its peek, we probably fit 10 cartons in each side of the roof before someone knocked them all down or the cleaners took them away.
Mick had a fetish for playing DJ Jean's "The Launch" every time we were in IPT class. From time to time we would all spontaneously start humming the tune. You could say that "The Launch" and "Smoke On The Water" were our unofficial IPT musical anthems.
We held a camping trip at Toolakea as Kerin had decided to come up and visit us over the end-of-year holidays. He thoughtfully supplied everyone with a Christmas present - some of these including Jarred's packet of Christmas cards, Rodger's toy frog with one eye and Daniel's lacey red G-String. A number of things happened during that night. Chris bought along his raft where he, Kerin and Graham paddled about 200 metres out to sea. We all walked to the park, where Kerin used the public phone to prank call a teacher from school who unwisely had his name in the phone book. Kerin and Graham found a wheelie bin and dragged it from the street all the way down to the beach where we were camping. We made them take it back. Brendon, Wade, Daniel and Graham decided to go for a walk at about 1:00 AM, crossing two creeks thigh-deep in mud before finally ending up at Sauders Beach. We walked over to Jarred's place (he couldn't camp that night as he was working the next morning) and called out to him, with the hope he would get out of bed. Not responding to us, we left a callsign on his front lawn out of gravel from his driveway. It was a Mr. Platinum stick figure with the initials J.F. written underneath. Apparently the next day his mum made him clean it all up and stones flew everywhere when he next mowed the lawn!
Not too long afterwards, we camped at Saunders on New Years Eve and Kerin got himself in the shit by trying to take on one of the guys who we believed trashed our tents. Kerin drank 10 beers that night and fell asleep outside the tent in his swag, oblivious to the surrounding sprinklers that turned on at around 3 AM. In the morning he spewed up something that looked like lint.
On the same camping trip, Kerin was for some reason rendered without money, nevertheless he wanted to buy a drink from the shop. Daniel offered him two bucks to eat a raw piece of steak, and although he didn't finish it all, his attempt was still well-deserving of the money. However the next day, still strapped for cash, Kerin and Daniel were walking down the street when they noticed a worm-looking thing stuck to the road. It had obviously been run over numerous times, and on closer inspection, they came to the conclusion that it was the bit of plastic attatched to one of those "sticky hands" that you get from novelty shops. It was peeled and scraped from off the road, taken back to camp and three of us offered him $2. So, for the handsome sum of six bucks, Kerin washed it under the tap, popped it in his mouth, nearly regurgetated it but managed to keep it down in the end. A champion effort, Kerin!
Kerin, Brendon and Chris were walking around near the Willows when Kerin noticed that the Hungry Jacks sign was on the ground; it had probably just been repaired. He approached it, wrenched the "S" from "Jacks" off the sign and proceeded to hide it under his jacket and walk off. Not even a hundred metres down the road, an unmarked police car pulled over and the boys had to return the "S" after a good talking to.
Darren, Brendan and Jason get kicked off the computer system for using a monitoring program to record peoples passwords.
There was this kid, probably grade 8 or 9 and lucky to be 140 cm tall, who walked around with a huge bag that looked like it was twice the size of him. From that, we devised the Kid To Bag Ratio, and we would comment on anyone who walked past with a bag that was too big for them.
Tim got his hands on the key to the photocopy card machine. He swiped his card and gave himself a limit of 99,999 photocopies. Seeing as one photocopy was normally worth 10 cents, he could easily have sold that card for $10,000...
Much amusement was found in pulling up the rubbish bin that was chained to the pole. The bin would sit there, suspended in mid-air, waiting for a teacher to find it. One time some teacher came up and asked us to put the bin down, so Rodger kicked it, it fell down and the plastic from the bottom right hand side broke off! Another time we pulled the bin up only to half height so when the teacher asked who did it we blamed it on Duce because he was the shortest in the group.
There were rumours going around that the leaf of a particular plant called "Lion's Ear" produced a narcotic effect when consumed. A couple of us happened to have this plant growing at home, and on occasion would take a few leaves to school for everybody to nibble on. It was arguably the most bitter, shit-tasting vegetable matter that we had ever eaten in our lives, but it did live up to its word by supplying a very slight headspin to those who had some. Then Jarred one day decided that he would professionally mix up the leaf of Lion's Ear with some nitromethanol... we ended up with a flammable, tongue-tingling, hightly toxic, opaque green liquid. Who needs drugs?
Stop It Boys: The Website was created by Daniel. He found himself in some pretty deep shit for doing so.
A routine known as the "Slappy Thing" was invented. This is where two people would approach one another, hold out an arm each (as you do in a monkey grip), count to three, draw back and slap the arms so hard that they both went red and stung for at least the next 20 minutes. It was usually Brendon, Daniel or Jarred that would do this; nobody else seemed to enjoy the pain.
Jarred finally cracked it when the English teacher got him in trouble for stealing and eating some mint lollies that were left behind from another class. Just like Graham, he never returned to school...
Duce squirts a container of sauce onto his face!
Us guys outside the Resource Centre applaud non-stop for the entire length of second break (20 minutes). At the least, three people were clapping and there were about 20 clapping at the peak time. Despite numerous threats from passers-by, applauding became an amusing thing to do in times of boredom.
Brendon and Rodger come out of class one day with some round-cut timber (which they called "happy wood"). After using it as a frisbee, a rolly thing and as something that makes a loud noise when it hits the ceiling, Daniel placed a banana underneath it. He proceeded to stamp on it, unaware that the contents of the banana would end up all over Chris and his bag.
Another attempt was made at collecting the blue things from the lids of soft drink bottles. This time, we collected well over 400 in a matter of months, with Duce and Wade probably contributing the most. However we didn't end up doing anything with this collection - as a matter of fact they now reside at Duce's place and the last time we heard from him he said the numbers were over 600.
The mould on the mouldy pole reached new heights when an egg from a burger was smeared all over it. Gilbert then spat a mouthful of chips on it.
Possibly the worst ever shit bottle was made at Daimon's place when he, Arnel and Daniel had finished jamming. Some of the ingredients included lemonade, milk, vinegar, bi-carb, egg, oil, food colouring, leftover chips, prawns, cereal, bird shit, rotten vegetables, coffee, cornflour and tomato sauce. We left it to ferment in the sun for a while, and as it was the night of the musical, brought it to school later that afternoon. Contrary to what you might think however, when the bottle was opened after a week or so, the smell was not very overwhelming at all. Maybe the sweet smelling stuff cancelled out the shit smelling stuff, I don't know...
Eric got handfulls of leaves and rubbish put into his bag while he was off buying something at the tuckshop.
Daimon, Wade, Daniel, Brendon, Chris and Gilbert create history by walking around the outer fence line of the school!
We found a length of rope lying around at a rarely used part of the school. The next day, Daniel tied this rope around the handle of the bin and threw it over the rafter. You could then sit on the seat opposite the bin, pull on the rope to open it and simply throw in your rubbish. Unfortunately, the cleaners untied the rope before the end of first session so we couldn't show it off.
Daimon created and publicised "Gilbertfest 2001." The aim of Gilbertfest was to lure Gilbert to a strategically planned-out area and surprise him with a Pole Root. On our first major attempt we must have had 20 people trying to get him down with another 50 or so spectators, however the attempt was ruined by a few members of the Anti-Gilbertfest group. On the last day of school, we so close to having him Pole Rooted but he started whining and complaining (and bullshitting, as was later found) about a sore ankle so we had to let him go. To this date the feat has not yet been performed.
Duce's lunchbox used to belong to his brother, whose name on the side had faded away. Over the old name was written "Peter," however the "N" from the old name was still slightly visible. Duce therefore had another nickname added to the list... "N-Peter"
Shaun banged his head against a pole while playing handball, almost knocked himself unconscious and had to go to hospital to get stitches in his head.
Phil got put on a Level 4 for putting the "Finger" program in the Startup folder of a number of school computers. Nobody would believe that it wasn't a virus.
We almost Pole Rooted Sonia at the Strand. If the attempt had been successful, she would have been the first female the receive one. Rodger did manage to steal her shoes, though.
During a camping trip down at Saunders, Brendon, Chris, Daniel, Jarred, Rodger and Wade walked about 5 k's to the mouth of Black River. We carried down Chris' raft, which was inflated and set out to sea with Chris and Jarred as passengers. They successfully paddled barehandedly across crocodile-infested waters from the Saunders Beach to the Bushland Beach side of the river, turned around and came back, conquering yet another exciting Stop It Boys adventure. On the walk back home, we were all rudely yelling out at some pissed guys in a tinny who obviously decided enough was enough and proceeded to speed towards the shore. They were yelling back and shining their spotlight at us, and we had to hide in the bush for about 10 minutes before they finally gave up and took off.
We wanted Wade to grow a mullet. Through a great fundraising effort and high publicity, we raised approximately $40 from various people around the school (about ten of those dollars were five cent peices!) to go to the Wade Mullet Foundation. The man himself couldn't say no to the offer and proceeded to grow his hair. He then gave all the 5 and 10 cent pieces to Duce, who went to the tuckshop and bought each of us a carton of milk.
On one of the last weeks of school, the grade 9er shitheads came over to hassle us, like they usually did. This time, however, they brought sticky tape, and they managed to tape Rodger's arms together. He needed our help to free himself.
One particular morning we were sitting around our area like usual when Jeremy walked up to say hi. Not that there was anything wrong with that - until he showed us that he had embedded a sewing pin at least two centimetres into his arm. Why, nobody knows.
With grade 12 comes the often daunting task of going for your provisional drivers license. While it took some people two or three goes to get their license, Wade's first go at it takes the cake out of all the stories of failure. He had just been through the pre-exam talk about what is going to happen during the test and was asked to start the car and commence driving. For some reason though, the key wouldn't turn in the ignition. What the hell is going on here? Examiner's verdict: "Take it out of steering lock next time. Instant fail." He didn't even get on the road! (Second time lucky though, hey Wade!)
During the last week of school, some smart-arsed little kids decided to throw water balloons at us. A teacher witnessed the whole thing and for no reason got shitty at *us* for provoking them.
Throughout the course of the year, Duce got thrown in the bin, his shoes got stolen numerous times and he received an uncountable amount of Pole Roots. Despite this crap that we kept giving him, he remained with us from start to end. Good sport, Duce.
Eight of us piled into the Kombi and rocked up to the Graduation with Brendon's 12-inch sub blasting out Thunderstruck.
We stole some Maccas trays one night and drove out to an unused road. Gilbert backed his car over the two trays so there was one under each rear wheel; he then put the handbrake on. Because his car is a front-wheel drive, he was able to take off with the trays scraping along the road behind him.
Thanks to Clancy, we now have info on exactly how Gilbert came to be so drunk on the night of Graduation. Clancy was drinking tecquila slammers that night and also had some home brew rum. Gilbert was big mouthing, saying that he could handle anything she gave him (alcohol that is). So she gave him half a glass of home brew and a slammer. 5 minutes later everyone got kicked out of Michael's room and went to go upstairs (via the elevator!) It wasn't until the elevator doors were shut that Clancy realised Gilbert looked like shit (more than usual that is). Clancy: "How you feeling there Gilbert?" Gilbert (trying to stand): "I feel just fine...told you I could handle m..SPEW! CHUCK! GROSS!" He spewed all through the elevator and all over some guy, don't ask who. He had to be dragged into the hallway when the elevator finally stopped... That's just one of many reasons why the school is now banned from staying there! Gilbert also got his eyebrow shaved off and woke the next morning on a balcony. He was still sick at Kearney's place the next night!
Brendon got accused of assaulting the Cactus Jacks waitress. After being told that there were no tables left (there were clearly about five that were not yet in use) he let the waitress know exactly what he thought of her. At the last minute they decided that we could have a table, but you should have seen the eye contact between Brendon and the waitress during the rest of the night.
Rodger and Gilbert smashed up both their cars during the night of Chris' street party just before Christmas. Rodger hit a palm tree and Gilbert hit a taxi.
Gilbert stood in his own piss at Saunders Beach on New Years morning, 2002.
Justin threw some McDonalds rubbish out of the window of Daniel's car down Dalrymple Road one night. We did a u-turn at the next roudabout, stopped by the rubbish and made him get out and pick it up. Then we drove off without him. Returned about 5 minutes later to find him walking up the road with the McDonalds rubbish still in his hand.
Here's a freaky one. Daniel and Chris were driving around one night and decided to visit the cemetary for something to do. Straight after we conjured up this idea, Silverchair's song, "Cemetary" played on the radio. As if that wasn't enough, later on that night we picked up Justin and drove up Mount Stuart. On the way back down, the first song to play was "Like A Soldier" by Live; if you're unfamiliar with this song, the first line of it is "I just come down from the mountain." That's not all either - the most recent musical coincidence was when Chris was delivering a fridge at work and the Dire Straits song "Money For Nothing" came on (the chorus goes "We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen delivery, we got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these colour TVs"). Weird!
The early hours of the morning on the 16th of July 2002 saw a great occurance where Chris, Daniel and Justin attatched some Stop It Boys banners to the Victoria Street overpass. There was a banner on each side of the bridge which ensured that people travelling either in or out of town via Stanley Street got a taste of us. As they were only made out of butchers paper, the larger banner facing the city was close to falling off the next afternoon, however the smaller one on the other side was still perfectly intact. Despite the larger one being a little tattered and torn, both banners actually lasted for around a week when somebody obviously removed them.
At around 10:30 pm on the 4th of October, Brendan parked his car (also carrying Chris, Daniel and Jarred) at Maccas Lakes. We walked from the Lakes to Maccas North Ward via Ingham Road. Along the way, we were yelled at by many passing motorists, we unsuccessfully rang Daimon to see if he would pick us up, we walked under a street light that was making a clicking noise and we put bets on how long the walk would take us. Once we got to North Ward we simply hopped into the other two cars we left there and and drove back to the Lakes so Brendan could pick up his car. This pointless activity wasted one hour, five minutes and 55 seconds of our lives.
We held a camping trip to Balgal Beach on the 5th of October, 2002. In attendance were Brendan, Chris, Daniel, Gavin, Gilbert, Greg, Jason, Kerin, Natasha, Sally, Wade, as well as some other people. Rodger was the one who suggested we go to Balgal (which is a bit of a bastard to get to for most people - it's around 50 kilometres out of town) because we had never camped there before. In the end he didn't even show up! During the night, Brendan changed Graham's name to Greg (Gra- ham becomes Gra- eggs and ham, which shortens to Gra- eggs, which shortens again to Greg). We made a pathetic attempt at a fire - it lasted for about an hour and flames never rose higher than about 30 cm. Wade mixed up and drank a chunky concoction of Raspberry Cola, Scotch & Coke, Strongbow, and Mudslide. When Kerin left, he reversed his car down the road until we couldn't see him anymore. Gilbert admitted he took a dump in the public toilet and that he had a foreskin. Once most people had left, we wrote a song and sang nursery rhymes using dry vocals.
On the morning following our night at Balgal, after Brendan and Sally had left, Chris, Daniel and Wade all piled into Gilbert's car so he could take us home. The car was packed so full of shit to the point that you couldn't see out of any back window, so it was just our luck that the frigging car wouldn't start. Battery troubles. After finally managing to push start it, we got back in only to find that the amount of weight in the car caused the rear tyres to scrape against the car body! We unpacked a lot of the gear and Gilbert drove back to the carpark. In true Stop It Boys style, however, the car conked out and we were unable to get it going again. We rang Jason, and after getting him out of bed he agreed to help us out by bringing a replacement battery. To save strain on Gilbert's car, we also rang Wade's parents to ask if they could take Wade and Daniel home. There we were, sitting around, waiting, Gilbert passing time by flicking his lights on and off... 'Hang on,' we thought, 'the lights shouldn't work if the battery is stuffed.' So Gilbert turned the key for one last time and the stupid car started perfectly. Gilbert and Chris pissed off as quickly as they could. Daniel and Wade waited for another 3 hours before they got their lift.
Daniel, Gilbert and Justin were cruising around town when they stopped at a traffic light behind a paddy wagon. Gilbert noticed somebody moving around in the back so we opened the window of the car and attempted communication. The guy yelled straight out to us, "I remember your number plate, don't you forget that!" Later on that night we saw another paddy wagon (or possibly the same one!) speeding along Victoria Bridge with its rear doors open and flapping around in the wind.
Gilbert got up to his old tricks at Justin's & Natasha's Birthday Party. Among other things he dropped and rolled, touched the electric fence several times and didn't feel a thing, wrecked Brendon's (Justin's brother's) mobile, spilt shitloads of alcohol everywhere, drank a drink that consisted of scotch, coke, salt, cigarette ash and ant, talked subconscious garble most of the night, got cigarrette butts flicked at him, sang in the rain, got wet, and finally fell of a chair. (Thanks to Rodger for remembering all of that)