"Hmph, Love.  Bah humbug!," Ivan retorted as the elevator's door slid open.  Raffy followed him in.  "Huh?  What about it?," Raffy asked his best friend as Ivan punched the keys that took them to the ground floor.  "What about it?!  It's nothing but a complete waste of time!  I mean first you meet a girl.  You like the way she looks, and then... Boom!  You think that you're in love..." Ivan blustered.

     Raffy good-naturedly chimed in.  "Yeah, in love!  Ha!  Over what?!"

     "Exactly!  Nothing!  Your liking the girl makes you think 'Whoah!  This might be it!' but nooo," Ivan responded, his hands sweeping in dramatic flair.  "This 'two-people-made-for-each-other' business is a whole conspiracy.  Something the greeting cards made up to make a lousy buck."

     "Of course!  Like Valentine's Day.  Business as usual for the industrial conglomerates!  Sheesh, nothing's sacred anymore,"  Raffy lamented as he stepped out of the elevator.  Ivan followed and brushed by a newly-painted section of the wall.

     He frowned at the sight of Royal Blue paint on his rather expensive suit.  "I mean, take this whole sordid affair between Allyson and me.  How long has it been since I've known her?  Eight months?"

     "Nine," Raffy dutifully chimed in.

     Ivan took a Kleenex out of his portfolio and vigorously dabbed at the offending stain.  "Yeah well I remember that first day well.  Hah!  Stupid moron that I am, I got all goo-goo eyed!  'This is it,' I thought.   'This is the girl of my dreams.'  Ha and double Ha!  It must be all these corny shows they show on TV.  You know, those shows about how the hero always gets the girl in the end?,"

     "Oh yeah!  Hey remember 'Forrest Gump?'  Man, I loved that movie!  Do you remember how he carried Bubba and all of his soldier comrades out of that battle field?," the ever cheerful Raffy replied.

     Ivan responded, "Oh yeah.  That was a sad-scene.  But I think I like the part about where he marathoned all over the States better.  I mean that was a classic!  Gump's a total dumb-ass."  The two friends came out of the building.  They both got in Raffy's shiny, black car.  It had a "PRO-GUN" sticker on it.

     Raffy drove out of the Ayala Business Park highway and hung right to Escario.  "So what were you saying about love?," he asked his passenger.

     "This whole love business is a pile of rotting pizza crusts.  I mean, I loved Ally but was it enough to get her to fall in love with me?  Hell no!," Ivan said.  A red mole popped out of his left temple.  It usually came out when Ivan was flustered.

     "No?," Raffy asked.

     "No!!..." Ivan answered with as much feeling as he could muster.  "... No!  I loved her!!!  I gave her flowers on her birthday.  I make up all these corny jokes for her.  I wait for two hours for her to finish her job so that I could drive her over to that club of hers..."

     "Bukas Loob sa Diyos?," Raffy volunteered.

     " Right!  Bukas Pinto-something.  And what do I get?  'Sorry Ivan.  I'm not ready for a commitment.  I'm too busy with my work.  I have this duty to save the dinosaurs from extinction' - or something.  Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  That's what it all is to me," Ivan went on.

     "I thought you said love was something that Hallmark invented," Raffy asked.

    "It is," Ivan answered.

     "Then how come you said that you loved Ally?,"  his best friend replied.

     "Ah but I don't.  You see I thought that I loved her but I don't.  I've been influenced by society into thinking that I love her.  You see, it's this silly sentimental Filipino culture.  It made me believe that there is such a thing as love at first sight.  Oh sure Ally is pretty.  I even thought once that she was the most beautiful girl in the world.  But all that... all that is just the effect of subliminal messages that I got from overhearing these infernal April Boys music that my maid has been barraging my sensitivities with," theorized Ivan.  The gym came into view.  The car parked beside a huge acacia tree.

     "They should be castrated, those April Boys," Raffy agreed.  The two of them proceeded into the locker room and changed into their work-out clothes.

     "Ha!  She thought that she had me fooled with those cute eyes.  I knew her game all along.  She planned to toy with my feelings from the very start!," Ivan muttered as he pumped his biceps with the 30 pound barbells.

      "Women... (Huff!)... are cold... (Puff!)... hearted...(Wheeze!).. manipulators, " Raffy managed to gasp, in between tugs at the pulley weights.

     "Right.  That's how their mothers trained them to be ever since day one.  And I wouldn't have been suckered by Allyson's tricks too if it weren't for this sappy Filipino predisposition for romance.  Filipinos!  We're such complete jerkwads!," Ivan retorted from under the bench press, growling out loud for effect.

     "A nation of love-sick morons!," responded Raffy.  He began to do the high kicks as the aerobics instructor told the dancers to proceed to knee curls.

     Ivan continued.  "She thought she could capture my heart... Ha!  Nice try sister!  She probably thought that her getting close to me could affect me, but I knew better.  Oh no.  No chick could ever fool me.  No sirree-bob!  Especially not an amateur like Allyson!... " Ivan paused to consider something, then went on, "... but still, I played along with her game.  I thought, 'Heck, why not?'  So I smiled a lot when we were together.  I gave her those little poems that they wrote on those calling cards..."