Building New Bridges - VI - Friends?

"Break's over," Jake called as she quickly poked her head through the doorway into the back room where employees usually spent their half hour dff-time.

Carly looked to the clock on the wall and sure enough, thirty minutes had come and gone like that. Knowing she wouldn't be able to finagle another five minutes out of Jake even with a bribe, Carly moved her booted feet off the armrest of the battered couch onto the floor, making herself get up.

Even from the back room, the loud and raucus group of bar patrons could be heard. When she'd arrived a little after five, there had barely been anyone here. That had soon changed as the night progressed as many of the Port Charles citizens came out for a good time. Carly half wished she could throw away her cares and join them, but she knew better. Walking out into the bar, she replaces a clean wash rag through her "Hip Holster," the bag she makes change out of, and goes back to work.

It isn't until hours later that they are able to push the last few customers out. Looking at the wall clock, Carly sighs. Almost two o'clock.

"You can head on out Carly. Leave the clean up for the tomorrow Tracey," Jake says, totaling up the night's profits.

"Yeah, and get reamed another hole for being too lazy to do my job? No thanks. It won't take long, anyway." The two work silently for the next half hour, each doing their respective jobs. When Carly walks back behind the bar after putting up the last of the chair, Jake is just closing up the secret lock.

"Did good on tips tonight," Jake asked standing back up.

Carly shrugged. It could have been better, but she wasn't complaining. "Yeah, it was good," she spoke, nodding her head.

"Here," Jake said, handing her a some folded money.

"What's this," Carly asks, taking the wad from her. "Jake, I can't," Carly says, pushing the money back into the other woman's arms without success.

"No, Carly. You deserve. Especially since Ashlynn left so early. You had to cover all the tables by yourself, and I didn't hear one complaint - from the customers or you. That's the kind of business I like to run and obviously you're good for it."

"But still," Carly said, placing the money on the wiped down bar.

"Still my ass, Carly. I'm the one who should be thanking my lucky stars. I remember the day you walked in here. I practically threw you out. And now, you're one of my best waitresses... Actually the best. Take the money."

"I've got enough Jake, really. You take it," Carly pushed the money towards her. She wasn't rich, but she wasn't exactly poor either.

"You are a hardheaded woman," Jake groused, pushing the money back in Carly's direction.

"Oh yeah? And where, pray tell, did you hear that? No," she said, holding up a hand. "Let me guess. Sonny?"

"Who else would come in here yelling at me about working you like a machine?"

"He didn't," she exclaimed, astonishment on her face.

Jake shook her head, a smile playing on her usually hard face. "Its obvious to anyone paying a lick of attention that the man cares about you. Why don't you see it?"

Carly sighed, then shrugged. "I don't know. I mean...I guess I know, ya know?" Shaking her head, she continued. "Like tonight, when I went over to ask him to watch Michael, you would have thought I was a stranger off the street by the way he treated me. And other times too... He thinks I can't do this by myself. I guess his mentality is that women are the weaker sex, needing to be taken care of by men like him. But I want to prove him wrong. I can take care of myself."

She looked to Jake for some response, but the other woman seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. Taking the her apron off, she hung it on the proper peg against the wall. "I guess a lot of people think I can't take care of myself, but I can." She didn't know why she said it; probably just to make her point all the more clear.

Carly turned to walk into the back for her coat and purse when Jake's words stopped her.

"I know you can, Carly. You don't have to prove anything to me, well, minus your skills at waitressing. I know how much you love your kid; I've seen the two of you with my own eyes."

"Really," Carly asked, turning to face her.

"Yeah. A couple of times in the park."

"You go to the park," Carly asked, open-mouthed.

Rolling her eyes, Jake continued. "Its obvious to anyone paying a lick of attention that you love that boy."

Carly smiled. "Yeah. I do."

"And I think its courageous of you to want to take care of him by yourself, even though you could just sit back and have it all be taken care of for you. A lot of women wouldn't take the road you're travelling." Picking the money off the bar, Jake opened Carly's hand and placed it in, closing her fingers around the green bills. "Another reason why you should take the money. I don't pay you nearly enough. This might help out in tight times. Maybe even by your kid something he needs."

"But..."

"But nothing," Jake interrupted. "You don't need to prove yourself to me, Carly. I just finished telling you that. Now, get out of here," Jake commanded, already turning the her back on the younger woman.

Carly smiled. At least one person believed in her. "Thanks, Jake."

Minutes later, Carly was walking down the darkened alley towards the docks. Though she would have been frightened on normal occasion, knowing that one of Sonny's guards lurked somewhere in the shadows calmed her nerves. At first she had been pissed about the gaurds, but with time she had learned to deal with it. If there was one thing she could expect from hanging around dangerous company such as Sonny Corinthos, it was that no scenerio could be left unimagined.

Stubbling off the last step, she looked to see Jax sitting on a bench. He simply stared out to the water, oblivious to her or anyone else that could have been around. She really didn't need this right now, she thought, turning to retrace her steps. For some dumb reason, she stopped halfway up. She turned again, watching Jax silently. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was pretty late. What was he doing out at this time?

Carly shook her head. She wasn't his mother for God's sake! He could do whatever he damn well pleased and it wouldn't have mattered a damn to her. Shouldn't have mattered. But tonight, it did. Sighing, she stepped loudly down the steps, walking over to sit by him. He didn't even recognize her presence. Carly didn't know what to do. They sat quietly for a while, him staring out at the water, she staring at him.

She licked her lips, feeling nervous about intruding as she was. He was probably still trying to come to terms with Chloe's death. She didn't know much about it except that it had involved Jax, Chloe, and the infamous Helena Cassadine. Though she barely acquainted herself with the woman, Carly figured she was someone you'd rather have as a friend than an enemy from others reactions to her.

Resigning herself to being out here all night, Carly sat back in the wooden bench. Great time for her sense of duty to kick in, she thought sourly. It wasn't as if she owed him anything anyway. Well, except for that one time. But she was pretty sure she could have handled that night at the bar fine on her own. The only evidence proving otherwise was the remaining blotch on her skin from where she'd been bruised. Huffing, Carly looked out to the water.

"You don't have to stay here."

Her gaze swiveled immediately to Jax. Though he'd spoken to her, his gaze remained fixed on the still waters of the bay.

"It's pretty late," Carly began, unsure of how to get them both to their respective homes without any trouble.

Jax shrugged his shoulders, "So?"

"So," Carly said, eyebrows raised, "you could get hurt out here. I mean, I wouldn't want that to happen."

"You're not my keeper."

Angered, Carly stood, then sat back down. "Well, yeah," she said, "I'm not. But you did help me out earlier tonight, remember? I guess I feel like I owe you or something."

"You don't owe me a thing. I was glad to help." He finally turned to look at her. It was only then that Carly could see his red-rimmed eyes.

"You've been crying." A statement, not a question. Feeling nervous, she opened her purse to search for a tissue.

"No, stop," he said, putting his hand over her fumbling own. "I was cr...upset earlier, but I'm fine now. Or at least numb. Tears don't solve problems anyway."

"Yeah," Carly whispered, wishing her jumpy nerves still. What was wrong with her anyway. She should have just aksed Sonny's guard to take her home. The ribbing she would surely have received later would have paled in comparison to this.

Jax turned his gaze back to the water. "It doesn't even matter how much I cry. She's never coming back No amount of tears will change that."

"I'm really sorry about Chloe," Carly told him. At that moment, she chastised herself for not having attended the woman's funeral. It wasn't as if they hadn't known each other. Chloe had even designed her wedding dress! And more than that, they had shared a friendship, small as it may have been, but still a closeness on some level.

Looking over, Jax saw the clear regret masking Carly's features. He wondered if his face mirrored her own. "Hey, it wasn't your fault. You didn't lead her to her death. You weren't the one who abandoned her when she needed me the most."

Carly immediately noticed the change in his words. He'd abandoned Chloe? From what she knew, the two had been inseperable. She couldn't imagine what would have drawn his attention away from the beautfiul young woman who was once Chloe Morgan.

"She told me about her dreams. I mean, she knew exactly what would happen and when. And what did I do? I ran after that imposter Brenda like a fool. I knew the risks and I decided to take them, not even considering the danger I had put Chloe in." He shook his head sadly as the regret washed over him in waves. By the time he'd learned the imposter wasn't Brenda, it'd taken him forever to get back to the hotel in Paris. And by then...

"Chloe didn't deserve to die like she did," he whispered. Pain tore at him for what she had suffered. He could've easily prevented her death and instead had chased after something he knew was lost because he couldn't live with not knowing for sure. Now, he would have to live with the emptiness.

Biting on her lip, Carly placed her hand in his. His suffering was etched so clearly on his face. "Whatever happened wasn't your fault Jax. I'm sure...I'm sure Helena had it all planned and...and..." She didn't know what to say. That it would have happened eventually? How insensitive of her. Not knowing what to do, she curled her fingers around his.

He looked down to their joined hands and back up into her face as she gave a strained smile. "I didn't deserve her," he croaked, feeling absolutely despicable.

"Hey, now, that's not true," Carly said, her eyes fixed on him. "She was so happy with you. I know we didn't spend much time with each other but the little that I saw of her, it was clear to anyone watching how much in love she was. Saying that you didn't deserve her is like saying she didn't deserve you and she did. She deserved the best and you were it."

"But--"

"No," Carly said, shaking her head fiercly. "I know exactly what you're doing Jax," she sputtered on his name. It still amazed her that she and Jax could even speak together as if they were friends. But she owed him atleast this much for all the trouble he'd gone through on her behalf.

"When my baby died, I blamed myself because I had gone looking for a fight. I had thrown my content in AJ's face, wanting him to see that anyone other than himself could succeed in making me happy. The only reward I got was my child's death. And afterwards..." Carly shook her head. That had been one of the darkest times in her life. The memories brought pain, but she needed to do this for him. He needed to understand.

"After, I didn't even think I needed to live. I hadn't deserved that baby and I should just die because it had been my fault he was gone. All the pain that I've caused. The havoc and the mania, I mean... Its what I'm good for. The only thing I'm good for. But then I realized something important. I realized I had one son who still needed his mother, as screwed up as she is. And then I realized it was selfish of me to have ever thought I didn't deserve my son. He was a part of me," she smiled.

"The best part of me. And saying I didn't deserve him., that I didn't deserve to live, was like a slap in his face and Michael's because I would have been the best goddamn mother to that child the same way I am to Michael. I couldn't let the guilt eat me up, Jax. No matter what you part you think you may have played in Chloe's death, never say that you didn't deserve each other because you're only tainting the good memories you have left. You need to keep those memories."

Jax blinked, a tear rolling down his face. "I...I..."

"Here," Carly whispered, scooting over and gathering him close. She held onto him as he broke down, his sobs becoming the only sound in the still night. She couldn't help but cry her own silent tears. Tears for his pain. Tears for Chloe's loss. Tears for the life she could have had if her baby had lived.

Helena Cassadine turned, walking stealthily into the night. What she had just witnessed was trully interesting. Caroline Spencer comforting Jax? She would most definitely have Andreas look into the young girls past. She had already eliminated one pesky blond in order get what she wanted. What was another?