Janjan

Await

by Janjan Perez

            I looked into her eyes one more time… those beautiful, ignorant limpid pools of midnight awaiting the break of day to shed light upon long wasted deserts of incomprehension. Funny… for a minute there I thought those eyes were my own. No. It was only the reflection of my image upon her irises that gave me myopia. There was this split second that my face merged with her own. I sighed. Once more, her confusion led to mine.

            What is it about beauty and sadness? My soul gravitates towards kindred spirits who mirror this own darkness within me. I may laugh and be as bright as the morning sun which colors the treetops with evergreen hues, but beneath the tree’s leaves lie the shade… the hint of a shadow that never was.

            I wonder what things lurk behind the shadows underneath her eyes? Does she too understand the melancholy that I’ve always felt? Does she too walk half in bright sunny day, and other half in dusky twilight? Does she too know of the incomprehensible loneliness that gnaws at my heart like the darkness grows upon my tired soul?

            I am too afraid to ask her these questions… too afraid to break the reverie of her faraway dreams. I do not want to interrupt the dance of her breath as her shoulders rise to let all the oxygen in. Breathe, my love. Breathe all the life in. For one more day, I want you to live… for one more day I want the opportunity to walk on up to you and find out if you know that I am alive. For one more day, I can look forward to the hope of you finally realizing that I’ve always been here.

            One more day sets, and the sun’s dying rays distorts the image of my face in her irises. My love walks away as here I am again waiting for her return. Well… there is always tomorrow. And tomorrow, the ghost of a promise… a new day of hoping begins again.

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