Article

No doubt, there are specialist type anglers of every species that take their particular branch of fishing extremely seriously - perhaps much too seriously. But, some that regularly move within the circles of Barbel angling argue that our favourite species appears to both attract and generate the most egotistical. Nevertheless, although there may be an element of truth there, somewhere, before we accuse anyone of developing an ego as big as their house, we must accept that the angling media plays a significant role in the breeding of egoism.

Of course, it could also be argued that anglers who develop self-interest as a foundation for morality would have naturally done so completely unaided by others. And it cannot be denied that there are a few who appear to revel in their self-generated delight to the extent of boasting about their own consistencies whilst seemingly sniggering at the misfortunes of others.

The way I see it, whether they are Barbel anglers or not, we will find that the egotistical can be seen to be everywhere - in all walks of life. What we cannot deny is that, particularly where big Barbel are found, the potential for competitive attitudes amongst those anglers who fish for them is never too far away. Accept that, and we may then recognise how many an over-inflated ego derives not only from the belief that one is competing with others, but, more importantly to the egotistical, that one must be seen to be doing better than the others. With the emphasis on that point, what those who are driven solely by ego appear unable to comprehend is that, in the world of Barbel angling, there still remains a high level of secrecy regarding big fish captures.

Therefore, if we happen to be an egotistical specialist, we could never be too sure that another angler is not doing considerably better than we are but is simply choosing to remain discreet about it. One thing is for sure. There are far more individual big Barbel captured during the course of any one season than are reported to the angling press - and often-bigger fish. Consequently, in many cases, a venue or river best could well be far removed from that we might believe it to be. So much for River Record lists and why you won't find any such collections of potentially inaccurate data appearing on this web site.

Not that this is meant to detract from the hard and often thankless efforts of anyone that wishes to dedicate the time involved in creating these lists. It's simply that the easily accessible levels of misguided information gathered far exceeds those levels of far more important, accurate, but virtually unobtainable information. Hence, working on that principle, in my opinion, inaccurate River Record lists appear little more a waste of time that could be far bettered spent capturing what might be a genuine River Record. Should anyone do so; then whether or not he or she notifies the angling press is entirely his or her own decision. And, speaking from experience, I know exactly what I would do - or, in this case, wouldn't do!

Returning to the subject of 'press-fuelled' over-inflated egos within Barbel angling, below is a tongue-in-cheek letter that I penned a few years ago and which was printed in The Barbel Society's internal magazine 'Barbel Fisher'. If you suffer from an over-inflated ego yourself, my advice is that you don't take it to heart. I'd hate to think that I was one of those responsible for shovelling up the mess!

The Elevator

It's difficult to imagine that there are any readers who haven't been on an elevator of some sort at one time or another. Of course, on this type of transport we have the choice of how high we wish to ascend. However, there is a ride available to every Barbel angler where he or she could travel from bottom to top without so much as pressing a button. The ride is completely automatic, has a ground floor entitled 'Novice' and a tenth floor marked 'Legend'.

To become eligible for this ride, the potential traveller must regularly submit photographs of his or her biggest individual Barbel captures to the weekly angling press. Having begun such procedures, two or three photographs later, you're no longer likely to be labelled a 'Novice' or 'Enthusiast', but a 'Specialist'…and all that was needed were three Lower Severn eleven's!

The Great Ouse delivers your next three notable captures at 14, 15 and 16Lbs respectively - and sees you advance a further three floors as you are transported from 'Maestro' and 'Ace' to 'Barbel guru'. Two more leviathans each weighing over seventeen pounds sees you rapidly promoted through the ranks of 'Supremo' to 'Expert' - and a seventeen from the same river halts the elevator at floor no. 9, 'Barbel King'.

Beware! At this point, some anglers may begin to believe you are some kind of hero whilst others will undoubtedly be envious of your good fortune. In either event, you will then be in danger of being shafted and you will need to watch your back. Realistically, you will then be faced with two choices: either to believe in your own hype, or to keep everything in total perspective by fully accepting that this is only fishing…and nothing more!

Anyone who achieves success has the choice of whether to notify the angling press of his or her captures. Most who do - or have done so in the past - are able to keep their heads screwed relatively firmly in place. Inevitably, and rather sadly, a few appear unable to do this and relentlessly push on for the top floor, marked 'Legend'. Once this is reached, often the inevitable happens and they do actually become legends. But, alas, only in their own minds!

Warning! At this point, many less successful anglers may seek your autograph and drench you in adulation. Tackle companies might even request your assistance in promoting their products and you will then be at risk of becoming far too carried away by it all. You may even begin to believe that there is more to successful fishing than being in the right place at the right time with a well presented hook-bait in the water and a bit of luck on your side!

You may even be tempted to forget that there are Barbel anglers who are equally, quite possibly even more successful than you. It's just that these guys choose not to ride the elevator and much prefer to keep a lower profile by avoiding any courtship whatsoever with publicity. You may even form the notion that, in every sense of the description, anglers are indeed true sportsmen who deserve the kind of adulation that elevates them to legendary status. If it's all gone to your head that much, then you are likely to believe that your own contribution to Barbel angling matters far much more than it actually does and the inevitable will begin to happen.

Not only will your head begin to disappear up your own backside, it will also begin to enlarge - sometimes this can be seen to occur rather rapidly. And the further up it goes, the more the head is prone to swell until it reaches astronomical proportions. (At this point, I would advise any innocent bystanders and witnesses to such events to stand well clear - with a reasonably safe distance being no closer than a mile.) Your head could then begin to pulsate quite violently, just before exploding and leaving a disgustingly horrible mess everywhere. And, remember, this is all because you have captured a few big Barbel, notified the angling press and then ridden the elevator incorrectly!

Thankfully for the queasy, such events are rarely witnessed, but this should not be allowed to detract from the seriousness of any potential happening. No one seems to know when next it may occur, so for those who prefer to see a little blood and gore, advanced bookings sadly cannot be taken. However, concerned, environmentally friendly members of the public should note that the emergency services are always called in to clean up any mess. Therefore, we should all be aware that the next time we hear the sirens, it may not be a fire or an accident but simply another Barbel Legend exploding!

I certainly hope that having almost read this particular piece, most find it at least a little bit amusing. If you cannot see the funny side at all, then maybe you need to watch out. If it offends, then perhaps you should consider exiting this particular elevator before it's too late! Scrape you up, later!

P.S. Of course, the elevator is purely imaginary; it doesn't really exist…or does it?