Journal

I don't think I'll be using this page for my journal any longer. From now on I'll be using Myspace for my public journal: Myspace Blog The old entries can still be found below. February 11, 2006 I was looking at my last entry on this site, and man things have changed since, so I thought I should make an update. I do have another car now, which is a 92 Plymouth Acclaim, with around 92K miles. It runs great, which is basically what I wanted. Nothing fancy, but it's not draining me in trying to keep it running. Still need to have my CD player installed whenever I get around to it. The tape deck has Adonai, a Messianic album, stuck in it. A great album, but I'd like to be able to play something else once in a while. To finish off what was on my last entry, I did buy my car, I got an A in my Spanish class, and finished up teaching my worship class. Still exploring jazz which seems to be a practically endless journey. I've now moved into my neighbor's house, where the band Protected meets. I have a little room in the attic. Nothing fancy, but it'll work. The house is nice. Decent entertainment room which will be cool to watch DVDs in. The best thing is I have full access to the studio down in the basement, where I can practice, record, jam with friends, and give lessons. I decided I want my life outside of work to be mainly music. Since I can't afford GIT or whatever at the moment, I thought it would be good to go at it by myself as if I was going to school, since so much of getting better is practicing alone anyway. This will be a great setting for that. The studio has a basic computer setup with a firepod (8 simultaneous tracks I think), a few mics, a drumset, standup electronic piano with weighted keys, a bass amp, and a member's guitar amp. Cool stuff if you ask me. I think God is really opening a door for me here, and it's up to me to take up His challenge as well. I'm meeting regularly with Protected now and playing keyboard. I don't claim to be some great keyboardist, but I know where to fill in where I'm needed. We're making a demo now, and I'm doing the recording and editing which is pretty cool, though a lot of work. We redid some older recordings and add a bit. Hopefully they'll be up on their website soon so people can actually hear what it sounds like though different musicians were involved. Playing with the worship team at church as well. I'm mostly just playing Sundays now, and wanting to let younger players take over in youth. I'm wanting to do the worship class again soon. I really want to see a couple guitar players raised up and playing regularly in youth. Well, that about covers it for now. Be blessed. October 20th, 2005 Well, I suppose I should update this thing now. Right now I'm teaching my worship class at church, taking Español, studying guitar with Mr. Hailstone, and now looking for a car, and of course the usual work and church stuff. I gave up my beloved Accord as it's transmission and other problems are costing too much and it's getting old. I really liked that car and I'll miss it. Farewell, my Honda, farewell. :'-( As for the class, it's going pretty good. Different than I'd expected, but I think things will turn out okay. I'll most likely be leaving the youth worship team for now, and one or two of the students will replace me soon. I'm glad to get away for now. I'm getting older and seeing those teens up there for youth worship is so fresh and exciting. I'd much rather they be up there than me. Me and leadership are working it all out. I'll still be very involved on Sunday, which I enjoy being a part of. This teaching thing is a great ministry being birthed for me, and I think it will continue in years to come. I'm also taking a night class in Spanish at Mt Hood Community College. I love this class and I feel it will really help me put together the grammar enough to have more real conversations beyond formal introductions. What God does with this in future I'm still not quite sure, but think it's a good thing to persue for now. I've continued studying guitar with Erick Hailstone, my teacher from PBC who's plays at Crossroads in Vancouver and does session work and that type of thing. This might go off and on though. This is a good thing going and I want to keep up and at least check up as I progress. We're delving into jazz and theory by working on old standards like Misty. I want to at least be able to at least hold my own in a jazz setting and this will definitely help my improvising. Slow jazz can also be used in Gospel settings which are still used in the church world, including my own once in a while when we sing old songs. I think this stuff will definitely benefit. Gotta get up early and look for a car. Don't like doing that, but we gotta do what we gotta do. That's all for now. Dios te bendiga. August 20th, 2005 Well, I guess it's about time I made another entry. Worked on this before, but hadn't quite got it online yet, so here it is. A lot's happened since my last journal entry. You'll be able to read all about my trip to Spain and Morocco on a separate page. Now that I'm back I'm gearing up to apply things I've learned through the trip and the two years at PBC. Me and the leadership at church are working on setting up a worship guitar class at church to help prepare people for the worship team. It's pretty much the basics, but I really feel a strong call on my life to give out the things I've learned. God used me in some teaching in Spain, and I want to continue in that. I'm wanting to help prepare our church for growth and help get ready for the future. I'm concentrating on worship ministry, but God seems to be doing similar works in other areas at my church. Pretty exciting times I'll say. I'm seeing a need to bring in more worshipping musicians, and I've gotten a vision to raise them up right from among our church, even those who have barely touched a guitar, but want to learn. This isn't normal lessons or classes in that this is specific ministry training and discipleship. I'll be teaching spiritual aspects of worship and ministry, not just technical. I'm excited and praying for God's help in the class. I've also felt I should learn Spanish, though it's off and on from CDs, software and such, though I'm not really conversational beyond a bit of smalltalk. Want to eventually take a class in it sometime though. Teaching and Spanish seem to be the new areas I feel that God wants me to grow in. Both are difficult for me in some ways, but thank goodness His grace is sufficient. I'm still into creative things, and have worked on a few new songs. I've also been filling in on keyboards for a Christian funk/pop band called Protected. In fact we did a thing on public access which is kind of cool. So those in PDX might see me playing on TV sometime if you have cable. Trying to keep up guitar practice. Lately I've been learning Spanish Romance, which is a great classical piece and also some jazz standards. I might go back to guitar lessons at PBC even though that's probably all I'll take. Done with PBC for now, but not closing the doors entirely if you know what I mean. Mr. Hailstone is a great player and I get along with him pretty good so I figure I might as well go with it. Anyway, I'll check out for now. Dios te bendiga. Peace, I'm out. June 11, 2005 Well, a lot has happened since my last entry. I'm getting ready for my Spain/Morocco trip next week! We'll be leaving on June 15th and coming back July 4th. First we'll fly to Cincinnati, then Paris(!), then Malaga, Spain. There we will be doing a worship training seminar for churches in need of training. Then we'll head into Morocco for prayer ministry and we'll be ministering to some of the missionaries who are doing the hard work of the Gospel. Then we'll be heading back to Spain and I think helping at some of the BETEL drug rehab centers and churches. Should be quite an experience! I'm now graduated from PBC with an Associate of Church Music. I'm done with PBC for now. Still trying to figure out what I want to do, but I'm concentrating on the trip at the moment. God did some amazing things in my life in the two years I attended at PBC. I learned so much and I felt I received a calling to teach and mentor people. I learned so much about worship, and leading, and serving, and loving others and how it all ties together. Now my church's leadership and I are discussing setting up some type of worship ministry class designed to take youth from beginning musician to being able to play on the worship team. We are needing more musicians and I want to help build in an expectation of growth, rather than be limited to the same worship players we've had for years. It's cool, because the pastors and worship team and really behind me in this and are figuring out ways to help. And when I come back from Spain, I think I'll be all the more set in the vision. Also there's a few things I'm doing with the band across the street from where I live. It's sort of a funk based Christian contemporary style, which is a new experience for me, but pretty fun. I'm mainly just playing keyboards and doing bluesy fills along with their grooves. They seem to like it. I just laid down some piano and organ tracks on one of their songs, and they want me to do another one before leaving on my trip. So it's going pretty well. I'm also getting back into writing my own songs again. I've learned a lot through the music training at school, and I can apply little things here and there. My styles are somewhat different now. I wrote a couple in the songwriting class I took, one with a bit of contemporary Gospel type of feel, another is a warfare praise type song. The song I'm working on now is more of a modern rocker. It's kind of a project figuring out a bunch of the riffs and drumbeats, but I'm really enjoying it. Anyway, things are going pretty well. God bless, and please pray for my trip. March 20, 2005 I was just at a dinner with the STORM team (short term out-reach ministry), from my school which is going to Morocco and Spain. Heard some inspiring stories of past trips, and the group talked quite a while about what it was going to be like over there. In Morocco we're going to be ministering to missions groups there and doing some on site prayer. The place is 99% Muslim, and could use much prayer for the Gospel to break through. In Spain we're going to be working with an organization called BETEL, which takes in drug addicts and people down and out, and gets them saved and on the road to recovery. It's amazing some of the stories told of these people who are so broken and yet eventually become leaders themselves. I'm beginning to really get a heart for these people, and want to do what I can to help. This is incredible where God giving me opportunities to minister. My home church as well is a mission as we reach out to youth in the city, some from pretty bad backgrounds. Last Sunday I got to see I think 6-8 baptisms from kids who really wanted to give their lives to serve God. When I see these things I realize how it's all worth whatever we've gone through before. Even for just one person saved it was worth it. My pastor says we're gonna save the people in the city even if it's one life at a time. Whatever way I can help whether playing an instrument or whatever else, I'm glad to be able to do my part whether at home or traveling abroad. One of my classes Music Leadership II deals with ministering in music to the church and culture. I'm getting a broader understanding of worship ministry and how it can be involved in evangelism and to the nation. I thought it would involve things like church administration which I thought might not appeal to me as much. But when it discusses ministering cross-culturally I feel more of a stirring in my heart, as I feel more of a call to outreach type stuff than the usual "music pastor" role, which doesn't appeal to me at all. I think I'm starting to understand a bit more of some of my calling, and I'm hoping to learn more this Summer on my trip. Well I'm gonna try to catch a bit more sleep before church this morning, so I'll stop for now. God bless. February 20, 2005 Greetings all. I thought I'd update this thing just in case anyone out there was desiring to hear me talk about myself for hours on end. hehe I have started my Spring semester and am really enjoying it. It could very well be my last as I'll be getting my Associate of Church Music and I'm not quite sure what I'll do after that. I do feel my experience here has been God-ordained and I'm glad I went even though it was very stressful. The classes I'm taking are so cool, and are almost all music. I'm taking Jazz Chord theory now, which is really helping explain some things here and there. Complex Gospel music is analyzed and is becoming more clear. It also teaches jazz improv stuff which is helping as well. I'm also taking Rhythm Section techniques which teaches the basics of drums and the rhythm section. Learning drums is pretty fun, though difficult at times. Music Leadership II is going through this great book which analyzes the role of music in the church and in culture. Some of this topic is fascinating for me especially dealing with world cultures. It's very loose and allows small group discussion which I feel really at home with. There's also my songwriting class which goes through Paul Baloche's book GodSongs. This is an awesome book, and has loosed some creativity in my own songwriting. Then there's the recording class which introduces ProTools and has access to M-Boxes and PCs, which is great. There's so much I could do with this, but unfortunately I'll have to watch that I don't spend all my time recording. In addition I'm also taking guitar lessons with the worship leader at Crossroads in Vancouver. He's a great session guitarist and attended Berklee, which is pretty cool. This S.T.O.R.M. team to Spain looks like it is going to work out good, though it will still be a bit of a stretch financially. We're going to Southern Spain to work with Belel drug rehab centers, and also Morocco for prayer focused ministry for the 99% Muslim nation. Should be exciting. Both rather difficult places, but the trip will be powerful. There is much prayer cover going on already. Your prayers and support are definitely welcome in this. I'm so looking forward to the trip. I think this is the best semester I've had yet, as I'm knowing people better, and studying what I love. Creativity and love for music are growing in me, to the point where I can hardly think about anything else at times, especially after seeing the Tom Dowd movie. Since I really dedicated myself to practicing and learning I've learned more this last year than the last five years beforehand. It's amazing what happens when one actually practices on a regular basis. I'm really hoping I can learn Recuerdos de la Alhambra over the next couple months, maybe even perform it over the recital. I've been working on the piece off and on for the last 9 months or so. It's finally starting to sound good and I can play though a rough version of the piece. I'm getting a new determination to really learn this piece no matter how many hours it takes to practice. It will be a good technical achievement and I really love the piece, which I used to listen to as a teenager on an old record. Well, I'd better get to bed, as I've got worship practice tomorrow morning. G'nite. January 15, 2005 I guess I should at least update this thing now, considering I haven't written here in around 5 months. I'm in between Fall and Spring semesters and enjoying the break. If all goes well I should be getting my Associate of Church Music after this semester. Praying about what I should be doing afterwards. If persuing music then possibilities are a secular university, Guitar Institute in Cali, or more PBC for a four year degree. I know God's given me other talents besides music, and I'll really need His wisdom if I'm to persue something else, whether through work, or taking classes. Or I could just work my way through years of union till my dues finally pay off. Though my job is decent, but I feel like I need more of a challenge. We have yet to see, and I have yet to make a decision. Prayers would definitely be welcome. This Summer the plan is to go to Spain on a trip through my school. Hopefully all will go okay with my work schedule, finances, etc. Assuming it all works out, the trip should be awesome, and I might tell more as things develop. Unfortunately I haven't worked on recording in a while. I would love to finish Crown Him, a pretty good rocker, and get it on musicdownload for all to hear. But I just don't know where to pick up from before. I have the time, but it's so much is messed up and hard to fix. And my recording equipment isn't really even set up yet. As for writing, I'm getting bits and pieces, but haven't finished whole songs. Did write a couple instrumental tunes. One short tune for classical guitar that I wrote for theory, and also a cool Celtic ditty for fingerstyle guitar. I might be able to record acoustic and classical soundbytes for my site to go along with my sloppy electric playing from a few years ago. I can say that I've become a much better guitar player in just the last year or so. I've found much fulfillment in that at least. I've got a long way to go though, which I can see especially after seeing the Dream Theater DVD (I have yet to shred 9 hours a day as Petrucci did in his younger days). And hopefully I can learn a thing or two in Spain in ethnic playing. I can barely do a rasgueado strum. How those guys can play like that blows me away. Hopefully I might have more stuff up on this site soon. Maybe a few more pics and sounds. If anyone has suggestions for improvement, feel free to write or tell me or whatever. I guess that's about it for now. Have a great 2005. August 21, 2004 Well, for those of you just dying to see my next journal update, I thought I'd at least let you guys in on what's going on. Just registered for school and had the first Friday chapel of the year, which of course was very good. Over the summmer I had a chance to work on my my lead skills, and learn a few celtic and renaissance tunes. I didn't practice as much as I'd hoped to, but I think there's still definitely an improvement. Also wrote a couple new songs. One's a fairly conventional fast worship song, kind of a contemporary rocker about living our lives for Him. The other is kind of sitting around and might need some redoing, but the idea and body is basically there. It's a rocker based on Psalm 150. It's uses some nice power chords and a cool harmonic riff that I need to practice. Maybe these type of songs can balance out the European type sound I'd been getting a while ago. I like a little of both. This semester I'm taking Life of Christ (taught by the dean's wife who's very prophetic), and Local Church (taught by the man Pastor Frank Demazio himself and one of the other teachers that I really like) for the general theology credits. For music I have Theory III, which should be interesting with just four crazy guys. I also have Worship Ministry, which should also good, Singing Techniques, Chorale, and guitar lessons. And last and also definitely least, the dreaded P.E. which is basically a personal exercise program that becomes more of a hassle added to the stress of everything else, than really doing anything for my health. I could get on a tangent about that, but I won't. My church has been doing well, and summer was good. We've been seeing new baptisms more, which has been awesome. God is good. May 27, 2004 Hey everyone. I'm out of school now! It is great being able to get a good night's sleep again. It's great not having assignments and tests to worry about. Though I still work my part-time job at night, I'm enjoying what free time I do have. I plan to really work on my guitar playing over the summer. I realize how far I've got to go. The metronome is starting to become my friend. I feel like I'm making up for years of sloppy leads without practice. Though I might never be a John Petrucci I'd like to at least achieve some shred level of speed and accuracy. This requires practice...MUCH practice. Yes, the rocker part of me is definitely back and ready to learn...really learn... I also want to work on a little blues, learn some renaissaince fingerstyle and more classical. I fear it's too much to take on in one summer, but I really want it a lot. I feel I really need to persue the gift God has placed inside me. I've had people wonder why I would take music or guitar lessons, saying I'm so good already. Nonsense. I think people tend to think I'm better than I really am, just because I rock out. And since most people just don't take music that seriously, especially here in the US, I tend to stand out. But there are some very basic things that I'm still learning, and I want to correct these, as well as take what I am good at to a somewhat more professional level. PBC has been a great place of training and blessing, but I got very burnt out from everything. Now I feel so free and refreshed both physically and spiritually. And this summer I really want to seek God's will for my life. Whether I become make it in the music biz or work in some kind of ministry or just work a regular job and help out at church, it'll be fine as long as it's in God's will. As far as my church it's doing fairly well now, even in our little building. We're seeing some results little by little and seeing unchurched kids come in who we try to help out. My heart really goes out to those kids. Though I might not be a youth leader, I am willing to do my part for the vision, playing on the worship team or whatever is needed. You all have a great summer. Be blessed! May 5, 2004 Wow, things looking very, very busy for me, but I thought I'd take the time to at least write something in this journal. Things are winding down at the end of the semester for me and finals are just around the corner. Things are going well with school, but I'm getting burnt out. It's very fortunate that I am on a vacation from work. Not planning on doing that much, as I'll still be busy with school. At least this week I'll be able to sleep at night and I'll have more time in the afternoon and evening. It's been a pretty good semester, but I'm ready for it to be done with. Things are going great with the guitar playing. The instructor here is very proficient in many styles and is helping me get better. I'm getting past the box I've been in for years. I figured something out. When you practice you get better! What a concept, huh? I'm learning all this Bach and beautiful pieces on classical guitar, which is a field I haven't learned all that much in before on guitar. I recently purchased a Spanish nylon string guitar with a low action and a neck that's not so huge and uncomfortable like some of the classical guitars. Since then I've barely even touched my electric. Guess the rock'n'roll kid is growing up� not! :-P I don't do piano much either anymore. Good riddens to the mundaneness of the limited 12 unsinging tones of the ghastly object that has come to symbolize everything I hate about Western music. LOL Well, okay, maybe that's going overboard, but you get the idea. It basically comes down to I feel called to play guitar on a more professional type level, whereas I'm satisfied to mainly play keyboard and piano by ear using it mainly to compose or play worship music or whatever. I'm learning a lot on guitar and probably playing better than I have before, at least in classical. I've fallen in love with this music as I did when I was a kid learning the first movement of Moonlight Sonata on the piano. I find an affinity with these great composers as I'm not just listening to their music now, or studying their lives, but I'm actually playing their compositions (even though many of the pieces are transcriptions of keyboard, lute, chamber ensemble, etc.) I wanna learn flemenco as well, but that is a whole new style, which I've barely started learning. I'm still kind of seeking God's will for my life, but I know that after 2 or 4 years of PBC I'll come out a better guitarist and musician overall, and have some Bible training to back it up. This will all help in some way in ministry. Art alone makes it worth it, but with God in the picture it makes all that much better. January 21, 2004 Shalom all. This week I'm registering and next week classes start. This might be my last journal update for awhile as I'll be pretty busy with school, work and church. I'm very excited about it, even though I know it's going to be pretty hard with my schedule that busy. I remember last semester how tired and stressed out I was. How I even handled that is amazing to me. I had to have God help in that. But I also remember how wonderful it was to be in God's corporate presence so much of the time. The classes, chapel, the teachers, and the students were wonderful, and it made it all worth it. That's why I'm really looking forward to it. I'm glad to be taking music classes again, though it might be a bit harder and less review by now. I like learning how music works in theory. And the sight singing and playing is really helping me learn to read music faster. These technical areas are weaknesses of mine which I want to improve upon. Unfortunately I didn't get to recording as much as I would've liked to have during my break. I had the time, but didn't use it on that. I did however write a new worship song to play the mandolin along with. It's actually very short compared to my other stuff, and I think would work pretty well for recording, and should be easy. Just a verse and a couple bridges and choruses. I really like it though, and have been singing it around quite a bit. I also worked on learning perfect pitch, which an online trainer (www.prolobe.com). I've been progressing little by little, but unfortunately I still don't have perfect pitch, though this program has helped me stretch my relative pitch abilities quite a bit. Even if I never gain the absolute pitch ability, the training will still help my ear quite a bit. Regarding my church, I believe we're doing good. I'm not quite as involved and sit out every other Sunday and just try to worship. I've noticed I can think about the words more when I'm not playing. Some of the newer songs out there have some great lyrics that have really ministered to me lately. When playing with the band I've been playing bass quite a bit, and really like it. I've gotten better since I've played it with the band for a while. In FGC (Frontline Generation Church) we got me on bass, then we've got drums and acoustic guitar, and then we got a DJ with turntables whose really good at scratching, basically becoming another instrument. I think God's blessing us even though we're still in that little building. When God took everything away, it really made us think about what church is really about. Now God's doing some wonderful financial blessings, and Pastor's been giving out some very encouraging words. I think this will be a good year for our church. There's a great song that's been put out by the independent band Cynical Limit (put together by Dennis Cameron former guitar player of the 90s rock band Angelica). It's called "It'll be Alright", and it really speaks for my life and my church. Check out the lyrics under: www.cynicallimit.com/media.html That's about it for now. I hope you all have a wonderful year. Be blessed! December 7, 2003 Wow, check it out. Pearl Harbor Day. Though I wasn't alive then I guess it's still a day we can remember. Kind of like 9/11 is for our generation. Well, anyway... School's out! Yay! I'm just kickin back and enjoying the weekend. I love the school, but I'm glad to have a break and not have homework. I'm planning on working some extra hours on a split shift at work though, which will keep me kinda busy. I'm also planning on getting some extra practice in at the piano before next semester. I'd like to be able to beat their next little piano jury test fairly soon. The 1st was easy, but the 2nd might require a bit more sightreading (ick, Reeeeding .. iz ..haard.. ffor meee,... im vary sloooo...). It might not be till next year though, we'll see. There's only four piano tests (#3 looks kinda hard though, might be awhile before I try that one). I've got time. I'm liking the challenge of it all. I wanna gain the technical ability to get through the PBC piano techniques, but I'll just integrate it into my own style. After I get through college I should be a more well-rounded musician and might be more satisfied with my skills. I gotta learn some piano rockin Jerry Lee Lewis type stuff eventually though, this same ole slow CBC and Hillsongs stuff day in and day out is driving me nuts. Hopefully I'll catch up on guitar practice, and maybe even violin. I'm starting to work on more songs again too. Yes, more cheesy power ballads. Sorry, it could be a bit dated and not exactly edgy, but this type of music is really the best way I can express myself. There's nothing that brings more delight to my soul than operatic vocals with the sustained powerchord, and then of course obligatory guitar solo after the bridge. Ah, tis bliss. (Look at the bright side, at least I'm not wearing glitter and tight leather! And yes, even my beloved mullet is sadly gone. :-( ) I listen to powerballads I wrote months or years ago, and I like the guitar work and melody, and yet can see it's rather laughable in a world where American alternative, hardcore, thrash, rock/rock, mallcore, etc has become the norm and "European powermetal" is a bit cheesy. (But then so is "Christian gangsta rap" LOL) What can I say? I'm old school. More open to new things than before though. I'm definitely looking forward to the next semester. It'll be nice knowing a few people and not being a newbie there. People are asking if I'd get involved in chapel worship. I'm so busy with church ministry I'm not sure. I'll just have to pray about that I guess. November 9, 2003 Right now I'm stuck at home from church, feeling kind of out of it. I've been feeling dizzy with a sore throat the last couple days. It's annoying. I've been tired and stressed out from school, and not getting that much sleep. On top of all that I rear ended somebody the other day, so now the grill on my car is smashed up. Not a pretty sight. I don't even want think about what my insurance rates will be later on. Oh well, at least I have a long weekend from school. I'm gonna have to spend time moving though. Yes, I am moving back into my parents. The rent here plus school just wasn't fitting my budget. (Besides I'm getting rather tired of this cold attic anyway.) I decided if it's a decision between my pride and the call of God, I'll go with the call of God. Sometimes your personal dreams have to crumble to allow God to use you and He of course brings new and better dreams. That's the way it's been at PBC. God basically interrupted my life and sent me here. Why else would a freakin 27 year old rocker be willing to become a freshman at Bible College, with all these MFI youngsters and having to submit to all these little rules? Of course that's how I used to think, but God is changing and rearranging some of my attitudes. The students here are awesome, and there is an awesome testimony for each one of them. The rules aren't even that bad, at least for me, but then I'm off-campus. I don't exactly have much of a love life at the moment, so the dating rules aren't that big of a deal. No R-rated movies, so I'll just wait till finals are over to go see the new Matrix. LOL Not sure how I'd handle living on-campus (a 10:00 curfew? ick...) though, which could happen eventually. I continually thank God for sending me to this school, as He moved in my life so much. There's so much more here than just getting a music education. Last Friday chapel worship was so intense. Though my body was weary, my spirit was soaring. I've felt more in love with Jesus lately than I have been in a long time, though I know it's not all about feelings, it's about a lifelong relationship with God with ups and downs. October 24, 2003 Okay, fine already! I'll make another entry! :-) (I didn't know my site had such a loyal fan club!) School is very busy. This is one of the busiest times of my life. The classes are excellent, and I have fun there, but then I realize how tired I am later on. I really don't have a lot of free time to work on websites or writing or music. When I'm not at school, work, or church, I've gotta work on homework, piano practice, or exercise for my PE credit. I'm pretty swamped. In the meantime trying to keep up some kind of a devotion life in the midst of all this. It's quite a challenge. I normally don't like being this busy, but often the classes are so good it makes up for it. It's midway through the semester and I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty worn out. I know God is working tremendously on my life right now though. It is during these times He develops character. He's so good in accepting me and knows my heart even though I so often fall short. The music program is pretty challenging, and though the theory has been mostly review, the piano lessons are really pushing me. I did not realize how much I have to learn. It's been years since I took piano, and having played lead sheets for so long, it's hard for me to play even the simplest classical pieces by reading notes. I normally excel in playing by ear, but here I'm learning more gospel type chords and rhythms which are a bit more complex than the Vineyard stuff or whatever. Not quite my style, but I'm all for learning it, because I normally take things I learn from all over the place and integrate it into my style. I want to learn how these types of music work, as I really want to be versitile in composing. I think I've gotten to be more open to different forms of music lately though. I've been blessed by the hymns I've learned in classes, as well as some of the gospel. Still don't put up much with the Hillsong stuff we sing all the time in chapel though. We do so much of this kind of stuff at church and school and whatever that I'm often just dying to break into a Stevie Ray Vaughn or even a Van Halen type solo on guitar. Yes, I am still and always will be a rocker. My church is making it okay. We're starting to raise up younger people in the worship team, though I think there's still a long way to go. One guy is learning to lead on guitar. In youth we got a DJ scratchin turntables and teaching others to do it as well. Kinda cool. Pastor has been teaching on deliverance from strongholds in the evenings. It's been good, and they deal head on with past issues. They're starting to give me a bit of a break here and there, to be able to worship in the congregation once in a while. I think everyone needs that sometimes. So that's where I'm at for now. Any prayers or words of encouragement sent my way would be nice. God Bless August 31, 2003 Wow. Looks like it's busy, busy, busy for me. I finally get a nice long weekend, so I thought I'd use some of this free time to write an entry. I've been going to Portland Bible College for a couple of weeks now, and I've found out I love it more than I ever thought I would. Of course my friends that've gone to PBC in the past are probably thinking it's about time you realized this! :-) Guess I had to find out for myself, and it had to be in God's timing. I'm finding out so much about God, not so much in head knowledge, but in going in depth in simple Christian foundations and strengthening faith even further. The chapel services are of course the highlight of the week. The worship services are out of this world, and it's wonderful experiencing refreshing I need for my own life. There are so many people from all around the world coming together seeking the will of God for their lives. In these chapel services vision is birthed throughout the student body, at least the ones who are receptive. Through the chapel services, the classes, and even the homework, God is telling me so many things, not necessary in words but more in my spirit. Many things in my life are being put on hold. I feel God will train me here, not only in music, but in ministry in general, and how to focus into ministry things about myself that I don't know quite what to do with. There is also more to my life than music, which is what I know for myself, but has also been confirmed by various prophetic words in the past. I want to explore other giftings God has put into my life, which I think will develop during this time. Nope, I'm not planning to be a pastor, or a missionary to Siberia, but there is a high calling for me, though I don't know everything at the moment. I'm taking music classes, in order to become a well-rounded musician. People ask me don't I already know a bunch of stuff about music? Well, to be honest I'm not where I would like to be, and I feel God has much more He wants to with me. If God gave me a talent, why should I not pursue it to the highest degree possible? I often felt there was so much more I could have done for God, had I practiced more and learned more during all these years I've lived. Though I often get tired from the busy schedule, (18 � credits, plus night job, plus church), I'm learning to have a better routine, which is really the key. I'm pretty much living on ramen and Krispy Kremes, and of course coffee. I don't get much chance to record these days, although I think God will give me new songs during this time at PBC. Church is going good as well. We're taking communion every week, and examining our hearts to get right before God. In fact I have service tomorrow morning, so I better stop writing for now. God bless! August 3, 2003 I'd better make this quick as I've got church tomorrow, and I'm at my parents' house (which has the internet) and I need to head home to rest up. In just a couple weeks I'll be starting Portland Bible College. I'm very excited about this. I feel God will be doing so much in my life at this school. I'll be able to persue knowledge in two areas I love, which are the Word and music. I think God will also put incredible people in my life who will help me grow personally and in ministry. I'll be very busy with both school and work, I might not have much time to record, but it'll work out okay. At least I will be learning a lot about music. My church lost its building, and we're now meeting in a little place in a business district, but it's going okay. The Holy Spirit is still moving and the congregation is still strong. We're realizing that its not about a building, its about people. Everything is working out fine. The meeting rocked last week, as God brought a fresh call to persue Him. I think it will go well tomorrow. God has it all under control, praise Him. June 22, 2003 Well, people are telling me I need to update my site. I guess people really do look at this thing. I might not do too much changing of the site, but I thought I might as well write in my news journal. God's done amazing things in my life the past few months. I can't say it has all been easy. A lot of things have been very rough on me, although some of it has been wonderful. I think you Christians out there can definitely identify in your own personal walks with the Lord. Whether easy or hard God knows what He is doing and it all seems to work out. I'm very thankful to Him. He's helping me to grow in many things that actually amaze me and wonder how He ever did it. He's done many things in me personally, and also with music. I feel that God is calling me to pursue a college education, and really pursue dreams I have in music. It's been a while since I'd gone to school, but I guess it's not too late. Last term I took some courses at Mount Hood Community College. Among them were Music History III (studies in 19th and 20th century composers) and Music Production II in which I learned some about recording and production. These classes inspired me a lot, and I'm hoping to get a lot done this summer while I have the time. I'm learning how while I've actually spent quite a bit of my life learning music, when I consider all the different kinds of cultures and various genres within all these cultures for thousands of years, up until today when you're able to hear just about anything, I've just barely begun to learn, and this is actually an incredible thrill for me. Music and learning are a journey which never ends. I've also begun to study the violin with lessons, which I feel will add quite a bit of new flavor to the music and open many doors in creativity. My pastor keeps looking forward to when I can play it in church. I am looking forward to this day as well, but like many things this will have to wait. Right now it's grinding scales and simple song learning and hard practice. In the fall I plan to attend Portland Bible College and learn more of church ministry and music. This was actually quite a work of God in my life to be able to come to this point as a few months ago I was very close-minded to the idea. I guess it just had to be in the right timing. I actually haven't been accepted in yet, and not everything in the situation has been set up yet, but I'm praying about it and I think God will work it all out okay. If for whatever reason it doesn't work out, I'll know God does things for His plans and for the best. I know I've often talked about putting out my music, but it doesn't sound like this is going to happen anytime soon. I've really had to leave this in God's hands. I don't want to go into the world (with the possible exception of movie or game soundtracks) or even the Christian music industry scene as I feel this all so based on commercialism, that it really doesn't seem very meaningful to me. I've not forgotten it though, just given up on things to happen at the moment. Music is so deeply rooted in my heart that I have to get it out onto the page (or nowadays the computer). I continue to pour myself into the music and work on material, but the process is so time consuming and slow. I'm certainly no Vivaldi or Mozart who could put out symphonies faster than one could believe possible. I do have a couple of songs on CD though. I haven't put them out on the internet, because I don't want deal with copyright red tape just yet. I don't leave too many news reports now in that it's all in the works, and I'm tired of getting mine or anyone else's hopes up for anything to happen soon, and who knows if anything will ever come of it. I have dreams in my own heart, but God doesn't always allow everything to happen at the moment. Please pray for my church as we're having very many difficulties, though we do have a vision that I believe can be worth sticking through and pursuing. Pray for the church of Portland as well. October 9, 2002 Here I am again. Ministry and music are going good. My church just dedicated the building and set the elders in place last Sunday. We're joining the MFI, City Bible Church's Minister's Fellowship International, which is a network of pastors and churches, but leaves the churches independent of demonination. Frank Demazio and Dick Iverson were there and gave us some words and prayed. It worked out great. I believe God has some awesome things in store for our church as well as the city of Portland in general. It seems to be kind of a rough area, but we believe that's where churches need to be set up. I'm all for that. I want to be with a church and ministry that's really doing something right where the action is and reaches out. If I'm not I get rather bored and restless. In my recording projects I just finished my epic worship rocker. Though still tentative on a song title, for now I think I'll call it "Song for the Bride". I don't think I'll put it on the web for now though, because of legal reasons. I also just wrote a worship song that's simpler and singable in church. It's all about brokenness and worshipping God like the broken woman in Luke 7 who anointed Jesus' feet. The song structure is very similar to a lot of the contemporary worship songs out there. The lyrics are very emotional and I tried to write it from the heart, rather than using the usual catch phrases. It's kind of a struggle sometimes to write worship songs, because it seems like there's only so many ways to say "I worship You". Even outside of songwriting it's a struggle in all of us I believe to try to come up with words to thank such a wonderful God. Even heavenly languages don't seem to totally accomplish this while we're on Earth. Only when we're in the throne room directly at the feet of Jesus, will we be able to experience worship fully. What a glorious thing to look forward to! September 10, 2002 Well, I've finally got online again. For a while I didn't have a service which kinda kept me from the site. Maybe someday I'll update my site (yeah, right hehe). Things are going very good. God has given me an awesome song which I've been doing a lot of work on lately. It's a powerful lovesong with some things from Song of Solomon and covers intimacy and worship. I feel it's prophetic and hopefully I've been able to make the right interpretations with music and lyrics. Of course it ended up being like 8 minutes long. I'd like to keep my songs a little shorter sometimes, but there's so much to cover that I wanna leave most of it in. I feel this is my greatest musical work ever written and recorded (glory be to God, not me). Someday, maybe you'll hear it when I'm finished. Dunno if I wanna put it on the web, cuz of copyright stuff. We'll see. Man, if it's taking this long to record one song, I feel it could be a long time, years perhaps before I come up with a good demo CD full of songs. Oh well, hopefully quality will make up for the time put in to it. I guess I'll justify it my perfectionist attitude by believing God's music deserves the very best, and shouldn't be taken lightly. This project is very big, with so little time between work and stuff, it's really taking a while. I continue to work on other projects with friends as well like the folk thing and believe it or not, rap. Yes, I recorded a rap for an old church friend. (My friend rapped, not me, I just recorded and laid down rhythm and bass) Quite an interesting experience, considering I know hardly know anything about the genre. God's teaching me to have an open mind lately I guess. Seems like God's putting me with amateur musician friends of all types. They seem to be interested in giving God all the glory too. I'd say it's developing me as a musician, and as a believer. June 16th, 2002 Okay, so I've been lazy about my my web site. Sorry about that. Lots goin on and I don't always keep up with things like I should. I've moved out now, and lots of things are changing for me. My church has also changed quite a bit. We have changed our name, our location, and lost our demoninational label. The vision remains the same as it did four years ago, when Pastor first came. We are now heading towards fulfilling it with our new location at the old Michaels building at 122d and Sandy, reaching out to the kids at Parkrose High School. I'm very excited about the changes, as I tend to be restless and get rather bored of the usual same ole, same ole church routine. I believe God is fresh and always moving forward, and the church should be as well. My music is doing great, but my works of worship are taking a while. I now have my own computer and recording software. This has opened many doors for me and the quality of recording is much better than my cheap analog gear. The songs are taking quite a while though, as what little time I have been spending with them I keep wanting to do more to them or get things just right. I'm afraid I won't be releasing these for quite a while. These are my dream works, and hopefully when my demo CD is finished the quality will be worth the time and effort I've put into it. I'm still rather low on gear, but the quality has improved incredibly since I switched to digital recording. Still not quite modern studio quality I'm afraid, but hopefully good enough to make a demo. The songs are somewhat progressive (most have been between 7 and 10 minutes). The songs are praise and worship, but influenced by celtic and european metal. Not really the type you normally hear on normal contemporary Christian radio. The songs have a lot of instruments and guitar solos, but hopefully won't sound too stuck in the 80s. I've been praying lately that God will help help me keep the passion and humility of worship while letting out the progressive composition and performance style that seems to wanna burst out of me. I want the two aspects to enhance one another and not distract. Only with God's inspiration can I hope to do that. I'm also taking on another project as well someone I met at work. I've taken the role as producer, arranger, and instrument player, and he writes the songs lyrics and sings them. Though we are different ages and come from somewhat different denominational and musical backgrounds, we both have a desire to use our creativity to serve the Lord. I feel that our differences have enhanced our creativity. The musical style is sort of a folk style similar to John Michael Talbot. Don't expect a lot of guitar solos and rock'n'roll on this album. But my musical roots are in classical and folk as well as in rock and metal, so this has been a rather refreshing and wonderful experience for me. Grace and peace to all of you, and God bless. January 5th, 2002 Well, it's the new year, and I finally have some time off after peak season at my UPS job. I'm working on music and stuff. I'm almost finished with Crown Him, which is a praise rocker. Just gotta rerecord a few things here and there. I plan to get an MP3.com thing goin eventually. My church is doing great. We're moving to a new building soon, which is gonna be awesome. I believe vision is gonna start being fulfilled. With the new location we'll be really able to reach out to the youth in the Parkrose area. It's really exciting. God bless you all, and have a great new year! November 13th, 2001 Well, here's my latest news. I'm playing keyboard and guitar on the worship team at Parkrose on Sunday morning and evening. The worship team is mainly kids who are way on fire for God and love to worship. The team's been goin for almost a couple years now. We're still working on stuff and growing, but we've gotten a lot better and more unified since we started out. I'm kinda the old fogie compared to the others, except of course Brian who's way, way, way older than me (a whole month). But the kids are worshippers and it's an honor to worship God with them. I try to spend time workin on my own stuff in some of my free time. I have two songs on MP3 on the web. Although Geocities is telling me my downloading traffic or whatever is too much. Maybe I'll need to find another site to hold MP3s and stuff. Oh well. I've often been working on midi, which I sometimes do in the wee hours of the night after work. I use MIDI for the piano, drum, and bass parts of songs, where I record onto one track of my four-track player. I'm working on one song called Crown Him, which is kind of a power rocker and a praise song. Just putting some final touches on the drum and bass midi track. Another one I'm working on is a medieval/celtic type midi instrumental, which might go on the web soon. Right now I'm concentrating on a song called Song Around the Throne, which is kind of a worship/celtic/power ballad. Song style sounds a little like one of those Celtic chick songs (except with my weird nasal sounding voice instead of a gorgeous female voice; oh well, I try), except electric guitars come in later for more of a power ballad type thing. I try to record the vocals, while my family's out of the house, which isn't always easy. The guitars though I record with headphones, direct-in with the RP-200. Guitars are sounding good, but I keep making one goof-up here or there, so that can be frustrating. Oh well. I'll just keep at it and get it eventually. Well, that's kinda where I've been at lately, so now that I've summed it up, I think I'll close about here. Praise God!