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Rants
This page is dedicated to something close to my heart, the rant...
Why do people ride their bikes parallel to the bike path, on the sidewalk?

The PT Cruiser is the car of evil. It's sidekick/ward is the new Element SUV.

NightMan: The worst action show of all time. Main ranting points:

He flies vertically.
He cannot drive his car over 30 mph.
His power is to "tune into evil."
The show utilizes blue screens for exotic locations such as PARKING GARAGES.         When Johnny plays the sax, his fingers don't move anywhere near the time that the music changes.
Johnny sports the Lorenzo Lamas "Renegade" look whenever he plays the sax.
His molded purple suit has bulges in unnatural places.

Charlotte's Web: Humans assume pig writes in spiderweb, pig dies old and alone after being abandoned by all of his friends.  What does this teach the children of the world -- don't eat pigs because they may develop the ability to climb barn rafters and spin webs with complicated words describing their own usefulness?  (note: why would you marvel over "some pig"?  I would rather marvel over "some pork chop".) 

The Doom Generation: One quote : "You're so full of sheep excrement."

Bart Simpson: "The Giving Tree is not a chump."

Sales Tax:  When a store calculates sales tax, they round up to the nearest penny.  These fractions of a penny add up to enormous amounts, as proven by the movies "Superman 3" and "Office Space".  The goverment, through this craptacular rule, is effectively stealing money.  They know no one has enough gumption to actually cut a penny into literal fractions of a cent.  No one UNTIL NOW, that is...

Jurassic Park I and III: How many times can we perpetuate stupidity regarding dinosaurs?  First, we let them open doors with pretty French handles.  Later, we are forced to listen to them converse with each other for over a minute.  God knows, since the day I was born, my entire life's goal was to witness a conversation between Raptors.  How intellectually stimulating!


Have a rant you'd like to share?  Sent it to me!