~*~
It was beautiful all day
The sweet voices by my side
And beauty without dispair everywhere
Joy in my heart forever
~*~

"Tessa Marie, I won't call you again," Kay spoke up the stairwell.

She turned to place her daughter's lunch into her little pink book bag. After the task was completed, she set the school bag on top of the desk by the stairway before walking into the kitchen. Usually, her mornings were more relaxed since she wasn't due in at the office until after she had dropped Tessa off at school. But because of a meeting with prospective new clients, she had to be in the office at 8:15 which meant that for once, Tessa would have to be on time for school.

"Tessa," Kay began, only to hear the soft pounding of shoes as they made their way down the stairs. Grabbing her briefcase and keys off the kitchen counter, she glanced out the window to see Mrs. McHaven already at work in her garden. Giving a forlorn look to her own lack of outdoor trim, Kay made a mental note to work on it this weekend. "Are you ready, Tess?"

Walking out into the entry hall, she watched as the seven-year old wonder slung her bag over one arm before pinning her hands on those bony little hips. With dark raven hair and eyes that matched her parentage, Tessa Marie was a complete sunshine when she wasn't in devilment. "Mom, I'm ready to go," she spoke, the sass evident in her tone. "And you know daddy doesn't like it when you yell at me."

"I wasn't yelling," she spoke calmly to her daughter. It seemed that with each day, the little sprite grew more determined to outwit either of her parents. And even though that gave Kay a sense of ease in knowing her daughter could always hold her own, it did nothing when she was battling against the wit of someone she had given birth to. "And besides," she began as she ushered them both out of the front door, locking it behind her, "your dad's not here. He'll never know," Kay sing-songed.

Twenty minutes later, Kay watched as Tessa sprinted off with a group of girls, peculiarly all wearing pink ribbons in their hair. God forbid the clique syndrome had already started to set in; she was only seven. But as she pulled her small sport-utility away from the curb, she couldn't help but feel happy that her daughter had found a place she herself had struggled so long to find. The rest of the commute to work was spent in quite contemplation of how far she had come in the past eight years.

Things hadn't been easy in the beginning. After first finding out she was pregnant, and hence telling Miguel he was going to be a father, things had seemed like they would never work out for her. She had struggled with the knowledge that in months, she would have a little human being to take care of while Miguel had struggled with his feelings for Charity. Several times during those early months, she had wanted to pull her hair out at the sheer craziness of it all. She was pregnant with his child, damn it! Why wasn't he giving any consideration to her?

But as Kay had entered into her sixth month of pregnancy, she had slowly began to see a change in Miguel. Instead of always being with Charity, either trying to work out their problems or trying to assure her that things wouldn't change with the new addition of a baby, Miguel had become more focused on her. He went with her to the ultrasound that had told them the sex of their baby; he had been by her side as she had picked out a cradle set, courtesy of her parents; he had even helped in painting the room that would become their child's nursery.

And by the time Kay had given birth to Countessa Marie Lopez-Fitzgerald, it seemed that Miguel had completely forgotten about his relationship with Charity, instead becoming completely focused on his new role as a father. Of course, Charity hadn't liked that. Neither had her own mother for that matter. Kay frowned as she pulled into the small parking lot of Maine Designs where she worked. She found a space and parked, took her briefcase in hand, and headed for the front door. No, Charity hadn't liked that Miguel had forgotten all about their supposed love but she had quickly learned to accept it. Weeks later, her cousin was on a flight to Chicago and Miguel was all hers.

Throughout those first months of their daughter's life, the two had grown closer and closer to each other. Miguel had become almost a second member of their family by the time he spent at the Bennett house alone. And his commitment to being a father... It had been so reassuring to see him take an active interest in his daughter. And she couldn't help but use that time as an opportunity to show him how much she loved him; how perfect things would be if he would just love her back. And it paid off, at least a little. He had asked her to marry him one night after dinner. With everything in her, she had wanted to say yes. It was what she had always wanted; what she had always dreamed of. But she had known that his proposal wasn't because he had fallen in love with her, but rather because he wanted to solidify them as a family. So, she had told him no and subsequently been depressed for the next five days.

That was until Miguel had one day sent her a bouquet of roses with a note tucked inside asking her out to dinner. That one night had changed things for them forever. Over dinner, he had asked her about her dreams, her wants, her wishes. Thankfully, she had been able to keep from professing her total and complete love for him and instead told him about her plans to go to school in Mathias and become a decorator. He had laughed at that, but said that he supported her through anything she wanted. And with that single statement, Kay had known that they were different. That things were different. And through the next few months, Miguel persisted in wooing her with flowers and impromptu dinners and picnics with their daughter. More than ever before, she had fallen in love with him and she truly believed during that time, he fell in love too.

Their wedding hadn't been anything close to her lavish dreams of a grand ceremony. It had been his immediate family and hers. Simone had been her maid of honor, Luis his best man. Their vows had been written by them together during a weekend in the mountains. It wasn't picture perfect, but it had been the most wonderful day of her life. She treasured the memories from that day as well as the many they had made since. Miguel was finally a part of her life, willingly so, and she had never been more happy as she was now.

Kay flipped on the lights inside Maine Designs before walking over to settle her attaché case down on the floor by her desk. She was very proud of her little professional niche in the world. Though Miguel had laughed at her all through design school, Kay had graduated at the top of her class, which she guessed wasn't really saying much considering the most she had to do to earn her degree was no her color scheme and how to match fabrics. Still, starting this business had been a dream of hers and with the help of her mother and father, it was now a reality.

Settling into her chair, Kay checked her messages as her eyes glanced at the clock. At just five minutes past eight, she was here early enough to greet the Richards, the couple who wanted to redesign their family room. When she had finished listening to all her messages and written the important ones down, Kay took her case and went into the meeting room to lay out her drawings for the upcoming meeting. Seven minutes later, Janet and Mark Richardson arrived and the three delved into plans for their new family room.

~*~
If I walk from the alive days
The sun and the moon behind me
I'll only need thoughts from my life
Tears sorrowfully on my heart
~*~

"Thanks Cory. I'll try and get back to you on that as soon as possible." Miguel waved goodbye to the dispatcher as he left the Harmony Police Department. As he made his way down the building's front steps, his gaze idly went to the beautiful blue sky above him. Spring had come early this year and all the citizens of Harmony were enjoying the fruits of the wonderful weather. Miguel checked his watch, noting that it was just a little past eight. He still had a few hours left on his shift, but he hadn't taken a break yet, so would probably head over to the Book Cafe to do that now.

Walking down the sidewalk towards his patrol cruiser, his thoughts ran over his activities for the day. When he ended his shift, he would go home to catch a few hours of sleep before needing to pick up his daughter from school at three. Just thinking about Tessa made a smile come to his lips. That little girl was his saving grace, the best thing to ever happen to him in his life. Sure, it had been hard to deal with the knowledge that he was going to become a father at 18; harder still when the mother was not the woman he had wanted to spend his life with.

"Hello Officer Lopez-Fitzgerald," a passing pedestrian greeted. Miguel smiled and waved, greeting the older woman as he stepped off the curb to the door of the HPD Blazer. As he got in and strapped on his seat belt, he pulled down the passenger side visor to look at the picture held in place by a thin piece of tape. In it, his wife and daughter smiled back at him, neither having a care in the world. He idly stroked the image of Kay before flipping the visor back into place. No, she hadn't been his choice for a mate, but she had made a great wife anyway and he could only say today that he loved her with all his heart.

Things between him and Kay had been rough from the day she had uttered the words, 'I'm Pregnant.' Miguel had never thought that one mistaken night of lovemaking would produce a child. And he had felt bitter at the knowledge that all his hopes and dreams for a future with Charity would die with the birth of Kay's child. His child. So he had fought it. He had fought Kay, and he had fought Charity for their love. But as time had progressed, and Charity became less and less willing to listen to his declarations of love, Miguel's attention had turned from one woman to the other.

He still remembered the day everything had changed. He had just come from meeting with Charity in the park. She had told him that she had applied for a scholarship to a school in Chicago. Hating the idea of her so far away, Miguel had tried with all his might to convince her not to go away, to just give things a little more time. But more than ever, Charity had been vehement in her decision to end their relationship. Miguel had left the park seething and angry. Driving with a blind fury, he had ended up at his mother's house and stormed through the door to find emptiness within. After a quick search of the house, a note on the refrigerator door had told him his mother was over at the Bennett home visiting with Kay.

He didn't know what made him go over there in the first place. He figured a little of it was anger that his family was so supportive of something he wanted nothing to do with. Either way, he had ended up at the Bennett house, where Mrs. Bennett had greeted him at the door and told him that his mother and Kay were upstairs in what she had called the nursery. As he had climbed those stairs that day, the word nursery had bounced around his head like the ball in a Ping-Pong match. And with every move he took closer to the room, his anger grew even more. He was ready to walk in and denounce Kay and the baby both when softly spoken words from within had stopped him.

"What will you do if Miguel doesn't support you with this child? A baby is a great responsibility Kay. I'm worried about you going through with this on your own."

His mother's words had only angered him more and he was ready to step through the door and give her a piece of his mind when Kay's softly spoken words had reached his ears.

"I'll love it. Him or her, I'm going to love this baby with everything that I have."

Miguel had frozen still, only his head moving forward to peek through the small open crack of the door and see the two women inside.

"I'm scared Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald. I've never been more scared of anything in my life. But I've also come to the realization that this baby is depending on me. Me. And because of that, I have to do everything in my power to make sure that he or she is loved and taken care of. If Miguel doesn't want to be a part of that, then I'm all right with it. I have to be all right with it. Because my only concern is that my baby never feels let down and always feels love. If anything, I know I can give this baby love. The rest... Well, it will just come."

His anger had seemingly dissipated with Kay's words. Miguel had quietly walked away from the room, away from the house, to be alone. What little of the conversation he had heard was enough to make him feel such a myriad of emotions, he didn't know what to do with himself. On the one hand, he still felt betrayed by Kay, by the fact that she had knowingly slept with him even when he had thought she was Charity. But even more prevalent in his mind was the fact that there was another party involved in this. Not Charity, who didn't want him as it was, but rather a small, defenseless little baby that hadn't asked for any of the turmoil going on in either his life or Kay's, but would be born into it either way.

A sobering thought if any, Miguel had sat in his car, thinking things over seriously for the first time. His own father had left when he was just a baby and as much as he would like to think he didn't care that he had been abandoned by the man, Miguel knew the truth behind that. Luis had made a great surrogate father; had always provided for him, for them all. But Miguel always wondered what it would be like to have his real dad around. To play catch with him; go to baseball and soccer games with the support of a father; to spend a weekend fishing and bonding together. He'd had all those things with Luis but it had just been...different.

Was that the kind of life he wanted his own child to have? Always wondering about its father, never knowing a face or a voice, or the warmth of an embrace? Seeking a connection that would not be known without the companionship of a father. Sobering indeed. In just a few minutes of sitting there, Miguel had realized that he would never wish any of those things on anyone, much less his own child. And from that point on, he had made a solid effort to be there for Kay and the baby they had made together. He had gone with her to an ultrasound, helped her to paint the nursery, and been by her side through the rest of her pregnancy up until the moment of birth.

As Miguel turned onto the main highway, he thought back to the day his daughter had made her entrance into the world. His mother had woken him up early, telling him that Kay had called from the hospital already in labor. He had quickly put on clothes and made it down there to find Kay sleeping peacefully in her hospital room. A wry smile crossed his lips as he remembered how long that had lasted. Once awake, Kay had become a total wreck; the pain unlike anything she had ever experienced in her life. But all throughout, Miguel had stood by her side, held her hand, fed her ice chips. And by the Grace of God, nine hours and twenty minutes later, their daughter had been born. Holding her that first time...Miguel knew he would never forget the feelings that had coursed through him in that moment. On that day he had made a promise to her - to always be there for her no matter what.

It had been hard to manage at first. Between his part-time job at the police station as a clerk and his full-time courses in Mathias, he'd had to struggle through being a father, and one who knew nothing about raising a child at that. Thankfully, both his mother and Kay's had been there to help them through things. Diaper changes, feedings, colic and all, they'd had the support of their parents through it, and without that help, Miguel figured they wouldn't have made it all. But through everything, even the hardest of times, something had happened. He and Kay had grown closer to each other. Instead of seeing her as his friend, Miguel had started to see her as a woman. And somewhere along the line, it had just felt right to be with her.

Ten months after Tessa's birth, things had come to a head. He had never felt so close to Kay as he did then. And he couldn't imagine living a life without her or his daughter. So one night after a family dinner, he had taken her out into the backyard, sat Kay down on a chaise lounge, and proposed to her. Surprisingly, she had said no. She wanted to marry him, she had went on to explain, but not for the reasons he was asking. Miguel had understood but instead of sweeping the idea under the rug or abandoning it, he had thrown his passion into convincing Kay that they should be together. And through that process, he had come to realize that he could love Kay, that in fact, he had fallen in love with her. Needless to say, six months later they were married in a small ceremony. Today, he could honestly say that it had been the most profound experience of his life, next to the birth of his daughter. He loved Kay more than he could ever imagine loving a person, and he knew that together, they would build a loving home and family for Tessa and the children they hoped to have in the future.

As Miguel's mind raced back from the past to the present, his eyes caught sight of something in the far distance. As the truck moved along the highway just a little bit shy of the speed limit, it became more apparent to him that it was a car that was stuck on the side of the road. Putting on his lights, he made his way towards the vehicle. Though they didn't get a lot of abandoned cars in Harmony, there were always a few stragglers here and there, mostly people who had thought they could make it on what little gas they had left. Pulling over behind the dark sedan, Miguel placed his vehicle in park, rolling down the window before opening the door. "10-5, Officer 489 with a 10-39 on Highway 5 about half a mile past of mile marker 73. 10-6," he spoke into the radio on his right shoulder. As he listened to the dispatcher repeat back his whereabouts, Miguel's booted feet hit the gravel of the roadside. Shutting the door behind him, he made his way towards the car.

He had only taken a few steps towards the car when he saw the driver's side door open, out stepping a tall, dark-haired man. "Hello," Miguel called out in greeting, his left hand settled over the butt of his gun. He took another step forward before the other door opened, this time a woman stepping out. Both walked to the bumper of their car, giving each other worried glances the whole way. His senses immediately on alert, Miguel stopped where he was. "Having car trouble?" he asked, looking first at the man and then to the woman. When neither of them spoke, he tried again, "Is there anything I can do to get you on your way?" Finally, the gentleman spoke.

"Ugh...um, no officer. We... We just stopped to take in the scenery. Nothing wrong here."

Miguel nodded, his attention never wavering from either of them. There was more going on here, of that he was sure. But not wanting to put them on alert, he nodded and started walking backwards towards the car, literally, so he could keep his eyes on them at the same time. It was only when a call came in over the radio did he slightly turn away from them, his mind instantly going to the words that were coming through the airwaves. He strained to listen to what was being said but his radio was on the fritz, something that happened every now and again. Deciding to return to the Blazer to listen from the radio within, he turned his back on the couple. As he neared the driver side window of his vehicle he finally heard the words that came out over the police radio.

"All Points Bulletin for a late model, dark blue sedan with two, possibly three passengers. At least one woman and one man. Wanted for armed robbery and attempted murder in Harmonosa County, Maine. Please be on the look out for these suspects. All are considered both armed and extremely dangerous Approach with caution..."

As the call continued to go out, the hairs on the back of Miguel's head stood up on end. Slowly, he turned to face the couple behind him. And for some reason, he wasn't at all surprised when he faced the barrel of a gun after completing the move. Instantly, his hand went to pull his gun as he opened his mouth to call out a warning. But in the blink of an eye, he heard the first gunshot. Miguel staggered back against the front end of the Blazer as he tried desperately to pull out his own weapon."Put your weapon..." his words were interrupted by the sound of another shot, and then one more, both in quick succession.

Even as he slid down the side of the truck to the gravel laden ground below, it didn't register that any of this was actually happening. Only when he saw the shadow of someone standing over him did he begin to feel a small measure of panic. He looked up, but could barely make out the profile of the person standing over him. When he was moved, jostled, a searing pain hit him nearly knocking him unconscious. He slumped over, the right side of his face hitting the hard ground and Miguel groaned in pain. He lay there, feeling as his gun was slipped out of it holster. And then the shadow was gone and soon after came the low hum of a car as it started and took off. He was alone. And he was shot.

Just like that the knowledge hit him and the first thoughts that came to mind were of his daughter. Tessa, who was only seven years old. Tessa, who always looked at him with total love and total trust. Tessa, who in a few minutes would no longer have a father. The last thought began to sink in and along with a sheer desperation to live. Bracing himself against the pain, he slowly turned on the ground so that his right shoulder was out from beneath him. He reached for the button on his radio, turning his head so he could transmit his call for help. "Officer down," he spoke, his voice already going groggy. "I...repeat." Miguel took a deep breath, his chest feeling as if a large animal was standing upon it. "10-74, Officer down. I've...been...shot."

His hand fell away from the button and he stared up into the blue, Maine sky. He was too young to die. He had so much to do, so much to live for. Tessa. Kay. Help would come, he knew, but would it be too late? But within seconds, Miguel began to feel the world fade away. His wife. His daughter. His mother. Thoughts of all the people in his life flipped through his mind like a photo album. He made a last, desperate attempt to sit up but it was futile. In minutes, Miguel's world began to fade to black and his last thoughts were of his daughter...

~*~

Deora Ar Mo Chroi translates to Tears Sorrowfully on My Heart in Gaelic. The title and lyrics used in the story were all taken from a track of the same name off the Internationally best-selling artist Enya’s album A Day Without Rain. The song is both haunting and beautiful and served as great inspiration for this chapter, and thus the story to ensue. Please join me on a journey of self discovery as a young woman struggles with the after effects of a life-altering event in Moving On.

~*~