As the sounds of someone stumbling around reached his ears, he grinned and leaned back in the chair. Justin finally wandered into the room and sat down at the table after getting a cup of coffee. This close to feeding, he usually ignored breakfast because of the taste. After his first two attempts to eat right before he fed, he quickly learned to avoid food and just wait.
They spent the day puttering around the apartment, washing clothes and generally remaining quiet until they had to get ready to go to work. As they headed downstairs to walk to the bar, both men slipped on sunglasses to cut the glare of the fading summer light. When they entered Starlight, they called out greetings to Viki, Gabrielle, and Dionne before heading to the stage to warm up.
It was a pretty full house as the men played and sang to the audience. In their new careers as “lounge lizards”, as Justin so affectionately called them, they tailored their musical choices to the clientele, but stuck to classics—melodies that seemed lost in the technopop and rap/rock that was prevalent in the industry. In the case of the Starlight audience, their choices leaned towards classic R&B; Smokey Robinson, the Temptations, pretty much anything Motown was likely to end up on the play list. The crowd liked it, filling the snifter with bills. Justin dragged Gabrielle up on stage with them to sing a song, and the audience loved that, too. She rolled her eyes at the young man as she escaped the stage, but she winked at Lance before taking orders from a group near the stage.
Around two in the morning, the crowds cleared out, leaving only the diehard regulars who were there for the drinks and the familiarity. Lance kept the music soft, and Justin didn’t even use the microphone as he lounged on his stool. They watched as Gabrielle and Dionne called cabs and escorted people out the door. Justin hopped off the stage to help wipe down tables and stack chairs, still singing. The waitresses joined him, their voices ringing through the room as they worked to clean up. When he finished stacking a chair, he turned and stopped abruptly.
“Justin.”
Justin moved backwards toward the stage, never taking his eyes off the man in front of him. The three women at the bar watched the scene unfolding in front of them, and Viki reached for the shotgun she kept under the counter.
When his legs hit the back of the stage, he dropped down onto the wood. Lance looked over at his friend, the music stopping suddenly as he looked to see what had Justin spooked.
“Joey.”
The man looked over at Lance. Seeing both of his friends still alive was a shock, and he pressed his hands against his face as he began to cry. Justin stood and wrapped his arms around the other man, not surprised when Lance joined him in the hug.
Viki sighed in relief then handed an envelope over to Gabrielle and motioned for her to deliver it. She walked over, reluctant to interrupt.
“James?” Her voice was soft.
Lance looked over his shoulder before stepping away and wiping his eyes. She smiled in understanding before handing him the envelope.
“Here’s your money. Randy’s is in there, too.”
“Thanks, Gabrielle.” He grabbed the tip jar and pulled out the bills, passing most of it to her. “Can you split this with Dionne?”
“You shouldn’t do this, James. It’s your money.”
They had the same conversation the night before, but Lance was persistent. “You guys do the hard part. We’re doing something we love, and we’re doing okay. We want you to have it.”
She looked at him then looked at Justin, who nodded over his friend’s shoulder. “Take it, G.”
Smiling and nodding, she folded the bills in her fist. “Thank you. We appreciate it. See you guys tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” Lance smiled and turned back to his friends. “Let’s go home, guys.”
The two men led Joey out of the bar, waving their goodbyes before turning left outside the door and walking toward their apartment.
Joey looked around at the sparsely furnished living room. It was nothing like the lavish homes both men had owned before. Flopping onto the sofa, he stared at his friends, afraid that if he blinked they would be gone.
“Why?” The plaintive sound tore at Justin, and he turned watery brown eyes towards Lance.
Sighing, Lance sat down on the sofa next to his friend and wrapped an arm around Joey’s shoulders. “This is so hard to explain, Joe. I’m not sure you’ll believe me, and I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to understand.”
“Try me.” The words were soft, but demanding. “I cried…we cried for days. What was so important that you felt you had to fake your deaths and leave?”
Justin sat down on the other side of Joey, tilting his head. “What do I look like, Joey?”
Joey looked his friend over, seeing the copper-colored hair and blue eyes in a face that reminded him of yesterday. “You look like Justin. Like you always did…well, other than the hair.”
“Don’t you find that a little strange? I look like I always did. Joe, I’m always gonna look like this.”
He looked back and forth between his friends, seeing the differences in hair, but their faces were unchanged. It was as if they had not aged a day.
“What’s going on?”
Justin looked at Lance and nodded, allowing the older man to try and explain things. Joey’s eyes started to glaze over right about the time Lance spoke of Justin’s embrace. By the time he finished, Joey had covered his eyes with his hand and was leaning back against the sofa cushions.
The three of them sat in silence for a long time before Justin finally cleared his throat. “Joe?”
“Hmm?”
“You okay?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m perfect.” He sat up and looked at them. “Two of my best friends aren’t dead…well, let me rephrase that. They’re undead.”
Lance winced at the sneer in his friend’s voice. “What did you want us to do, Joe? Look at us. We still look the same. You can only cover up so much with makeup, and the plastic surgery line wouldn’t have lasted long. If we hadn’t left, there would have been too many questions and not enough answers.”
Joey got up and paced the living room. Every so often he would stop and stare at them then pace again, muttering under his breath. He didn’t know they could understand every word he spoke, and the anger and pain running through his comments made them hurt.
“Why?” He stopped suddenly and looked at Lance.
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you embrace the rest of us?” Joe dropped onto the floor in front of the sofa.
“I embraced Justin so that he wouldn’t die, not out of some weird idea to keep the group together forever. He accepted the choice. He made the decision knowing he would have to leave you and his family. It wasn’t easy.”
“It hurt like a bitch. I think I cried for a year after we left.” Justin stretched out on the sofa, tucking his feet under Lance’s leg.
“I don’t think I’ve gotten over it.” Joey’s voice was sad as he stretched out on the floor.
“You’re doing well, though. You did those movies, and they were really good. I think we both went to see them about four times. We’ve watched Chris doing the FuMan thing. JC looks great, doing real good with his writing and producing.”
“But we’re not complete. We haven’t been since we heard that you were dead.” Brown eyes closed in exhaustion.
Joey felt as if he had been running for years then abruptly stopped because he hit a wall. Seeing the two men brought up all the feelings he tried to suppress, burying them beneath women and alcohol and whatever work he could find. For all their success with their current careers, the three remaining members of *N Sync were lost.
“You look about ready to fall over, man. You wanna stay here tonight?” Justin looked down at his friend.
“Thanks.” Joey gave both of them a small grin.
“Take my bed.” The younger man helped him off the floor and pushed him towards his room.
“You don’t need it?” Once in the room, Joey looked around and caught sight of the pictures of Justin’s family and group shots of the guys.
“Lance and I are going out. We’ll be back before dawn.” He quirked a grin at the other man.
Joey nodded faintly, sitting down on the bed. “Bye.”
“Later, man.” Justin winked and walked out of the room.
Stretching out on the bed, he wrapped his arms around a pillow, picking up the scent of Justin’s shampoo and cologne. The smells brought back memories of happier days, and he cried a little more.
The next morning, Joey stumbled into the kitchen and found a pot of coffee sitting on the counter. He smiled when he saw the Superman cup, filling it to the rim. For a moment, time slipped away, and he was back in some room getting ready to do another show. That little fantasy ended when Lance walked into the kitchen, running fingers through long dark strands. With a little gasp, Joey set the cup on the table and rubbed his head.
“You okay, Joe? The coffee’s not too strong? J’s gotten a lot better at it.” He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the other end of the table.
“It’s fine. For a moment there, it was like old times, ya know?”
The other man looked down into his coffee, rubbing the rim of the cup with his finger. “I know. But it isn’t old times, Joe. We can’t go back. We just keep moving forward.”
Joey nodded, and the two men sat in silence. After an hour passed, Justin made his way into the kitchen and grabbed some cereal. Sitting down, he ate quickly and methodically, and Joey grinned at Lance.
“Some things never change.”
Lance chuckled.
Joey left after lunch, telling them he had some appointments for his next role, but that he would see them later that night. They nodded and smiled, hugging him tightly before watching him walk away.
Justin stared at the door for a long time. “Are we gonna have to leave again? I was just beginning to like this place.”
“We’ll see what happens, J. That’s all we can do.” Lance turned and walked into his room.
That night, they strolled into the bar, calling out hellos to the ladies before making their way onstage. Gabrielle brought a glass of wine for Lance and a beer for Justin, setting them down on the coasters on the piano.
“Hey, guys.”
“Ah, the fair Gabrielle. And how is my lady this evening?” Justin took her hand, bowing low and kissing it.
“Thinking that she should have worn the hip waders.” Chuckling, she shook her head and walked back towards the bar.
“Busted.” Lance laughed at the pout on the younger man’s face.
“Man, I can’t believe I’m losing my touch.”
Dionne walked by, and he smiled at her, winking when she blushed.
“Then again, maybe I haven’t.” He waggled his eyebrows at Lance before running through some scales to warm up.
They played a lot of jazzy numbers that night, and they got a really good response from the audience. Once again, when the crowd left and the regulars were shipped off to their homes, they helped clean up the bar. Instead of leaving right away though, Viki went into the kitchen and grabbed the burgers the cook had left for them. They gathered around a table and talked.
“So, what’s your story?” Viki picked up her burger and took a bite, licking off her fingers.
“I bet you ask that of all the guys.” Justin winked at her, and she chuckled.
“I’m immune, kid.”
“You sure?” He bobbed his eyebrows, drawing laughter from the other three.
“Not much of a story, really. We were working with some friends, and it got a little ‘weird’, so we decided it was time to part ways and try doing our own thing.”
“I think you guys are great. Have you ever tried to get a deal or anything?” Dionne munched on a French fry.
Justin shrugged. “We had one, but it sort of fell through. Nice while it lasted though.”
Lance nodded in agreement, concentrating on his burger and trying to ignore the press of Gabrielle’s leg against his as they gathered around the small table. Justin turned his gaze towards the three women.
“So what about y’all?”
“I own a bar. I go home to my boyfriend and my dog. I get up late, do my thing, then come to the bar and spread the joy.” Viki smiled as she munched on a fry.
“Boyfriend and a dog? Do they have names?” The young man picked up his burger and took a bite.
The owner grinned. “His name is Dwayne, and the dog is Luna. We’ve been together for five year, Dwayne and I. I actually met him here, and he gradually won me over.”
“I like this place. It’s got a good feel.” Lance picked up a fry and munched on it.
Viki nodded at him. “Thanks. It’s taken me a long time to find the right mix of people to work here.” She grinned at her waitresses. “The location helps, too.”
“It certainly is convenient to school.” The young Asian woman grinned at the people around the table.
“So what are you studying, Dionne? Going to UIC?” Lance looked at the young woman before biting into his sandwich.
Dionne nodded. “Psychology, with a minor in children’s studies. I want to work with kids. And working here helps cover what the scholarships don’t.”
“That’s cool. Kids need all the help they can get.” Justin smiled at her, and Lance could hear the rapid thump of her heart as her pulse raced.
“And then we have the fair Gabrielle.” Justin turned his head to catch the other woman’s eyes.
Resting her chin on her fist, she stared back at him. “What is your fascination with me, Mr. Lake?”
Justin mimicked her pose. “I’m always fascinated by beautiful, mysterious women.”
Gabrielle threw her head back in laughter. “I’m telling you, I’m bringing hip waders into work. It’s getting pretty deep in here.”
“You still haven’t told me your story.” He stole a French fry off her plate, skillfully avoiding the hand she raised to slap him.
“I came up here several years ago with my boyfriend because he wanted to try and get in with Second City or Steppenwolf. I ended up being the one getting parts. He took off one day, left me with a 3-year-old. Now, I’m raising a 17-year-old who wants to be a rock star.”
“How old were you when you got pregnant? Twelve?” The young man widened his eyes.
Gabrielle looked at him and laughed when she realized he really couldn’t tell how old she was. “Actually, I was 18. Joshua’s a great kid. Straight As in school, got a scholarship to UIC.”
“What’s he going to major in…besides being a rock star?” Lance smiled at her and realized he liked it when she smiled at him.
“Architecture. He wants to design affordable living space. Being shuffled around as he was growing up, having to live in some real dumps, made him want to see a change in the way things are for single-parent families. That’s the plan anyway.” She shrugged, but it was easy to see the pride in her eyes as she spoke about her son.
“Sounds like a great kid.” Justin watched his friend as he watched the woman next to him.
“He is. He really is.” She looked up at the two of them. “Do you think you guys could talk to him about music? If he wants to pursue that, I want to encourage him, but I don’t want him to be blind about what really goes on.”
Lance shrugged. “I guess we could. You up for it, man?” He turned to look at Justin, catching the young man’s gaze.
“Yeah, cool. When do you want to meet?”
Gabrielle wadded up her napkin and tossed it on her plate. “I dunno. I need to see what his schedule is with finals the next couple of weeks. I don’t want anything interfering with study time.”
“Gotcha. Just let us know, ‘kay?” Blue eyes smiled at her. He quickly scribbled their phone number down on a cocktail napkin and handed it to her.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Viki stood up and started to gather plates. “Time to go, boys and girls. Tomorrow is another day.”
“Why, yes it is, Miss Scarlett.” Justin drawled as he picked up his plate, ducking to avoid the napkin tossed at him.
They threw away the garbage and put the dishes in the sink then the men walked the three women out to their cars and waited until they were safely on their way. Turning, they walked towards their apartment. One of their neighbors was having a party, and they shook their heads to the invitation extended to them. Laughing at Justin’s commentary on their downstairs neighbor, Lance pushed the door open to their apartment. Joey was sitting on the sofa, staring through the open balcony door.
“Hey, Joe.”
“Hey, man. Why didn’t you come to the bar?” Justin tossed his wallet onto the hall table.
“Justin.”
The young man froze as he heard a voice from his past.
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