I think this pretty much speaks for itself... and for the lack of sleep I'm usually suffering from when I blog.
I've been sitting here for a while, trying to find a good blog topic. Penguins... medieval medical procedures... why do aliens go for the whole anal probe thing... none of these seem to be working for me. So I think I'll just rant a little bit.
I've been very down and depressed this week... things just aren't going well. It seems like every time I think something good happens, something a billion times worse pops up. For example, tonight I saw an ex... that was bad.... then I got my first raise at work... that's good... then I spend 4 hours unloading trucks and I'm still hurting from it... that's really really bad. Then I met a girl that I was totally into and of course she had a boyfriend... that sucked so bad I was wishing for more trucks to unload.
It just seems like nothing I do can change this hell I've fallen into. For example, my pathetic lack of a love life. I've done everything I know to do to find someone... and for every small step forward I've taken, a dozen things have backfired and left me worse off than I was before. I don't know what the heck I'm doing wrong, but if anyone reading this does, please let me know. I do know that part of my problem is I'm a nice guy... you know what they say about nice guys. It's true. And even though I understand why... I can't change that part of me.
Want to prove the nice-guys-finish-last theory... ask any girl two questions. Question number 1: Do you want a nice guy? If they say yes, then ask: Can a guy ever be too nice? And when they say yes, you'll understand. For the record, ladies, that's why guys are dicks. Because they see what happens to the nice guys and they realize that if they are dicks, they'll have a better chance of getting laid. Sad as it is to say, I wish I was more of a dick, maybe then I wouldn't be alone. But I am who I am and like I said, I can't change that.
Hopefully, one of these days (and God please let it be soon), I'll find a woman who wants a nice guy... who wants someone who will actually care about them and not just see them as a sex slave... who will be there for them no matter what happens... who will hold them in his arms infront of the whole world and dare someone to say something about it... who will look into their eyes and tell them what he sees and want to hear what she sees in his... who will show and tell them the things and places and people who have made him what he is, and want her to do the same... because that's who I am. And if that's not good enough for you, or isn't what you're looking for, well I don't care... because I'm real... I am who I am and I won't apologize for it.