Huggins offered Clippers Head Coaching Job

University of Cincinnati Head Basketball Coach Bob Huggins was recently offered the position of Head Coach of the Los Angeles Clippers. Will he be able to sign enough thugs to play? Interesting scenario setting itself up out there, huh? Now everyone knows that Huggins can find the roughest, toughest, most criminally effective basketball players from all over the country, but will he able to do the same thing in the NBA? The UC Athletics page states the following: "Intensity. Hard work. Defense. These are terms frequently used in descriptions of Bob Huggins.Winner and champion are two other terms that portray Huggins' coaching career and his decade as head coach at the University of Cincinnati." Don't worry, We'll give you a few minutes to stop laughing...whew...ok. We are assuming that "intensity" means the dosage of steroids his players are using in the off-season. We will assume that "hard work" does not include the classroom considering several NCAA reports have shown he has graduated as few as 3 players in his 10 seasons at the school. We will also assume that "defense" means his defensive responses to why he has lost within the first two rounds of the tournament 5 of the past 6 seasons including the past four years. If these assumptions are correct, then we completely agree with the quote. Kudos to the Public Relations Director. Well done. Now the terms "winner" and "champion" are quite confusing considering Huggins has won little other than a few mighty Conference USA titles. (Beware of the mighty UAB Blazers). He certainly hasn't shown his championship coaching in the postseason. Huggins' teams have failed to make it past the second round 6 of the past 7 seasons. It was probably because they were matched up against powerhouses such as West Virginia (1998), Iowa State (1997), and Wisconsin (1994). UC has been seeded near the top of their bracket consistently for the past 5 years and have failed to reach the Sweet 16 four of those years. However, if you ask Bob Huggins why this is he will give you every excuse other than "We just got outplayed," or "They were the better team". He has given no credit to these schools that have shown many people that undisciplined streetball players do not advance far in the NCAA tournament. A solid, fundamental team beats these gangsters every year. His academic record is atrocious, his temper is as bad as any coach in the country, and his players have no respect for their opponents or the officials. But heck, he wins 20 games every year so that has to mean he's a great coach right? I mean look at Bill Guthridge's teams the past two seasons at North Carolina. The only reason they won is because of his great coaching techniques that included: sitting and watching, daydreaming, acting clueless, and did I mention sitting and watching? It's called talent folks and that doesn't make you a great coach. Coaching shows up in the tournament, and as you can see the Thugcats mail it in annually. We can only hope that Huggins takes the Clippers job and embarrasses himself with his lack of coaching ability. There are definitely some positives and some negatives with his taking the position with the Clippers. Some of them include:

POSITIVES

NEGATIVES

wouldn't have to cover up for the fact that his players were not actually attending any classes would no longer have to act like he cared about his players' futures would not have to worry about getting knocked out of the NCAA tournament in the first round we get to watch him suffer through a season with the Clippers could still watch his players play street ball on the court while not coaching

we would no longer get to hear new, exciting fairy tales for why he lost in the second round as a #2 seed salary cap might hurt his ability to recruit players with long criminal records and high bail costs long schedule may hamper his players' off-season steroid training no more of his thugs will go pro early and bomb in the NBA (i.e. Dontonio Wingfield) UC would have to change their nickname from "Thugcats" back to the original one - "Bearcats"

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