Chapter 16

Warmnest. That’s what she felt. Warmnest. She felt that she was floating in the middle of nowhere, with that warm feeling around her, flowing through her. It was green everywhere, wherever she looked. Then, colours started to form. Red, blue, yellow, and then suddenly, all black.

“Ah…”

Aeris felt a terrible headache inside her head. She grabbed her head with her two hands and moaned softly. Slowly, the pain subsides and Aeris opened her eyes and looked around. There were crystals all around, with faint light shimmering from within them. She then looked around more and found herself on a bed, with a blanket covering her body. She pushed herself up and felt pain all over herself. It was like awaking from a deep sleep. A very deep one…

Suddenly, a though crossed her mind. She remembered herself at the alter, praying for holy, Cloud in front of her with his sword in his hands…and then, a very intense pain in her back. She remembered herself not having time to cry out, and then her vision fading, her body feels numb, unable to think…then blank.

She should be dead. The thought of that gives her the creeps. But now, she felt so alive, sitting on a bed, feeling pain once again. Aeris found herself dressed in a pyjamas like dress. She unbuttoned a few buttons of her dress and then she looked at her chest. There is no wound there. She felt for her back but didn’t feel any type of wound too. She started to get puzzled, and afraid. There is something very wrong going on.

“You awake?”

Aeris heard a man’s voice and quickly covered her chest with the blanket. She pushed herself back, partially afraid of the figure in front of her. The figure approached her and then sat down beside her on the side of the bed. Under the dim light, she could see that this man is around 40 years old, has messy brown hair and looked like a traveller that hadn’t changed for years. She couldn’t see any expression in him. Reminds her of someone…

“Lay down and rest. You needed it.”

That voice, though it sounded cold, somehow soothed her. She felt safer, convinced that this person will not harm her. Filled with questions, she asked.

“What’s…what’s going on? How can I be here?”

“You just saved the world from meteor. Now, just rest.”

Aeris memory flashed back again when she was in the warm, stream of green flow around her. She remembered more. She was with the lifestream, and the colours in front of her is indeed, meteor. Then, meteor was destroyed and all she saw was the darkness of the sky. Now she remembered. She summoned the lifestream to save the planet from meteor.

“I…I am…still alive?”

Aeris asked the man again. The man just nodded. Aeris just lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She looked at the ceiling and saw reflection of herself.

She got the shock of her life. She saw that it wasn’t her in the reflection. She saw someone else in the bed, staring at her and looked shocked too. She immediately pushed herself up and faced the man. She grabbed his arm and shook him.

“What…what happened to me? Who am I?!”

The man is calm as if he had expect this question from her. He calmed Aeris and then replied.

“Don’t worry. I couldn’t find your body so I have to revive you in someone else’s body.”

Aeris calmed down and then just kept quiet. She looked at the crystal and her reflection. She looked…like another person. Her looks had changed, but somehow she felt a sense of familiarity. Like she seen this person somewhere before. She shook her thoughts are lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. She felt extremely exhausted and she didn’t even know why. Then, she felt the person sitting next to her stood up and leaved. Aeris opened her eyes and looked at the man. Then, she spoke.

“Who are you?”

Aeris asked for the man’s name. The man just shrugged. Aeris didn’t understand at all. Then, the man spoke.

“It won’t matter to you.”

That’s all the man said before he left Aeris to rest. Never in her life she would thought that she will have a relationship with this man, and all the truth that will be revealed in a few years time.

Months have passed by since Aeris was revived. Aeris felt like she know this place well, and easily fitted into this quiet and isolated place. At first, she felt quite uneasy with the man that revived her, due to his coldness. But then, she started to get along with him, able to talk to him about many things. Strange enough, this man knows a lot about the Ancients and she would always take the opportunity to listen to what he had to say about the Ancients. This man always take time, sitting in front of the city, and stared away into the horizon. Aeris would tag along, spending hours asking about the Ancients and the man will not feel tired of answering her questions. It looks like a nice way to kill time.

Once in a while, the man will teach her a few defensive and cure spells. Aeris, that is an expert with magic, was impressed with what the man is capable of doing. Spells and magic that she didn’t even dreamed of is demonstrated by the man and she learned them with all her heart. Somehow, something inside her makes her capable of learning spells easily. She had a feeling that it wasn’t because she is an Ancient, but it was something else…that doesn’t matter. She didn’t want to know.

More days went by and Aeris started to get fond of this man. There is something in this man that captured her heart, somehow. She didn’t know what it is, maybe it is his coldness, maybe it is the hidden emotions, perhaps it is the long moments he would take to stare at the horizon…deep inside her heart, she don’t know.

Those were the peaceful days where she felt comfortable and would want to spend the rest of her life with this man in this place. She wouldn’t want to go back to the hectic civilizations, where anything could happen. She had became much more matured, not a cheerful girl like she used to be before. Instead, she became thoughtful, and filled with desire for peace and quiet. Maybe that how someone can be when they are in a peaceful place for too long.

Those days weren’t for long. After sometime, the man suddenly looked and acted strangely, like something very wrong is happening. Aeris asked about it but he always shrugged her off, and avoided her. No matter what she did, he wouldn’t tell her what happened. Days passed and finally came the day, where he said, he have to leave.

“You…are leaving?”

The man didn’t reply. He walked out of the city with Aeris chasing after him.

“You are going to leave me all alone here?”

The man still didn’t reply. He continued walking.

“When are you going to be back?”

The man stopped. He didn’t turn around and didn’t say a word. But something tells her that he won’t be back.

“Can I tag along…?”

Aeris said like a child that is afraid of loneliness. The man turned around and looked at Aeris. The coldness still in his eyes. Then he replied.

“It’s dangerous. You will get hurt.”

Aeris shook her head.

“I won’t if I have you by my side, right?”

The man listened and then turned around and continued walking. Aeris chased after him again and then shouted.

“I want to go back to where I came from. You will be going there, right?”

Aeris continued and the man stopped again. She knows that he will be going to the eastern continent. He is heading south, and there is where he could most possibly go.

“Why go back?”

The man asked Aeris. Aeris suddenly had a flashback and saw an older woman making soup in the kitchen.

“I want to see my mum.”

The man turned around and looked at Aeris once again. He looked puzzled.

“Your mother is an Ancient. You told me that she died when you were small.”

“But I am saying about my foster mother in Midgar. The one I grew up with.”

The man listened and felt that she got a point. Even after he left, Aeris would had gone back all alone. And this may be dangerous to her, with no one by her side. It is probably better to go together, and leave her somewhere in the eastern continent. That way at least it is safer for her.

“Just come along. Get packed and return here.”

The man said and sat down on the floor. Aeris had joy written all over her face and she ran back to the city to grab her stuff. The man looked up into the horizon and thought. He was wondering how he is going to leave her in the middle of his journey, and then continue a journey he left off years ago.

And so from that moment, the two started a journey from the City of the Ancients back to the eastern continent. They at first headed for bone city, and then for the dock that is under construction at the south of bone city. They will then take a ship to Junon and then head for Kalm, in search of Aeris’s mother. But on the way, the two get closer and closer to each other. They seldom talked but there is an invisible relationship between them. They would steal glances but avoided the moment their eyes meet. As days go by, the two became quieter and quieter. Nothing happened between them, until, until that one night…

It was like any other night of their journey, bright stars, nice and cool weather, just another night to rest after a long, tiring journey. But this night something was different. Aeris had fallen ill just that day after such a long period of travelling and exhaustion. The nearest inn is far away and the man can only hope for the best. Hopefully with the help of some medicine made out of herbs which he mixed, Aeris could recover quickly.

The man had set up a camp fire to keep Aeris warm and Aeris wrapped up in her sleeping bag, sneezing away and looked terrible. There is no way she will be well soon. Even though the two possess magic that could heal bad injuries, they don’t possess a magic that could cure a simple cold. Sounds stupid but there are some things that even magic couldn’t do.

“We won’t be going anywhere until you recover.”

The man said simply while looking at the fireplace. But Aeris felt a warm feeling in her heart. They had never stopped travelling everyday since the day they left the Ancient City. Somehow, she felt that he cared for her. Deep beneath those cold eyes…

“Achoo!!!”

Aeris sneezed again. This sneezed is louder that the others and Aeris looked even more tired. She really doesn’t feel well. The man looked at her for a moment, and then stood up and approached her. He took off his rag-like shirt and cover Aeris with it, over the sleeping bag. Aeris looked at the man, and the man just looked away and spoke.

“That shirt is made from a material that is cold resistant. It had kept me warm for many years.”

The man said and Aeris just listened. Though the shirt stink and is there are many holes, she felt a sudden warm feeling around her. She wondered, whether the shirt is really cold resistant, or, was that the man’s body heat?

The man’s upper body is now bare without his shirt on. Though the night was rather chilly, the man looked like he felt no cold. Aeris couldn’t believe that such a cold person would do something like this for her. Nobody other than her mother had done something like this. Not even Zack, not even…Cloud.

Cloud. Aeris suddenly remembered about Cloud, the person she believed that will be the love of her life. But she hadn’t seen her for many years. She had no idea what had happened to him and what his life is. Secretly, part of her wanted to come back is because she wanted to look for him, but something hold her back. Or more specifically, someone…

Aeris looked at the man that is still staring at the fireplace as though he was thinking. Though she don’t want to admit it, she started to have strong feelings for this man, after such a long time together. At first she admired his skills and knowledge, and was attracted to his coldness. But then, she felt that she started to fall in love with his hidden feelings. The hidden side of him. She wanted to know more about his hidden side more.

Aeris shook her thoughts. She felt like she betrayed her love for Cloud, and she shouldn’t end up with this man. She tried to stop thinking, but then, a though came by. It’s the person that hold her back from loving Cloud.

It wasn’t the man in front of her. It was…Tifa. She can’t bear to break Tifa’s heart.

“Feeling better already?”

The man asked Aeris and Aeris just looked at the man. The man is looking at her and when their eyes meet, the man quickly looked away. Aeris just continued looking at him. The man felt uncomfortable and spoke.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Aeris didn’t reply and the man felt even more uncomfortable. Aeris stared at him for a while and then moved closer to him. The man turned around. Aeris felt a little embarrassed and looked away.

“You shouldn’t…”

The man said. Aeris felt her heart beating and breathing faster. She felt like her feelings for him had been felt by the man. She just kept quiet.

“Us together will do no good. It will not last.”

The man continued and Aeris kept quiet.

“I am not capable of being by your side for long, I will leave you one day and you know it.”

The man talked even more.

Aeris didn’t say a thing and then she looked at the man, with his back facing towards her. Aeris took a deep breath and then she moved towards the man and leaned against his back. The man closed his eyes and didn’t react.

“You are afraid.”

Aeris said. The man just listened. She saw through his heart. She knew what he was feeling.

“You don’t talk much these days. Suddenly you talked so much, you must be hiding something.”

Aeris saw though deeper into the man’s heart. The man didn’t know he was so transparent.

“I am afraid…”

The man spoke softly. Aeris could hear it clearly through his back.

“I am afraid…that I will fall in love with you…”

The man confessed and suddenly an invincible warrior looked so fragile. Aeris wrapped her hand around his waist and the man held Aeris’s arms. The two didn’t let go until a long, long time.

The night passed by and the second day, Aeris recovered from her cold and they continued their journey. But as each night came by, they have to face each other again. At first from reluctant to being together, they started to accept each other, building up feelings, sharing emotion, wanting to be in each other’s arms, trying hard to control their emotions, don’t care about everything, to sharing…the same sleeping bag. During the journey, they felt like the world is just for the two of them. Nobody and nothing could break them apart. Until…the journey ends.

It was night again and the night was like the night where the two confessed to each other. They are now in Midgar area and they could see the place where proud Midgar once stood. They are now a close couple, and the man is capable of smiling. But a few days ago, the man suddenly looked very disturbed and would reject Aeris’s love, becoming cold as before. Aeris felt a sense of fear in herself.

“Aeris.”

The man called for Aeris after he finished setting the campfire. Aeris walked towards him with a smile, trying to cheer him up.

“Remember that I once told you that I am going to leave?”

Aeris heard this sentence and her fear had came true. She hoped that it was a false alarm.

“Here is as far as I can bring you. Just go straight up north and you will find Kalm. You should know this area better than me.”

The man said and then started to walk away from Aeris. Aeris was so stunned with what the man said and she couldn’t believe her ears. She chased up after the man but the man turned around, looked at her with a mean look, and then roared at her.

“I told you before that this relationship won’t last but you still came towards me! Now you have to receive the consequences!”

Aeris was shock to see the man being so mean to her. She felt that he had suddenly became so cruel to her. She refuses to believe again and followed the man. The man turned around and then cast a lightning spell in front of Aeris. Aeris ducked and she fell backwards, devastated in what she was experiencing. She then saw the man disappearing into the darkness, and then, she was alone.

Aeris felt like she just lost her soul and her will to live. She tried to cry but she couldn’t. Everything had happen so suddenly, that she had no time to think about what to do and how to react. She was stunned.

It was after a while, Aeris started to have tears forming in her eyes and she buried her head in the ground. She felt her heart not only broken, but torn apart viciously. She felt anger of being dumped just like that. She felt cheated, being fooled, and loss confidence in life. She had no idea that a relationship so beautiful could end up in a short moment just like that.

Her eyes were sore.

Her throat was dry.

Her heart was in pain.

Her mind was being tortured.

Her hair was being brushed by a hand.

Aeris slowly looked up and saw the man, the person that just dumped her in front of her, brushing her hair, looking at the ground, with tears dropping onto the ground. He had somehow turned back.

Aeris looked at him but with doubt instead of joy. He was back, but for what?

“I can’t do it…I can’t just break your heart like that…I am sorry…”

The man said and Aeris continued looking at him. He looked like he had cried for a while. He had cried for their relationship, their love, too.

“Why, why do something like that to me?!”

Aeris said and then hammered against the man’s chest. The man grabbed hold of her and then hold her his arms, pressed her against his chest, and leaned his head against hers. Aeris stopped fighting back and just cried and soaked the man’s shirt.

“If I don’t do it now, I am afraid that I will do more damage to you.”

Aeris knew that the man would say something to defend himself. But she would rather listen to a lie, than not listening at all.

“I tried to stop loving you but I couldn’t. Everyday I decided that I would pull out of this relationship but another part of me wanted more of it. I am sorry that I couldn’t stop it earlier…”

“But why? Why can’t we be together?”

Aeris asked the man. The man went silent for a moment. And then, he slowly spoke.

“I have an important mission to complete. And the end of the mission would mean the end of my life.”

The man said and Aeris went silent. She didn’t know much about his past. It was mysterious. Somehow, she felt that she should believe it.

“There is no way that I would let you follow me. I will not let you die when there is such a long life in front of you.”

Aeris remained silent. She really wanted to follow him but she know that he will surely refuse.

“You are a very nice person. You will surely find the love of your life somewhere.”

Aeris wanted to say that the love of her life the person that is hugging her now. But those words couldn’t come out from her.

“Just forget that I ever existed. That I appeared in your life before…”

Aeris wanted to argue but she don’t have the strength to. She gave up.

“I am sorry for loving you.”

The man said and Aeris knew that there is no way that this relationship can continue. This is the end.

The man hold Aeris tight in his arms and couldn’t bear to let go. Aeris just rest against him, and let her tears flow freely on him.

“Can you do me one last favour?”

Aeris asked the man. The man kept quiet.

“Hold me till I fall asleep.”

The man nodded and Aeris just continued being in the man’s arms. She refuses to sleep, wanting to spend more time in this position but eventually, she felt asleep out of tiredness. She felt asleep in a pool of tear and on a warm body. This is the way she wanted this relationship to end.

The cruel tomorrow came and Aeris found herself alone again. She was being very devastated for a few days, but slowly, she gained confidence in continuing her life and then she slowly made her way to Kalm with a flower basket in her arms. She didn’t know what to expect in Kalm. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to know. Kalm is the only place she could go. She wanted to go to a place where she is known, no matter who the people are. She wanted to find out about her mother and the Avalanche. She too wanted to know about Cloud, how is he living his life, whether is he laughing, or whether…he is with Tifa. She didn’t want to interfere with them, what’s already happened had happened. She just wanted to take a peek of the two. Just a peek…

Life must continue. Never did she though life can be so colourful, after all that happened.