CHAPTER16

CHAPTER 16

“You lied to me.”
Only Riddick’s long years of habitually not showing his reactions stopped him from whipping his head around to face her.
They were sitting in one of the med-labs numerous waiting rooms. Waiting for news of how the transfusion was affecting Jack. His blood had been taken three hours before and the staff had started the filtering procedure right after.
He hadn’t bothered to lie to the doctor in charge of Jacks case. He had told her he was in Slam and used as a guinea pig of Profearaben. He hadn’t gone so far as to admit to being an escaped convict, much less the psychokiller Richard B. Riddick. But he knew he was leaving it wide open for the doctor to make inquiries with the authorities. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to care. Fortunately the doc had been more concerned with Jack than with her “family.” She had just given a hard, considering stare at Riddick’s “shined” eyes but perfectly blank face and then gave the same kind of treatment to Zar’s worried expression. She had seemed to come to the conclusion that he truly cared about Jack and left well enough alone, hurrying away to make arrangements for the transfusion.
Jack had been given his blood over forty-five minutes ago and still no word from any of the personnel taking care of her. They had warned them that it would be at least two hours before any news would come to them. Still their warning had not helped his nerves.
His imagination had gone amok not five minutes after he watched them wheel Jack into the room. Pictures of a raving, blood spattered teen age girl ripping through door with wild eyes and frothing mouth played before his minds eye. The longer the peaceful quite had gone on, the more he tensed up. Sure that something was wrong. By the time Zar had spoken her softly spoken accusation, he was strung so tightly that it was getting painful just to sit.
A part of him had felt the frustration and pain build in Zar as the hours crept by. Slowly but surely she’d gone from a numbed hopelessness to an edgy anger. Like most people, her brain was trying to figure out who to blame for all the bullshit it was going through. He had sensed her fear, doubt and weariness at life treating her like crap start to bubble up. A slow boil that evidently was going to release it’s steam in his face.
She hadn’t turned to look at him when she spoke. Still staring out the star filled viewing window, her head resting in her hand, propped up against the upholstered love seat she occupied.
He let out a deep sigh and rested his head back against the headrest of the matching love seat.
He had no idea which lie she was talking about. There’d been so many of them. Some little, some great big whoppers. In either case, he didn’t have the strength to fight with her over them. He sympathized with her need for the truth at this moment. After all, he hadn’t allowed her the opportunity to question him in over seven months. He was sure she had a whole shitload of “Why’s” just clamoring to be answered.
And he really wanted to help her deal with everything going on, give of his strength. But he didn’t believe he could do it. Everything inside of him felt raw, bruised.
In less than a day he’d gone from doing a whore, brutalizing a child, being inundated with guilt when he learned about her grisly attempted suicide, having to tell the woman he loved (and who was for all intents and purposes the mother of the child) about the attempted suicide and his part in it, seeing the child lay dying and finally allowing a part of his abysmal past seep up from the depths of his soul in order to try and save the child. He felt like God was playing a major game of monkey in the middle with his mind!
He snorted softly in irony, realizing that usually HE was the one playing with peoples minds. That this was the first time he was on the receiving end of a royal skull fuck.
And now Zar wanted answers?! Not bloody likely!
“Leave it alone Zar.”
She didn’t send a comment back so he thought she had cut him a break.
Less than a minute later he told himself he should’ve know better. His lady didn’t back away from shit!
“When you were lying in my bed, holding my body, having just fucked me silly, you told me about your past! But you never said anything about being altered by a drug. You made it seem like you came by your abilities and tendencies by necessity. Why didn’t you tell the truth? It would’ve explained so many things. Made it so much easier to understand!”
Ahhh... so that was the lie she was talking about.
“Didn’t you trust me?”
The pain and betrayal in her voice so reminded him of Jack’s during their confrontation that his heart squeezed tightly.
“I’ve never trusted anybody more in my life.”
“Then why?!”
How to explain to her his shame at being treated like a lab rat? Being unable to stop them from using his body. Forced to do their bidding and play their games. Making the prison officials rich while he killed and maimed and laid his life on the line. Watching as if from a distance the decent parts of him that still remained go swirling down the toilet with each death and dismemberment. And finally his own confusion as to whether his acts and personality were all the result of the drug, or if it had just hastened the inevitable.
He turned his head to look at her. Expecting to see only her profile as she gazed unseeing out the window. Instead he found her looking right at him. Her blue eyes filled with tears, her freckled face red with anger.
Riddick knew the tears and anger weren’t all directed towards him. She was under a lot of stress, scared witless for Jack, afraid to hope, afraid not to. She was just looking for a fight. Something to get rid of her anger at being useless in helping Jack, her guilt in not being able to prevent the suicide. Zar was venting some big time frustration, though she probably didn’t know it.
Being forced by his survival instincts to be excellent at reading peoples emotions Riddick knew what was going on. Any other time, under any other circumstances, he would have given her the fight she needed to let off steam.
But at this moment, he just didn’t have the strength to inflict any more pain on her, even if it was of her own doing.
He ran his eyes over her disheveled clothes. She had obviously just got off her shift at the yard when he had found her. She was still in her one piece, dirty uniform. Her hair mildly tussled from the numerous times she had run her hands through it in frustration and despair. A shaft of compassion ran through him as he watched her. For such a physically sturdy woman, she looked awfully fragile at that moment. As if each moment of uncertainty and pain was draining the vigor from her body.
Silently he lifted his arms and opened them wide. Inviting her to come to him. To let his body shelter her from the storm swirling around them.
He saw her lips tremble in reaction. For a timeless moment she just stared at him in hopelessness, fear, and anger. Then she was on her feet, standing before him.
The tears had finally started to fall down her cheeks.
Yet she couldn’t seem to make the final move into his still open arms.
He wanted to wrap his arms around her and bring her down onto his lap, but he knew she had to accept his comfort of her own free will. If he forced the issue, she would just blame him later for taking advantage of her weakness.
So he stared back at her with his shined eyes. His face somber. Showing no judgement towards her. Just offering what strength he had left.
Zar closed her eyes briefly. Opening them, she reached for his right hand with her left, entwining their fingers. Slowly crawling into his lap, laying her head on his shoulder.
His left arm curled around her shoulders, tucking her up under his chin.
For a long time neither said a word. Soaking up each others presence was all the moment required. Not wanting to ruin the peace they found in each other arms.
She felt his large, muscled chest rise and fall with each breath he took. Soul shakingly happy that he was alive and there with her. Reveling in the sound of his heart beating beneath her ear. Confirming that he was whole and intact in body, if not in soul.
He felt the solid weight of her against his body, the softness of her bottom resting on his thighs. And for once it was a comforting, not sexual feeling that it inspired. He looked down at their entwined fingers and marveled at the smallness of her hands. His fingers long and blunt. Hers short and tapered. Their skins tones mixing her pale white with his light tan.
He brought his hand up from her shoulder and ran his fingers through her hair. Feeling the pain in his soul ease just a little with the heat and scent that was Zar’s alone. Grateful to God, truly grateful for once, that he had her in his life. Even if it was only temporary. It had been a gift that he had never thought to ever receive or experience.
She raised her face, looking up into his with all the love and sadness that was running through her heart.
The tears still glistened on her cheeks and he released her hand to wipe them away.
Her lips parted in a small smile of gratitude, his replied in like manner.
Slowly his lips descended to press softly against hers. A gentle caress between two mouths. Speaking the words of love and acknowledgment with their bodies so as not to break the sheltering silence they had wrapped themselves in.
Riddick was so gentle that Zar was reminded of the night of her watershed nightmare. Once again he was enveloping her in the cocoon of his strength and protection. She remembered how he had made her feel alive that night. Cleansing her of the ugliness of her past, making her want to be apart of something again. She so wanted that feeling at that moment!
Softly her tongue ran along the seams of his lips. Sending him a wordless plea of desire. Make me feel loved again! Make me feel alive again! Make me feel hope again! Make me feel safe again!
Make me feel!
Richard briefly lifted his face from hers. Searching her eyes for confirmation of her tongues request. Afraid he had read more into it than there was actually there in his need for her.
He saw his own need and desire reflected back in her eyes. A surge of hunger raced through his body. Not just to have sex with her, but to feel her alive in his arms again. To bring her joy after all the months of confusion and hours of pain.
Sitting her straight up in his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs, he took her face between his hands and devoured her mouth with his own.
Their tongues did the age old dance of love. Meeting, retreating, fencing, rubbing against each other in one long exploration of need.
Breaking off the long kiss with the need for air, he pressed the side of her face gently against his chest. Heart beating crazily, he tried to control the raging hunger rioting through his enflamed body.
He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten where they were at!
In a med-lab waiting room for the love of God!
Evidently Zar hadn’t quite come to that state of mind yet because she was opening his black shirt and running her fingers over his chest. Lowering her head she started to run her tongue over his flesh, alternating with little nips and sucks.
His breath rushed out of his body with the new surge of excitement her mouth created. Almost aroused beyond the point of caring, he new he had to stop them before it went too far.
Grabbing her head between his hands he forcefully raised her face to meet his eyes.
“We can’t! Anyone could come in! You’d be embarrassed to all hell!”
Her face flushed again, although this time due to arousal of a different nature, Zar licked her lips.
She knew they shouldn’t be doing this in that room. At that time. But she needed him in a way beyond physical desire. She needed him to reaffirm that she was alive! That she would survive as whole human being no matter what came next. She needed him to make her forget the world beyond that waiting room door, if only for a few minutes.
“Please...make me feel alive again! Make me forget! I know it won’t last forever, but just give me a little peace and happiness. To get through whatever’s coming next! Please Richard, love me!”
He couldn’t tell her no. Hell, he didn’t want to tell her no! He figured the med-lab people had walked in on stranger things than two people making love. If they got lucky, no one would ever know. They had at least an hour by his worst estimate.
With the amount of wanting running through his veins, he knew it would take a lot less than an hour. It was as if he hadn’t had sex in years rather than the hours it had been. The thought of Lossa now repulsed him in comparison to the freshness of Zar. How could he have ever thought Lossa resembled Zar?! It was like comparing the Sun and the moon. Though both were objects in the sky, one was full of brightness and life-giving, the other dark and lifeless. Zar made him want to be a better man. Lossa made him want to forget he was a man.
He was taking too long to answer her plea and Zar was sure he was going to try and talk her out of it.
“Please Richard...”
“Shhh...I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry. I’m just trying to figure out how we’re going to do this.”
“I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable! I just want to feel you!”
Relief at his acquiescence made Zar start unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Pushing it off his shoulders so that her hands and mouth could travel over the newly exposed flesh.
A part of her was horrified at her bawdiness. But the other more dominant part of her, the part that had survived tragedy after tragedy told her to get happiness any way, any how, any where she could. She squashed the horrified part of her down into a little hole in her mind. Promising to let it out later. Maybe.
Richard marveled at Zar’s aggressiveness. He’d never seen her this way. He liked it. A lot. But she was making him too hot too quick. And any thoughts of finding a more comfortable spot for her were fast disappearing under her wicked mouth and fingers. Her hands were rubbing over his nipples, her mouth not far behind. Her pelvis grinding against his still fully covered hardness. He hadn’t done anything yet but kiss her and she seemed fully primed. Fine with him!
“Okay lady, have it your way. Stand up!”
Zar felt him lifting her from his lap and groaned in disagreement.
He stood her on her feet while he remained sitting.
“Relax. I’m just getting rid of some our clothes. ‘Lights Off!’”
“Oh...good!” She smiled languidly into his milky eyes, the only light in the room reflected from Polaris 5 outside the window..
Damn, what a woman! She amazes me every time I’m with her. How the hell did I get so stupid as to leave her and Jack? Must of been brain damage from long ago just lately making itself known. Only reasonable explanation.
Reaching for the Velcro tabs to her suit he quickly had the heavy covering off her. Next came her bra and panties. Within a minute she was naked, chilled slightly by the coolness of the room in comparison to the heaviness of her suit and the leftover heat of Richards body.
Lifting his hips, he shucked his pants off. He hadn’t bothered to put underwear on earlier.
He was as naked as Zar and fully aroused. Not in the least bothered by the coolness of the room, but hungry nonetheless for the heat of her body.
Grabbing her hips he brought her to stand between his open legs. Bringing her belly to his lips to be kissed reverently. Sliding his hands up her sides till his hands cupped the undersides of her breast.
Her gasp of pleasure turned to moans as his fingers pulled and gently twisted her nipples. Feeling the pull of hunger glide down to between her legs. That place that was pulsing and moistening quickly for him.
Her hands reached for his head, still laving her stomach. Running her sensitive fingers over his rough scalp. A thin layer of growth sending shivers up through her arms. Caressing her hands down over his ears, along his neck, down across his back. Feeling the muscles clench and stiffen with desire as she stroked his heated flesh.
Removing his hands from her breasts, he slid them down slowly along her belly. Meeting and dipping briefly in between her thighs. Sending a shower of sparks along her nerve endings. From there they traveled down around her thighs to cup her bottom. Urging her forward as he sat back against the over stuffed love seat.
Her knees came along side his as he spread his legs wider to open her for his entry.
Placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage, Zar gasped as she felt him place the head against her opening.
Then slowly descended onto him fully as his hands gently guided her hips down.
She had forgotten how good it felt to be joined with Richard! It went beyond the physical plane. It was like a piece of her body that had been missing since birth was reattached. All the nerve endings alive with pleasure and desire. Her mind at peace with the knowledge that her body was whole once again.
They stayed that way, joined but not engaged in the dance of love, for long minutes. Enjoying the contact of flesh inside of flesh, skin touching skin, heat mixing with moisture. Running their lips over each others face and neck. Then kissing deeply, their tongues imitating the motion their hips would soon enact.
Letting the peace of togetherness inundate their souls. Blotting out, or at the very least lessening, the horror that was life at that moment. Refusing to let love give way to sadness and tragedy for the few precious minutes allowed them.
Who finally moved first neither would remember, but soon their hips were rising and retreating against each other.
Zar gasped as the friction created liquid fire through her body. Breaking the kiss and raising her face toward the ceiling, trying to experience every little spark of pleasure that Richard gave her.
Seeing her lovely face contort in pleasure he smiled in the dark. He would never again think of sex as just being sex. With Zar it meant so many more things. Life, happiness, renewal, hope, forgiveness. Redemption.
Moving his hands from her hips he brought her breasts to his mouth. Sucking deeply and strongly on the nipples. Feeling her core flutter in response. Grasping his hardness in response to the desire overwhelming her.
She was making little groans in the back of her throat and he knew she couldn’t hold out much longer. Redoubling his thrusts he brought her head down for a quick brutal kiss. Stabbing at her with his tongue, he felt her nails sink into his shoulders at she started to shake with reaction.
One hand pulling on a nipple, he reached the other down between her legs. Gently rubbing and flicking the swollen pearl throbbing there.
Zar’s body exploded in a thousand stars. The pleasure lashing her from everywhere. Shaking her like she was in an earthquake. Going on and on till she felt all the strength leave her body and flow into his. The tingles shooting along her nerve endings, leftover pulses racing along her womanhood. Clenching him deeply because it just felt too good to stop.
But finally she had no more strength to move. Laying her forehead on his shoulder her heavy breathing making her body pant.
Soon she realized that he was still very hard within her. But he wasn’t moving! Raising her head she stared at his face lit in profile by the planets light.
“Richard?”
“Shhh...I just want to stay like this for a minute. Feeling me in you. A part of you. Knowing I make you happy. Being with you like this is the most happiness I’ve ever had! The most I’ll ever have. Thank you Zar. For giving me the gift of your love. No matter what happens, it’s important you know that I appreciate and cherish you above all else. Understand?”
At one time she would have refused to acknowledge the possible doom in his words. But the last few months had shown her how unpredictable his life was. She wouldn’t waste time by fighting with him over his view of his destiny. All she could do was give him the heady aphrodisiac of pleasure till either he believed in a future for them, or ...well, there was no “or.” They had both seen the alternative and it meant a lonely, empty and desolate life for them. With consequences that affected the life of young girl.
Moving her hips with a languid rhythm, she set about to bind him to her permanently with pleasure.
“Love me Richard. Make me alive all over again. I know you can do it. You’re hard enough to make love to three women! Teach me how to give you so much pleasure you’ll never leave again!”
He knew what she was doing. But damned if he wanted her to stop. The more she took from him the more he wanted to give.
Joining her in her movements he realized that the little break in the action he had taken had given him some control over his desire. He could bring her to peak again before he reached his limit.
This time he waited as long as he could before touching her anywhere else on her body. He just stared into her eyes. Letting her see what giving her pleasure did to him. How it made him strong and weak at the same time. Giving her the gift of his vulnerability. Letting his face reflect his almost out of control hunger for her. His approaching climax written all over his face with intense eyes, clenched lips and the sweat poring off his brow.
Zar was breathing heavily through her mouth. The friction between her legs was so strong it was almost becoming painful. But it was a slight pain edged with a great deal of pleasure. She felt if she didn’t come soon she’d go mad!
Finally reaching the point where he knew he couldn’t hold back a minute longer, he again reached between her legs and softly rubbed along edge of her clitoris, knowing that after her recent orgasm direct contact would be painful and that she would still be sensitive enough to attain her peak through indirect touch.
The soft moan of pleasure and stiffening body announcing her crisis sent him over the edge.
He was always surprised at the feeling of intense peace that the intense sensuality brought with it. Racing all over his body and brain like a storm lashing a ship. Drops of pleasure forcing themselves into every nook and cranny of his psyche. Healing the fissures that had been created in cruelty and hatred. Making him feel a little bit more human each time.
Feeling as if he was purging his pain and doubts along with his seed into her body. Where she changed them into happiness and hope.
Zar collapsed against his chest. Body heaving and shaking, awash with pleasure and lassitude. Nonetheless her mind screamed out in anguish ‘How could he give this up?! How could he deny me this?!’
Not realizing in her pain that she had spoken aloud, she jerked when he responded.
“I can’t Zar. I can’t give this up. And I’ll never deny you this ever again. At least while it’s in my power to do so. No more running away. I’ll stay as long as you want me to. For better or for worse, I’ll stay.”
He had ran his hands up through her slightly damp hair as he spoke. so that her face was framed in his hands. Looking deep into her troubled and disbelieving eyes, trying to convey the honesty and conviction behind his pledge.
“You’ll stay even if...Jack...”
Giving her a slight shake he said the words she couldn’t bring herself to say.
“Yes! Even if Jack dies! We’ll make it through some way. You’ve convinced me that we’re better together than apart. And the simple fact of the matter is that I don’t think I could live without you now. You’re too much a part of me. It scares me, I don’t mind telling you that. I don’t like to need people. Opens a person up all sorts of painful and deadly situations. But I’d rather live with you and be worried about the ‘what ifs’ than without you and be the emotional black hole I was before.”
Zar could only smile in reaction to his words. Relief that Richard wasn’t deserting her leaving her weak. Resting her forehead against his, she whispered a small prayer.
“Thank God.”