disclaimer: these are my thoughts. some are very serious, some light-hearted. these are things i just can't write in my blog. it's more personal stuff. i understand that by putting these writings here for public scrutiny, that i'm basically asking to be judged. okay, judge me (as if you needed permission). but don't tell me. any emails about this diary will be deleted. for those who know me in real life, if you mention anything written here, you take the chance of being blatantly ignored. for a long time. this is an outlet for me, just something that i need to do. if you can't handle this, don't continue. or continue. i really don't care. apathy much?