This article only deals with two extreme ends of this subject. Please remember that there is a lot of gray area between the two that I chose not to write about.
I was talking with a friend of mine at work last night about my basic requirements for a woman and he asked me a question that made me think. He asked me if I would ever date a woman who had children. My answer was yes, because I have before. I've been thinking about that tonight, and here's what I came up with.
When you talking about getting involved with a woman who was a child, or children, you have to think about she is looking for. Is she looking for someone for her, or is she looking for a father for her kids. If the child's biological father is still in their life, actually being a father and taking responsibility for the life he helped create, then she's probably just looking for someone for her, and that's okay. Just remember that even though she's not looking for a father for her child, you should be man enough to accept that child into your life if you're going to date the mother.
Now, on the other hand, if the child's father isn't in the picture and she's looking for a suitable replacement, that's another story. If you're going to volunteer for the job, you're gonna have to be ready and willing to do what's required. You have to be mature enough to help her raise a child that's not yours. If you're not able to handle it, then you need to let her know that at the beginning.
So, ladies, if you have a child or children, and you're looking for a new man in your life, let us know how it is at the beginning. Whether you're just looking for someone for you or for someone to have a family with, we need to know that ahead of time. That way, if the guy isn't up to it, he has the chance to tell you at the beginning and spare everyone trouble. And if he's a real man, he will.
Men, know what she wants going into the relationship and you'll save yourself, and her, a lot of pain. And if you're not up to what she needs, let her know that. It'll suck, but in the long run it really is for the best.
And as for me... I have no problem with either option. If a girl is looking for someone for her, I'll happily be that person. If she's looking for someone to help raise her child, then I can do that too. It's all a matter of knowing what is wanted.