Mailbox

A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still, she had no mail, and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again, she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The Mailman won't be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail?". The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, "You've got mail".

There once was a really dumb blonde who had two horses. Now this blonde couldn't tell her two horses apart so she decided to ask her neighbor to help he out.

She said to her neighbor, "I have two horses that I can't tell apart, can you help me?"

"Sure," said her neighbor, "maybe you should nick one of their ears, then you could tell them apart."

So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day the blonde went to check up on her horses but saw that she could not tell them apart for the other horse had nicked it's ear also. So, she went back over to her neighbor’s.

"My other horse has a nicked ear now to." she said, " Do you have any other ideas how to tell them apart? They are both girls."

"Hmmmm." thought her neighbor," Cut one's tail shorter than the other!"

So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day, though, both horses had the same length of tail! So, the blond, tired of walking to her neighbor’s house decided to call instead.

" I see,” said the neighbor after the blonde told her about how both of the tails were the same, "Try measuring them, maybe one is taller than the other."

So the blonde did that then rushed back into her house, phoned her neighbor and said to her " You were right!! The black horse is bigger than the white one!"

A blonde was hard up for money, so she walked around her neighborhood, trying to find a job. She met a nice man who said he would give her work. All she had to do was paint his porch white. He gave her a bucket of paint and left. He walked into his house, laughing. He told his brunette wife what he had done. "Frank, our porch covers half of the house! You're so mean." his wife replied. Three hours later, the blonde went in the house, and gave the bucket of white paint back to the man. The astonished man handed her a $100 bill, and asked how she finished it so quickly.

"It takes time, but it was easy." was her reply. "Oh, and it's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."

One late night, a blonde was traveling when she passed a hotel and decided to stop for the night.

When she entered the hotel, she rented a room for the night and on her way up, she heard some ladies talking in the hall about a secret mirror in the girls’ washroom on the bottom floor.

The blonde became so curious that she had to check it out. So, that night the blonde went to the girls washroom on the bottom floor.

When she got there she saw a line in front of a mirror in which she joined.

Now the rule with this magic mirror was that she who told the truth in this mirror would be granted any wish she desired, but she who told a lie in this mirror would be sucked up into the mirror and never seen again.

So the blonde watched, the first lady looked in the mirror and said I think I'm the most beautiful women in the world....sssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again, the next lady in line went up to the mirror and said I think I'm the most sexiest women in the world....ssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again, next the blonde went up to the mirror with total confidence and said I think....ssssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuppppp she was sucked up into the mirror and never seen again!

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"