Back in the 1850's and 1860's Americans were assured in published papers written by the most respected medical doctors of the time, that amputating half of the skin from a boy's penis (serious surgery euphemistically called "circumcision") would cure masturbation, which doctors said caused paralysis, hip trouble, urinary incontinence, sloth, and spermatorrhea (ejaculation for any reason other than procreation).

In the 1870's American medical doctors insisted that circumcision would not only cure masturbation but also idiocy, moral laxity, headache, clubfoot, bladder inflammation, spinal curvature, lameness, clumsiness, hysteria, malnutrition, and epilepsy.

In the 1880's medical doctors declared that circumcision would still cure masturbation and also blindness, nervous tension, restlessness, irritability, facial tics, rectal prolapse, indigestion, heart disease, diabetes, deafness, and even crossed eyes.

Then, in the 1890's American medical doctors announced that circumcision would cure masturbation, impotence, elephantiasis, gangrene, tuberculosis, eczema, excessive saliva, hypertrophied tonsils, and swollen feet.

In 1900 American medical doctors proclaimed that circumcision was still the best cure for masturbation and also for premature ejaculation, dyspepsia, hernia, nervous exhaustion, and diarrhea.

In the decade after 1910 American medical doctors soberly affirmed that circumcision cured masturbation, dropsy, hydrocephalus, nocturnal pollutions (wet dreams), excessive sexual passions, and the compulsion to rape.

In the 1920's American medical doctors writing in JAMA confidently pronounced that circumcision cured syphilis as well as masturbation. (In that same journal in 1927 America was assured that castrating all Negro men would protect the "virtue of White women.")

In the 1930's American medical doctors certified that circumcision cured masturbation and promiscuity.

In the 1940's American medical doctors authoritatively swore that circumcision cured masturbation and prevented venereal diseases and cancer of the tongue.

In the 1950's American medical doctors still maintained that circumcision cured masturbation and priapism and asserted that it prevented cervical cancer.

In the 1960's American medical doctors were positive that circumcision cured masturbation and painful intercourse and prevented smegma (that white guck you saw in the corners of your eyes in this morning), penile malignancy, and prostate malignancy.

Even in the 1970's American medical doctors still warranted in several prestigious medical journals that although masturbation didn't cause diseases, circumcision would prevent masturbation and sexual abnormalities as well as penile cancer, infections of the glans, urinary tract infections, and of course nightmares.

By the early 1980's American medical doctors had grudgingly accepted that circumcision didn't prevent masturbation so they suspended their 130-year campaign against the "evils" of masturbation but still promised that circumcision prevented penile cancer, cervical cancer, urinary tract infections, and kidney failure.

In the 1990's the American medical community was showing signs it had nearly come to it's senses when the American Academy of Pediatrics decided that circumcision was not necessary for good health or hygiene and only prevented a few very rare cases of penile cancer in elderly men and maybe a few urinary tract infections in infants that could easily be treated with a shot of antibiotic. But of course doctors should still offer the service to the parents of little boys.