02-23-1999

nightscapes

  

i hear the trembling of the rivers
as night turns to day
once again you rejoice
you who are such a lover of the night
tend to forget the solitude of my darkness
you embrace the sun with such exuberance
and loathe my moon with such passionate hate

 

still i give you freedom
to shower yourself with the clouds of daytime
and drown your pains in the blinding light
for i who knows how the world turns
shall expect your tears after sunset
i've watched you hide in my velvet shadows
a thousand times beforeyour heart soaked with bitterness
and your eyes filled with sorrow

 

no! you cannot run away from me
you may forget for now but not forever
my solace will lead you back to my embrace
i alone can give you comfort
away from the noise of day

 

yet you fear my coming
you are afraid i see too much
you know you cannot mask your feelings from me
--- that is why you hate me
you prefer sunlight with all its illusions and mirages
where reality is colored with white light
and your pretentious smiles erase their doubts

 

i shall remain..
night will always fall at sunset
and then my friend you shall see,
when you are tired of pretending to be happy..
i shall stay and hold you
and dry your tears away...

07-13-1998

after tequila shots

 

first light awaking
promising a new dawn,
     a new beginning
while some stars shed off their
     bright gazes,,,
the moon yawns in deep resign..
the skies tremble with my
     heart's longing
dusk has come and gone ...
the sun is dawning
torns wither with the new light
now i know why i live
     i live to cry,
         i live to die
     i live to love...
         and cry again...

05-20-1997

while you were sleeping

  

tonight i looked at you

and the stars stood still

i tried to lay my doubts aside

as i gazed into your eyes

i reached out to touch your hand

to erase my lingering fears

yet like rain it poured on me

the memories i've always hated

i tried to look at you

but my eyes were filled with grief

what happens then if time should come

that a butterfly should take you away from me?

my heart would break, you know it's true..

but to love really,

is to let go of you...

6-08-1998

from too much listening to cheesy love songs

 

i'm not crazy

it's just this feeling that won't let go

now i'm feeling more alone than i've ever felt before

if i try to see

what is there in me

maybe i could make this one a little better

wish i could say

i never really loved you anyway

but then i would be lying

no, i'm not crazy

it's the fault of the clouds that roll by

the sun's coming up soon

i didn't know i could be this lost

where will this road lead me to?

many times i wished you were here

burning lines in the book of our lives

borrowed phrases with no meaning

maybe songs could appease my mind

yes, i must be crazy now..

midnight approaching dementia

  

lost

in the whirling clouds of emptiness

doubt mingled with fear

like falling into

   the vast nothingness of nowhere

i hear the echoes

of an unsung lullabye

breaking the night's repose

unknowingly i hum it

as empty space fills with dead air

impatiently waiting

i choose to fall,

   not knowing the meaning of it all

hoping somehow

   light begins after this darkness