Blonde Jokes
Q:
How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump off the empire state building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette, the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Q:
What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the
overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q:
What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.
Q:
What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q:
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
Q:
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q:
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q:
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air pockets.
Q:
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q:
What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q:
What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome.
Q:
What do you call a blonde clutching at thin air?
A: A woman collecting her thoughts.
Q:
What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.
Q:
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q:
What do you call three blondes in a Volkswagen?
A: FARFROMTHINKEN
Q:
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q:
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q:
What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
Q:
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q:
What do you call a really smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q:
What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q:
What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q:
What do you call three blondes, sitting at a bar, singing, drinking Tab, and
eating apples?
A: The moron Tab & apple choir.
Q:
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q:
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q:
What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.
Q:
What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a
blonde?
A: "Space. The final frontier......"
Q:
What do you call a blonde in a black leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!
Q:
What does a blonde say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q:
What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q:
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Q:
What is blonde and green and jumps from bed to bed?
A: A prostitoad.
Q:
What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q:
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q:
What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in
the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q:
What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q.
What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde?
A: A blonde cheerleader doing cartwheels.
Q:
What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: A hundred dollar bill.
Q:
What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q:
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q:
What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q:
What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
Q:
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A You know they are out there but people have reported sighting UFO's
Q:
What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q:
Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q:
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q:
Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine?
A: Because she thought she was winning.
Q:
Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies?
A: Under 17 not admitted!
Q:
Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
Q:
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q:
Why did the blonde secretary cut off her finger?
A: She wanted to write shorthand.
Q:
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q:
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q:
Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A: She wanted to go on a round trip.
Q:
Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q:
Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
Q:
Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
Q:
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q:
Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q:
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables.
Q:
Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q:
Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q:
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.
Q:
Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q:
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: To keep their legs together.
Q:
Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q:
Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q:
Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q:
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q:
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q:
Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: 'Cause their balls show.
Q:
Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q:
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q:
Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q:
Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.
Q:
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q:
Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q:
Why can't Blondes dial 911?
A: They can't find the 11 on the phone!
Q:
What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.
Q:
Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q:
What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.
Q:
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q:
Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
A3: Because they are easier to find in the dark.
Q:
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Q:
What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A1: She didn't like it 'because she couldn't get channel 9.
A2: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.
Q:
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her bra?
A: Thanks for the refill.