[Bumber Sticker Sayings]

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister. Worry, God knows all about you.

Jesus is coming, look busy!

Jesus loves you! (everyone else thinks you're an asshole!)

JESUS SAVES... But Gretzky gets the rebound, he shoots, he SCORES!!

I've found Jesus... He's in my trunk

Suicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!'

I have nothing against god, it's his followers that I can't stand

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over

Geez if you belive in honkus. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

I FOUND JESUS...he's in the truck of my car...you can see him for five dollars. Born again pagan.

God, please protect me from your followers.

God is living in Canada and doesn't want to get involved!

Do I look like a Hemroid? Then get off my ass

Backoff I'm a postal worker.

Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you.

Now that you are on my ass you wanna get married?

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it call a cop!

I'm not tailgaiting I'm drafting!

I am a slow moving disciple of the Swami Procrastinada

If you can read this, your to close. (Written in brail)

If you can read this, you're in phaser range

Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns

Do Not Tailgate. Or I Will Flick a Booger on Your windshield!

I'm not in heat SO GET OFF MY TAIL!

Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.

This car protected by a pissed off mother with a .45 auto.

Hold on before you pass, I'm reloading.

I have PMS and a gun.....excuse me, did you have something to say?

Happiness is an automatic weapon with a belt feed

Driver carries only $20 worth of ammunition

I still miss my ex...but my aim is getting better!

This car protected by Smith & Wesson

Fight crime, shoot back

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will accidentally shoot their children

Gun control means using both hands!

Gun control is being able to hit your target

Guns don't kill people, they just make it easier

My karma ran over your dogma. Cover me. I'm changing lanes. Friends don't let friends drive naked. If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

Caution! Driver's applying make-up

CAUTION : Driver Singing

The kids drive me crazy, I drive them everywhere

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL

If you think I'm a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt

Hang up and drive

e ErinI want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. . . Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!

It was only a lane change!

I drive this way just to piss you off.

Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your car ) -- Your Fire Dept.

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.

Caution I swerve and hit people at random.

So many pedestrians, so little time. Lost your cat? Look under my tires

<----Passing Side / Suicide----> Hang up and drive - Jennepher Barnes I wonder how you'd drive with that car phone shoved up your ass?

Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus. Welcome to Texas, now go home. Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities. Save California; when you leave take someone with you. I Cayman went. Wisconsin: Smell our dairy air!

WELCOME TO IDAHO. NOW GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA

If Texas is so great, what are you doing in New Mexico?

DAMM - Drunks Against Mad Mothers

I may be drunk, but you are down right ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning

A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without holding on

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth. Don't drink and drive--if you hit a bump you spill your beer

If I'm driving funny its probably becuase I'm drunk.

Beer isn't just for breakfast any more. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I have a problem with drinking... two hands and only one mouth

Honk if you hate noise pollution

Clap one hand if you love Budda

Honk if you don't give a damn

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Honk if you love cheeses. Honk if you're illiterate Honk if the twins fall out

Honk if parts fall off!

Mafia staff car.

MY OTHER TARDIS IS A POLICE BOX

My other car is a Zamboni

My other car is Christine, and she's right behind you!

My wife's other car is a broom.

This is not an abandoned vehicle. Do Not Wash - this vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.

Yah it stinks and is giving you a headache it's a desil

This car is like my husband, if it ain't yours don't touch it!

We're staying together for the sake of the cats. When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger. I'm the man of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so.

I got this motorhome for my wife....BEST deal I ever made!

LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS

Dad's the boss. Right Mommy?

THE GENE POOL COULD USE A LITTLE CHLORINE

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM

Thank you for not breeding

YOU!!! Out of the gene pool

Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control

So many stupid people, So few comets

Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Stop Inbreding! Ban country music.

When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws children will evolve.

A fool and his money are my best friends

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Change is inevitable... except for vending machines

Money isn't everything...but it sure keeps the kids in touch!

Hit me, I need money

Thank God for the IRS. Without them I'd be stinking rich!

If money could talk, it would say goodbye. A fool and his money are soon partying

IF YOU'RE RICH, I'M SINGLE

Bright red meat is good for you. Fuzzy green meat is not good for you.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter

There are only 2 choices on the menu: take it or leave it.

I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables

I like cats, they taste just like chicken.

If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Cat... the other white meat.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Grow your own dope, plant a man.

Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere.

Zero to Bitch in 4.0 Seconds - Susan Lee Rivas FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT

I'm the person your mother warned you about!

Men aren't pigs....pigs are gentle, cute creatures!

Missing, Husband And Dog; Attention $100.00 Reward For Dog

If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons

When God made man she was only kidding!

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now. Normal people worry me

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, your it

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT

Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship

Support mental health or I'll kill you

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles

If you're happy and you know it see a shrink

P.M.S ?!! Hell, this is one of my better days!!

Madness takes its toll--please have exact change ready

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. Life's too short to dance with ugly men. Life's too short to dance with ugly women. My other wife is beautiful. Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m. Never fight ugly people they have nothing to loose

Us blondes aren't bumb

If you think I'm a drunk driver you're wrong, I'm a blonde

Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel

When blondes have more fun, do the know it?