"Well honestly Alex, I’m not a porcelain doll," Maggie replied, trying to smile. "Besides, it’s only been a couple weeks, it might be nothing," she added. "That’s why we’re going to this place. To find out."

"Yeah, I know but-"

"But nothing. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine," Maggie said sternly. Then, trying to lighten the mood, she asked, "so where are we going exactly?"

"Well, it’s this place we go to sometimes if one of us newsies is real sick or something. Skittery went there when he broke his arm. It’s a dispensary, where you can get free medical stuff. Help and all."

"For free?" Maggie asked, confused. "I didn’t know they had places like that. I thought you had to pay."

"Well, yeah, that’s how most places are," Alex answered. "But the dispensaries are free. The only problem is that you have to wait in line a really long time, and they’re sometimes people watching you. Medical students, or something."

"Oh… will I have to take my clothes off in front of them?"

Alex paused for a moment. "Well, I dunno Maggie… I’ve never been pregnant before."

"Well neither have I," Maggie retorted. "And we don’t know if I even am."

"I know. I just… I’m sorry Maggie. I know this is hard, and we’ve never had to go through something like this. Either of us. But please don’t get mad at me."

Maggie sighed. "I’m sorry, Alex. I‘m just scared."

"Hey," Alex said, putting her arm around Maggie’s shoulders, "we’ll get through this together. Okay?"

"Okay," Maggie said thankfully.

Maggie shifted her legs again, trying to get comfortable in the plastic benches they had set up inside the dispensary. She and Alex had been waiting for almost six hours, and still hadn’t been called in. Alex sighed in frustration next to her, then got up and marched over to the waiting table. She glared at the heavyset lady sitting behind the desk.

"My friend has been waiting all day to see someone," Maggie heard Alex say. "When do we get to see a doctor?"

The lady looked at Alex in exasperation. "Is it an emergency?"

"Well, not exact-"

"Then you’re gonna have to wait."

Alex stalked back to the bench and plopped down next to Maggie. She took a deep breath, then turned and smiled brightly at Maggie. "I’m sure it’ll be any minute now."

Maggie bit back a grin. "You’re funny when you try to be optimistic."

The girls collapsed into giggles, and it was only five minutes later when the lady behind the desk called Maggie’s name.

"You’ll come with me, right Alex," Maggie pleaded. When Alex nodded in agreement, they stood up and walked over to the table. The lady told them the room number, and they walked through the door to their left.

The hallway was short, with only 3 doors on each side. Some were obviously bigger than others, and the building wasn’t made to be very soundproof, because they could hear voices behind the doors they passed.

"Well, here it is," Maggie said, looking at the last door on the left. Near the top of the white-washed door was painted a number 5. The girls stood there for a few moments before Maggie finally opened the door and walked in.

The room was empty. Alex walked in behind Maggie and looked around the room. There was a table with what they assumed were medical supplies on top and in the drawers, and three old chairs, practically falling apart. Seeing nothing else to do, Maggie sat down in one of the chairs, and Alex pulled another one next to her, also sitting down.

Only moments later, a doctor walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Hello, I’m Doctor Johansson," the man said, looking at Alex. "What seems to be the problem…"

"Maggie," Alex said, pointing to Maggie.

"Hello Maggie," Dr. Johansson said. "Now what can I do for you?"

"I uh…" she stuttered. "I think that um… I think I might be pregnant," she finished in a small voice, looking at the floor.

"Well it’s nothing to be ashamed of," Dr. Johansson replied. "It’s rather common, I’m told," he added, getting a grin out of Maggie. "Now I’ll just have a few questions to ask you, alright?"

"Alright," Maggie nodded.

"Good. Now how long has it been since the end of your last cycle?"

Maggie’s face turned a bright crimson. "Well. Um."

"Oh honestly," Alex said, cutting in. "It’s been five weeks, right?" Maggie nodded.

"Okay. And have you been getting sick in the morning?"

"No," Maggie answered, still looking at the floor.

"What about any trouble sleeping?"

"Well, yes, but that’s just nightmares," Maggie said.

"Alright. Do you work in a factory?" Dr. Johansson asked.

"No… Why do you want to know," Maggie asked.

"Well, there’s a problem with pregnant women being around lead," he answered. "It’s been found to cause miscarriages in some women. Well, Maggie, it’s probably too early to do an examination, but if you still haven’t started your next cycle in two weeks, then you probably are pregnant. I can’t say for sure at this time."

"Okay," Maggie said, finally looking back up at Dr. Johansson. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Of course. Have a nice day girls," he added.

Alex and Maggie got up and left the room. They walked silently back to the main door, and after walking through the noisy waiting room, got back out onto the street.

Alex finally broke the silence. "So what do you want to do now?"

"I dunno," Maggie replied. "We should probably go get something to eat. Wanna go to Tibby’s?’

"Sure," Alex said softly. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. I guess we’ll just have to wait another two weeks and see what happens." She looked at Alex. "I’m sorry you had to wait in that waiting room with me for so long, just to find out we have to come back."

"That’s alright Maggie. Besides," she added, trying to get a smile, "you know how much I like screaming children and angry parents."

This did get a grin out of Maggie, and the girls, feeling better, walked down streets of Manhattan, enjoying the beautiful day.

The next week passed slowly for Maggie. Every day she would wake up and tell herself that she had to go see Spot, and every night, she would berate herself for not having the courage to go. Finally, Thursday night, as she sat in the main bunkroom watching Alex play poker with the guys, she decided that Friday would be the day. She would ask Mush to go with her when they got to her room for bed.

"You sure ya don’t wanna play with us," Race asked Maggie, seeing the distracted look on her face. "I’d play easy on you."

"You wouldn’t go easy on anyone, unless you liked ‘em," Jack said. "Why, Race… you don’t like Maggie, do you?"

The circle broke out into laughter, including Maggie and Race. Between giggles, Alex added, "you know if you try to do anything with her, I’ll have to hurt you."

Race snorted. "Well den I guess I’ll hafta live my life alone. Woe is me," he added, dramatically. When the group finally calmed down, Race spoke again. "Seriously though Maggie, do ya wanna play?"

"No," Maggie responded. "I’m still trying to sell enough just so that I can get lunch and papers. I can’t give it all to you just for fun."

"Well hey, you’re getting better," Blink said.

"A little," Maggie responded. "I still don’t know if selling newspapers is for me… maybe I’ll go be a famous singer," she added jokingly.

"Can ya sing," Race asked.

"Kinda. I can get the notes, I guess… besides, if I just go up and shake my hips and wink, like Medda, it won’t matter if I can sing or not," Maggie said.

"Somehow, I can’t picture ya doin’ that Maggie," Jack said, holding back a grin. "You’re too… aw, what’s the word I want?"

"Sweet," Mush supplied.

"Kinda," Jack responded. "I’d say more like honest. When Medda gets up there, she ain’t being herself, she’s kinda acting, and you don’t strike me as the kinda person that would deceive othah people."

Maggie thought back to the day when she acted pregnant to sell papers and realized that Jack was right. She hadn’t yet been able to put her finger on why she felt strange while doing it, but he’d unknowingly figured it out for her.

"Good point, Jack," Alex replied. She smirked and added, "something that rarely happens."

"Aw, shuddap Alex," Jack laughed. "I’ve had a lot of good ideas."

"Like the one about the kittens and the tomatoes," Blink began.

"Don’t even bring that up," Race said, before Jack could respond. "You know he don’t like ta be reminded about all da stupid stuff he’s done." Race looked back down at his cards for a few seconds, then finally acknowledged Jack’s glare by looking up and grinning.

"You boys," Maggie giggled.

"Hey Mush, can I ask you a question," Maggie called into the washroom as she crawled under the blankets.

"Shoa Maggie," Mush’s echoing voice responded from the washroom. He walked out in only the pants that he slept in, and Maggie tried to keep her eyes from drifting to his chest.

"Can we go to Brooklyn tomorrow," she asked, trying to focus on his face.

Mush sat down on the bed next to her and carefully said, "you wanna go talk to Spot?"

"Yeah," she replied meekly. "I mean, there’s just some stuff that I need to work out, so I have to talk to him."

"Well, sure, we can go over there," Mush said.

"Thanks," Maggie said, relieved.

Mush lay down and got under the blankets as well, and rested his head on the thin pillow. Maggie stiffened next to him, and he immediately noticed. "What’s wrong," he asked.

"Uh, nothing," Maggie lied. As Mush had gotten into the bed with her, she’s found herself thinking that she wanted to be curled up with him. "It’s nothing," she added. ‘Nothing but loneliness,’ she thought, this time feeling like she was lying to herself. But she shook the thought away and tried to relax enough to fall asleep, though the conflicting thoughts of Spot and Mush running through her head were enough to keep her awake for awhile.

Maggie was careful to say nothing to Alex about her plan to go to Brooklyn. Knowing that Alex cared enough about Maggie to try to keep her from hurting was good most of the time, but it wouldn’t get anything accomplished with Spot.

When she and Mush were both down to 10 papers apiece, the started heading towards the bridge, finishing the last of their selling just a mile before they were into Brooklyn. Maggie inevitably found herself completely lost, and was glad that Mush, at least, knew the way to Spot’s lodging house.

They found the docks by the lodging house mostly empty, with only four of Spot’s newsies there. Dice was one of them, and the shocked expression was only on his face for a moment.

He walked over the Mush and Maggie slowly. "Was there somethin’ I can help ya with," he asked when he finally reached them.

"I need to talk to Spot," Maggie said defiantly, then, surprised at her apparent strength, quietly added, "is he here?"

"Nah, not yet. He should prolly be back soon though, if ya really wanna wait," Dice replied. "Are ya shoa ya wanna talk to ‘im?"

"Talk to who," Maggie heard from behind her. Her eyes widened slightly at hearing Spot’s voice, and she tightened her hands into fists behind her back, trying to get rid of the tension she felt. Maggie felt Mush’s hands close around hers, and she took a deep breath and turned around.

"You," she said, looking Spot directly in the eyes.

Spot sighed in frustration. "I thought I was done with you. Or didn’t ya get the point when I had me boys kick you out?’

Maggie bit her lip. "Well, I just thought…"

"What? You thought maybe I was jus’ kiddin’? Well ya got it wrong, doll. I don’t want nothing’ to do with you anymore."

"Even if I’m pregnant," Maggie retorted angrily, before she could tell herself not to.

"You’re what?" Mush and Dice both said, and after a few seconds of trying to deal with what she’s just said, Spot muttered, "aw, shit."

They all stood there in silence for what seemed an eternity, when Mush finally whispered, "why didn’t ya tell me Maggie?"

"Yes, Maggie," Spot chimed in, "why didn’t you tell him? You two seem to be so close," he scoffed. "At lease someone likes you, because I cert’nly don’t."

Finally letting go up her pent up anger, frustration, and hurt, Maggie stepped towards Spot and punched him in the nose, adding, "you bastard." Spot tripped backwards, more from the surprise of what she’d done than the force behind the punch, which was minimal.

Afraid of what might happen from her actions, Maggie quickly grabbed hold of Mush’s arm and dragged him down the pier behind her, hoping that Spot wouldn’t follow them.

After they’d walked a few blocks, Maggie suddenly halted, and Mush ran into her before he could stop. A shudder seemed to go through her body, and she fell to her knees, getting sick in the street.

"That must be the morning sickness the doctor told me about," she said raggedly, when she’d regained control over her body.

Mush knelt down next to her and put his arms around her shoulders. "Or maybe it’s just all da stress an’ anger an’ stuff catchin’ up with you," he whispered, then paused and took a deep breath. "Why didn’t ya tell me, Maggie?"

She looked up into his eyes, her own bloodshot and tired, and suddenly realized that she hadn’t thought happily about Spot in awhile. ‘I’m not in love with Spot anymore,’ she realized. ‘I haven’t been for longer than I’d admit even to myself.’

"Maggie?" Mush asked again.

"I was scared, I guess," she finally answered. "I was almost too scared to tell Alex, and it’s something I have to deal with on my own, and besides, we’re not even sure if I am. I’m going back to the doctor in a couple days to see."

"Maggie, you know I woulda helped you," Mush said. "I don’t want anything ta happen to you."

"I know," she trailed off, then looked down at the ground. Mush put his fingers under her chin and brought her eyes back up to his. Maggie found herself moving in to kiss him, finally admitting what she’s been hiding from herself for too long.

"Whoa, what’r you doin’," Mush asked, leaning back.

"I was… don’t you want…"

"Were you gonna kiss me, Maggie,?"

What she heard in his voice snapped her back to the pain that had been constant in the bottom of her heart since she’d first left Brooklyn. "I thought you cared about me," she whispered.

"I do, but not… I mean, this isn’t what I meant when I said I cared." He hated himself at that moment, putting her through more pain with all she’d been going through. "That’s just not what I want."

Maggie looked deep into his eyes for what felt like forever, then finally pleaded, "don’t you feel anything?"

"Not like that, Maggie. I’m sorry."

She looked at the ground again. "I am too. I didn’t mean to mess things up like this," she said dully. "Maybe we should just go back."

"Okay," he agreed, standing up.

It too Maggie a few moments to get enough control over herself to stand up, but she finally did, then started walking, her head down and her arms crossed over her chest, trying to hide her heart and feelings from the world, and from herself.

"Please don’t tell anyone about today," Maggie said when they reached the steps in front of the lodging house.

"Hey, I wouldn’t say anything about what you - "

"I mean Brooklyn, and my…" She looked down at herself. "My condition."

"Oh. Uh, yeah," he stammered. "I won’t."

"Why don’t you finish your selling today. I’ll just see you later," Maggie said. Mush took a step towards her, and she stiffened and turned, walking up the steps. She stopped as her hand touched the door, and added softly, "I think you should probably sleep in the main bunkroom from now on," then pushed it open and walked inside, letting the darkness of the room conceal her from the world.

"Hey, Blink," Mush called lifelessly across the street, "how’s it rollin’?"

"What’s wrong?" Blink asked immediately, walking over to Mush. "An’ where’s Maggie, I thought you two were together today."

"No, we ain’t together," Mush responded.

"Whadda ya mean, you ain’t… did somethin’ happen?"

"I thought she was still in love with Spot," Mush said, avoiding the question. "Did you know she wasn’t."

"So you two finally realized how ya feel about each othah, so what’s the problem," Blink asked.

Mush looked at his friend in confusion. "How we feel about each othah? Damn it Blink, you know I like Alex!"

Blink finally lost patience with him. He’d been watching Mush and Maggie together, hoping against all odds that they would see what he and Alex saw there, and it had seemed for the past two weeks that it was finally happening. "Mush, I know you better’n anyone else here. You don’t like Alex, not that way, so why da hell are you still trying to tell yourself that?"

"Oh, so now you know what I want, but I don’t? C’mon Blink, stop looking for somethin’ that ain’t there. You an’ Maggie both think that we… Aw, never mind," he ended. "I don’t wanna talk ta you right now."

Mush turned around and stalked off towards the Brooklyn Bridge, hoping to just get away from everyone and clear his thoughts. ‘Alex wouldn’t be trying to tell me what I… well, yeah, she probably would,’ he realized. ‘But anyhow, people don’t suddenly change their minds and start loving someone else. Alex is the one for me,’ he told himself stubbornly, and stepped onto the bridge, leaning over the side and looking into the dark waters, rough from the wind.

Alex walked up the stairs to the bunkroom and found the room strangely subdued. It was full, like usual, but the moods of everyone seemed lower than she could remember them being in awhile. She watched the boys in the room for awhile, and saw that many of them would turn to look over at her bunk.

"Um, what’s up guys," she asked quietly.

Race answered by shrugging, and jerking his head towards the bunk. She walked carefully into the room until she was far enough in to see Maggie lying on Alex’s bed. She was focused on the bottom of the top bunk, neither seeing nor hearing any of the world around her. Alex walked over and crouched down so that she was on the same level as Maggie, and still getting no response, reached over and carefully touched Maggie’s shoulder.

Maggie jerked up and drew in a deep breath, then noticing who it was, slowed her breathing and said, "oh, hey Alex."

"What’s wrong," Alex asked quietly, though the silence of the room was so profound that everyone could still hear her.

Maggie bit her lip. "Um, nothing," she lied.

Alex knew better than to push the issue, so she put her energies into taking the focus of the room away from Maggie. Soon, a large poker game was going in the middle of the floor, and some of the younger boys were in one corner of the room chatting.

Drifting in and out of her thinking, Maggie finally became aware enough of the room to know that she no longer wanted to be around everyone, so she slipped quietly out of the bunkroom.

Alex was one of the only two people who noticed Maggie leaving. She’d been periodically checking to make sure that none of the boys were bugging her, and that she was still awake. The only other person who saw her leave was Blink. He and Alex looked silently across the poker game at each other, neither knowing the depth of what had happened.

Alex waited another half an hour before she decided to go after Maggie, then grabbed the coins that were in a small pile in front of her and deposited them on her bed. She walked slowly out of the bunkroom and crept down the hall towards Maggie’s room. When she got to the door, she knocked softly.

"Yeah?" came Maggie’s muffled voice from behind the door.

"It’s me," Alex said. "Can I come in?" She waited, and was greeted with only silence, then finally opened the door.

Maggie was curled up on the bed, her arms clasped tightly around the pillow with her head lying at the top of it. She looked up to meet Alex’s gaze, and neither looked away nor allowed anything to show on her face.

Alex walked across the small room and sat down on the bed, and Maggie sat up next to her.

Maggie eventually broke the silence. "Did you know that I was in love with Mush?"

"I knew you would be, I just didn’t know how long it would take for you to realize it," Alex responded. "Maggie, what happened?"

"Well I guess I realized it today," Maggie said. She pressed her lips together tightly and added, "It all made sense. All of a sudden everything felt right to me. But not for him." Her watery green eyes caught Alex’s. "Why does it hurt so much," she whispered.

"Oh god, I’m so sorry," Alex said, putting her arms around Maggie.

"It’s different when he holds me, Alex," Maggie sobbed into her shoulder.