Phil's Funnies - Stupidity In The Human Race
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In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products: 

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - 
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. 

2. On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists: 
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. 

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - 
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. 

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - 
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. 

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - 
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. 

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - 
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM 
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. 
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) 

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - 
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A 
SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 
MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. 

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - 
OPEN OTHER END. 

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - 
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? 

10. On a Sears hairdryer - 
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. 

11. On a bag of Fritos - 
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. 
(The shoplifter special!) 

12. On a bar of Dial soap - 
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. 
(And that would be how?) 

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - 
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. 
(Too late! You lose!) 

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - 
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. 
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.) 

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - 
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. 
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) 

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - 
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. 
(As opposed to use in outer space?) 

17. On a Japanese food processor - 
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) 

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - 
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. 
(No, really?) 

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts 
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. 
(I'm glad they cleared that up.) 

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - 
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. 
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) 

21. On a child's superman costume - 
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. 
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) 

22. On some frozen dinners: 
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. 

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: 
FITS ONE HEAD. 

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. 

25. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: 
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. 

26. On Nytol sleep aid: 
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. 
(Duh!)