Some days, I just want to go back to that simple summer. When friendship was easy, required no thought, and the glimmer of forever shimmered so brightly. When it was nothing to think of your friends, and to feel the warmth and easiness flood you.  

But then Seren broke faith, and the backlash sent Sar snapping at me. And slowly, that bond dissolved too. 

I feel so lost anymore. I want that easy friendship back, where there was never any doubt, just a calm surety that we were friends, and that nothing but a serious violation would render that apart. But I don't know where to begin, and I don't know how to go back and fix it. And that scares me. Alot. I don't want to hold off reparing this, to wait and see that in a few more months, the gap is so wide, we don't recognize each other. I don't want to cling, but I do want the simple acknowledgment that there is some form of a bond there. But maybe that's the Beta wanting reassurances. 

My mind says wait a few more weeks, let time do it's work. 

My heart says let go now, and walk away while I still can, while it won't hurt too badly. Before I anger Sar anymore. 

My soul says grind my teeth and dive into that mess. 

And I don't know which to follow.  But the sands in that hourglass trickle slowly away, and I don't know how to stop it.